Disclaimer: I do not own JONAS.
C o l d C o f f e e
"There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment."
— Sarah Dessen (The Truth about Forever)
The rainy and cold New Jersey evenings always held a place in her a heart albeit how small it has become. The combination of the rain's soft petering on the roof earlier and the cold always made her think about coffee and books. And getting her frappucino and book fix is actually the reason why she's out there on the damp streets this chilly night.
People always thought she hated rainy days. People always thought she avoided getting cold. People always think, people always assume. She has come to accept that those are the two things that people, no matter what age or size, all have in common. They think and assume even if their ideas or assumptions are quite moronic sometimes. She has come to live with the fact that no one was perfect and if there was really someone perfect out there, she would never be good enough for him. She has come to terms with rejection and disappointment. She has come to terms with the agonizing pain the thought of being unloved has brought her over the past few years.
She sighed as more cars and fast-paced people started to crowd the streets. She pushed open the glass doors of her favorite coffee shop. The place had no sign outside but patrons called it McGill's. It was small and quite unnoticeable to busy passer-bys. The place was old but it somehow felt like a second home to her. It was actually a library but 8 years ago, they've added tables and a small bar near the entrance. She could still remember the day her dad brought her to McGill's. She was just 10 then and a bit naïve about being in a library. The hot chocolate the place served made her love it though. It was also where she first read her favorite book Peter Pan. The simple library-slash-coffee shop took her to worlds she couldn't have ever imagined if she was out on the fields playing football with boys instead.
She waited for the smell of coffee and old books to hit her. She always loved how inviting and intoxicating the classic books at the second lane smelled. So she smiled at Chris, the owner, and immediately went over to where the classics were neatly shelved. Once she found the perfect book to accompany her, she went over to the small bar and ordered a couple of glazed doughnuts and a large-sized frappucino. She scanned for an empty seat and found one near the wide glass window. She opened the book and was immediately engrossed by it that she never noticed a boy about her age pull a seat across her.
"A Midsummer Night's Dream. What an interesting choice there." The voice sounded so awfully familiar but she didn't bother looking up. She was too caught up with Demetrius and Helena.
"Mmm-hmm." She wasn't exactly thrilled about being disturbed.
"Well, it is good. It's just that it doesn't say you like glazed doughnuts do." What a peculiar humor this one had! Her brow creased at the statement but still she never bothered to look up from her books.
"You don't really seem like the girl who'd like reading Shakespeare." There they go again. Thinking and assuming.
"Amazing what can change in just two years." And with that, she looked up. Her hazel orbs were met with mesmerizing chocolate brown ones. He was always the well kempt one but the wet spirals of hair dangling just a few centimeters above his eyebrows made him look more boyish and unexpectedly better-looking. As if he could get more handsome than he was just years back. No, she wasn't really that into him. Yes, at one point she was obsessed but she just loves their music too much that she can't get her hands off on tidbits about Jonas. Maybe she had a teensy crush on him but that was two years ago. That might not be a long time but just like what he has said a few minutes back, amazing what can change in just two years.
"Nick." He smiled at her as soon as that sparkle of recognition crossed her eyes. She felt uneasy. Her mind was throbbing but she managed to keep it down by distracting herself with the gentle hum of the blender a few feet away.
"Goodness, I can't even grab our number one fan's attention now? What happened to the 'Oh. My. Gawd. It's Nick of Jonas!' and 'You're pretty,' screams of affection, Mace? I must be getting old." She smiled back at him, remembering how crazy she had acted around them. But it didn't reach her ears like they did in the past. She has learned her lesson.
"You're not the only one getting old. And after all, girls should be wooed and were not made to woo." He laughed at how she quoted the line from the book she was holding. His eyes shifted at the half empty cup of frappucino. She kept on staring at him. It was as if she would die if she looked away. Yes, she did have a crush on him two years ago but it was as if some evil force was telling her it wasn't merely a crush. It was something more. Something as evil as murder.
"Didn't know you guys were back in town."
"We wanted to surprise you but we couldn't find you at your house so we split up just a few hours ago." How come he's here? As if reading her mind he answered, "Believe it or not, we used to stalk you. Since you know almost everything about us, we thought it was fair to know your secrets too." He smirked and somehow she looked a bit annoyed. His crooked smile faded when she stood up and walked over to the third lane and started eyeing random books. She had feelings for him. And she had thought he reciprocated her feelings but she was merely a human girl who thought and assumed. What a pity.
"Well, I've figured out you come here every time it's cold or chilly." She acted as if she heard nothing. Her behavior was confusing him. This was not the Macy he used to know. It was her yet at the same time isn't. She started walking back to her chair and packed up her things. She went to Chris to borrow the book and dashed off the shop without finishing her doughnuts. By loving someone, you're committing suicide.
He caught up with her on a lonely alley and turned her around by grabbing her wrist. "What's wrong? Look, I know we left and practically cut off all connections with you but we're back now. That's all that matters, right?" He sounded breathless. It was as if he has no clue how uncomfortable she is with the fact that they left her. He left her. Why did he act like there was nothing there, nothing between them when he and his brothers left for the tour?
"I'm not angry." A lie. She has been spouting lies for more than a year now.
"No, you're not. But I still wanna say I'm sorry." Sorry for what exactly? For leading her on then leaving her? If it's that, that can be easily forgiven. It was probably her own fault. But the four of them leaving her made her feel … unwanted like she has always felt before Stella came into her life. That was the truth, wasn't it? She was unwanted which is why they left her and came back seeing her only as a charity case. This couldn't be a coincidence after all, if it was, what great timing they had.
"It's okay. I'm fine." The greatest lie ever told! He saw pain cross upon her face. It was heartbreaking.
"Don't lie to me, Mace. I know you."
Her eyes narrowed. "And who are you to say that I'm lying? Do you really know me, Nick? No, you don't. So don't go around saying I'm lying because you have no fucking idea what I'm struggling with right now." And she broke down in front of him, clutching the book close to her chest.
He looked at her with awe. She was stronger then but maybe he just assumed that after he knew she was practically on every sports team. He crouched down beside her and held her in his arms. It feels somehow different now. It's like she's letting herself go, not like when they were sixteen. It always did seem unrealistic to him when she was all-smiles-Macy. And maybe, he did not only have feelings for this Macy but he loves this Macy in front of him. This Macy who's depending on him to hold her up and shield her for now at least.
"Hush, Mace. I'm here. I'm not leaving you." Comfort was all he could offer right now and it pains him to not even know what's wrong with this girl.
"No, don't say that. Don't ever say that again. We both know you can't stay. You'll leave me, just like everyone who has ever said that to me, just like my dad." Her voice faded into a soft whisper. Every word of care and affection was like a stab through her. Promises are breaking her. And he saw it was indeed hurting her.
And this Macy continued to sob. "What's the problem, Mace? Please tell me." He pleaded only to find her bloodshot eyes look at him and shook his very core.
"I've been so cynical for so long that I can't… I-I… I don't know. I just don't know what matters anymore." He knows. She felt unloved and them going away only made her feel more unwanted than ever. He kissed the brunette's forehead. It pains her. It pains him.
And he almost whispers, "Love, Mace. Love."
A/N: I don't know what came over me when I wrote this. I'm not exactly happy with this but I guess I just wanted to do a little NACY reunion in a coffee shop. I was craving for coffee when I wrote this so please excuse the grammatical errors and typos. Seriously, when is Starbucks gonna open here in Iloilo? D: Reviews please? :) Oh, yeah, before I forget, feel free to PM me quotes.