Authors Notes: I was inspired to write this by real life events and by the Crystal Hearts contest by haikomori. Feel free to skip to the story after this point. It's right down there.

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy XIII. If I did, as much as I love the game, I would have written a few scenes different.

Thanks to SpiritAdept for beta reading my chapters and giving me more ideas for more chapters. Very special thanks to my sister and her boyfriend for inspiring this series of one shots in the first place. Please don't kill me for sharing, kk? :D

This is my first fanfic ever revealed to the public so be gentle.

Saturday morning. Or as close to morning as Lightning got on the weekends. After a week of busting her butt for the reorganized Guardian Corp trying to make the old Pulse cities livable, weekends were a wonderful relief. Time to just sleep off the stress.

That was the idea anyways.

In reality the distant sounds of some kind of scuffle drew Lightning out of her weekend coma prematurely. All attempts to re-initiate her hibernation were in vain. Well as long as she was awake she might as well get the day started. Maybe a shower would wake her up.

So to keep with normal habits she'd cultivated in her time in her new home, she threw her legs over the side of the bed and bare feet met the cold floor. Already her morning routine was interrupted as she immediately removed her feet from the freezing paneling. She'd forgotten that Pulse didn't have climate control and weather was whatever the atmosphere decided to dump onto them that day. Today it appeared it would be cold. Maybe she should have worn socks to bed that night. She only hoped it wouldn't snow…

A loud thump roused her farther from her coveted sleep from the direction of Serah's bedroom.

Her wish would not be granted today. There was definitely Snow.

A bit unsteady, the older Farron sister decided she would commandeer the bathroom before anyone else laid claim to it. So to greet the day, the groggy woman opened her bedroom door…and was welcomed by a pink blur rushing by then suddenly reappearing much closer.

The younger Farron girl backtracked and met Lightning's blank yet still somehow pleading look with her own mischievous grin. "Good morning, sis!" Serah chirped cheerfully and Lightning had to resist the idea of putting her recently rescued sister into a headlock for being such an obnoxious morning person.

Instead Lightning replied eloquently with something between a grunt and a "meh".

"Snow let himself in. He wanted to show me something," Serah continued, interpreting her sister's morning moods.

"Hey Sis! Looking good!" Snow interjected as he caught up to Serah, interrupting the explanation of why her weekend routine was destroyed today.

Now this one she had no qualms about putting into a headlock and forcing to the ground in submission. Especially since Lightning looked far from "good". Nothing about untamed, cow licked bed head matched with an over-sized t-shirt and flannel pajama pants deserved the observation of "looking good". Obviously he was mocking her. This would be remedied later.

Taking Lightning's lack of an answer to mean he was supposed to continue talking (an idea that was the exact opposite of what she wanted) Snow decided to relate that morning's adventure since he let himself in: "Serah pushed me off the bed again…" Now that did cause the corner of Light's mouth to tug upwards a fraction. That would explain the thump from earlier. Teach him to let himself in and scare Serah in the morning.

"So I heard." The first words out of Lightning's mouth this weekend of course would be some kind of deadpan snark.

"I wanted to give her behemoth kiss!" Snow exclaimed playfully as Serah scoffed in the background. He then looked down his nose with those obnoxiously lucid blue eyes twinkling with mischief. Like always. Like Serah's often did now. She knew he was a bad influence. "Do you want a behemoth kiss?"

"No."

The answer was short and left no room for arguing. So she thought.

"You sure?" Snow pushed, drawing out the last syllable like the moronic emphasis would change her mind.

"Yes."

"Come on!"

"No."

The path to the bathroom was now blocked by the big oaf's frame. Initial plans for the morning were shot. Time for a different route. Instead of doing what first came to mind, slamming the door and threatening all who dared defile the sanctity of her weekend with unimaginable pain and suffering, she instead shuffled past Snow and Serah into the kitchen.

Fortunately Serah had taken the hint and had forgone trying to initiate conversation with her older sibling until after eleven in the morning. Snow, being the good little lapdog he was, followed Serah back to her room.

However peace did not last. Only moments later did Lightning hear her sister shriek and there was yet another loud thump.

"Owwww. Ow ow ow! I landed on your belt!" Came Snow's wounded call.

"Serves you right!" Serah retorted.

"You're always so mean to me! You shove me off the bed! Like, a lot!

Okay, now her interest was piqued. Not to mention if Snow were to be trying something less than chivalrous, much ass kicking would be had. Lightning poked her head back down the hallway and saw Snow on the ground next to the bed, Serah perched triumphantly atop the mattress.

"What happened?" Lighting called to the room. On second thought, she was pretty sure she already knew what happened. Instead she shook her head to push the thought away. "Okay fine. Show me what a behemoth kiss is-" Snow immediately perked up at this request but was crestfallen as Lightning pointed to Serah and finished. "On her."

"I tried!" Snow exclaimed. "That's why I'm on the floor!"

"Now I really don't want one," Lightning muttered as she returned to her room. The door was shut with just enough force to let the other occupants of the residence know she was in no mood to be bothered. That was enough crazy for the morning.

Up less than an hour and things were not looking stellar. On top of that, she still didn't know what a behemoth kiss was.

Today was going to be one of those days.

So why is it that so often where there's Snow there's no Lightning? Simple. They just don't mix.

End Notes: Ah family. Gotta love 'em, right? Otherwise you're put in jail for murder. And that's not good for anyone. Hope you enjoyed it. Will be writing more adventures of the Farron/Villiers family so if you liked this keep a look out for more.