Yup, stayed up too late again looking at more crack... This actually isn't quite as crackish as the last chapter even, but it's obviously over the top, despite trying to stay fairly close to character... see for yourself.
L made his way through the elaborate series of locked doors until he arrived at Kira's cell. Night was lying on his cot, facing the wall.
L tapped the wall with the toe of his hightop.
"Gee, I wonder who that could be," Night muttered, rolling over. "You know, I heard you coming."
"Bad day?" L asked, slipping a paper bag between the bars.
"Why, was there a good one recently and I missed it?" Night went to stand by L and took the bag from him. He peeked inside. "You know… not everyone likes cake as much as you do."
"It was a very good one."
"Then you eat it."
L sat in front of the cell, drawing his legs up in front of him and resting his hands on his shoes, debating whether or not to take them off. It was cool in the lockup, and he supposed his toes would get cold.
Night shook his head and pulled the piece of strawberry cake out of the bag. He nibbled at it, and L could tell he liked it, whether he would admit it or not.
"I'm going crazy in here," Night said calmly. "When you're here I'm ticked because I know you're the reason I'm here. But when I'm alone a long time… I kind of start to freak out. I may not remember much about that time, but I remember when you had me in solitary before. It's hell."
"Very close, by some accounts," L admitted.
"I feel… like I need… I dunno. Something. Conversation, for one thing. But I need to do stuff, too. Exercising is boring as watching paint dry."
"You need a playmate."
Night choked on his cake. "Uh… well, I wouldn't have said it that way…. So, what? You gonna come in here and play with me?"
"Nope. I can't let anyone in with you. It would risk putting someone in a hostage situation."
"Come on, if I wanted to, I could reach through the bars and threaten to break your puny arm if you didn't let me out."
"First, no: you couldn't. Second, I'd let you break it."
"You would not! I know you. You wouldn't. You'd strategize, and… what do you mean I couldn't?"
"Try it."
Night looked skeptical. Then he squatted in front of L and watched the pale-faced, dark-eyed detective for a moment before his hand darted through the bars.
L rolled off to the side. "To slow," he declared.
"OK, well, if you weren't expecting it, I could," Night retorted.
"So," L said, returning to his former position, "do you think my visiting is helpful, or…"
"No; I can't stand the sight of you."
"Oh. That's a shame. I'll be going, then." L started to get up.
"Hey, hey, wait. I was just joking," Night said, grabbing a metal bar with one hand and reaching through with the other, this time not quick and grabby, but slow and pleading.
"You do think it helps, then?"
"I don't know. I just… hate being alone all the time."
L settled down again. "I can't stay all day. The Wimsey boys will tear apart task force HQ. And… I have other things to attend to."
"More cases? Hey, bring some of your case files down here. I've helped you out before. It'd be nice to work on something again."
"You think so? I'll bring something by tomorrow, then," L offered.
Night gave a small smile, the first L had seen on his face in months.
"I'm sorry," L said. "I should have thought of it sooner."
"Don't worry about it."
The conversation wound down until L and Night were just sitting in front of each other, neither having anything relevant to say, but neither wanting to be the one to end the interview.
At last, Night relented and looked at his watch. "It's almost lunchtime," he said. "Here…" he pulled the strawberry off the top of what was left of his cake and passed it through the bars to L.
"Thank you; you're very generous."
"It's just a strawberry."
"But when you consider how many belongings you have in there, this strawberry was a very high percentage of all that you have."
Night looked like he wasn't sure whether to be annoyed or amused. "I guess if you put it that way…. Way to make a guy feel empty. You're right; I have practically nothing here."
"It wasn't my intention to depress you."
"Of course not." Night sighed and got to his feet. L mirrored him.
"Tomorrow, then?" L said, holding out his hand.
Night laughed dryly. "I threaten to break your arm, and you'll still shake my hand."
"You wouldn't have mentioned it if you really intended to do it. Besides… I know you need this."
"Hand-shaking?"
"Contact. I intend to keep you sane, my friend."
Night shook L's hand, a sarcastic smile on his face. "If you think a little palm-touch is what will keep me sane, then I'm glad I can keep your imagination satisfied. Dream on, detective."
"I knew you wouldn't take me seriously. That's why I had no qualms in mentioning it. Goodbye, Night."
"See you tomorrow."
L was glad that Night's confinement kept him from finding out about the fictional versions of themselves, and especially the fan fiction. Otherwise, their entire conversation might have been misconstrued.
By the way, if you're hoping for yaoi, forget it. I don't write that. While the situations and wording may become iffy at times, my intentions about these two (and most of the other characters) are purely friendship-oriented. If you enjoyed this weird segment, drop me a line. :)