Kakashi stared up at the glowing disk that dipped further into the horizon with every passing minute in disbelief, before rigorously patting himself up and down, checking all that he had on his person.

A whole day.

He'd been out-cold for a complete day.

That was just inviting robbery and a slit throat, among other things.

Apparently though he had had amazing luck, seeing as it looked like nothing had even touched him. Refusing to believe it was that simple, he even set about sniffing himself.

Nothing.

He turned his attention outwards, on his surroundings. Scurrying animals, birds that made their home in a nearby tree and leaves that were slowly on their way to matching the fiery orange of the setting sun.

The silver-haired boy exhaled to relax his body before stretching. As a born and raised leaf ninja, many a tree had been a resting spot but he could not say that the hard wood of a thick branch was good for anyone's back.

Gingerly he felt one of his lower left ribs and winced.

Not good for anyone's ribs either.

He formed the ram sign and mentally pushed his chakra to circulate a little faster. His calculation of how much chakra he had was a little surprising but welcome nonetheless. They were recharging faster than he was used to, much faster.

Could the difference in his mental energy account for this?

It was a question that begged more attention, more than he could afford to give right now.

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted the spear of the kunoichi who had been after Sai's and his lives. After pushing her back into the forest and away from Sai (hoping that their silent watcher would take the hint and get Sai some medical attention) they had had a pitched tree-hopping battle that culminated with him breaking one of her fingers and snatching her weapon from her.

In mid-air.

Naruto probably would not have shut up about how cool that was for days.

He had told her to leave then and she did, but not after shooting him with a glare so intense from behind her mask. Really, if looks could kill...but with her special eyes Kakashi had been half afraid that the possibility existed.

Fortunately the spear did not seem to have that 'obey only one master' gimmick, so it hadn't tried to bite him...yet.

He picked up the spear in his free hand and channeled chakra into it, nudging it with his will. There was some resistance but Kakashi was a quick learner if nothing else. With barely a sound the shaft shortened until it was now an oversized spearhead on a rod the length of his forearm.

Pleased with himself he tucked the weapon into the strap of his ninja pouch that hung waist level at his rear before stepping off the branch. Gracefully in mid-air, he twisted allowing his feet to trace an arc with his motions.

You almost would not have noticed the three kunai from his hand that flashed out, going straight for the crows he had seen earlier.

The blades all found their mark. Blood erupted from two of them...the last exploded into smoke.

Not good.

Kakashi bounced off a tree and hit the ground with a running start.

He knew where he had to go. The strange lady had pointed him in a direction after his battle; to Wave country.

But...

This was definitely not good.

Someone knew where he was.

Someone was tailing him.

For god knows how long, someone had the perfect opportunity to kill him while he was in a sleep so deep it could only be caused by chakra exhaustion.

Quickly, he pushed down the fear that was rising back up his throat like cheap alcohol after a night of bad decisions.

Somewhere in his wealth of experience was a method to deal with this. He may be only an adolescent boy on the outside but on the inside he was a man approaching midlife crisis...or had been at least.

He was not dead yet. That meant he was more useful alive. Had this 'father' of his changed the kill order on him? Had the way he saved Sai got through to him that he was no enemy of Konoha?

Or perhaps it was a Konoha ninja who did not take his orders from Sakumo. Someone from the general forces. Perhaps this one had his orders from the Third exclusively.

However, even though he did not want to believe that the Third would issue a 'kill on sight' order, Kakashi decided to move on the somewhat safer, more paranoid side of caution. All leaf ninja would be avoided, until he was sure Sakumo did not want a knife slipped in between his ribs.

That was why he was moving in this direction, toward wave country, hoping that it remained as he remembered it.

His feet carried him swiftly along the ground before he jumped back into the trees, trying not to disturb anything.

The few times he did stop to catch his breath and check for any pursuers, he could not see, smell or hear anyone.

He made it to the small village from which he could be ferried to wave country without incident a day later yet with a hunger so fierce even tree bark looked mildly appetizing.

However eating could only be a tertiary concern for the moment. Every second he spent in the land of Fire was a second where his crazy 'father' could cut him down, not that he had the worst excuse to.

Kakashi hadn't been a virgin by age thirty one. By the time he left Anbu and became a jounin he'd regained some measure of humanity, learning how to cope with the grief of losing the few people he truly cared about in the space of only a few years. The ladies across the elemental nation also loved them some tall, mysterious and dangerous man. A cool scar also helped. Back then he had been the envy of his fellow leaf ninja. They decided that it was alright for him to hide his face behind a mask if only so that they had a chance to score too.

The point was that Kakashi was definitely not a virgin, but he had been careful enough so that unwanted responsibility did not come knocking on his door one day.

So even he would be pretty skeptical if his son had shown up one day, armed, dangerous and holding the kekkei genkai of one of the Leaf's most powerful clans.

For a ninja of his skill it was easy to steal a random large piece of cloth from the street stands using the hiding with camouflage technique, before ducking into an empty alley to don it as a cloak that covered his shock of silver hair. The transformation technique would only single him out in the eyes of any dojutsu wielder and sensor, and if anyone so much as bumped into him...

After that it was a quick walk to the small harbour where tiny boats with tall wind-blown sails rocked about on the evening tide.

One man was all he needed, an unassuming man, preferably a bit slow on the uptake, yet without a temper. He found his target when a few little children snuck up to a man who sat with his feet hanging out over the seawater as he worked on his fishing net. The children's leader separated himself from his pack, an earthworm held gingerly in his hand.

Moments later the man was yelping and reaching down his back while the children giggled hysterically as they scurried away. Rather than rage at the insolent prank, the man only gave a half-hearted attempt at chasing them. Once they were away he began to really work on getting that worm out of his shirt. When he turned back to his boat, that was the moment when Kakashi melted out of the throng of people and stood near him.

"Kids these days huh?" he began.

The fisherman turned to face him, holding the worm. "Aye, but let them have their fun. Ye ne'er know how much it counts til it's gone." He bent a little and squinted to get a good look of Kakashi's hooded face. Kakashi only bothered to hide the sharingan by shutting his eye.

"Looks like ye' has some idea of what I'm talking about, eh? Well? Whaddaya' want?"

"I need you to ferry me to the land of Waves."

"Ya got the coin to pay for the voyage?"

That was the moment when the man could have sworn he saw a flicker of red from under the kid's scarred eyelid, but as soon as it registered, a haze settled over his mind and the fisherman realized how inconsequential that fact was and that it was better off forgotten.

"Why don't I just pay you when we arrive?" Kakashi asked politely while holding a hand signal beneath his cloak.

"Sure, that works," the fisherman replied, his eyes unfocused as if he had just woken up from a deep satisfying sleep.

Kakashi would have offered his 'gratitude', if not for the startling interruption.

"YOU!"

It took all of Kakashi's will to turn around most casually with the rest of the crowd, and not identify his attacker and then make a hurried escape. As it was, a kunai was gripped extremely tightly under his cloak.

The centre of attention was thankfully some angry fisherman with a bloody ear stalking towards another fisherman. "Oi! Think this is funny, huh mate?" The wounded one pushed the other roughly.

"What are you on about?!"

"Don' play dumb. You think it's funny? Mangling some bloke's ear with a stone?"

"I don' know what you're talkin' about but you better back off before I finish the job with my fists!"

Those words were all the wounded fisherman needed to hear before he started swinging. Raining meaty fists down on each other they fell into wooden stand amidst wild cheers of the crowd and the bellows of the stand owner.

"Dang...must be them kids, if they're goin' this far, it might be time to put 'em back in line." Kakashi turned to face the man he had business with. "Well, we best be on our ways. I bet you're in a hurry, young'un."

"Yes...I am," Kakashi replied, suddenly infinitely more wary of his surroundings. In this kind of chaos, the needle bearing deadly poison could come flying from anywhere, the knife that could stab him in the back be in any hand.

He was glad to leave his back to the open ocean once they cast off, though even then the unease did not wear off.

Relaxation was key. His heart was not hammering inside his chest, but his white-knuckled grip on his kunai was so tense it hurt. That was not going to help his food-deprived state at all.

For the first thirty minutes, the journey proceeded in silence for the most part. Waves lapped up against the side of the boat and his mind, yet not even the somewhat rhythmic rocking of the boat could calm his soul. He had to work with the assumption that something was wrong. That was what his instincts screamed.

Out here in the middle of the ocean in a tiny boat, there were few things that could be wrong. His one open eye snapped up to focus on the man responsible for his transport.

No killing intent. He sensed no killing intent at all.

"Somethin' on my face lad?" the man asked.

Kakashi stared from the other side of the mast for a few more seconds before turning away. "Ah no, just got carried away with my thoughts."

"Lad like you looks like he got the world on his shoulders. And with a scar like that, I'm prepared to believe it."

The boat rocked violently forcing Kakashi to put his hand on the hull behind him to steady himself. The hull of the boat that his shadow draped over.

"It's nothing special. Sooner or later we all run into trouble, right?"

"Too true lad, too true."

"Mind if I add to your troubles?" Then a hand fell on Kakashi's right shoulder.

Kakashi did not even spare it a thought. Without looking his right hand with the kunai lashed out behind him. The hand on his shoulder was not slow either as it grabbed his wrist and twisted before its twin pushed Kakashi down by the neck; a textbook hold.

Kakashi's bag of tricks did not end there, and he would have used them, were he able to move his body that is, at all. It wasn't just the arm hold. His entire body was bound by some invisible force. His muscles tensed and relaxed but that was all they could do in a fixed position.

He heard someone exhale loudly behind him. "Whew...damn, I need to keep track of time when I use that technique."

"There a modified barrier seal so that you don't flip out on us." Kakashi felt a piece of paper placed in the middle of his back. The man who just immobilized him stepped gingerly around him to confront the fisherman, who was so shocked to see a man rise up from someone's shadow that he could only flap his mouth open and closed like a fish. "Sorry pal, need you to take a nap. I'm about to talk about super top secret shinobi business with this kid."

From his position where he was forced to stare at the floor boards between his two feet, Kakashi could only see the pale green trousers and geta of what appeared to be an impressively large man.

He heard a slight gasp, followed by the sound of a body hitting the floorboards and the boat owner's head landed between his feet.

"So...you've grown...smaller? Does that work? It does not sound quite right, does it?"

Kakashi had never forgotten that voice, not even for a second.

"No, wait. I got it, let me start over.

"It's been a long time, Tadashi."

A strange silence followed with Kakashi wondering just what were the appropriate words to respond to the mangling of his name and Jiraiya nodding to himself, satisfied at having made an impressive entrance.

"Now now, I know you're in shock but let me explain everything." the old sannin said.

"I'd be more in shock if you said my name correctly," Kakashi managed to mumble.

Jiraiya smacked his forehead in disbelief. "Damn it. And I was so sure I had it. Was I close? I've actually been rehearsing this moment for a while."

"You were off by the first two syllables."

"Hmm...Kawashi?"

"Warmer."

"Mawashi?"

"Oh god no, colder."

"Then Watashi."

"Why would I...it's Kakashi."

"Kakashi! Thats the one! Told you I knew your name! You forget a few things when you live as many years as I have, but the name of a valuable comrade who once fought alongside you is not one of those things!" Jiraiya said with a boisterous laugh.

"But you did forget, and I'm actually quite uncomfortable here...if you could just-"

"Naturally when you have to memorise every little detail of an information network, remembering such little things are no problem."

"Little?"

"Remembering the names of all the pretty girls who are so irresistibly drawn to me is no problem too, but that's another story altogether."

"Listen to me…"

They were interrupted by what sounded like the unfurling of great wings to Kakashi's ears. A large shadow passed over them before Kakashi heard wood creak ever so slightly behind them.

"Jiraiya-sama, you're rambling again," a soft but stern female voice said.

The paper tag was pulled off of him and Kakashi stumbled out of his awkward position, nearly falling over the unconscious fisherman.

He turned his head to look at the new arrival, finding it to be a woman wearing standard Leaf Anfu BDU with jet black hair that was tied into a ponytail and large eyes with pupils as dark as her hair. Even though she wore Anbu gear, she had the leaf hitai-ate on her forehead, one whose symbol had a line engraved across it.

"I apologise. The years have not been kind to him. As expected age regression only delays senility."

"Itachi-chan?!"

"...Itachi?" Kakashi needed to think for a moment.

Itachi bowed before the white haired boy. "Yes, its been a long time, Kakashi-senpai."

Kakashi sat down. He needed to think for a long long time, and even then, he was not sure he could comprehend this.

"Told you it would shock him," Jiraiya snickered on the other end of the boat.

Itachi sighed, and held 'her' hands under 'her' bust whose curve showed even through the Anbu armour. While it hammered home the revelation that did not mean it made it more acceptable. "Of course, it would come as a shock. I myself was shocked when I woke up like this."

Kakashi held up a hand. "Please stop talking." He glanced at the both of them before squeezing his eyes shut. "You're the Jiraiya I know, and you're...supposed to be the Itachi I know?"

"Why? Is there something wrong, Kakashi-senpai? You're looking a little pale."

"No, no, no, no, my reaction is completely understandable. I mean- you're-! Oh my god…" Kakashi turned his eyes away again when he noticed how long they lingered on the wide curve where Itachi's waist became her hip.

"Just give me a minute to come to terms with it please," Kakashi pleaded. But when he opened his eyes, there she was in all her feminine glory, bending right over him. Kakashi's sharingan locked onto her and against his will, recorded everything it could in a memory that would be impervious to the rigours of time. From her slightly dry lips that were nevertheless still full and pink, to the small cleavage that revealed itself when her Uchiha style collar hung just low enough.

"You don't look too good, Kakashi-senpai. Could you be developing a fever?" And suddenly their foreheads where against each other. Kakashi swallowed...quite audibly.

"You know Kakashi-senpai," Kakashi noted how her voice dropped an octave, how it became husky, "I always wanted to tell you this back in the other world, but I never could. But maybe now…" her finger pushed his chin up, and he could feel her breath through his mask. He could smell her. "Here, in this place and me looking like this now, maybe we could…"

Kakashi was not a virgin, but not even he had the experience to deal with such a situation.

That was when Jiraiya burst into laughter, a hearty laugh that came straight from the belly and echoed across the water.

"Oh man, Itachi-chan have...have mercy on the poor boy, HAHAHAHA!" The old man actually struggled to get that out. "You should see your face!"

"Jiraiya-sama, you did not have to laugh so soon. I could have kept it going for a while longer." Itachi said straightening herself.

Kakashi blinked. Once again, he was missing something.

"..what?"

Itachi's eyes never left his, but now Kakashi could see a gleam in those coal black orbs. The corner of one side of her lips was also just barely raised.

"My apologies, Kakashi-senpai. I am not the Itachi you knew. All I know of you is what Jiraiya-sama has explained to me."

The realization that he had been had hit hard and it his fast. He buried his face in his hand and did his best to ignore the sound of Jiraiya guffawing. His cheeks felt so warm, it felt like his mask would go on fire and he cursed the raging hormones of thirteen year old boys.

"May I still reserve the right to call you Kakashi-senpai?" Itachi asked innocently. It didn't matter, Kakashi did not believe it one bit.

"Yeah sure," he waved it away, unable to even look at her unless he wanted his ears to give a stark contrast against his hair. "Listen, can I, can I just get an explanation? I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm in a world I don't understand and I'm probably still being hunted by the man who is technically my father."

Jiraiya managed to calm himself down before speaking up.

"You met that mystical lady, didn't you?"

Kakashi nodded slowly.

"Well this, us being here? It's all her work. She brought us both here, each in a somewhat different way.

"'Here' is an alternate universe, similar to ours in many ways and different in many others. Same in that the old man is still Hokage. A difference would be Itachi-chan here. I can't think of why she would be born a girl other than the fact that her parents fucked at a different time."

Kakashi nodded slightly to himself. Yes, this was the Jiraiya he knew. Blunt and always practically asking for the killing intent to be aimed at him. The way Itachi fingered her kunai pouch was not subtle.

"Why were we brought here? I thought you'd never ask. Simply because there's some world destroying calamity on its way and powers beyond our comprehension need us to prevent it from occurring. Did you get all that?"

Kakashi nodded again. "Most of it. So...when you say world-destroying calamity, how bad are we talking here?"

"The safe guess would be humanity being wiped off the face of the earth," Jiraiya said.

Kakashi could feel that headache coming on. "Ok, and do we know what that calamity is?"

Itachi took over the explanation. "No, only a few leads. Jiraiya-sama has been here for years. He was brought back during the sannins' battle with Hanzo of the Salamander. Since then he has done what he could to avoid this cataclysm and I've helped but…"

"The fact that you're here means we still have a lot of work to do," Jiraiya finished.

The journey continued when Itachi took over role of steering them to Wave country. It was decided that they should continue in that direction, especially since the lady had directed them there.