"Helping Toby"

Written By Melissa (Doc)

NOTES: I'm going over some of my old stories, fixing them up, and re-posting them. I have added quite a lot more writing into this story, FYI. Enjoy! This is set during Season Four.

Part 1

The senior staffers were all walking back to their offices, and just about all of them were in shock. They were told that the President had decided not to run for reelection. Then a back-flip happened. At the press conference, he announced that he was going to run. Leo was the only person who thought that he was going to change his mind. The rest of the staff believed that his mind was already made up.

Toby walked into his office and shut the door. He thought about the events that had happened that day: Mrs. Landingham's funeral. Leo giving him, and only him, a life boat. Being told that the President had decided not to run for reelection. And then going to the Press Conference only to hear the President announce his plan to run.

Toby sat in his chair and looked through the glass at all the people running frantically around the Communications Bullpen. He knew that he should be out there working, but he needed somewhere to go for a while to be alone. He was trying to get everything in his head sorted out before he started working on anything.

"What a day," Toby mumbled to himself while resting his head on the back of his chair.

"It's only going to get worse," A familiar voice called out.

Toby lifted his head up slowly with his eyes open wide. He knew that voice, but he knew that it couldn't be her. But sure enough, when he looked at his couch, he saw her. He jumped up quickly and moved to the back of his office.

"Calm down Toby. I'm not going to bite you or anything," Mrs. Landingham smiled.

"But you're...you…." Toby stumbled over his words.

"I'm dead, yes Toby. I know," She informed. "It's okay."

"I don't understand," Toby said, still trying to back further into his office.

"You see Toby. I'm here to help you. Well, to the best of my ability. Out of the whole staff Toby, you have more things going on in that head of yours than anybody else. And right now, Jed is going to need your all. There is no way he will win this thing without you Toby." She explained.

"Well, I was fine. But now I'm seeing dead people, so now I don't know," Toby said mainly to himself, starting to walk closer to his desk, never taking his eyes off of her.

"Toby, do you want my help? Oh heck, even if you don't, I'm not leaving until I do." She declared in her old stubborn way.

"Help me with what?" Toby asked dumbly.

"To put your life in order, Toby. Look at yourself: You're 47. Not married. No girlfriend. No kids. This office is your home. Your work is your life. You are in love with someone that you will never tell. You…."

"Okay! Okay! I get the point!" He stopped her. Moaning loudly, still rubbing his eyes to possibly clear the image of the dead woman he was having a conversation with.

"I'm here to help you." She smiled.

"But why do you want to help me?" He asked, not really caring about the answer. He thought his mind was finally giving out on him.

"Because I like you Toby. Sure, I may never have given you a cookie. But I still care about you," She said with a smile.

Toby walked closer to his couch, where she was sitting. He sat next to her and looked over at her cautiously.

"I'm fine." He proclaimed. He was trying desperately to believe that in his mind.

"You always say that. But you know what?" She gave him a stern look.

"What?"

"I have ways to tell when you're lying. Now, you don't want to lie to the dead, do you?" She said with a smirk, trying not to laugh at Toby's shocked expression.

"No ma'am." Toby answered nervously. He lowered his head and fidgeted with his tie. Something he had always done when he was nervous.

"Good, now you need to get to work." She slapped her hands together.

"What?" Toby looked at her.

"You have a speech to write for the President." She reminded him.

"Oh yeah," Toby looked down again and played with his tie.

"Toby." She rolled her eyes at his childlike manner.

"Yeah?" He mumbled from the corner of his mouth.

"Go reelect President Bartlet." She demanded with a smile.

Toby smiled and looked over at her. "Yes ma'am."

"I'll be here when you get back." She mentioned with a smile.

"You will?" He turned pale again.

"Yes, there are a lot more things ahead for you, Toby. Now go on," Mrs. Landingham got up from the couch with Toby. She smiled as he walked out of his office to go meet the rest of the staff.

For the past four hours, the staff had been in Leo's office discussing the plan for launching the reelection campaign. They knew that it was going to be tough, but they were all up for the challenge.

"Okay, it's two in the morning," Leo stated after consulting his watch. "Why don't we continue with this later in the morning?" Leo offered as he sat up and stretched. He noticed everyone was exhausted, almost falling asleep at the table. "We have a good start here. Go home and get some sleep. I'll see you all later in the morning."

"Thank you sir," Sam, Josh, Toby, and CJ walked out into the hallway. Noticing the dead silence that was surrounding them.

"Do you think we have a chance of nailing this?" Sam asked everyone. He hated to be a cynic, but after the whole mess with the MS scandal still being dealt with, he couldn't help but ask the question he knew everyone had weighed on their minds.

"We're going to win this thing," Josh stated with as much confidence he could muster up at that late hour. The look on his face was honest, as if he didn't have a worry in the World about the outcome of this campaign.

"Yeah, we're going to do this right," CJ jumped in with the same determination Josh possessed. She smiled at the three of them as she put her hand out flat. "Who's with me?" She said, making it sound almost like a challenge.

"I am," Josh answered quickly and proudly, placing his right hand above hers.

"Me too," Sam agreed as he gathered strength from his fellow friends, placing his hand above Josh's. His eyes stopping on his boss, the man who he would follow anywhere as long as Toby asked him. He could not, nor, would not, be able to do this without Toby.

Josh and CJ both eyed Toby. All three looked at Toby with determination, tiredness, and fear radiating off of their faces. Toby could see how much they wanted this, and how much they needed him to complete the circle, and he wasn't going to be the one to take that dream away. He felt proud at the looks he received. They would never let him leave. And he wouldn't want to.

"Count me in," Toby agreed, trying to sound enthusiastic, which was hard to do when it was after two in the morning. He even managed a smile for them. "One, two, three…"

"Bartlet!" They all said together as hands went up in the air, finalizing their parts in the campaign.

Josh and Sam took off to go home and sleep for a few hours, while CJ and Toby went back to their own offices.

"Oh man," Toby said tiredly as he entered his office. During the meeting, he had completely forgotten about his visitor from earlier that day. He was exhausted. All he wanted to do was sleep for the next ten days.

"How'd it go?" Mrs. Landingham asked when he closed his office door. Toby jumped back and hit his back against the door. Hard.

"Don't do that!" Toby snapped as he rubbed the ache in his right shoulder from the crash.

"What?" She asked, innocently.

"Scare me like that."

"Oh yes, Toby. Because I scared you on purpose," Mrs. Landingham replied sarcastically.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to snap," Toby explained softly. He must be tired. He never apologized.

Mrs. Landingham smiled and walked back to his couch and sat down in the spot she had been when she first came back into his life that day.

"Are you going home?" She questioned.

"No. I thought I would just sleep here tonight." He answered, walking over to his desk.

"Nope," Mrs. Landingham shook her head at his answer.

"What?" He asked, confused. He stopped short of his desk to look at her.

"Go home."She ordered him, besides offering it as an idea.

"Mrs. Landingham, I have to be back here by eight in the morning." He explained.

"Home. Now." She crossed her arms and held her stare on him.

"Mrs. Lan…" He began, almost in a whining voice that he hated with a passion.

Mrs. Landingham got up from the couch and moved closer to Toby. He stepped back at the look she was giving him. It was like he was back in time, getting chewed out by his mother for breaking curfew.

"Go home and sleep Toby. Don't make me find a way to hit you on the head with something hard." She threatened. Both had no doubt she could, and would, find a way to make the threat an actuality if pushed.

"Yes ma'am," Toby said angrily. Letting her know by the tone in his voice that he was not happy. He knew she didn't care, though. He picked up some papers and his briefcase off of his desk, and started to walk out of his office.

"No papers or briefcase." She said before he walked out.

"I have to have these." He tried to explain, impatiently.

"Why?"

"So I can look them over." He actually had to think about it. He had all these damn papers memorized a week ago. Grabbing them off of his desk was just to showcase his frustration with all her demands.

"You're going to go home and sleep until you have to come back into work. When you get here, then you can look at the papers for probably the millionth time." She knew him, and knew how he worked.

"Fine," Toby put the papers and his briefcase back down on his desk with a slam, and looked over at her.

"Goodnight Toby," She said with a smile once she was satisfied he was leaving all his work at the office, where it belonged.

"Yeah, yeah," Toby mumbled his departure irritation before leaving his office in a huff. Bossed around by a dead woman. Nice going, Toby.

Toby was walking out to his car mumbling more vocal irritation as this whole mess.

"I'm almost certain I'm having a nervous breakdown," He shared out-loud so he could hear the words.

"I know the feeling." A voice replied from behind him.

Toby jumped and turned around quickly to find the face of the new voice.

"Sorry Toby. I didn't mean to scare you," CJ laughed at Toby's reaction. His face was as pale as a ghost, and he stumbled backward, clenching his hand over his heart. She had an urge to hug him, just to make him feel better. She had been standing out by his car, waiting for him to leave work. She had watched him walk out of the White House, muttering the whole time with a pissed off look pasted on his face. She almost snuck away, afraid maybe she had caused his sudden anger.

"Oh, it's just fine. Everyone else seems to be doing that today." He mumbled again, as he looked down at his tie to begin fidgeting with it. He did that a lot when he was around CJ.

"Who else scared you?" She asked, thankful that his face was now back to the original color and the pissed off look was dismissed. He now held a look of reluctance, and nervousness. He was looking at his tie, which he did a lot when she was around. At least she witnessed him holding back the urge to play with it.

"Mrs. La…never mind." He didn't dare mention his visitor from beyond the grave. It was hard enough to handle him going insane in his own mind, so he didn't feel the need to spread the information to others. Especially CJ. "I thought everyone went home already?" He asked, gearing the conversation back into safer grounds. He made eye contact with her finally.

"I am now. I had to get some papers from my office to look over at home." She explained, knowing he understood what she was talking about. On that note, she finally noticed he wasn't carrying his normal work load home with him tonight.

"Must be nice," Toby mumbled sarcastically. He wanted his briefcase. He wanted those papers he already had memorized. All he had was his work. And because of that, Mrs. Landingham put her foot down and made him leave without anything. How the hell was that small action going to help him and his lonely life?

"What?" CJ asked, confused as hell at his response and the look after the response. He almost looked annoyed at the fact of not having any work in his hands right now to take home. If he wanted to work, why didn't he just bring it with him? Did someone ban that from happening? And if so, whom?

"Nothing." He shrugged. Great, he was acting like a total fool and lunatic in front of his best friend. He growled and began bouncing on the heels of his feet, trying to will himself to disappear. He tried to smile reassuringly at her, letting her know he hadn't lost his mind. But the smile came across as a pathetic snarl. He quickly dispersed with it and decided on his famous frowned instead.

"Why are you still here?" She felt that question might be safer then if she asked why he didn't bring material with him to work on at home.

"I had to get some things." He answered, immediately remembering the lack of materials in his hands. He cursed himself. He was batting a million today!

CJ again looked at Toby's empty hands. She bit her lip from saying the wrong thing, not wanting to piss him off.

"Did you forget it?" She asked carefully, adding a bit of a teasing tone in her question. Teasing she knew he accepted, and liked. Banter was a favorite among them. She smiled, almost shyly, at him.

"Changed my mind at the last minute." Toby explained pathetically. She was trying so hard not to make this hard on him. He smiled weakly at her efforts.

"Why?" She was curious now. Screw it. If he got pissed, he got pissed. She was confused as hell right now at his behavior.

"I just thought I would actually sleep a little and not stay up and work." He decided to explain Mrs. Landingham's version, but of course leaving the name in his head and out of his spoken words.

"That's not like you. You usually stay awake all night and work. Are you feeling okay?" She asked, concern radiating through the look she gave him.

"Fine, just fine." He hated making her worry about him. He hated it even more that he was lying to her. He wasn't fine. He felt like he was twirling around in a circle, and was about to run head first into a brick wall.

"Maybe I should try that sometime, huh?" CJ decided to joke to ease the tension that was starting to bubble up between them, and flashed Toby her famous grin. She could see he was mainly stuck in his head at that point and decided to end the discussion. "Goodnight Toby," She said with a shaky voice full of concern. She turned and started toward her car.

"Goodnight CJ," Toby replied quietly, so quiet he wasn't sure she even heard him. He watched her walk to her car, get in, and drive away from him without even a second glance. She was beautiful, which was exactly why Toby could never tell her or anyone his feelings for her. She would never feel the same way about him, as he continued to tell himself. In less then five minutes, he managed to confuse her, worry her, and anger her. He could hear the worry in her departing words, and feel her concerned look staring at him before leaving. Another reason he would never allow his feelings to be revealed: He hurt her too much.

Toby got into his car and started it. He looked around for a moment and then drove away. He knew in his heart that he wanted to work in the White House for another four years. To work for President Bartlet. Yet he knew it was going to take a lot for that to happen this time. They had pure dumb luck during the first election. They were going to need a lot more this time around.

When Toby pulled into his driveway, he got out of his car and walked up to his door. Before he went in, he looked around his neighborhood and saw how peaceful it was at this time. He liked it. It was the first time that day that he had complete piece. And complete silence.

He walked into his house and placed his keys and jacket on the table adjacent from the door. He walked directly to his bedroom. Once inside, he shut his door. He took off his shoes, socks, and tie. Then he sat down on his bed and looked at himself in the mirror. He remembered what Mrs. Landingham had told him earlier.

"She's right. I'm getting old and I'm alone," Toby mumbled to himself. He turned on his alarm clock to wake him up later that morning, and then he unbuttoned his shirt and took it off. He did the same with his pants. Then he put on an old white tee-shirt. He already had boxers on, so he fell back down on his bed and covered himself up. He shut his eyes and tried to get the day he had just had out of his head for a little bit. The only thing that stayed in his head now was Mrs. Landingham. He didn't understand why he was seeing her. Why she was there. Or why she wanted to help him. But his thoughts soon escaped him and he was soon fast asleep.

TBC