She was gone.
She wasn't here, and she was probably dead. The very thought of Annie being dead ripped my heart open. If she was dead, I would never see her again. I'd never be able to touch that silky soft brown hair again, never be able to gaze into those emerald eyes, never be able to kiss those beautiful lips again. The thought rips a fresh sob from my chest. I twirl my hospital bracelet around my wrist. Mentally Disoriented, it said. I'm not crazy. I've just got a broken heart.
How could I have done this? I know it's my fault. It was selfish. I put Annie right in their hands. And for what? Just because I didn't want to be a freaking prostitute for the Capitol anymore? I guess it worked out. I got what I wanted. But I lost Annie, who means more to me than my dignity. Hell, Annie is my dignity. And she's gone. I might as well still be a prostitute, now that my dignity is gone.
Maybe I am going crazy. I'm curled up in a corner crying and muttering to myself. Oh, and don't forget about the stupid rope. My grip tightens on the length of rope i've been clenching in my fingers. Sometimes the rope is all that's left of my sanity. Twisting it through my fingers and clumsily making knots with it helps me keep my mind off of the inevitable. It's not helping much right now. I throw the rope on the floor and bury my face in my knees. After crying for a few minutes, I reach over and pick the rope back up. I desperately knotted and twisted, but it didn't help at all. He's back, I thought to myself. The person I was after the games.
She wouldn't stop calling to me. Finnick, she would say, Why did you let me go? I can't answer her. I watch as she is tortured, and eventually killed, all the while calling to me. But I can't do anything about it. This is worse than anything Snow could ever have concocted to scare me into prostitution. Even though it wasn't technically me that killed her, it was. It was my trident. My trident that stabbed her. My trident that pierced her heart. My trident that killed so many before her in the games. It was my trident. It was me.
I recede from my foggy world inside my head only because I recognize the screams that pierce the air around me. They're my own. I'm screaming, shrieking, even. The yells bring in the doctors. They have a needle, which only makes the screams worse. Then Katniss rushes in and tells me something that makes me go back into my foggy world. They were only nightmares, she said. But that only makes it so much worse, because they weren't only nightmares. It was real. At least, in my world. Then the fog gets so thick I barely feel the needle pierce my skin. The screams turn into wails, which turns into cries that turn into sobs, then they become more and more distant until they're gone.
A/N: REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! please. is it too short? I think it is. :/