His body tensed when he saw his boyfriend stride into their apartment. The sound of the splattering rain outside was muted when the door slammed shut, harder than necessary. Logan observed the taller boy wrench off his jacket and let it fall to the floor, leaving him in only a white cotton t-shirt with his jeans. The boy threw off his shoes, ignoring the puddles of water he left on the floor. His eyes raked across the room until finally locating Logan, who had been sitting on the couch doing nothing in particular.

As Kendall's eyes bore into his, Logan braced himself for the explosion that was to follow.

"Hey," Kendall said, his voice void of emotion. His eyes bore into Logan's with such intensity that Logan flinched away from his gaze after a few seconds. The silence that followed was tense, a prelude to the imminent storm. All they could hear was the rain hitting the roof of their apartment, the wind hitting their windows, the occasional thunder clap shaking the walls.

"So, you aren't even going to say anything to me?" Kendall demanded, letting a small bit of anger seep into his voice. Logan didn't answer. Instead, he stared at the dark blue material of the couch. Since both of them were about ten feet from each other, the distance kept Kendall from seeing the way Logan's hands were trembling. "Talk to me, Logan! Are you not even going to fucking apologize?"

No response.

Kendall exhaled severely and took a few steps toward his boyfriend, stopping short only a couple of steps from him. "I can't believe you. You're so fucking disgusting, Logan. You go and let another guy kiss you, and you won't even fucking apologize? Huh?"

"I'm not going to apologize, Kendall."

At this point Kendall closed the distance between then and grabbed the front of Logan's shirt and shook him roughly.

Logan wrapped his hands around Kendall's wrists in an effort to fight him off, but Kendall was already pulling him off the couch and pinning him against the wall next to it. Logan's head smacked against the wall painfully, but Kendall was past noticing. His face was right in front of Logan's, so no matter what the smaller brunette did, he could not escape his boyfriend's livid glare. He felt his heart drop when he noticed that Kendall's green eyes were glazed over.

"Did you like the way Carlos kissed you, is that it Logan?" Kendall asked, his voice dangerously smooth. "Did you like the way he held you and the way he wrapped his arms around you? Huh? Answer me you fucking whore!" Kendall's hand slapped Logan's cheek so hard, the sound echoed across the room. A single tear raced down the place Kendall hit, and that only enraged him more.

"Kendall please, let me expla-," Logan's plea was silenced by another slap in the face.

"God, you're fucking worthless Logan!" Kendall screamed at him, shaking his shoulders against the cold wall, ignorant to Logan's painful whimpers. "You're such a fucking slut! You have a boyfriend, you know, you can't go around throwing yourself at other guys! Yet that's what you do, and you won't even say you're sorry!"

"I'm not sorry, Kendall!" Logan screamed at him furiously, the tears falling freely down his battered face now. "I'm not fucking sorry I kissed him! He at least gives a fuck about me, unlike you! You're always gone, you never tell me when you'll be home. And when you do get home, you're either high or wasted or both! I'm sick of it! I'm tired of being pushed around and yelled at for no reason! You love your stupid drugs more than me! Just because you are so messed up doesn't mean you have to take it out on me!"

Kendall hit him again, this time punching him hard in the jaw and threw him onto the wooden floor. "Shut up!" he yelled at Logan. "Shut up, shut up!"

Pain ravaged Logan's mouth and skull as he lay there, completely helpless. His vision blurred with salty tears, and he tasted his own blood, metallic and rusty in his mouth. A few feet away, he listened to Kendall pick up various items and hurl them across the room. Glass shattered and fell onto the floor, like a diamond rainfall. The lamp that sat on the small corner table? Gone. The weird misshapen vase that Kendall had made him for their last anniversary? Gone.

"You see what you've done, Logan?" Kendall roared at him, finally done breaking their belongings and striding over to him. "This is all your fault! You love torturing me, don't you?" Logan lay there, the pain in his body enveloping him completely, when Kendall kneeled next to him. Instinctively, Logan pulled himself up to his elbows in an effort to back away from him, but it was no use. Kendall's hands reached out weaved around Logan's neck, shoving him back onto the ground. Logan struggled, but Kendall threw on of his legs over Logan's waist, straddling him and effectively keeping him prisoner underneath him.

"You liked it when Carlos kissed you, Logie, didn't you?" Kendall taunted, leaning over to press his lips gently over the place he had slapped earlier. His hands trailed down Logan's chest, which was rising and falling unsteadily. Fear enveloped Logan like never before as Kendall began popping open the buttons on his shirt, slowly exposing the skin underneath it.

"You're a slut, Logan," Kendall told him, once Logan's shirt was out of his way. "And I am going to show you what sluts like you deserve to have done to them." A few of Kendall's fingers tenderly ran across Logan's lips, wiping off the blood. The newly bloodied hand ran down the length of the smaller boy's chest, leaving behind a crimson trail.

"No, Kendall, please!" Logan begged as Kendall began undoing the strap of his belt. He tried to free his hips, kicking and bucking against Kendall in a brutal effort to escape his clutches. Logan's arms tried to rip Kendall's away from his shoulders, where he was being pinned down, but the attempt was futile. Out of nowhere, he felt Kendall's lips mash together with his almost violently. Logan tried to turn away but his boyfriend wasn't having it. Kendall's lips moved against his viciously, far different from the gentle, loving way he had done when they had first gotten together.

This Kendall was different. This Kendall was involved in a crazy bloodlust, and Logan had become the perfect victim. The old Kendall was gone and replaced by a monster.

Sobs erupted from within Logan's chest, desperate and uneven, but Kendall was far from noticing. He groaned against Logan's lips as he began working Logan's jeans open. "You know you like it, Logan," Kendall said, quitting his invasion of Logan's mouth to stare into the brunette's eyes one more time.

Logan stared into Kendall's green eyes, searching for a trace of the boy he had come to love a long time ago. His heart ached for a sign that maybe somewhere, deep down, Kendall would realize what he was doing and let him go. But he saw nothing. All he saw was the ghost of the boy he loved. This ghost's eyes were crazed with fury; his smile was cruel and painted with Logan's blood.

"W-what h-happened to y-you, Kendall?" Logan sobbed heartbrokenly at the realization that the love of his life was gone. "Why are y-you doing this?"

"I'm not doing anything wrong, Logan," Kendall answered emotionlessly. "You brought this on. If it hadn't been for you, we'd be happy together. We'd be alright. But you hurt me. You kissed another guy and didn't apologize for it. I love you Logan, I really do, but you hurt me. I need to punish you."

"If you really loved me, you wouldn't be doing this!" Logan yelled at him. "You don't do this to people you love, Kendall! Let me go!" Logan twisted his body back and forth away from Kendall, refusing to let this go on any further. He raised one hand up and punched Kendall hard on the side of his head. The impact shocked Kendall for a second, and that was enough. In one fluid movement, Logan rolled over and managed to get on his knees before Kendall regained sense.

Kendall threw his arm back and got Logan once more in the mouth, making him topple back as fresh blood dripped down his chin onto the floor. Kendall lunged once more for him and brought them both down onto the floor. His hand wrapped around Logan's neck tightly, blocking the boy's windpipe.

Logan lay there, choking and coughing, while his attacker stared at him like a hunter observing his prey before going in for the kill. His eyes watered even more, both from pain and heartache.

He never imagined he'd be at the mercy of his true love. Kendall has been his protector throughout grade school, his best friend throughout middle and high school, and his lover since they graduated and moved in together. Logan had given up his virginity to Kendall, and had never been with another but him. What they had was unparalleled; they were literally perfect for each other. Kendall was outgoing, adventurous, and fun loving, while Logan was more reserved, shy, and analytical. They complimented each other well, and Logan was sure they would be together forever.

Or at least, he did. Until the night Logan found a syringe and vial of heroin in the pocket of Kendall's jacket one night after a party.

"K-Kendall," Logan gasped with a brutally strenuous effort. He raised his hands to fall on top of Kendall's and tugged weakly.

"I can't believe you Logan," Kendall whispered quietly, misery dripping in every word. "I didn't want it to end like this. I love you."

"Please, I c-can't breathe," Logan begged breathlessly. His head felt lightheaded with the lack of oxygen and his hands fell weakly against his chest, unable to fight anymore. He raised his eyes sleepily to look at Kendall. The punch he had thrown at him left an ugly bruise on Kendall's right eye. His blonde hair fell over his eyes; his mouth was stretched into an ugly grimace. Would this be the last image of Kendall he would have before his heart died out from the lack of air? "K-Ken-," he stuttered before he felt his head sway and the world bend at an odd angle.

Before he completely blacked out, the pressure at his throat slackened. With a loud gasp, his chest filled with sweet oxygen. At once, his throat began stinging horribly and his body jolted as he coughed and gagged. His lungs relished at their reunion with fresh air. He rolled over and braced himself on his elbows, continuing to sputter as his throat worked to relieve the ache in it.

After a few minutes, his coughs died down and Logan recognized a new sound in the apartment. He got to his feet shakily and was greeted by the sight of his lover sobbing on the ground.

The sound coming from Kendall was ragged and chopped, intermingling with occasionally yelps of hysteria. Kendall was curled into a ball with his knees brought up to his chest. His hands gripped madly at his hair as though trying to rip it out. His face, dripping with tears and blood, was screwed up into a painful grimace, looking very much like the face of a man being tortured. His eyes were insane with grief as they stared without seeing at the floor, which was littered with small drips of blood, glass, and broken objects. In between cries of rage and anguish, his lips moved so fast they were practically trembling. He muttered something over and over, but the words were unrecognizable.

Without a word, Logan walked over to where Kendall had dropped his jacket earlier, kneeled down, and began digging through the front pockets. Almost immediately, his hand wrapped around the object he'd come to despise for the past few months. After pulling it out, he saw the syringe was empty, but small drips still hung inside the clear tube that held the heroin. Inside the same pocket was a sealed vial of the clear, deadly drug and another smaller packet full of powder.

The drugs in his palm and Kendall's sobs piercing the air over and over gave Logan the confirmation of what he needed to do. Determinately, he stood and pocketed the drugs, eager to get them away from Kendall as soon as he could. They weren't going to help him, no matter what excuses he made. Finally, he walked over to Kendall and kneeled in front of him. As gently as he could, Logan reached out and pulled Kendall toward him. He wrapped his arms around him tightly, and although his touch made Kendall even more hysterical, the shaking boy leaned into him and sobbed into his chest.

"Shh Kendall, you're alright baby, it's going to be okay…," Logan whispered, running his hands up and down Kendall's back soothingly. The boy in his arms was inconsolable. His body jolted and shook with his heavy sobs and he held onto Logan for dear life.

"L-Logan I'm s-so s-s-sorry!" Kendall wailed brokenly. "I'm s-sorry!"

"It's alright, it's okay," Logan assured him gently, but no amount of comforting words could calm him, and eventually Logan stopped whispering to him. He simply held onto Kendall and let him cry himself out on his own.

After what seemed like hours, Kendall's sobs finally died down. He kept his face buried in Logan's neck without saying a word. His body was still trembling, but his demeanor was calm and Logan knew the worst was over. He turned his head slightly and kissed the side of his head with the lightest touch possible, making Kendall tense up, then relax.

"You okay?" Logan asked, reaching up to run his thumb across Kendall's cheek. He received no response. "You need help, Kendall," Logan whispered quietly. "You can't keep taking those drugs. You're killing yourself."

Those words seemed to have an effect because Kendall moaned and began shaking again, but this time his cries were softer. A minute later, he whimpered, "I almost killed you, Logan. I deserve to d-die."

"No, don't say that," Logan ordered, pulling away from Kendall to look into his eyes, which shone with tears and were tinted red. His face absolutely broke Logan's heart into a million pieces. It was full of misery and pain, more than anybody deserved to carry. "You don't deserve to die. Don't ever think that!"

"But I do!" Kendall said desperately. "I hurt you," he whispered hopelessly, letting a hand rise up to Logan's face and caress the bruises disfiguring his face. "You don't deserve someone like me, I'm nothing but a mess and all I've done is hurt you again and again. You deserve so much better, Logan. You deserve the world, you deserve so much…. I'm so sorry."

"Shh..," Logan silenced him, lifting his own hand to wipe away the fresh tears coming out of Kendall's eyes. He leaned in and kissed his boyfriend's lips with the smallest pressure he could muster.

The kiss was tender, gentle. It reminded him of their very first kiss a few years ago, back when drugs and partying and the pressures of everyday life were foreign concepts to them. Logan remembered the feeling of Kendall's hand in his, the way he had wrapped his arms carefully around him, and the way Kendall had leaned down to kiss him. There was nothing that compared to the feeling Logan had at that moment. He felt invincible, like nothing in the world could tear him down. This kiss reminded him that, despite everything, their love was still there somewhere.

When they pulled apart, Kendall asked," Do you still love me?"

"Yeah, I do," Logan told him honestly. "Despite everything, you're the only person I could ever imagine myself with, Kendall. You're the only person who knows me inside and out. You're the only one I completely trust to be myself with. When I'm with you, I feel alive. Whole. When I kiss you, I feel so happy, you have no idea. When you make love to me…all the bad things go away and I feel safe, protected. The world could be falling apart, and I wouldn't care as long as you're still with me. There's no place in the world I'd rather be than with you, Kendall Knight."

"I love you so much, that's why it absolutely kills me to see you poisoning yourself with those drugs. It's like the real you isn't even here anymore," Logan's voice cracked at he said this. "It's like I'm living with a complete stranger. I don't know you anymore when you're high, Kendall. You're always angry and always out partying with your friends, I felt so alone. I felt as though my only reason for being here had left me. That's why I let Carlos kiss me. I just…I needed support. I hadn't been able to feel relaxed in so long and when he kissed me, I felt okay, if only for a little while. I felt as though there was still someone out there who cared. But the whole time, I wished that it was you."

"I miss you, Kendall. I miss the old you. I miss when you would kiss me every time you got home. I miss when you'd hold my hand while we watched TV together. I miss when you'd say stupid, cheesy pick up lines to me at random moments. I miss when we used to cuddle together before we fell asleep. I miss when we spent hours talking about everything on the weekends when we didn't have work. I miss when you told me you loved me. I miss it all so much it hurts. I want it all so bad, Kendall. But we'll never go back to how we were unless you get help. We can't be together unless you stop the drugs and get yourself back together."

The room was still after Logan's speech. Kendall stared at the floor, crying quietly. He reached up and wiped his eyes clumsily with the back of his hand. On his wrist, Logan saw short, light red cuts criss-crossing all over up to his forearm. The cuts were healing, though a few looked fresh. Kendall caught Logan staring at his arm and quickly lowered his arm behind his back.

"Kendall, what…?" Logan reached for his arm and extended it toward him. He examined the butchered skin and ran his fingers across the surface carefully, feeling the thin indentions. The idea of Kendall taking drugs was already a lot, but now this? Now he was purposely cutting himself and making himself bleed? A few of Logan's tears fell onto the skin, and he raised his eyes to meet Kendall's shameful expression.

"I couldn't help it," Kendall admitted miserably. "I couldn't take it anymore. I needed a way to pull myself back into reality. I'm sorry, Logan. I'm sorry." Logan said nothing. He planted a kiss on his love's injuries and took a shaky breath.

With an intense effort, he got to his feet, leaving Kendall alone on the ground. Ignoring the mess around them, he walked out of the living room and disappeared into their bedroom. He picked up the pre-packed bag off their bed and a small business card off the nightstand. The card was like a weight in his palm as he carried it, along with the bag, back into the living room.

Standing by himself in the chaos that was their living room, Kendall saw the bag in Logan's grip and his eyes widened. Fear, sadness, anxiety all showed in his eyes. Seeing this look made Logan want to drop the bag and run over and hold Kendall in his arms and never let go. But he knew that if things were to get better, it was all up to Kendall. Logan had tried many, many times to help him, but he learned that someone like Kendall had to search for the help himself if he was really to get better.

He approached Kendall again. "Kendall, we both know that you need help. I've tried so many times to get you what you need to move on from this. I've done all I can, but now its your turn. You need to put in the effort to get better." Logan took his hand and placed the card in between their palms. "Please Kendall. I can't stay here any longer. My presence isn't helping anything. You need professional help. I know you'll find the strength to do it. You've always been my knight in shining armor, Kendall. You'll move on from this, I know you will."

Kendall's expression was scared, nervous. But he nodded. "Where are you going?" he asked quietly.

Logan shook his head. "I don't know exactly."

"Will you be back?" Kendall asked doubtfully. "I know I've screwed up, but does this mean…?"

"No. I'll be back, I promise. I just need to get away. I need to give you space to recover." Logan closed the space between them and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. He took a deep breath and took in his scent one last time. "I'll always love you, Kendall. No matter what."

"I love you too, Logan," Kendall muttered sadly, but sincerity rang in every syllable. "Forever." Logan pulled away and kissed him, fully immersing himself in the kiss. He put every emotion he felt into it, and when they parted, Kendall's expression was sad, but there was a hint of determination in his eyes.

Kendall watched as Logan closed the door of their apartment behind him. Every cell in his body ached to run after him, but he resisted. Instead, he looked down at the small card Logan had given him. His hand found a phone and he dialed the ten digit numbers slowly.

"Hello?" a cheery female's voice answered. "This is Clearwater Rehabilitation Center, my name is Kate, how may I help you?" This was it. The moment of truth.

"Hello, my name is Kendall Knight," he said with a shaky breath. Logan's face appeared in his mind and he said the last sentence with resignation. "I'd like to reserve a spot for myself in your facility, please. I need help."