Author's note: I've always loved Sano and Megumi as a couple. However, recently I have run into some Aoshi/Megumi pairings that are quite nice too, so this little fanfic is two-part: one M/S and one M/A. When the M/A is posted, I will put a poll on my page and have you all vote as to which one you think is better. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Dying light streaked across the floor of the clinic as I leaned back on my heels with a sigh, feeling the tension and stress of the day rising up in my shoulders. Morning to late afternoon had been a blur of patients: colds, fevers, two broken bones, a very pregnant mother in for a checkup, and an artisan who had managed to cut almost all the way through one of his fingers while working on a commission. My hair was tousled damply around my shoulders, and I felt the beginnings of a headache prick at the back of my neck. Thankfully, my last patient had just left the building, clutching a paper package of medication I had made for her, and the clinic was quiet.
Breathing in deeply, I closed my eyes, glad for the stillness but my gratefulness quickly faded as the silence slowly grew louder. Sighing, I felt the familiar weight of loneliness creep over me as it did every time I was alone with my thoughts. As hard and demanding as my work was and as much as I was glad when a lull in patients gave me a reprieve, lack of activity only made it more obvious how very much alone I was. For too many months to count had I been unable to stand solitude for very long without feeling the gnawing weight of loneliness and isolation creep up on me.
Outside the clinic, I heard the sound of little ones playing and my heart sank in me. At 26, I was painfully aware that my chances of having children were slipping away; already the villagers considered me the spinster doctor and no busybody elderly neighbor had nudged me and said, "So, when are you getting married?" for a long time. The answer was beginning to become self-explanatory: I likely wasn't.
I hadn't planned on it being this way, but then again, my life had never been anything I had expected. I hadn't anticipated my father dying and my family disappearing in the Boshin wars and for me never to find any trace of them again. I had not foreseen that I would be trapped in a web of deceit and forced to make deadly drugs to fatten Kangaroo's pockets, killing people when I had sworn as a doctor to save them. I had certainly not expected to spend the rest of my days childless and alone. But fate had thrown these circumstances at me and there was nothing I could do but bear up under them and try to seek atonement through my work as a doctor for the forced crimes of my youth.
Perhaps it was in punishment for the sins of my past that I remained unmarried and childless, but I knew that opportunities to remedy both situations had presented themselves. There had been men in the village who had tried to court me, but I could not bring myself to return any of their attentions: for too many years, my heart had been consumed with longing for someone else. When I had first flung myself desperately at Kenshin after running frantically from the Oniwaba, I was only thinking of my own safety and was willing to seek protection from just about anyone who would offer it, regardless of the price. However, Kenshin's bravery and determination to free me from Kanryu's clutches had won me over easily and love had quickly followed. Over the next few years, I watched with desperation and deep sorrow as Kenshin gently resisted my efforts to worm my way into his heart and instead gave his affections to Kaoru, married her, and fathered her child.
I had poured my grief and frustration into my work and had insisted on caring for Kaoru during her pregnancy and childbirth, determined that the wife and son of the man I loved would be healthy and strong for his sake. I also cared for Kenshin himself, tending old wounds and injuries, and thankful for whatever brief opportunities I had to minister to him and touch the body of the one I love so much. But time had brought healing, and gradually my passion for Kenshin faded to warm friendship and only occasional moments where I succumbed to sadness over what could have been. I was a regular visitor at his and Kaoru's house and was thankful that I could be at least somewhat part of his life. But for too long desire for Kenshin had consumed my heart, leaving no room for another man.
Except perhaps one, but even thinking about him drew a fiery blush into my cheeks as a tremble of indignation and protest rose up in me. My mind, independent of my will, drew up a mental image of him: tall, broad-shouldered, a head of spiky hair flapping in the wind, hands shoved casually in his pockets, a cocky grin on his face.
Sano. Impatiently, I rose to my feet and marched over to a table to begin putting away my medical supplies, but my mind would not let go of memories. Sano fighting Shikijo to defend me from being re-kidnapped by Kanryu again. Sano stopping me from committing suicide by grasping the bare blade of my tanto in his hands, ignoring his blood dripping down his arm as he berated me for trying to end my life after he and Kenshin had worked so hard to save it. Sano tussling with Yahiko, flirting mildly with Tae in attempts to skip out on paying his bill yet again. Sano sheepishly showing me his ruined hand, expecting me to repair the damage after I had warned him repeatedly to stop performing his Futae no Kiwami if he wanted to have use of that hand again.
In the moments when I was honest with myself, I admitted that I had also been attracted to Sano from the beginning. However, unlike the concern and courtesy Kenshin had showed me at our first meeting, Sano had mistrusted me. It was he who discovered that I carried packages of Spider's Web and when he found out I was the creator of the substance that had killed one of his friends, his anger was great. I was fairly certain that had not Kenshin taken an interest in my safety, Sano would not have lifted a finger to help save me from Kanryu. But he accepted my protests that I had been forced to make the opium and forgave me with a generosity I did not expect from the rough brawler. However, his was a very different friendship than Kenshin's: while Kenshin displayed nothing but the utmost respect and kindness in my presence, Sano seemed determined to provoke and tease me at every opportunity. With most men I could hold my temper, but Sano knew just how to make me bluster and fuss, and he usually laughed at me as I did so.
Angrily pulling a table drawer open, I rustled through it louder than needed as I thought of how irritating the foolish rooster-head had been. However, as much as Sano provoked me, he also intrigued me and rarely had I seen him that a flutter of attraction hadn't crept its way up my spine. If Sano had been a slightly different man, I think I would have been in deep danger of falling in love with him too, maybe even more than I had with Kenshin. But for all Sano's rough charms and devilish streak, he was a lazy wastrel and I had no intention of whatever little money I collected from my poor patients going into his empty pockets only to be spent on booze and gambling. It was that realization which had kept my heart relatively safe from his influence and our relationship at simply a flirtatious one. When Sano left for his travels five years ago, I had heard nothing from him aside from the letters he occasionally sent to everyone via Kenshin and Kaoru's house. At times, I missed him but he was far out of reach, in Mongolia from the last I heard, and I did not expect to see him again for a long time, perhaps never.
With much effort, I forced my mind away from recollections of the past and towards the next day: I knew that two patients would be back and it was possible that one or two expectant mothers would go into labor tonight, so I decided it was time to shut down so that I could get some rest. I had just straightened up the room to perfection and was untying the apron protecting my clothes when suddenly a deep, masculine voice rang out, "Hey, is there a doctor here who could look at this hand of mine?" in tones that were wonderfully familiar.
Turning in astonishment, I saw that Sanosuke Sagara himself was standing on my doorstep, leaning against the frame, same cock-sure smile plastered across his face. Heat suddenly flooded my cheeks as my heart gasped and began beating frantically. I almost tripped in my haste to rise to my feet and rush over to him. "Sano!" I cried out, "You're back from your travels!"
"Hey there, Fox Lady," he grinned at me. "Yup, just got back. I swung past Kenshin and Kaoru's, visited Tae at the akabeko, and decided to check in on you to see about this hand of mine. Want to take a look?"
I shot a suspicious glance at the massive paws crossed over Sano's chest. "What have you been doing this time, you idiot?" I snapped out, but my words seemed halted as if they were having trouble making themselves known and my tongue felt strangely clumsy.
"Traveling," Sano replied with that infuriatingly smug expression.
"Well, sit down and let me see your hand," I blustered, surprisingly myself. What was I suddenly so nervous about? As I picked up Sano's gigantic hand, I was irritated to find that my own hands were trembling slightly and had turned cold. Trying to cover up my emotions, I forced harshness into my voice. "How many times have you done your Futae no Kiwami even after I told you not to?" I demanded.
His answer surprised me. "Hmm, not too sure but it's been awhile," he responded, his brow wrinkling in what looked like genuine puzzlement. Examining his hand closely, I suspected that he was telling the truth. The knuckles were badly callused and the fingers warped in a way that said the entire hand had undergone massive damage a long time ago but there were no fresh wounds. I manipulated his hand and was surprised to see how much flexibility and strength was in it. By all rights, Sano's hand should have been crippled and useless, but it was clear he had recovered much of his old power and fluidity.
Dropping his hand abruptly, I rolled up to my feet, still feeling strange tremors affecting my movements. "Well, my professional diagnosis is that you'll live but if you use that hand again for the Futae no Kiwami, as your doctor I will have no choice but to cut it off to prevent you from doing it again." Sano laughed and rose to his feet. As his knees straighten, I realized that he had grown a few inches in height and even more in bulk. When he had left Japan, he had been tall and muscular but with a long, rangy sort of frame. The five years away had added more muscles and width, and his built now reminded me somewhat of Kenshin's old master Seijuro whom I had met once. Sano's face had changed too; it was deeply tanned from his travels and contained the angles and planes of a mature man and less of the boyish charm he had possessed before.
Realizing I was staring at him, I quickly averted my eyes and went to the table to straighten a few items that did not need straightening. "Well, I suppose you have a lot of old friends to look up in town," I said to the table, keeping my eyes fastened on my hands.
"Eventually," Sano rumbled in response. "First I plan on taking a certain Fox Lady to dinner if she's free."
Snorting, I turned to give him a sarcastic look, "Sure you are, with my money."
Sano jingled a pocket significantly, and I was astonished to hear the rattle of coins in it. "Guess again, Doc, this one's on me."
Putting a hand dramatically over my heart, I swooned, "By my very life, Sanosuke Sagara has money in his pocket and he's not heading directly to the gambling dens. What is this world coming to?"
Sano laughed. "I've been away for awhile, Megumi. I mended some of my ways in the meantime."
"I'll believe that when I see it," I grumbled, but followed him out into the street. Dusk was almost over but a few streaks of light still showed, and the setting sun was beautiful. To my astonishment, Sano tucked my arm in his and we set off towards the akabeko. The biceps under my fingers were hard and standing close to him, I was uncomfortably aware of the masculine scent and aura of strength about his body. His proximity set my heart dancing so loudly that I was afraid he would hear it. But Sano merely launched into a story about his travels so that by the time we entered the akabeko we both were rolling with laughter.
Tae swooped down on us with an enthusiasm that astonished me, considering the size of the tab Sano had left behind him. We were soon seated at the best table and Tae and Tsubame plyed us with food and tea. Another patron in the restaurant, one of Sano's old friends, immediately spotted us and came galloping over. Throughout the meal, we were regularly interrupted by one or several of Sano's friends and our doting waitresses, but I didn't mind: I was afraid that I was going to make a fool out of myself in front of Sano, and I was grateful for the interruptions as they gave me time to rein in my emotions and try to cool the blush that threatened to constantly rise up in my cheeks.
The interruptions also allowed me a chance to observe Sano more closely, and I saw that he had indeed changed and not just in appearance. The Sano beforehand had adopted a constant slouch, a casual way of walking and standing that went with his careless attitude, and he tended to sprawl when he sat. But the man sitting across from me kept his back straight and his shoulders held up and proud with limbs tidy in their positioning. His movements reminded me somewhat of how Kenshin held himself: constantly poised and controlled with every gesture and step deliberate. Even something as simple as picking up a cup of tea or turning to look at a friend had a coiled, exact precision about it. But even more so, I saw that the cocky, almost arrogant strut and posturing of Sano's had largely disappeared and had been replaced by genuine confidence in his gait and movements, a quietness of presence that spoke volumes.
But he was still Sano, and the cockiness had not completely left his smile nor his voice. I watched him tease Tae and Tsubame, affectionately rub his knuckles through an old friend's hair, playfully insult another friend, and generally provoke and torment everyone who came within five feet of our table. However, despite the stream of well-wishers and old friends flocking to our table, Sano's eyes kept turning to me and he occasionally shooed guests away when they began to overstay their welcome. Finally the dinner traffic slowed and we were less interrupted. Sano soon had me in stitches over his travel adventures and it was clear from his stories that his tendencies to get himself into avoidable scrapes had not disappeared. Hours winged by like minutes, and soon Tae and Tsubame were cleaning the restaurant up in a way that told us they were closing down. To my astonishment, Sano paid the bill without a quibble and we were soon walking out in the street talking and laughing.
We lingered on my front doorstep and for one heart-stopping minute, I actually though Sano was going to try to kiss me, but he merely smiled that crooked smile of his and said, "Well, Doc, I know you have a lot of patients tomorrow, so I'd better let you get to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow, Megumi." Turning, he made his way back down the street. As I watched, I realized that in the darkness of the night, he looked like a different man. His back was straight and true with his shoulders held at a watchful angle and his hands loose and fluid at his side, not shoved in his pockets. I watched until he disappeared from view and went inside, a tad flustered and baffled but happier than I had been in a long time.
Over the next few weeks, it became clear that Sano was planning on staying in Tokyo for some time. It also became clear that the Sano who had returned to us was a different man. Instead of hanging around the dojo and mooching off Kenshin and Kaoru, he rented a place not too far from all of us and began helping his friend Katsu with the magazine he ran. Sano wasn't much for the written word, but he was quite good at finding information and although he was soon frequenting his old haunts at the gambling dens and shady bars, I had it on good authority that these trips were largely business-related as he served as somewhat of an undercover reporter during these occasions. While Sano still showed a tendency to be a freeloader if the opportunity presented itself, he was apparently making money and not letting it all run through his fingers. Tae told me later that one of his first acts of business in town had been to visit the akabeko and pay back his tab "with interest" he had said with a wink. He had even shown up once or twice at Kenshin and Kaoru's with food as opposed to expecting to be fed once he got there.
I noted these changes, carefully observing the person who was at once so familiar and yet so novel. A few weeks after Sano had returned, he and I were walking in the cool of the evening when five young brawlers accosted us, taunting Sano and trying to egg him into fighting them. The old Sano would have thrown himself at the men with eagerness and not stopped until there were five groaning bodies in need of my ministrations. The man at my side merely fixed the ruffians with a look of withering contempt and rumbled, "Morons, it's a beautiful night, I'm with a gorgeous woman, and you're ruining it, so scram. I've got better things to do with my time." Even in the darkness of the evening, the power in his voice and the strength of his shoulders was unmistakably evident; the five hoodlums broke into a collective laugh edged with nervousness then backed away with a few snorts of bravado, disappearing into the shadows.
"Idiots," Sano sniffed in disgust.
"Hmph, well I knew an idiot five years ago who would have gladly taken them up on their offer," I shot back.
Sano merely laughed and patted my hand on his arm. "Yeah, well, I realized awhile ago that if I was going to become stronger than Saito, it wasn't just about fighting strength. That Saito's one cool bastard, and you know, I've never seen him lose his temper or let his emotions get the better of him. Even when we were fighting Shishio, you'd think it was just another routine day for him, never let it phase him." Sano shook his head in remembrance. "Even when the place blew the hell apart, Saito just waltzed through it was like it was nothing," he reminisced with no small trace of admiration in his voice.
I hid a smile. Sano had blustered and railed against Saito with a passion that evidenced his grudging admiration for the man, and I had detected a tiny trace of extremely reluctant hero worship buried in there somewhere. However, it seemed as if the passing years had eroded Sano's dislike of the man but had left behind the respect and that hatred had turned to good-natured rivalry. In fact, Kaoru had told me that Sano had actually shown up at the police station to make his return know to Saito, and seeing as he had walked away unarrested and unwounded, it was evident that the meeting had not gone too terribly badly. Apparently the new Sano had decided to not only bury the hatchet with his old enemy but adopt some of his attitudes and habits. Sano clearly had gained a much stronger hold over his quick temper and was no longer in the habit of prowling the streets looking for new noses to break.
Instead, he became a regular visitor at the clinic, stopping by almost every day. He often escorted me to emergencies, and I had standing orders to call on him if I needed to attend a late-night patient. "I can't let a fox like you walk the streets alone at night," he had told me with a roguish wink, and I was glad to comply, thankful that I did not have to do so. Word soon got around that Sano was often at the clinic, and I noticed an increase in the number of young, twittering girls showing up on my doorstep complaining vaguely of various stomachaches, headaches, and colds. My universal cure was to send each girl out the door with a particular concoction I had made, a powder that became a vile draught when placed in water, however, that didn't seem to lessen their visits, especially when Sano was there and especially when he was working with patients. Since he was hanging around so much, I had taken to setting him small tasks, and it became quickly apparent that he had picked up some medical training during his travels. He easily became a favorite with all the women from the little ones up to the grandmothers who delighted in flirting with him.
In truth, Sano was sometimes more of a nuisance in the clinic than anything else, what with the flood of swooning young girls tripping in and out, the meals I felt obliged to give him in return for his services, and the irritating factor that just his mere presence was often enough to set my hands trembling slightly and my mind go temporarily blank. But I did not think that I could have successfully deterred him from visiting since he just simply waltzed in and out as if he owned the place and even if he was a bit of an annoyance at time and emptied my cupboards faster than I could fill them, I was aware that I had not laughed as freely and frequently in a very long time and my heart was lighter than it had been since I was a young girl.
But I was uncertain and troubled as to exactly why Sano kept showing up at my clinic day after day. Although I knew my stomach turned flip-flops and my heart beat frantically every time I saw him, I had no inkling if Sano himself felt the same way. Aside from placing my arm through his when we were out walking, he made no other move to touch me and our conversations were a mix of teasing, taunting, squabbling, laughing, and reminiscing, not the intimate, serious discussions that men usually have with the women they care for romantically. Sano provoked and befuddled me, drove me insane with confusion, and plagued the life and soul out of me, but I was rapidly discovering that he was fast becoming the sun that my world revolved around, bringing life and color and warmth into the cold sorrow of my soul. As the spring weather ripened to the fullness of early summer and the fields became heavy with crops and bursting with life, so my heart awakened to warmth and beauty and had born fruit. I felt rich with a strange joy, filled with a generosity and kindness that I had not known before and prone to singing and laughing at the oddest intervals.
However, fear and caution would not lessen their hold on my reason: I held part of myself back and tried to remain aloof and careful, knowing full well that Kenshin had also awoken similar feelings in my heart without intending to do so, and I had no wish of flinging myself into another unrequited love affair. But this was different: Kenshin had never sought my company with the assiduousness that Sano did and I had spent very little time along with the redhaired samurai whereas Sano and I were routinely spending a part of each day together. But my heart had become too accustomed to disappointment and sorrow to love freely without a guarantee of it being returned, so I hid behind sarcasm and verbal baiting, all the while longing to let the mask fall and be as a woman is with the man she loves.
The summer days were passing golden and heavy when Sano failed to visit the clinic for a few days. I tried to hide my disappointment and keep busy with my patients, telling myself that Sano had enough work with Katsu's paper to be constantly hanging around the clinic and that I couldn't expect him to spend all his time escorting me to patients' houses and bandaging wounds. But on the third day, I was beginning to worry that he had simply decided that there were other things, or even worse other women, to occupy his time with and he would quickly become a stranger. However, my fears were short-lived; on the third day as a glorious sun was just touching down on the horizon, Sano appeared in my door with that wonderfully familiar crooked smile on his face.
"Hey there, Megumi, got something to show you. Come with me," he beckoned.
Flushing a little, I quickly placed my instruments in order and followed him out the door. As his custom, he tucked my hand in the crook of his arm, and I flattered myself by imagining that there was something proprietorial about the gesture. "What have you been up to lately?" I questioned, forcing casualness in my voice, not wishing him to know how much I had missed him.
"Had a few things to take care of," he responded easily. "How have things at the clinic been? Quiet without me?"
I snorted, feeling my lips tremble with suppressed emotion. "Yes, I finally could get something done without this big lout in my way getting underfoot and eating all my food."
"Aww, that's sweet, you missed me," Sano grinned.
"Yes, but this time I think my aim has improved some," I snapped back and we continued along the way teasing and joking. So intent was I on him that I didn't realize we were on the edge of town until Sano stopped on the bridge and pointed at a house on the other side of the river. It was a solid, comfortable-looking place surrounded by a few sturdy trees and a carpet of green grass. While it did look a tad shabby as if the house and land had gone untended for awhile, I could see that with proper care, it would be quite nice.
Sano observed it critically and commented, "I'm thinking of buying the place. It needs some work but the owner is asking a decent price for it and I think I could make something out of it."
I looked up at him with curiosity and surprise. Sano, a respectable land owner? I was puzzled as to why he was considering it but his next words shocked me.
"It'd be a nice place for kids, you know? Lots of space, big enough house, and a garden."
My heart gave a tremendous jump as coldness shivered across my palms and my stomach turned somersaults. Was he serious? Did he mean...?
An arm suddenly wrapped itself around my shoulders and pulled me into him. Surprised, I looked up at Sano, but he kept his gaze forward as if his arm had moved independently and he was not aware of it. In that same casual tone, he continued,"Good place for a medical clinic too, lots of space, near to town, good water supply." Sano slanted his eyes at me as his mouth twitched into that crooked smile of his. "How about it, Fox Lady? You up for it?"
Gasping, I felt overwhelming joy sweep over me as emotion froze my tongue and sent the corners of my mouth arching heavenward. Sano looked down at me fondly, his lips twisted into that teasing smirk I knew so well. Through the deafening clamor of my happiness and the myriad of things I wanted to say, I sputtered out indignantly, "Sanosuke Sagara, is that your idea of a proposal?"
"Nope," he grinned. Turning me around to face him, he pulled me into his arms as our lips melted together and the world disappeared. His arms cradled me to himself, one hand stroking the length of my hair and the other one reaching up to softly cup my cheek in his callused palm.
When we reluctantly pulled apart, he grinned again, the triumphant smirk on his face unmistakable. "That was".
Gasping, I tried to seize hold of some sort of coherent thought but Sano continued, "And if you say no, I am going to kiss you again until you say yes."
Giving him a devilish grin, I said, "Then no."
"You asked for it," Sano rumbled and pulled my chin up to meet his lips again. Everything faded away but him, and I was conscious of nothing but the strength of his body holding me against him and the rough tenderness of his mouth against mine. Finally my head met his chest, and he rested his chin on top of my head. Long moments passed with neither one of us saying a word. Finally Sano broke the silence. "Always knew I'd come back for my fox," he murmured into my hair. "I had a feeling you'd still be waiting for me."
Indignant, I tried to push away from his chest, but he held me too tightly for me to wiggle loose. "Sanosuke Sagara, I'll have you know I've gotten plenty of marriage offers!" I protested, fuming.
Sano laughed, "Yup, but this one you said yes to."
"I didn't actually say yes!" I argued.
"Sure you did," Sano replied and kissed me a third time. "There. See? You said it again."
"That doesn't count!" I contested.
"Sure it does," Sano grinned. "Besides, it doesn't matter. This rooster caught his fox and he's not going to let her get away this time."
Gathering my courage and letting my mock protests die, I looked him full in the face, dropping my mask and letting him see the love shining through my eyes. "Promise?" I asked timidly.
"Promise," he assured me. Cupping my face in his scarred hands, he softly rumbled, "I love you, Fox Lady. Will you marry me?"
"Oh Sano, yes!" I cried out and buried my face in his chest, feeling tears spring up. He held me tightly and sighed deeply, an expression of happiness that I echoed and as the rays of the setting sun washed over us, I felt the last icy fingers wrapped around my heart melt away in the warmth of Sano's love. At last I had found a home and a life, joy had replaced grief and sorrow, and the world opened itself into a glorious night of beginnings and newness.