Primeval 4x07

One-shot

Becker/Jess

First Kiss

Clenching one arm about her waist, Jess fought to catch her breath.

Glancing into the bathroom mirror, she grabbed a paper cloth from the dispenser on the wall and set about trying to clean up her face. It was easier said than done, due to the fact her hand was shaking like a leaf. She felt like such a fool standing in the ARC lavatory, in front of a row of sinks, sniffing and crying in the cold emptiness. The sound bounced off the white tiles, embarrassing her.

Why did she have to be such an emotional train wreck?

Her chin quivered, threatening fresh tears. She scrubbed at her cheeks, trying to erase the dark streaks from her running mascara. Her eyes were red and her face was warm. Salty teardrops had found their way down her neck, dampening her skin and causing it to itch.

Jess looked terrible and felt worse.

Another bout of anger and fear overwhelmed her. With a strangled scream of frustration she spun around, slamming her hands against a bathroom stall behind her. The impact caused her palms to sting and a dull pain to bloom in her wrist, but she didn't care. All she could think about was Becker.

The door to the ladies room swung open and an ARC tech walked in. Jess looked up quickly and the woman stopped short upon seeing her. At the moment, she didn't care who this person was, stranger or not, all she wanted was to be on her own.

"Go away!" Jess shouted hoarsely. Her hand still shaking, she pointed demandingly toward the exit. The pent-up emotion in her chest turned her blue eyes into dark pools of mixed anger. Her expression bordered on the violent, warning the woman against staying. With a mumbled apology the tech retreated, making a quick escape from the high-tension atmosphere.

When she was alone once more, Jess felt suddenly bad for having been so rude. Resting her forehead against the stall door, she let out a shaky breath in a futile attempt to calm herself. What she really wanted was to understand why she was behaving this way? Everything felt so confused and knotted inside. It made her head hurt.

Deep down Jess knew the answer. Every time she closed her eyes, she could see it plain as day. The image of Becker lying motionless on the floor, eyes closed and neck bent, had been burned into her mind from the moment she'd spotted him on her computer screen. Now, every time she thought of it, the same sickening feeling of fear she'd experienced then came rushing back to her, forcing her to tears.

When she'd first seen his prone form lying unresponsive in the corridor, Jess had thought he was dead. A revelation like that was enough to scare anybody, and she hadn't been able to stop herself from crying since. Even after she had found out he was still alive and fully conscious, she had remained quietly inconsolable, hiding herself away in the bathroom like a weepy little girl.

The truth was Jess wanted to see him. But she was doubtful she'd be able to control her emotions if she did. More importantly, she was afraid of what he might think if he saw her in this state. It wasn't like they were dating or married and hiding under the guise of friendship could only get you so far. He could never believe she would cry over Connor in the same way. So the real question was; would she be able to handle presenting her true feelings for him to his face? It would leave her completely vulnerable, that much was certain.

Hesitating, Jess stared at her puffy, haggard, reflection in the mirror. She weighed her thoughts carefully, and after a long indecisive silence, she set her jaw determinedly. Throwing the wad of crumpled paper she held on the floor, Jess made her decision.

I don't care what happens. I need to see him! She voiced inwardly, her stomach doing somersaults at the prospect of breaking down into tears in front of Captain Becker.

Becker winced as he tested his arms out slowly, moving each one seperately before shrugging his shoulders experimentally. Sitting bare-chested on the edge of the mattress belonging to a standard company bed, he let out a heavy sigh, ignoring the burning sensation covering ninety-percent of his body. He'd been shot with an EMD before and knew its effects, still he could help but feel appreciative of the pain. At least he knew he was alive.

So far everyone and their brother had come to visit him in his private room, everyone save for Connor and Jess, and he was beginning to feel quite loved. His quarters were part of the ARC living facilities meant for round the clock employees, or incase of emergencies. All the members of his head team had been bequeathed one as well. Matt had given his up for Emily Merchant, but from what he'd heard recently, that didn't seem to be an issue any more.

At that moment the door to his room burst open and a rather determined looking Jess Parker walked in. Becker stood to his feet in surprise, shaken from his thoughts.

"Oh! I'm sorry I should have knocked." She blushed, stopping short and taking a faltering step backward at the sight of him shirtless. He grabbed for a white tee at the end of his bed and slipped it over his head, cringing involuntarily with muscular pain.

"No it's fine." Becker reassured her once he'd reappeared through the v-neck, the action messing his hair. Rolling the rest of the clinging fabric down to the waist of his jeans, he watched her face carefully. Jess looked tired in the dim light of his room. Her eyes were watery and ringed with red. The realization she'd been crying struck him harder than he'd have liked.

Her gaze flickered demurely between him and the floor. She seemed worried he'd notice her tear stained cheeks if she looked at him too long.

"I didn't think you would be moving around so soon."

"The doc gave me something for the pain," Becker explained gently. "She told me I was free to go home and Matt offered to drive. Actually you caught me just in time, I was leaving soon."

Jess bit her lower lip before muttering a barely audible, "Oh…"

"Luckily Ethan, or rather Patrick, didn't know the EMD was on its lowest setting or I'd be dead right now." He said with a weak attempt at a smile.

The very thought forced Jess to jerk her head to the side, avoiding eye contact. She bit her lip again, harder, the skin going white. Fresh tears started to slip down her cheeks unbidden. Try as she might she couldn't stop them, and for an instant she didn't care. Glancing back with resolve, Jess twisted her fingers together against her stomach, her insides tight as a drum.

"I'm really glad you're okay." Her voice shook almost breaking.

Becker studied her, a strange look passing over his face. "Thank you Jess." He replied softly.

She laughed nervously, wiping her tears away hurriedly with the back of one hand. "You must think I'm ridiculous—"

"No, no I don't."

His response was so calm, so unhesitant; it took her completely off guard. Before Jess knew what was happening, Becker had closed the gap between them with three lengthy strides. She took a short breath, her heartbeat quickening, as he placed both of his strong hands on her quivering shoulders. The feeling of his fingers, pressing lightly against her bare skin, almost made her stop breathing for good.

"I could never think you're ridiculous, you're brilliant." He said looking down at her, his gentle eyes searching hers. Jess pressed her lips together to stop her chin from trembling, this time from pure happiness at his words. Becker let his left hand slide up her neck to brush a stray tear from her jaw with his thumb.

"And do you know what else?" He asked, a real smile forming on his mouth amid a dozen other emotions reflecting in his expression. Jess shook her head, her earrings swinging with the motion.

"What?" She asked when she found her voice.

Becker tipped forward slightly, lowering his face closer to hers. "I'm glad I'm okay too." He said humorously. Without waiting for a response he bent and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek.

Jess froze, afraid to move. Her eyelashes fluttered with astonishment at the sudden change in events. She didn't draw a proper breath until the pressure of his lips lightened. Pulling away, Becker let his hands trail down her arms, giving her the goosebumps. Reaching her palms he gave them an encouraging squeeze.

"And I'm glad you're okay too." He added. Brushing a stray wisp of copper hair from her forehead, he traced it back behind her ear, leaving it there.

"I'll see you tomorrow Jessica." Touching her chin briefly with a forefinger, he turned to leave, walking back to the bed and retrieving his black duffle bag before heading for the door.

"Bye Becker." Jess whispered, highly aware that he had used her full name affectionately for the first time. Still shocked by what had transpired, she remained standing in the same spot after he'd gone, her hand coming up to pat her tear dampened cheek. She felt dazed.

He kissed me… Jess thought in wonder.

Closing the door behind him, Becker paused for a moment in the empty corridor. He didn't know what had come over him in the room just then. Seeing Jess so distraught over the prospect of his death, had stirred something new in him –something which had always been there, but he had always been too busy to notice.

I kissed her. Becker marveled silently to himself. Sure it was simply a peck on the cheek, but it still counted.

One thing was certain; tomorrow when he came back to the ARC, he'd have the same old job, with today's problems, but Jess Parker would be different.

Becker had a feeling she would never be the same to him again.

A/N: They should have had Jess notice Becker was down. That's all that was wrong with the finale. Thanks again to everyone for reading/reviewing!