A/N: So yeah…I'm kind of alive and yes this is an actual update. It's been on my mind for ages to update this buuuuuuuut…I stare at a blank document, listening to music on youtube and hope for some inspiration. Fortunately, I found some! So here we go.

Same as always, don't own.

Waiting

There is something called the "waiting game," Roger, and it is perhaps the most agonizing game in existence. Do you how often you made me play it? Far more than I ever wanted to, more than I thought I ever would. It's a simple game, involves nothing but sitting on pins and needles and waiting; simplicity itself. It's a wretched and dreadful game that I hated partaking in. I do hope you're proud of yourself for that.

I would sit and play that game for days, weeks even, just waiting and watching for when your ship would dock at our port again. Some days, the game would be played at my desk, where I write these letters. Others it would be on the porch, sitting and scanning the sea for any sign of a ship. Needless to say, the waiting game was also full of disappointment. But day in and day out, I would sit and wait for you to come back. I didn't know when, if ever, but I would keep waiting.

The waiting game was good for one thing and one thing only, Roger: it let my mind wander, to places it would never go because of so many outside distractions. Did you know that it was actually over a game of waiting that I realized how much you truly meant to me? I knew I would realize it eventually but with waiting seeming to be my only task, it hit a bit quicker than expected. It weighed heavily on my mind for days but it made the waiting a little less aggravating, yet also a little bit dreadful. I finally realized this yet I had to wait an unknown amount of time before I could even tell you.

The waiting game went on for weeks, five to be exact (yes, I counted.) I'm ashamed now to admit that I had begun to give up, that maybe I was waiting for nothing. At first I could easily scold myself for thinking such a thing but as days passed by, I didn't find it to be as easy as before. My days became busied with other tasks and I spent less and less time waiting for you; perhaps it was to keep my mind off of it. For a time, I had forgotten about the waiting game I was playing. I think you must've been magic or something, Roger, because not a day after I had truly given up did you finally revisit our little island.

I was playing what remained of the waiting game at the shoreline, digging my hands in the sand and letting the grains slip through my fingers. Mother had noticed my apparently obvious sullen mood and shooed me out to get some fresh air; she blamed it on changing weather (oh, if only she knew.) I sat there for hours, still waiting for I had thought would never return. I truly wish you could have seen the surprise on my face when I saw your ship headed towards our docks; you would've laughed until you fell over, as you usually did. For whatever reason, to this day I still don't know why, I didn't raise my hopes too high as I wandered (the fishermen claim that I ran but I'm not convinced) over to where the ship was docking.

And still I played that dreadful game, standing there with my hands clenched together while rocking back and forth on my heels. I didn't want to raise my hopes, that maybe it was only your crew coming to inform me of the worst, but I remember that doubt being eased away by their cheerful demeanors and laughs. I had been anxious at that point for one reason or another. My arms were now crossed so that my hands could wring at my sleeves before they rubbed the skin off the other, and still I rocked on my feet. I could see them but not you.

I do and don't doubt that you could ever feel the relief I did when you stepped onto that dock. I stopped rocking and stopped wringing my poor sleeves when I saw that dorky grin of yours, laughing at something a crewmate had said. At last, that accursed waiting game had ended. Why had I ever doubted you? I do remember how bright your face got when you noticed me standing there; I think I still wore an expression of surprise and anxiety. I think it was rather foolish now looking back on it.

You strode right up to me, your grin never faltering. "I told you I'd be back!" you chirped, squeezing me until I was positively sure I would break in two (I wish you had kept in mind that I was a tiny person, Roger.) "Surely you didn't doubt me!" Did you say that because it was still blatantly obvious on my face that I had, even for a brief while? My eyes looked over your features, trying to find some indication of disappointment at my doubts, but you only blinked with a confused look.

I remember smiling and shaking my head, telling you that I hadn't doubted you. After all, you had made that promise upon your last departure. "It's nice to have you back," I remember saying, returning your (rather suffocating) hug. I know I had wanted to tell right then and there how I felt but my mind was too fogged with relief and glee of having you back that I never considered it. Yet there was one thing that still bothered me. "Roger?"

"Yes?" That curiosity in your tone I failed to pick up on for some strange reason.

"The next time you make a promise to a young lady," I made possibly the boldest move in my entire life that day. I grabbed you by the collar and pulled you to my level for a kiss, "make sure to do it right next time."

So I kind of like and kind of hate the ending but that fails to matter! I know it's been forever (or at least feels like it) but thank you for reading. Hopefully I'll have more to come sooner and not several months apart!