Break You

Chapter 1

Heiwajima Shizuo was supposedly a brute. If one were to adopt the style of a self-help book, they would say, 'He did not control his anger, his anger controlled him'.

"You make it so obvious when you stare like that, Nene," said Kimi, dropping into the seat beside her on the stands. "Close your mouth."

"What?" said Nene, eyes on the young man throwing a baseball at another student's head. "Huh? Shut up."

"There's drool on your chin."

Nene turned and saddled the bench, staring at Kimi's bag. Kimi shot her a tired glare before reaching into it and taking out a plastic box.

"Here," she said, flinging it into Nene's lap. "Don't complain if you don't like it."

"You didn't make it, did you?" Nene asked as she lifted the box into the air and scrutinised it against the light.

"Of course not," said Kimi, turning up her nose. "I had Okaa-san order it from that new bakery and it came fresh this morning, so you better appreciate it."

Half the cake disappeared into Nene's mouth in one bite.

"Yrrnurfadmud?" At Kimi's look of disgust, she swallowed quickly. "I said, are you in a bad mood?"

"I just got off the phone with Otou-san. He's threatening to cut my allowance."

"He can't do that."

"You're worried about where you're going to live, aren't you?"

"Yes."

Before Nene could react, Kimi reached out, plucked the remaining bit of cake from her hand and shoved it into her mouth. A smug grin extended over her inflated face.

"I hope you choke," Nene said darkly.

"But then where would you live?"

Nene grinned.

Ten years they had been friends. Ten years and Nene could safely say she knew everything about Toyoshima Kimi. Headstrong and pig-headed to a fault, Kimi wasn't an easy force to be reckoned, and being the heiress to a multi-million-dollar company didn't exactly leave much room for insecurities and likewise those with insecurities had little room for her. The attitude could get tiresome, Nene could admit, but then she wasn't entirely blameless when it came to Kimi's behaviour. Being one of the only people in the world whose opinion actually mattered to her, Nene should have intervened, or at least tried to help, but during an argument between Kimi and the rest of the world, you'd likely find a Nene shaped hole in the wall.

"You're spacing out again," said Kimi, slamming her locker shut at the end of the school day.

"I was thinking about how you're probably going to get us killed one day," Nene said wistfully.

"You set the kitchen on fire last week."

"The oven claimed it was indestructible," said Nene, looking up at the ceiling. There was a sizeable hole showing through to the science room above. Must have been from the other week when Shizuo threw a desk through two floors.

"Oh, so you weren't trying to bake Heiwajima cookies?" asked Kimi, one hand pressed against the lockers.

"I was testing it," Nene said vaguely.

"Last year, you baked him cookies."

"I've told you a thousand times, it was his birthday and I thought it would be a nice gesture since-"

"Whatever. I'm not judging. The heart wants what the heart wants."

"The heart wants you to be quiet."

"Maybe this year you'll actually make eye contact with him," said Kimi. "And then he'll punch you."

"It's funny that you don't like him when you're both so alike," said Nene. "I mean the whole school is terrified of the both of you."

"And in ten years," Kimi continued, like she hadn't heard her, "you'll open your mouth in front of him and actual words might come out."

"Yeah," said Nene. "Sure."

All her life, Nene had been under the distinct impression that people used idle chitchat to get over the figurative hump of the first meeting. Shizuo had not. Often, his method involved beating the new acquaintance into a bloody pulp. Said new acquaintance was usually a rival gang member so it probably didn't apply to Nene, but better safe than sorry.

"So what time does your weird little club convene?" asked Kimi, hitching her bag up on her shoulder.

"Fifteen minutes. And it's not weird," said Nene.

After the collapse of the Bird Watcher's Society, fellow bird watching partner and resident hippy Shin had recruited Nene for the Raijin Philosophers club. She figured it couldn't hurt, although Shin had recently started turning up late smelling strongly of incense and other, less legal aromas.

"See you at home then," said Kimi, walking off.

"You're not even going to wait?" called Nene.

"Better things to do with my time," she called as she disappeared round the corner.

Nene wondered if she should head to the club or wait for Shin, who was probably getting high behind a dumpster somewhere, when a loud crash shook the building. She waited for the second crash before tentatively slipping into the walkway and heading towards where she thought the sound had come from. She already had an idea of what it was.

"I-ZAY-A!"

Poking her head out at the end of the walkway, Nene first caught sight of Heiwajima Shizuo standing on the far side of the sports field, his arms raised high above his head, a mangled goal post in his hands. And then she saw who was in front of her: Orihara Izaya handling a flickbade with frightening delicacy.

They appeared not to have noticed her yet and she swallowed. Seeing what they'd already done to the sports field, Nene guessed that she too would be counted as collateral damage if she didn't get out of there quickly. Except, she couldn't bring herself to move. Kimi had always said that it couldn't just be curiosity drawing Nene to Shizuo and she was beginning to think that she might be right. When she thought about it, he was quite good-looking, handsome even. Very handsome. God, she hoped that she wasn't drooling.

"Shizu-chan," said Izaya, "If you throw that now, you might end up hitting poor Nene-chan."

So he had seen her.

Shizuo's glare moved from Izaya to the girl behind him with a bright red face and he twitched. Excellent. Her first impression on the person she had been staring at for over a year would be that of a hindrance. She wanted to die. Well, at the rate things were going she was about to get her wish.

Izaya had begun to inch backwards and with a sinking feeling she realised what he was about to do.

"Byebye, Shizu-chan!" he shouted, grabbing her hand and running back into the building.

As she was being hauled down the walkway, Nene heard what she could only assume was the crash of the goal post followed by a tremendous roar and a lump developed in her throat.

At a safe distance, Izaya came to a stop and released her hand. There was a sheen of sweat over his face suggesting that he'd been locked in the fight with Shizuo for a while and though he tried to hide it, it was clear he was checking over his shoulder.

"Thanks a bunch, Nene-chan," he said, opening the door leading to the roof and disappearing into the stairwell.

She snorted, already walking in the direction of the club. "Always happy to be used as a human shield for my upperclassman," she muttered to herself.

A hand grabbed the door to the roof before it could close, and she stilled. Izaya poked his head out expectantly.

"Hmm. Did you say something?"

"Sorry," said Nene, giving him a stiff smile. "I was just talking to myself."

"Sounded to me like you were accusing me of using you as a human shield?"

Excellent. A confrontation with Orihara Izaya of all people. A little ambitious for someone who dove into lockers every time she saw her gym teacher coming.

"You know, Nene-chan, I really was looking out for you," said Izaya. "If I hadn't told Shizuo you were there, he would have thrown the goal post and then both of us would have been crushed."

He had a strange way of putting things that made his argument seem perfectly logical, and if she hadn't been so accustomed to using base manipulation to get her way with Kimi, she might have found herself nodding along.

"I could have run away after you let him know I was there," said Nene.

"But then I would have been crushed," said Izaya, eyes widening.

Nene couldn't help the frown. "Right."

"Great," said Izaya brightly. "Well bye-bye, Nene-chan. Until next time!"

And if she had left it there, as he was sliding back into the darkness of the stairwell, if she had just kept walking and gone to her philosophy club and put it down to just another strange interaction with one of the many oddities Raijin had to offer, if she had just kept her damn mouth shut-

"Why Heiwajima-senpai anyway?"

It looked to Nene like Izaya had frozen but when he turned to look at her there was a blank look on his face.

"I could say it's because it's interesting, but really I just hate the guy," said Izaya, watching her carefully for a reaction.

"Are you jealous of him?" she asked.

There was an awkward pause.

"Jealous?" Izaya asked, sliding out of the doorway completely and moving far too deeply into her personal space. "Aren't you being a bit judgemental? This is the first time you've talked to me."

"Am I? I thought I was being astute."

"My, my, aren't we quick," said Izaya, smiling.

Izaya was notorious for wheedling his way into people's heads for whatever malignant purpose and contrary to the evidence, Nene wasn't a complete fool.

"I need to go. I have a club," said Nene, inching backwards. "Goodbye, Orihara-senpai."

"Oh? Which club?"

"…Philosophy."

"Ah that sounds cool. I think I'll join you," said Izaya, gleefully clapping his hands together.

Had she imagined the smile? The one that looked painted on. Then she realised what he was saying, and her stomach fell through the floor.

"Lead the way, Nene-chan."

When the club ended, Izaya, who had spent most of the session demanding to know what B-standard website had qualified her to make such 'astute' judgements on people she'd just met, insisted on walking her home to continue the conversation. At first, Nene had tried to ignore him, but he worded things in such an unusually jarring way that she found herself responding to him out of fear that not responding to him would lead to stranger conclusions. It would have been easy to slip up and tell him everything about herself but even with his practiced use of double speak she was able to guard herself against too deep a scrutiny. It wasn't because she was a particularly private person, but she had heard all the rumours about Izaya's little cult. To those who knew him best, or worst depending on how you saw it, Orihara Izaya was a puppet master, the kind that used nerve cells as strings, sculpting pliable naiveté into flesh marionettes. Nene was averse to joining the ranks.

"So, how have you been getting along at Raijin?" Izaya asked as they walked out of the school gates. "Are there any boys Nene-chan has her eyes on?"

"Why are you suddenly so interested in my love life after all this time?" said Nene. "Or me for that matter?"

"I've never had the chance to speak to Nene-chan before," said Izaya. There was that unsettling smile again. "I'm taking advantage."

"You're right. We should talk. Let's talk about you."

Izaya's smile faded. "And what do you want to talk about?"

"Do you have any siblings?" she asked.

It was one of those nice, idle chitchat questions that attached little commitment. She had a theory. She believed that Izaya was Shizuo's polar opposite. His was a mind made up of intricate passageways, trick mirrors and trap doors and lastly, in the furthest reaches guarded by a cast-iron door, his Bloody Chamber. But unlike Shizuo, Izaya wasn't that rare a specimen. Nene knew that people, by nature, were manipulative, two-faced and self-serving, and Izaya was no different. He just had a head start on the others because he had long since accepted that part of himself. No, he didn't just accept it. He leaned into it. It was his vocation and that made him dangerous.

"Two younger sisters," said Izaya. There was no trace of brotherly affection in his voice.

"You don't like your sisters?"

"There's that astute judgement again," said Izaya, adding after a moment's thought, "They're irritating."

"So does that mean you failed as a brother?" Nene saw the way Izaya's eyes widened if just a fraction and continued. "If it makes you feel any better, they probably hate you just as much."

"No doubt they do."

"You hate your sisters, you hate Shizuo… Is there anything you actually like?" asked Nene.

"Humans," said Izaya. "But I guess that's what I love really."

"Humans?" repeated Nene. "Are you trying to say you're not human?

"What if I'm not."

They stopped in the middle of the street. She had no idea where Izaya was going with this, but she knew that she preferred his false smile to the look of concentration he had fixed her with. It dissolved everyone around them until they were the only two people in the world.

"You are human," said Nene. She was used to dealing with egomaniacs, but this was new.

"That's an assumption," he said. He seemed disappointed by her response. The world swam back into focus.

"Being a sociopath doesn't mean you're not human," said Nene. "It just means you're broken."

No matter how hard she sucked her breath in, the words just stayed where they were, hanging between them. Maybe Kimi wasn't the only one who liked being right all the time.

"A sociopath," cried Izaya, putting his hand on his chest. "That's hurtful Nene-chan."

The realisation that she had just done the equivalent of tying herself up and hopping into the serial killer's van dawned.

"You know, I should probably go-"

"A sociopath who's jealous of Shizu-chan. Tell me, do I also want to kill my father and have sex with my mother?"

"I didn't mean to offend-"

"I'm kidding of course," said Izaya, waving it off.

Nene glanced around hurriedly for witnesses. Thankfully, they were in a busy street, but she wouldn't put it passed him to stab her discretely.

"Well, it was nice talking to you, Orihara-senpai-"

"Please, Izaya."

"Izaya-san. I think I can walk the rest of the way home by myself," she said, and in a moment of blind stupidity, extended her hand.

Izaya yanked her forward so that their fronts were touching and grabbed her other arm. It wasn't so much tight as it was firm.

"Don't tell me Nene-chan is scared of me?" he said against her ear, his voice low.

A couple of years ago, when Nene and Kimi had first come to Ikebukuro a couple of local gang members cornered them in an alleyway and would have mugged them had it not been for the heroic intervention of a local restaurant owner. The experience had given Nene a revelation of sorts. She was weak. This didn't sit well with Nene, who had spent the next three days curled in her bed trying to escape intense feeling of panic and the memory of dark spaces in narrow cupboards. She couldn't fathom ever having to feel trapped like that again. So when Izaya grabbed her, she reacted. It was automatic. Instinctual. And the years of self-defence classes that had followed the incident finally proved their worth.

She kneed him in the stomach. He buckled to his knees.

Nene didn't wait to see how he would react. Nene ran.

"Oh… wow… did you see that? I mean she had the element of surprise, but wow!" Shinra asked, adjusting his glasses. "I guess Izaya will think twice the next time he accosts a seemingly defenceless girl, huh? Though to be honest, one knee in the stomach probably won't reverse years of having such a horrible personality."

Shizuo released the iron guardrail he had uprooted from the sidewalk. There was no need for it now.

"Pretty impressive," said Shinra, "but you would know more about that than I would, huh?"

"It was okay," said Shizuo. "Amateur technique."

"I wouldn't want to be Akiyama-san right now," said Shinra, sighing. "I can only imagine what twisted revenge he'll think up for her. I hope she doesn't have any pets. Ah Shizuo-kun, where are you going?"

Shizuo was already halfway down the street before Shinra had noticed.

"Don't you have a heart?" Shinra asked, catching up to him.

Shizuo stretched his hand towards Shinra. "I could show you yours."

"Ahah, forgive me."

Author's Note:

03/01/2015 Chapter has been rewritten. No major changes.

Hey, I feel oddly fail for posting up this random Fan-fiction, but if any of my regular readers are reading this then you'll all know that if I get into anything I need to write a Fan-fiction about it so I can get over it. It's sort of cathartic you might say. And lo and behold, I have recently become obsessed with Durarara and have decided to riddle you with more cathartic crap. I also feel a bit silly for doing this since my A2 exams are in a couple of days and I've basically spent study leave obsessing over Durarara... sad times my friends. At the end of the day, I wrote this for fun because I enjoy experimenting with interactions between awkward characters and such, and I hope whoever reads this enjoys it too :)