So this fan fiction was written based on a prompt of sorts. Someone said that "Since Ryan Murphy loves Chris/Kurt so much, he should have an episode where Kurt hallucinates and makes out with all the guys on Glee."

I mean, how epic would that be?

And so that is what I have written for you today. Enjoy.

GLEE

Kurt walked through the halls of McKinley, his head held high and a small grin on his face as yet another guy wolf whistled as he walked by. He giggled as he ducked into the choir room, where the Glee club was waiting.

"Kurt!" chorused a few of its members. "Kurt, come sit over here," said Mike Chang, patting the empty chair next to him.

"No, Kurt, over here, baby," said Sam. He winked at the other boy and Kurt almost flushed. He walked over to the blond and looked around.

"Sam, there's no empty seat next to you…" said Kurt. Sam smirked and pointed to his lap. Kurt laughed and sat down as daintily as it could. Sam's strong arms encircled Kurt as Quinn watched with jealousy from the other side of the room.

Sam pressed his lips to Kurt's neck, causing goosebumps to form instantly. Then he trailed up to Kurt's lips, kissing them soundly.

"Figures, blondes have all the fun," muttered Puck.

Sam chuckled against Kurt's lips, his hands dipping under Kurt's shirt.

"Kurt," he mumbled lovingly. "Kurt…Kurt….Kurt…"

Kurt jerked himself awake. A hand was firm on his shoulder. Kurt opened his eyes slowly. Everything was fuzzy and warm and wrong. He moaned.

"Kurt." It was his dad's voice. "You're burning up…"

And then Kurt was sleeping again. Or something like sleeping.

"Hey, Kurt," said a strong voice at his elbow. He turned away from his locker, closing it and looking up at Puck.

"Hello there, Puck," said Kurt with a raised eyebrow. "What do you want?"

"You, sweet heart."

Kurt laughed. "I'm with Sam, big boy."

"That fat lipped loser doesn't deserve you," said Puck. "And he has no idea how to rock a world like I can."

"Really now?" Kurt was unimpressed.

"Really." Puck grabbed Kurt's hand, his rough skin sliding against Kurt's smooth skin rather nicely. Kurt didn't protest - too much - as Puck pulled him into an empty classroom. Before Kurt could even think, Puck was pushing him up against the closed door and his lips roughly attacked Kurt's.

Kurt's heart pounded in his chest as he was pulled closer to Puck's hard body. His own hands were exploring the muscles on his chest, through his thin t-shirt. Soon, however, his hands were under the shirt.

Puck moaned and put his hands around Kurt's waist, suddenly lifting him up off the ground. Kurt followed his lead and wrapped his legs around Puck's middle as Puck's hands found his butt. Kurt's back painfully found the door, but he didn't care.

"Mhmmm," moaned Puck has he moved down to Kurt's earlobe. "You're burning up, Kurt. Burning up…."

"Kurt, you're burning up," came his father's voice above him. His eyes opened for a moment, Puck's hands leaving his body. "You have a fever. The doctors say it's causing hallucinations…Kurt, are you there? Kurt?"

Kurt was fading again. His brain was so fuzzy. It hurt. And his eyes were so heavy.

"Knock, knock?" Kurt looked up from his bed. Finn was standing in his doorway, slouching awkwardly.

"Finn, hi," said Kurt, standing and walking over to his step-brother. "Need something?"

Finn's cheeks reddened. "Well, you see, I was actually wanting to tell you something…I, well, you see…" Finn tripped over his words and stuttered. He stopped. Looked at Kurt. Then he raised his hand, shaking, to Kurt's cheek.

"I was wondering if you still had that crush at all?" asked Finn.

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Finn, I'm sorry, but I don't see you that way any more. You're my brother…"

"But Kurt -" Finn said as he leaned down to Kurt, about to put his lips on Kurt's.

Kurt held a finger to those lips that he had wanted to kiss for so long. That he had fantasized about for most of last school year.

"No, Finn, I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, kid," said a voice. "Hope that didn't hurt."

Lights blinded his eyes. He distantly knew he was on a stretcher. His nose smelled the strong smells of disinfectant and sickness. He groaned.

"Hold in there, Kurt," said his father. "Kurt?"

"Kurt!"

Kurt stopped and turned. Artie was rolling up nervously and settled beside him. He was on his way to his car.

"Yes, Artie?" asked Kurt.

"This is embarrassing…" said Artie. He was fiddling with the arm rest of his chair. "But, uh, Brittany and I don't really mesh…I don't know. She's ok, but…" Artie looked up at him and Kurt raised a knowing eyebrow.

"You're wondering what team you really bat for, eh?" asked Kurt with a giggle. Artie flushed. Kurt smiled and walked behind Artie, pushing his chair to a more secluded part of the school, just behind a wheelchair exit.

When they arrived, Kurt pulled the break on Artie's chair and then he sat on his lap. "I hope I'm not too heavy," said Kurt suggestively. He was pulling at Artie's bowtie, then the top most buttons on his shirt.

Artie gulped and shook his head. Kurt smiled and leaned in, kissing Artie soundly. He felt Artie take a deep intake of breath. Then he was kissing Kurt back with everything he had.

A while later Kurt leaned away from Artie, grinning. He reached up and straightened his glasses, which were askew. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tube of chapstick, rolling it on his lips slowly, staring at Artie. For good measure, he leaned over and rolled a layer on Artie's red and puffy lips.

"Hope that clears things up," said Kurt with a grin.

"It does clear things up." Artie's lips were moving, but the voice was not his.

Kurt jerked awake and his eyes flew open. A large man was standing above him. "Mr. Hummel, you're awake. Can you tell me how you're feeling?"

"Weird," said Kurt. His voice was strange. It was stuffy and nasally. "Why are all these guys throwing themselves at me?"

The doctor raised an eyebrow. "What is he saying?" It was his father's voice.

"I think it might be part of the fever and hallucinations…." answered the doctor.

"Why would Puck kiss me?" babbled Kurt. "I need to scrub my lips."

The doctor chuckled. "We'll be sure to do that for you, Kurt. For now, we're trying to bring down your fever."

"Too hot," whined Kurt. His eyes fluttered shut.

"Yes, too hot, Kurt," said the doctor's voice, but it was Tina's mouth who said it.

Kurt had his mouth firmly attached to Mike Chang's. He was currently running his hands up and down those delicious abs of his.

"She's right," mumbled Mike. He pulled Kurt downed and rolled him over, pinning him to his bed. "So hot."

"Best idea you ever had, Mike," moaned Tina.

Kurt rolled over again, quickly turning the tables. He kissed Mike, long and slow, then lifted his leg and rolled off the bed and onto his feet. "Tina, your turn," he purred.

"Finally," said Tina, standing. "Why don't you cool off a bit before the next round?"

"The next round ibuprofen should cool him off completely," said the doctor's voice again.

"And the hallucinations?" asked his father. "He was thrashing around just now…"

"They should taper down. Get less intense."

"This is so intense, Kurt," said Blaine. Kurt giggled and pulled him by his Dalton tie, attaching his lips to Kurt's own.

It felt right. More right than anything Kurt had ever experienced. This kiss wasn't a bit of fun or just a tease, it was everything Kurt wanted in a kiss. Blaine kissed back with just as much enthusiasm and yet there was a gentleness behind it.

Blaine's hand cupped the sides of Kurt's face, the other on his neck. Kurt's hands were glued to Blaine's clothes, his fingers gripping tightly, incase Blaine tried to disappear.

He didn't want this hallucination to disappear.

Kurt knew it wasn't real. He was on the edges of consciousness, halfway between this dream and the real world. Either could be real, but Kurt knew which one was the fake one.

It wasn't the one that Kurt wanted.

"Kurt," whispered Blaine's sweet voice in his ear. "Kurt…Kurt wake up."

Kurt's eyes fluttered opened. The first thing he noticed was that he wasn't hot anymore. He was sweaty and he ached everywhere, but he was back to a normal temperature.

The second thing he noticed was Blaine's face, hovering a few feet above him. His expression was one of concern, but also relief. "Are you alright, Kurt? Your dad called me…said you had a bad fever. You come back home for the weekend and this is what happens?"

Kurt didn't think at that moment. If he learned anything from the somewhat disturbing hallucinations of he, or his fellow male Glee clubers, throwing themselves at him, it was that dream Kurt didn't think before taking what he wanted. He was in control of his body and his urges. If he wanted to kiss a boy, he did it and was unapologetic about it.

That is why Kurt grabbed Blaine's tie and pulled his lips to his own, just like the hallucination.

It was a weak kiss. Kurt's muscles weren't moving right. He was slow and sluggish.

It was, however, completely perfect in that moment. Kurt wasn't going to say he saw fireworks and a chorus of angels, but he did get this wonderful fluttery feeling in his chest.

Blaine's hand came up to rest on Kurt's cheek for a moment and he kissed Kurt back. Slow and gentle.

Then he stepped back. "Well, I guess that means…you're feeling ok."

Kurt smiled up at Blaine, his eyes shining. "Better than ok. Now."

FIN

Oh my. So I have to scrub my soul after writing this. For the Kurt/Tina/Mike scene and the one with Artie, which I thought I would NEVER write, ever. So yeah. I hope you enjoyed it.

This must be the most hook ups in 5 pages of Word ever.