If Rachel was being completely honest with herself she would say that she was stalling because she didn't let Quinn call the clinic until almost three days later and even after that she wouldn't let her schedule it for a few days after that. She needed time to processes what she was going to do, she needed time to be okay with it though she was pretty sure she never really would be okay with what she was going to do, it needed to be done though. What would having that mans baby do to her? How would she every survive it?

In the meantime Quinn was the perfect girlfriend, holding her hair back when she got sick, just holding her when things got to hard for her to control her emotions anymore. Which seemed to be happening a lot lately in the most inconvenient times, like in the middle of math class, or as soon as Quinn went to kiss her. Rachel hated it, Quinn hated it.

Rachel leaned against the door frame of her closet. What did one wear to get an abortion?

Quinn couldn't believe that she was here. She couldn't believe she was actually going through with this insanity. The idea of Rachel getting rid of the baby was sickening but so was the idea of Rachel having to carry it to term. No it wasn't the babies fault that what happened to Rachel happened but it did and she didn't deserve to go through anymore pain than she had already been through. She shouldn't have to carry the child of her attacker for another six months. If she did then she didn't need to go through having her child taken from her. She shouldn't know what it feels like to wonder everyday how she was.

That's how it had been for Quinn, everyday left her wondering how Beth was doing. Was the little girl walking yet? What were her first words and who did she look more like Quinn or Puck? Was her hair blonde or brown? Last month had been a year since her birth, Beth's birthday and despite everything that was going on Quinn didn't forget it. How could you forget the worst and yet the best day of your life? Under her bed lay a carefully wrapped hand crocheted blanket. One that she would never end up giving to her daughter but still it made her feel a little bit better.

Rachel leaning more heavily against her pulled her out of her thoughts, she wondered what was going through her girlfriends mind. Was she scared or having second thought or was she relieved about what she was about to do? Rachel stood up making Quinn grip her hand a little bit tighter. Rachel looked down at her with a smile.

"I'm okay. You can let go." Rachel whispered Quinn frowned but let Rachel's hand slip from her own.

Rachel walked over to the other side of the room and studied the posters that lined the wall, wondering why they would put the things up on the walls. Maybe to shame the women into not getting rid of there babies or to make them feel guilty when they do? When Rachel went for her first doctors appointment he told her she was about twelve weeks which they had already known but whatever. So she found the poster that told you what the fetal development was at 12 weeks.

By week twelve your child now has a chin, nose, and complete facial profile. Vocal cords are complete and the baby can and does cry silently, the baby's brain is fully formed and the baby can now feel pain.

Vocal Cords, the two words bounced around her mind as Rachel stood there stunned, this baby had vocal cords now. It could cry and possibly sing, maybe even on Broadway one day and it could feel pain, it had a face. This wasn't just some clump of cells that were invading her body this was a tiny little human one that she would be hurting if she did this. She would put a tiny baby through pain against it's will, kind of like how she had been.

She turned away from the wall and grabbed Quinn's hand without saying a word to her she yanked her girlfriend out through the clinic doors and into the chilly afternoon air. Just in time to hear her name being called.

"Rachel what the hell!" Quinn yelled in shock making Rachel abruptly drop her hand.

"Did you know that the baby had vocal cords Quinn? Did you know that? And fingers and toes." She started crying covering her mouth with her hand when she got control back over herself she continued. "And a face, I was standing there wondering what if my baby is on Broadway one day. Will it have my nose? Maybe my eye color, or my voice. It can feel pain Quinn, I was going to hurt my baby. I am a horrible person."

Quinn's gaze went from concerned to stern, she gently took her girlfriends face in her hands and kissed her lips. "You are not a horrible person, you were scared and hurt. You didn't chose this and no one blames you for not wanting to carry the baby to term."

Rachel shook her head, "I blame me Quinn." She whispered as she handed her girlfriend the keys and made her way over to Quinn's car. What else could she say? She did blame herself she hated that she even thought for a minute she could go through with it. Now what though? What was her path now? Before all this happened it was clear always had been. She felt so lost and confused.

"What are you going to do Rachel? Adoption?" Quinn asked running her fingers through the brunette's soft hair.

"What's it like for you? I mean I know how I feel being given up and all but how do you feel? What's it like for the mother?"

Quinn let out a sigh and kissed Rachel on the top of her head. She decided she would be honest because Rachel deserved the truth. "When they took her from me it was like they had… I don't know taken my arm from me or something. She was mine you know? I still feel those phantom pains like when her birthday came and I wasn't celebrating it with her, that hurt. But Puck and I we weren't emotional mature enough to be parents."

Rachel nodded in understanding, "What does it feel like for you?" Quinn asked

"At first it felt like she didn't love me enough to keep me and then it really felt like she didn't love me because of the way she treated me when we finally met."

It was Quinn's turn to nod silently in understanding wondering how it was possible that anyone could not love the girl beside her and also wondering if Beth would ever think of her like that?

"But I've talked to her a couple of times since all of this happened and it seems becoming a mother again has changed a lot about her, she wants to try to have a relationship with me again."

Well shit, what was Quinn going to do now?

A/N: Next chapter? A little Shelby/Rachel interaction maybe some Puck/Quinn/Bethness and also a good friendship puckelberryness :) Leave me reviews and let me know what you think about Quinn and Puck seeing their daughter again as well as Shelby seeing Rachel! Please I write you guys this nice little chapter write me a sentence? :)