Author's Note: First fan-fic. Hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I own a lot of things. Like the Hunger Gams. Just not the Hunger Games.
When I wake up, the other side of the bed is radiating with heat. My fingers stretch out, seeking Rimpay's (Prim) warmth. Hitting right on target, I smile. Quickly and expertly, I push Rimpay out of the bed. Something cracks. Oh well. She was never useful anyways.
I prop up on one elbow. There's enough light in the bedroom to see my mother sleeping. I throw a rock that I always keep in my pocket. I miss, and it hits Rimpay instead. Something else cracks. Probably a rib. Ha-ha.
I start to get out of bed. But then I remember something, and turn upside down before getting out. He-he. I got out on the wrong side of the bed. Now I have an excuse to be in a bad mood all day. I take a single step before tripping over a yellow mat on the ground. I smile. That rug was something Rimpay brought home one day. Actually, when she brought it home, it was a cat. Then I strangled it, skinned it, and ate it. It tasted pretty good actually. Its fur was pretty soft too.
I finish my last couple of steps to my laid out clothes. Mom put them out yesterday. I've always wondered why she would take out clothes for me. After all, I only have one set of clothes.
Flashback
Mom walks up to me.
"Hi," I say
"Katniss, why are you wearing palm leaves instead of clothes?" my mom asks.
I smile. "Silly mom, I'm not-"then I look down. I'm wearing palm leaves. Even though we don't have palm trees in District 12. Oops.
End of Flashback
Oh right.
I quickly slip into my high heels and pull on a tuxedo. Then, I search Rimpay's limp body. I find a piece of tape. Score! Now I can stick Kick Me notes on people. Classic.
I walk out of the house and start to free run up the house. Climbing onto the roof, I run across people's homes, receiving curses from every one. Oh well. With great awesomeness comes with great need for being obnoxious. Finally, I reach the chain fence that marks the end of District 12. Taking a humongous chain-saw out of my microscopic pocket, I cut a hole in the fence. I do this every time I go to the woods. It feels more… right.
As soon as I'm in the trees I walk into a giant, conspicuous tower, which glows in the dark, and even has a big flashing board with an arrow pointed to it that says, "KATNISS' BOWS WHICH SHE USES TO HUNT AND KILL ILLEGALLY ARE RIGHT HERE. COME AND ARREST HER RIGHT NOW." There, screaming a song about how a girl named Katniss hunts illegally, I grab my bow and arrow. I climb down and wait for the only person with whom I can't be myself. Alegay walks to me with a piece of paper with punctured with a pencil and smiles.
"Hey Fatness," said Alegay (Gale). Fatness isn't my real name. It's really Katniss. It's just that when he first asked me for my name I screamed my name so loud, he thought I said Fatness. The nickname stuck.
"Look what I shot!" says Alegay. He holds up the piece of paper.
"Oooh. What did it cost you?" I asked.
"Just $500,000,000."
"Wow, that little?"
"Yeah, I know.
Seizing the chance, I punch Alegay in the face, knocking him out. Quickly, I grasp the paper and pencil.
Another successful mug. He-he. Bragging rights. I thought. I sat down and waited for Alegay to regain consciousness. Slowly, but surely, Alegay wakes up.
"What happened?" he asked.
"A giant airplane fell from the sky and blew up. Then, an ant kicked you unconscious. It had nothing to do with me punching you in the face and mugging you.
"Oh. Let's go fishing!"
"Ok." I get up slowly, and then head to the lake, making sure that Alegay is in front. Quietly, I write, Kick Me, on the piece of paper I stole from Alegay. Then, I stuck it on Alegay's back. Hehehe. I kick Alegay. He screams in pain.
"OWOWOWOW! Who did that?" He questions.
"I did. There's a sign on your back that says Kick me." I said.
Alegay looks on his back. "No, it says Kick Me. You lied to me!"
"What? How can you even tell that the me was lowercase?"
"How can you tell that the Me was uppercase?"
"Touché." We head to the lake. We catch fish using Alegay's butt as bait. It works really well.
Walking back to home, we sell all the fish we caught to other people. We sold sea bass, sand-dabs, and sting-ray. We head to the mayor's house. My father didn't teach me anything, so I tried to sell the mayor human flesh once. It didn't work out too well. Now I know to sell him human organs. We knock on the front door, and Mage (Madge (I got you this time :)) answers the door. She's wearing a pin that looks like a turd. My eyes blink in surprise. I. WANT. THAT. I'll guess I'll mug her later.
"Soooo. These are for your dad," Alegay says as he hands her a liver.
"Ok. Bye," Mage says. She slams the door in our faces.
WELL.
Alegay walks away as if nothing is wrong. I wait until he's out of sight. Then I kick down the door. The door hits something hard, and there's a loud crack. I open the door further and look inside. Apparently, Mage was standing inches away from the door when I opened it. Oh well. I grab the turd pin and walk away whistling.
Today is the reaping day for the Monopoly Games, so I have to get ready. The Monopoly Games are a fight to the death between 24 kids, two from each district, between the ages of 12 through 18. They're called the Monopoly Games because the makers felt like it. The reaping day is the day where people find out who are contesting.
When I get home, I take a bath. I haven't taken one in a long time. The warm water makes me want to fart. So, I fart. Bubbles slowly rise in the bathwater, and I giggle. After my bath, I take of my soaking clothes that I forgot to take off and pull on new clothes. I make Rimpay wear my old ones. Then, we head towards the town square.
Everyone in District 12 files in. Ffieay (Effie), the escort, Mayor Underpants (Mayor Underwoods), the mayor, and Aymitchhay (Haymitch) are all seated on a platform. The Mayor then stands up and says something how everyone is so ugly. Then he sits down. Ffieay replaces him.
"Ladies first!" she shouts. She then plunges her hand into the reaping ball to pick out a tribute, but it catches on fire. Taking a fire extinguisher, she tries to put out the flames, but it's too late. The slips are burnt to ashes. Ffieay just shrugs.
"Well, since the reaping ball just exploded, it looks like I'm just going to have to do E-NEE-MY-NEE-MO. So let's see," she says. "E-NEE-MY-NEE-MO. CATCH A TIGER BY THE TOE. IF IT HOLLERS LET IT GO. E-NEE-MY-NEE-MO. Rimpay Evergreen!"
"Haha!" I shout. "I called it! Hand over $20!" Rimpay looks disappointed, but she digs for the cash.
"Wait!" yells Ffieay. "I forgot to do, MY MOM SAYS YOU'RE THE VERY BEST AND IT IS YOU. Y-O-U. Katniss Evergreen!" Rimpay smiles and puts her money back. I sigh and hand over a twenty. Oh well. I probably won't be able to use it.
If you have read the above, press the button that's right…
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HERE!