Born In Fantasy, Twisted By Reality: Goodbye To Innocent

Stepping off the bus, she shielded herself from the downpour as best she could and ran towards cover. What was she doing running away? Wasn't this the best she could hope for? A loving guy who would do anything to take care of her. Why couldn't she return his affection? She was a walking disaster; she should be thrilled that anyone would be willing to put up with her. Stepping back out to the open sky, she let the heavens shed their tears on her. She was so tired of shedding her own. Tilting her face up, the rain pelted her face; she closed her eyes against the onslaught, taking the punishment.

The guy that she had loved for four long years was going to be married, she had to let go, let go of the dream of a happily ever after with him. But neither could she settle with someone else, just for the sake of never being alone. She had plenty of flaws but being cruel, to tie someone down with their love when she knew she didn't feel the same way, that she could not do. She would call him tonight, and explain as best she could, and hope that one day he would find someone deserving of his love. Right now, she would indulge herself a little longer, letting the rapid drops against her skin soothe her aching heart. Hoping that somehow, the rain would wash away her love for him.

She pulled her coat off and stood with her arms out, letting the rain soak through her, pleading for the storm to chase away her impossible feelings. She would be strong, for once in her life, she would do something right. Suddenly the rain stopped their assault and she opened her eyes to the night sky. She found herself staring at the metal framework of an umbrella. She followed the shiny metal pole down to see a familiar hand gripping the handle. She followed the hand up the arm to the face, the familiar stern expression glaring at her.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked her in that accusing tone that made her feel like she was five. He picked up her tan trench coat and handed it to her. She folded the wet mass over her arm and dropped her eyes from his face.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, dazed by his sudden appearance.

"Isn't it obvious? There's no way you would do something sensible and remember to take an umbrella with you." He sneered at her.

"I don't need one, I was just headed home." She stepped out from under his nylon shield and headed towards the direction of a house that would soon no longer be home. His long legs caught up with her easily and she found herself under his shield again.

"Are you trying to get sick?" He accused her again.

"No." Came her soft reply, she kept her eyes on the pavement, the rain turning the surface into glossy black that glittered prettily under the street lights. He stopped her with his free hand and handed her the umbrella. Confused she took it and he shrugged out of his coat. When she realized his intention, she shook her head at him, handing the umbrella back and resumed the walk home. She was too tired to deal with his rare displays of kindness. It only confused her more; she needed to stop allowing him to twist her up inside. He caught up with her again and threw the coat over her shoulders.

"I don't want to have to deal with you coughing every night for the next week." He roughly explained as he threw an arm over her and pulled her tight against his side as they walked. She grabbed his fingers that were resting on her shoulder and pulled his arm off of her.

"I won't. I'm moving out tomorrow, you don't need to be concerned that I'll keep you awake." She walked slower, hoping he would get annoyed and just leave, didn't he know that he was killing her. She'd felt like her heart was growing smaller and smaller each day and soon she would have nothing left. Couldn't he allow her to save what was left of her?

"Is this because of that guy? Are you moving out to be with him?" She stayed silent and quickened her pace; if he wasn't going to leave then she would just have to get home quickly. He followed her relentlessly, his legs doing an easy stroll as her own pattered rapidly on the slick pavement.

"Hey!" He pulled her to a stop when it became apparent that she was not going to answer him.

"Didn't you just meet up with him? What did you say to his proposal?"

"That's not your business." She pulled her arm free and kept walking. A long silence dragged on between them. In all honesty, it was relief when he wasn't talking, usually he only spoke to her to reprimand her or correct her.

"Do you like him?" He questioned suddenly. She continued to ignore him, why was he curious about this? It was out of character for him. He pulled her to a stop once again, turning her to face him.

"Just because he likes you doesn't mean you have to like him! Can you like someone so easily?" This was what she was used to with him, him yelling at her for her flaws or mistakes, him always thinking the very worst of her. Tears came welling at her eyes, why did he have to tear her down at the worst possible moments.

"No! No, I don't like him and I'm not going to marry him, okay? Is that okay with you? Do I have your permission to do that? Could you please just leave me alone now? I'm so tired of doing this with you, just leave me alone for today and you'll never have to see me again. If I see you at school, I promise I won't say anything, I'll be the perfect stranger." She felt herself verging on hysterics as she shouted at him against the noise of the falling rain. She gulped in a big breath of the cool night air and scrunched her eyes shut tight, trying to get a grip on her emotions.

"You don't want to see me anymore? How can we be strangers? You, you only like me. You can't like anyone else." He told her bluntly. She opened her eyes to find him peering confidently at her, like what he said was a matter of fact and not opinion.

"Yes I can, and I will. I'm tired of this stupid crush I've had on you. I have to move on, I'm not going to follow you anymore…" Her words were interrupted as his lips grabbed hold of hers. She went to pull away but he slid his fingers through her hair to hold her head in place as he continued kissing her. She began to think maybe he was trying to kill her. His soft lips moved smoothly over hers with the expertise of a lifetime of kissing. Her own quivered in their lack of experience, she could do nothing as he continued to press himself to her. Why was he doing this? Did he want to ruin her entire life? Was he trying to brand her lips so no other could ever compare to him? When he finally released her, she stumbled a step back.

"Don't ever say you'll be with someone else." He commanded as he pulled her in against him. She pushed off against him, stumbling back again. She reached up and slapped his face. The expression of surprise would have been downright comical if her heart wasn't so preoccupied with breaking apart.

"Don't ever do that again. You can't go around just doing whatever you feel like with me. I don't want to play this game with you anymore. You want to kiss someone, go kiss your fiancée." He yanked her back to him, gripping her arms painfully.

"I'm not going to marry her." She struggled against him; her tiny frame no match against his.

"That doesn't concern me, it has nothing to do with me. Let me go!"

"It has everything to do with you. Why do you think I'm telling you this? I can't be with her…because I only want to be with you." She stilled in his arms, her eyes finally meeting his. Tears flowed freely down her face, her heart stuttering inside. He leaned down to kiss tears off her face, loosening his hold on her. She was so confused. Why was he doing this, why was he saying these things? She spun out of his arms, away from his gentle kisses, turning her back to him.

"I can't." She said out loud, not entirely sure if she was saying this to him or herself. His hand reached out to her shoulder, but as soon as she felt the brush of his fingertips, she bolted. An all out run, away from him, away from everything. Maybe he wouldn't understand, but she wasn't just running away from him. Through his cold analytical eyes, she saw herself more clearly than ever. She saw a person that she didn't want to be. And being with him, that's all she would ever be. A weak, incompetent person that would forever spend her life being someone's doormat. She couldn't, she wouldn't do that anymore.

A/N: I know it seems like I'm being really harsh with her character but I really wanted her to grow up a bit more than they portrayed on the show. And I thought the whole marriage thing came way to early and I wanted some growth out of both the main characters first so that is what I'm attempting to do. I loved the show and I loved her sweet character but I'd like to change things up a little. Hope you enjoyed and please review. Oh, for anyone who has never heard of this show called Playful Kiss, it is available to watch on .