Author's Note: Seeing as I am absolutely desperate for more Glee (also, Klaine), I decided the best way to cope was to write my own fic. This is my first foray into the land of Glee fanfiction, and I hope you'll let me know how I'm doing. Also, yeah. My addiction to facebook led to me jumping on the fb! fic bandwagon. Enjoy!
If I owned Glee, Klaine would have already happened. ;)
Kurt Hummel is now friends with Blaine Anderson and two others.
(Blaine Anderson and Mercedes Jones like this.)
Wes Craven: And to think you never would have experienced this amazingness if you weren't such an awful spy. :p
(Blaine Anderson and David Hamilton like this.)
David Hamilton: How are you doing, by the way?
Kurt Hummel: I'm okay. Thanks, David. And Blaine, too, of course.
Blaine Anderson: It's nothing. Remember, you have my number if you ever want to talk. :)
Santana Lopez: you spy for like an hour and come back with three boyfriends? Dayum, I'm jealous.
(Brittany S. Pierce likes this.)
Brittany S. Pierce: Can we share?
Rachel Berry: Kurt, I feel I must caution you, as charming as they may seem right now, make sure you're very careful. The last thing we need is another Vocal Adrenaline. YOU! Why have you befriended him?
David Hamilton: You're comparing us to them? I'm offended...Vocal Adrenaline are (is? are?) a bunch of soulless automatons.
(Rachel Berry and 11 others like this.)
Kurt Hummel: See, Rachel? Calm the crazy. Blaine isn't Jesse.
Kurt Hummel: Also, Santana...go away.
Blaine Anderson: Who's Jesse?
Kurt Hummel: I'll text you.
David Hamilton: While you're at it, could you puhleeeeze make him stop listening to Teenage Dream? It's making Wes and I want to do unspeakably violent things. To him and/or Katy Perry.
(Wes Craven likes this.)
Blaine Anderson: Shut up and die, both of you.
(Kurt Hummel likes this.)
Wes Craven is losing his mind. Kurt Hummel, help. Seriously, I cannot deal with any more Katy Perry.
Wes Craven: And it's even worse now that you're facebook friends!
David Hamilton: You don't understand, Kurt. This is an emergency. It's been playing. On a loop. For a week. TAKE US AWAY WITH YOU, PLEAAAAASEEE.
Wes Craven: Possibly longer than a week. We can't even tell. The days are starting to blend together in a terrifying mix of skintight jeans and "no regrets, just love."
David Hamilton: And yet we hear about every Kurt-related regret he's ever had...
David Hamilton: Allow me to quote: "Did you see his eyes? He has the most gorgeous eyes..." or, or, "Oh my God, I grabbed his hand. I actually held his hand!" or, oh my God, this one's my favorite: "Did you see him watching us sing? Was he looking at me? Do you think he noticed that I waasljzdx.m,.zklfds
Blaine Anderson: Kurt, I am so sorry. Please, please, please ignore everything these idiots are saying. :S
Wes Craven: In case you couldn't tell, Blaine totally just stole David's iPhone while he was in the midst of typing that comment. And I would finish what he was saying, except Blaine is currently hefting a rather heavy-looking physics text in my direction. And I want to live.
Kurt Hummel: Ignoring the rest of that...how is it my fault that your best friend has an obsessive love for Katy Perry?
Mercedes Jones: For the record, white boy's blushin' so hard his face is about to catch fire. I'm right next to him. Just so you all know.
Kurt Hummel: MERCEDES. I WILL CUT YOU.
Mercedes Jones: Betch, puhleeze.
(Artie Abrams likes this)
Artie Abrams: What what what are you doing? (1)
Mercedes Jones: I'll tell you what he's doing. Living in DENIAL.
Kurt Hummel: Ugh, screw you all. David, answer the question.
David Hamilton: Wow, pissy much?
Kurt Hummel: Daviiiiiiddd... :(((
David Hamilton: Ugh...damn. I can't resist the pouty face. It's because he actually doesn't. Obsessively love Katy Perry, I mean. It's just that one song.
Wes Craven: I wonder why? *innocent smile*
Blaine Anderson: David, I swear, if you answer that question...
Wes Craven: Perhaps because that's the song he was singing when he met our dear, beloved spy? (PS, Blaine, you can't kill either one of us because you didn't tell me I couldn't say it. HA. HAHA. HAHAHA.)
(Tina Cohen-Chang and 14 others like this)
Santana Lopez: did you put your hands on him in his skintight jeans, Kurt? ;)
(Wes Craven and David Hamilton like this.)
Wes Craven: Oh, good God, we wish.
David Hamilton: Because then we wouldn't have to hear about Kurt's skintight jeans every. single. minute.
Wes Craven: OF EVERY DAY.
Blaine Anderson: God, I hate you two.
Wes Craven: WE LUBB YOU TOO, BLAINEYYY.
Blaine Anderson: One: Blainey? Never again. Two: Caps lock is not your friend.
Three, four, and five: My gaydar is very suspicious of you right now. Also, always.
David Hamilton: *with dignity* For your information, we are heteroflexible.
Santana Lopez: Wanky. ;)
Kurt Hummel: I feel that there is no way to respond to this.
(Quinn Fabray, N. Puck, Finn Hudson and 8 othersare now friends with Blaine Anderson and 2 others.)
Kurt Hummel: Why why why do you all feel the need to be complete creepers?
Sam Evans: I'm not creeping! I win! :D
Blaine Anderson: Truefax. *nods wisely* How are you doing, by the way?
Sam Evans: Pretty great, thanks. It's good to hear from you again, man. All of you, actually.
David Hamilton: Oh, hey, Sam, I keep meaning to mention...you. Are so...blonde.
Wes Craven: Yes. Excessively so, I would say.
(Blaine Anderson likes this.)
Kurt Hummel: OH MY GOD I KNEW IT!
David Hamilton: What brand of dye do you use, Sammy dear?
Mike Chang: What are they talking about...Sammy dear? ;)
Sam Evans: ...meh. Don't worry about it.
Quinn Fabray: *hugs Sam protectively*
Puck: where's the 'gag me' button?
(Santana Lopez likes this.)
Kurt Hummel: Ughhhh.
Blaine Anderson: :( Courage. It's going to be okay.
Mercedes Jones: What's going to be okay? Kurt?
Kurt Hummel: Cedes, don't worry about it.
Mercedes Jones: Prep school? Info?
Blaine Anderson: I'm sorry, Mercedes. It's not really my place.
Kurt Hummel: Mercedes, please. I promise, it's nothing.
Mercedes Jones: Just...text if you need me, then.
Blaine Anderson to Kurt Hummel: I'll see you tomorrow, 12ish?
Kurt Hummel: Really?
Blaine Anderson: Of course. :)
Kurt Hummel to Blaine Anderson: Thank you.
Blaine Anderson to Kurt Hummel: Courage.
Sam Evans thinks the glee guys did an awesome job today!
(N. Puck and 10 others like this.)
Mike Chang: I felt so bad. But at least she's staying.
(Finn Hudson, Artie Abrams, and 9 others like this.)
Mercedes Jones: And you looked so cute, Kurt! (hearts)
(Quinn Fabray, Brittany S. Pierce and 3 others like this.)
Kurt Hummel: Thank you, thank you. *bows*
Author's Note (again):
(1): Sassy Gay Friend, not me. Youtube it, it's beautiful.
If you guys like this, I'll do a chapter for each episode up to through the Christmas special, and then possibly venture into AU land for my own entertainment. Let me know!