[Final Fantasy XIII] Crystal Dreams of Eternity

Chapter 12: (II.4) You are Not the Brightest Bulb
A Final Fantasy XIII Fanfic
By jen-chan
March 3 - 25, 2011

CHAPTER SYNOPSIS: During-game. How does Vanille feel about recent changes in Lightning and Fang's?

NOTE: I wanted to try something a little different with this chapter, so I've written it from 2nd person POV. Please let me know if it falls flat or not! Also, as a heads up, I've reorganized some of my early chapters for the sake of flow, but there otherwise, have been no changes to them!

Comments and Criticisms are greatly appreciated!

Fang's having sex with Lightning.

How do you know this?

Because Fang's been flirting with (at?) Lightning like she was some sort of bull behemoth during open mating season for the longest time, and then, suddenly, one day, *poof!*, she stops. No, she hasn't stopped teasing Lightning altogether, but that teasing has definitely lost some of it's more over-the-top edges.

You are able to peg this change in demeanor as occurring sometime after their run-in with the skunkenzilla, but when you ask Fang what actually happened at Sulyya Springs, she looks you in the eye with a completely blank expression and denies anything having happened at all.

Then she starts being extra nice to you (not obviously, but in the little things) helping you out with stuff when you don't really need it, giving you the best cut of the meat when she comes back from hunting...

It's like she's apologizing for doing something wrong, and when she's done something like this before in the past, eventually, you find out it's because she's been seeing someone.

It's almost like a conditioned reflex.

I mean, sure, you understand why Fang had to be really careful about keeping her conquests a secret in the past; even though those girls don't mean anything to her, Fang's mindful and considerate of them. Their reputations could really get ruined if word got out about them fooling around and all.

Love and sex are not the same thing - that's a belief that Fang's firmly held since you two were teenagers, but it isn't something *you* believe in.

To you, love and sex should go hand in hand. You're an adult now, and you feel that you shouldn't sleep with someone unless you're in love, and if you *are* in love, then sex would just be a natural expression of that love, right?

It bothers you a lot, that - Fang having intimate relations with Lightning but refusing to admit to it. It makes it seem... dirty somehow. Like it was something to be ashamed of or apologize for.

Sure, you can understand why the extent of Fang's relationships have only culminated in casual sex in the past (so many issues there), but things are different now!

Things are as they should be now!

Fang's with *Lightning* now. And Lightning... Lightning's different from all those other girls (you really, really, really want to believe that)!

So why, then, is Fang (and Lightning for that matter), insisting on denying their relationship?

Why won't they just admit that they're with each other?

Why does Lighting avoid looking at you in the eye when she talks to you (oh, that part *really* gets your goat)! You were just starting to get closer to her too! The conversations you guys were having were just starting to get better and more natural (you've really been enjoying those!), and now, suddenly, they're all stunted and awkward again, like when you first met (it's like you've totally taken three big steps backwards)!

Of course, somewhere in the back of your mind, and in the deepest parts of your heart, you understand why they're acting the way they are.

You just don't want to believe it, (though you know you should).

You don't want to believe that it's because of *you* (though you know it's true).

You don't want to believe that you're standing in the way of Fang's happiness (though you know you are).

You don't want to believe that you're any sort of third wheel (though you share a tent with them at night; how could you not be).

Your brain and your heart are warring with each other, and it's making everything oh so confusing.

So you decide to take one side and ignore the other as best as you can:

It's not you!

There's another explanation for all this!

There's got to be a reason why they're denying it!

It's not *you*!

It can't be!

Holding this thought as firmly as you can in your mind (even if you're not quite there yet), you run off to try to figure out what that explanation is.

You decide to talk to Sazh about it. Sazh is the oldest one in your group, so he should know best, right? Lifetime of experience and all that?

So you seek him out and you find him, polishing his guns. The baby chocobo is sitting beside him and sees you first. He chirps you a greeting, and you pick him up, playing with him absently while you ponder how best to start this conversation.

"... Sazh... can I talk to you for a minute?"

Sazh looks up at you, sees the look on your face, and gets an 'uh oh, here comes trouble' kind of expression on his own. Still, he nods, and makes room for you beside him.

"What's up, Vanille?"

"... Is it... customary on Cocoon not to admit it when you're in a relationship with someone else?"

Sazh raises an eyebrow. "Mind givin' me some background here? Before I mess up your perception on what Cocoon's suppose' to be like?"

You squirm a little in your seat. Should you tell him, or not? Eventually, you nod. "It's Fang and Lightning. They're sleeping together but they won't admit it."

Sazh's eyes bulge out of his head. "Whoa! The soldier? With Fang? Are you for real?"

You nod. "Yeah! But they keep tip-toeing around me, and won't admit that they're seeing each other!"

Sazh starts chuckling. "Well, damn! That explains some things! When did this start? No wait, let me guess, Sulyya Springs?"

You nod again.

Sazh nods in understanding, still chuckling. "Damn... and here I thought the soldier would loosen up if she was getting some. Guess not! But, anyway, your question again? Is it normal not to admit it when you're in a relationship with someone?" He strokes his beard in thought. "... well, what makes you think they're in a relationship?"

Your heart twitches with concern.

You do not like what Sazh is implying at all.

"They're having sex! Of course they're in a relationship!"

They have to be!

The old man raises an eyebrow at your reaction. "Uh... Vanille, having sex is not the same as being together." He says.

Your heart drops into your stomach a little when Sazh says this.

Nooo! It can't be! Even though that's what Fang said to you all those years ago, you can't believe it!

Your bottom lip quivers as you ball up your fists. "But... but I thought better of Lightning! She's not supposed to be like all those other girls!"

Unable to handle the answer that Sazh has suggested to you, you run off, even as he calls after you.

Silly Sazh! He doesn't know what he's talking about! He's...! He's *old*! Yeah, that's right! He's old and he's cynical! He doesn't understand what love is anymore!

As you try to convince yourself that Sazh is wrong, you look for Hope.

Hope! He would be someone better to ask! He's young! He should be more idealistic about what love is!

You eventually find him, gathering supplies. He looks up at you as you approach him.

"Hi, Vanille," he says. He can see that you are obviously flustered, and his eyebrows crinkle in concern. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"Hope, I have a very important question to ask you!" You say.

"Okay." He gets up and looks at you seriously. "Shoot."

"Would you have sex with someone you're not serious about?"

"W-what?" Hope's eyes get really, really big, and he takes a step backwards. "I... I... where is this coming from?"

"Tell me, Hope!" You cry out.

He swallows, turning red in the face. "I... uh... well, no! No, no, I wouldn't do that! Unless you would, in which case, alright, I'm game!" He appears to be peering at you for your reaction, and when your brow shows the slightest hint of even beginning to furrow, he quickly switches back, "erm, I mean, I was joking! Ah... seriously... that's, uh, not something I would do..." His eyes keep shifting back and forth.

"Aha!" You say triumphantly, choosing to completely ignore the first part of his answer as you pump your fist in the air. "Take that, Sazh! I'm right! People don't do that, so they *must* be in a relationship!"

Hope looks really confused. "Who's in a relationship?"

You turn back to him. "Hmm? Oh. Fang and Lightning! Sazh just thinks they're having sex, but *I* think they're in a relationship!"

"What?" Hope chokes on his spit and starts to cough wildly. You wildly thump him on his back to help him recover. Eventually, he can breathe again, and looks at you with massive eyes. "Fang and Light?" He says weakly. "Really?"

You nod eagerly. "Oh yeah!"

"Wow... I... I didn't even know..."

"Well, that's because they're being stupidly secretive about it." Your brow furrows.

Right - that was your original concern, wasn't it? Before Sazh freaked you out about Lightning's intentions. Why were Lightning and Fang denying their relationship?

You look at Hope - he's been so helpful so far. "Hope, do you know why people would be secretive about being in a relationship? Is that a Cocoon thing?"

Hope shakes his head, still evidently a little shocked. "Sorry, Vanille. I can't say I have very much experience with stuff like that. Although..." He thinks about it. "There's this boy and girl in my class. Everyone know they're a couple and that they're... doing it, but they keep denying it because, well, for one thing, their parents would kill them..."

Your eyes widen as Hope's words hit home.

Parents? Family?

"They're hiding it because they don't have family approval?" You ask quietly.

Uh-oh. That's not what you want to hear at all! You *are* in the way!

Hope thinks about this and nods. "Yeah... I think that's it. Or something like that."

"B-but, I approve!" You insist at Hope, desperately. "I totally approve! I am totally their number one fan!"

Hope looks confused again. "Wait, are we talking about Fang and Light, or the couple in my class?"

But you're not listening to him anymore, you've run off again.

You have to give Fang and Lightning your approval!

You're frantically looking for Fang and Light, but can't seem to find them anywhere. You're so busy looking for them this way and that, that you don't even see Snow in front of you and run head-on into him.

"Woah, Vanille," he says with a laugh as he steadies the both of you. "Where's the fire?"

"Sorry, Snow!" You apologize. "I'm in a hurry! Have you seen Fang and Lightning?"

He shakes his head. "No, sorry, can't say I have..."

Damn! You're ready to run off again, until you realize something.

Snow. He's the only one out of all of you who's in a healthy, regular, normal relationship (even though his bride-to-be is in a crystal at the moment). If anyone can give you advice, surely, it would be him!

Stopping in your tracks, you turn and run back to him. "Snow!" You say, excitedly. "How did Lightning give you her approval to court Serah?"

Snow blinks at you. "Uh... she didn't?"

You boggle. Lightning was really *cross* with Snow when you all first met, but she's (relatively) warmed up to him since you all started travelling together! She *must* have given him her consent by now!

"What? What do you mean, she didn't? Didn't you ask her for her permission to marry Serah?"

Snow shook his head. "No. Why would I need Lightning's permission? I mean, sure, it would be nice to get her blessing, but I don't *need* it. The only woman's permission I need is Serah's..."

"Oh." You are surprised with this turn of events.

Snow is still looking at you with confusion on his face, so you explain to him. "Well, in Oerba, the man must prove to the girl's family that he can care for and provide for her at least as well as they can. He's actually got to challenge her father in combat. If he wins, then the family consents to the marriage."

"Really?" Snow raises his eyebrow. "Wow. That's actually... kinda cool. To be able to acknowledge each other as men on the battlefield..." He gives a short laugh. "Man, I wish we did that on Cocoon. That way I could have just beat the approval out of Lightning and save Serah a bunch of heartache..."

You wonder if Snow really would be able to get Lightning's approval that way, or if that would just give her a really good excuse to render him incapable of fathering children, but even as you think this, a light bulb turns on over your head as the hamster inside your brain excitedly starts to run as quickly as its little legs can carry it.

You give Snow a big grin. "Oh, wow...! I get it! I know what to do now! Thanks Snow! I think I've just found a way to tell Lighting I'm okay that she's sleeping with Fang!" You give him a quick hug before you run off.

"Oh, you're welc-WHAT? Vanille, say that again?"

It's okay! You get it now! After talking to Sazh, Hope, and Snow, you're able to admit it to yourself:

It *is* you. You *are* the one standing in the way of Fang and Lightning's happiness.

You *are* the reason why they won't admit that they're seeing each other, that they're loving each other.

But it's okay! You can admit that to yourself now, because you know how you can fix it!

Eventually, you manage to find Lightning, even though you haven't yet been able to find Fang. The soldier is quietly doing some stretches, a little ways away from camp.

As you approach her, you clutch your binding rod to your chest, and put an expression of utmost determination on your face.

You have to do this! Now! Before you chicken out!

Fang's forbidden you from talking to Lightning directly about it, but, somehow, you've got to show the both of them that you're totally okay and approve of their relationship!

... still... just in case, you quietly utter several synergist spells under your breath to buff yourself up a little; nothing wrong with being prepared...

Lightning hears you and turns around to look at you. There is a guarded expression in her eyes that makes you want to scream, but you hold that in for now. She quirks an eyebrow at you. "Yes?"

Thus acknowledged, and with no further warning, you cry out with as much authority as you can muster.

"Lightning Farron! I challenge you to a duel for the honor of Oerba Yun Fang!"

Lightning stares at you like you've got two heads. "Ex... cuse me...?" She finally manages to ask.

"Stop looking at me like that!" You pout, "I mean it! Lightning, get ready!" And with that you wildly swing your binding rod at her.

Lightning stops your swing with her bare palm without batting an eye.

You try in vain to wrestle your weapon back from Lightning's grip (damn she's strong) but she holds onto it easily, preventing you from swinging again.

"Hey!" You cry, "that's not fair! Let go!"

"What's going on, Vanille." Lightning deadpans.

"I told you! It's a duel! Now take me seriously!"

Lightning is not impressed.

"If I took you seriously, you'd be bleeding all over the ground right now."

You grin as meanly as you can, copying the way Fang does it when she's trash talking, but somehow, you get the distinct impression that you are only managing to come off as harmlessly cute rather than intimidating; Lightning doesn't even blink.

Well! You'll show her!

"Are you sure about that?" And with that, you wave your arm. "Death! DeathDeathDeathDeathDeath!"

Lightning's eyes get ridiculously big, and she lets go of your binding rod to leap out of the way on the off chance that your ultimate saboteur spell works.

"That the hell!" She cries, "Vanille, what are you doing?"

Hmm... maybe you shouldn't be trying to cast death. There *is* that one in fifty chance that it actually might work after all...

Now what would Fang say to you if you accidently killed Lightning? Wow - that wouldn't be pretty at all!

It's prooobably safer if you switch it up with some other spells...

"Slow! Daze! Deshell!" You know that you must keep peeling the spells off to keep Lightning at a distance, 'cause if she has a chance to close in on you, you are *done for*.

Apparently, Lady Luck's on your side and your slow and daze manage to hit Lightning square in the face before she has a chance to draw her gunblade.

Her eyes glaze over and she blinks at you stupidly, utterly refusing to believe she is having this much trouble against you. She's trying to will her mouth to work, but your magic is spot on and she can only gape at you dumbfoundedly.

Taking this chance, you quickly swing your binding rod again, wrapping your lines around Lightning's body to trap her. Then, you switch to ravager and cast Fire, Aero and Water at the soldier.

Lightning doesn't stand a chance. She gives a grunt of pain and takes all three elemental spells head on. She is launched into the air by the wind, and then the fire and water hit her.

You keep at it, sending spell after spell at the soldier - Lighting makes noises of obvious discomfort as she is kept up in the air by the force of your magic. Unfortunately though, you can't keep it up forever, and you eventually tire out and have to take a rest: this allows Lightning to fall back down to the earth, and she lands with a *thud* and an *ugh!*

You eye Lightning warily - she's still on the ground, wrapped up in your lines, but the daze spell is starting to wear off, and you can see in Lightning's eyes that she is ready to skin you alive.

Waah! Craaaap! You are *sooo!* going to die! What the hell made you think this was going to be a good idea?

You know you must knock Lightning out now, or you are in for a world of hurt. You send spell after spell at the pink haired woman - fires and water and blizzards, and the fires end up colliding with the waters and the blizzards, creating a terrific cloud of steam that obscures Lightning from view.

Even then, you don't stop, switching back to saboteur to send a few more debuffing spells into the steam cloud, hoping that you connect with Lightning but unable to tell if you do.(You even spam a few more 'deaths' in her direction in your blind panic).

Eventually, you're gasping for air and have to stop. As you rest, you realize with a sickening twist in your stomach that the lines in your binding rod have gone slack.

Lightning has freed herself.

Wearily, you stare at the cloud of steam, and as it fades, you can see your very painful and graphic eminent demise standing before you with an unholy black aura and glowing red eyes (okay, so maybe you exaggerate. Lightning's just a little worse for wear. She's holding her gunblade in a defensive position, so you realize she's evaded many of your spells. Her eyes do promise pain though).

You can only see Lightning standing there for a brief moment, and then she's *gone* as she sprints up in front of you and the next thing you know, Lightning's gunblade is right up against your neck and all you can see is her eyes as she gets right up into your face.

You give a small 'eep!' of surprise.

Lightning's left eye is twitching as she glares at you. "Yield?" She finally says.

You would have nodded, except you'd probably lose your chin if you did. "Y-yes ma'am," you squeak out. "You win."

Lightning continues to glare at you for a few more moments before she finally puts her gunblade away. "Now, what was this all about?" She looks... tired.

You clear her throat and try to get it all out as quickly as possible.

"Lightning Farron, I acknowledge that you have defeated me in a duel, and have proven yourself capable of providing for my family member! I therefore consent to your courtship of Fang, and you taking her into the Farron clan!"

Lightning just... stares at you.

You sweatdrop.

Maybe you should clarify - Snow said this wasn't a custom of Cocoon!

"Well, what I mean to say is, I am totally okay that you and Fang are together! Please keep having sex with her!"

Now Lightning's eyes widen again - she seems to be doing that a lot today. "W-what? I'm not...! I mean, we haven't...!" Her whole body flushes red. "What are you talking about?" She finally settles on. "I haven't been having sex with Fang!"

You blink. "What?"

"I'm not having sex with Fang!" Lightning repeats herself - loudly, and the completely frazzled expression on her face tells you that she is telling the truth. "What makes you think that I am?"

"Oh!" You put a hand up to your mouth in surprise. "... but! You and Fang have been acting so... so totally *weird* around me! It's the way she *always* acts when she's sleeping around!"

Oh dear. It's only now you realize that a few of the assumptions in your theory are proooobably on the far fetched side. Totally belated, you remember the brief conversation you had with Fang in the Ark ('are you planning on courting her? Or just bedding her'?)...

Lightning's eyes narrow fractionally as she's picked up on something you've implied in your words. "... Vanille, just how many women has Fang been with?"

Uh oh.

You start sweating bullets. "Um! Not very many at all! Not at all!"

You know you're just making it worse; Lightning doesn't look like she believes you at all!

Crap! Fang is going to *kill!* you!

So you decide to go with the truth - that will probably cause you the least amount of trouble. The words spill from your lips.

"Okay, maybe that's not exactly true! But what's true is this, Light! Fang *likes* you! A lot! She's never felt for anyone the way she feels for you. And I... I like you a lot too! I really want the two of you to be happy together! It's killing me that you two think you have to hide anything from me at all! It's been so awkward the last few days - I hate it!"

Wow. That came out totally ridiculously. You are a twat.

But somehow, something you said appears to have made it through to Lightning as intended because she stares at you for a moment longer, before closing her eyes, and gritting her teeth. You can almost hear her counting to ten under her breath as she tries to calm down.

And then, Lightning speaks, and her voice is unsure, but strong.

"That's... kind of you. Thank you."

Her face is doing some pretty odd twitches, and it takes you a while to realize it's because she's debating whether or not to say anything more, or to just leave well enough alone.

Eventually, she decides to contribute to the clearing of the air.

"Thank you, Vanille. That... actually means a lot. I... am attracted to Fang, but I didn't know if it was appropriate to continue to act on that attraction."

You frown. "Why ever not?"

Lightning looks uncomfortable, but continues. "I guess I just wasn't sure how you and Fang... fit. I once asked her a question. A stupid question. And she answered ambiguously, so I wasn't sure what to do."

Really? You blink. "What was the question?"

"... I asked her, if women were allowed to marry each other in Oerba, would she and you be together."

Your eyes widened. Fang never told you that! "What did she say?"

"She just said that it was complicated."

Oh. Good GRIEF! You can't help but roll your eyes. "Well *duh* it's complicated!" You cry out. "I mean, it's not a simple, 'if A, then B' kinda question! It's totally a 'If A, then B, which could lead to C, but you should then take into account D, and probably E, so potentially F, but maybe G' kinda question! Or something like that!"

Lightning looks a little surprised that you'd attempt to spout math logic, but says nothing.

So, you continue on, steadfast.

After all, you and Fang have already agonized over all of this in your teenaged years, and you aren't about to allow yourself to feel any more grief over a silly what-if question!

"Lightning, I love Fang to pieces! I want nothing but for her to be happy, and you make her happy! So if you *ever* make her sad, I sweat to Etro, I will poison you in your sleep! Ok?"

The pink haired soldier is regarding you with a new found respect in her eyes, and slowly she nods.

Huh. Somehow it doesn't surprise you that the threat of bodily violence is what it takes for Lightning to accept your acceptance of them.

"Good!" You take a deep breath, rather proud of yourself, and unable to believe that you are able to be so forthright. Fang would be proud of you! A big smile splits your face, and you give Lightning a big hug. She stiffens in your grip for a bit, before relaxing, and you can feel her put a hand on top of your head.

Eventually, you release her. "Alright! Now that that's out of the way, give me some details! What do you mean, 'continue to act on that attraction'?" You repeat her words, grinning cheekily. "Does this mean you've already acted?"

Lightning smirked. "I know better than to raise to that bait." She says.

You pout. "You're no fun! You know, you two should just do it, because I've already told everyone you are anyway."

Lightning's eyes get big once again.

"WHAT?"

Uh oh.

You gulp and flee for your life.

Later that night, while you are discretely trying to cure yourself of various Lightning-inflicted damage, you can hear Fang clearing her throat behind you, and a shiver of absolute terror traverses up your spine.

You quickly put on the puppy dog look before you turn around, making your eyes as big and round and moist as possible.

Fang's not buying it.

"So I hear you married me off today." She deadpans.

You wince. "Maybe a little?"

Fang rubs her face tiredly. "What were you thinking?"

"A lot of things. All at the same time. So I think I kinda got confused."

"I'll say." Fang sighs, and sits down in front of you, tapping her foot on the ground patiently.

You recognize that this is your chance to clear the air. "Fang, why have you been acting all weird around me? I totally misinterpreted it all and ended up thinking... well, a lot of things."

Fang is unfazed. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Now you give her a deadpan expression.

Fang looks mildly sheepish. "... alright, maybe I was a little bit..." And now, she sighs again, an awkward expression on her face.

"Vanille, this thing with Light is... different. I don't know what it is yet, but, whatever it is, I *didn't* want you to think that you're not still the most important thing in the world to me because of it."

Fang grows quiet then, and gives you a strange look you've never seen before.

Wow. You never realized that Fang could do the puppy dog look too.

You grin as you throw your arms around her. "Fang, I love you, and I know you love me. That's never going to change, no matter who you or I fall in love with, get married to, bear children of, and live happily ever after with. If you've found someone who might be able to make you happy, even if you're not totally sure about it yet, don't you *dare* try to use me as an excuse to avoid finding out, or I will be *very* angry with you, you hear?"

Fang looks at you with an unsure expression on her face for a second, and then she laughs, and a grand smile splits her face. She ruffles your hair.

"Thanks, Vanille. I always knew that, but... it's good to hear reminders of it sometimes."

You give Fang a big smile back, happy that everything is all right again.

... now, all you have to do is figure out how to keep her from finding out you spilled the beans about her exes...

AUTHOR'S NOTES & OMAKE

Many thank yous to guubear for helping me bang this chapter out! I wanted to try something different with the 2nd person POV, but I don't think I had the skill to pull it off. :( This chapter isn't the best, but it's still miles better than some of the original drafts, and that is all due to you, guubear!

As a heads up, I'm in the process of re-arranging of the previously released chapters for the sake of flow. I feel like 'Dancing' and 'the Hot Springs Episode' should come before 'Differing Societal Values'. As well, I feel like some of the post-game chapters should come earlier, so there's some movement there too...

Apologies for the confusion! Thanks for reading!

Cheers,

jen-chan

OMAKE 1: 1 in 50

[LIGHTNING and VANILLE are facing off against each other.]

LIGHTNING: What's going on, Vanille?

VANILLE: I told you! It's a duel! Now take me seriously!

LIGHTNING: If I took you seriously, you'd be bleeding all over the ground right now!

VANILLE: Oh yeah? Take this! Death!

[Spell hits LIGHTNING in the face]

LIGHTNING: [Eyes roll into the back of her head and keels over] [dies]

VANILLE: ... ... ... dammit! I was saving that one up for platinum ingots!

OMAKE 2: Rumor Mongering

[EVERYONE is seated around the campfire eating dinner. SNOW, SAZH and HOPE keep stealing glimpses at LIGHTNING and/or FANG discretely between mouthfuls.]

FANG: [Leans over towards LIGHTNING] Is it just me, or are the menfolk acting really strangely tonight?

LIGHTNING: [Eyebrow twitching] You think so? I hadn't noticed. [Gives VANILLE a hard look].

VANILLE: [Refuses to look anywhere in LIGHTNING's general direction] Lalala...