Disclaimer: It's been eaten in honor of this story. Sorry.

Monkey D. Luffy in…

King of the Cannibals

"Nyah…" the boy twitched in his sleep and rolled over so he was flat on his back. Water lapped at his bare feet, his sandals having been lost in the waves, and a beaten and worn hat lay next to him on the sand, still warm in the fading light. He didn't react to the sun, sea or anything on the beach. A crab crawled across his hand and he only moved it to scratch his belly.

Which rumbled in hunger and the boy sighed, drool starting to come out of his wide-open mouth.

"Sanji… I'm hungry… I want some meat…" he mumbled and continued to salivate excessively as he imagined the heap of food the irritable cook would eventually be pestered into making for him.

Things continued on this way, until the sun had disappeared over the horizon and the boy, Luffy, was spotted.

A population of natives that practiced their own peculiar traditions, so it seemed, inhabited this island, and when they spotted a strange boy lying sprawled on the beach of their island home they weren't sure what to think.

Each one of the dark-skinned islanders, all male, was outfitted in an array of dried leaves and plant materials. Their bodies were decorated in vibrant paints, so their faces were nearly unrecognizable as human. One of their scouts was the first to see the intruder and retrieved the rest of his hunting party. The spirits were with them this time.

They approached cautiously, realizing this was only a human like themselves, but hesitant all the same. A man coated with more intricately painted designs then the rest stepped right up to the boy boldly. His ears were weighed down with bone ornaments and his nose was likewise pierced through. All the natives leaned forward anxiously, grasping their spears and knives for added comfort.

The man took the butt of his own spear and in one swift movement prodded the strange black-haired boy in the side.

Luffy groaned, "Uh." But didn't wake up. The sound was enough for muttered words to rise up from the crowd of people. The lead man scowled and shot back an order in a strange, guttural language.

He poked the boy again and when it failed, the other islanders came forward as well. They all started to poke and prod Luffy in some way or another.

It took another five minutes, but he shifted restlessly in his slumber. Something kept on poking him and it disturbed his rest. His eyebrows knit together and he tried to ignore it. When that didn't work, Luffy burst into consciousness. His eyes snapped open and he went to a sitting position.

He rubbed his head and peered around in confusion, why were all these people staring at him? And why was he so sore?

At Luffy's awakening and his sudden movements, the natives hissed incomprehensibly and backed away. Only the man with bone decorations stayed where he was.

As the rubber boy scratched his head he realized in horror that his treasure was missing. He looked around wildly.

"Hat! Where's hat?"

Luffy's gaze fell on his beloved hat at long last and he grabbed it, shoving it onto his head. A big grin spread across his face. "Ah. I thought I lost you."

The natives were at a loss for words. They didn't know what kind of weird words this human was spewing or what he was doing here. What they did know was that there was a boy sitting cross-legged on their island and he was smiling like he'd found a dear friend.

Which, technically, he had.

He realized where he was for the first time since he'd woken up. Luffy cocked his head in confusion when he saw a bunch of half-naked men with body paint staring at him. "Nani? What going on?"

After a pause, the leader of the islanders spoke to Luffy in his native tongue. When the boy only seemed more confused he tried gestures that would've worked with anyone else, but this was Luffy we're talking about.

Grumbling in frustration the man turned to his comrades again. This man had to have come for a reason.

At that moment, Luffy's stomach growled. The natives jumped in surprise and leveled their spears at the black-haired boy. Their leader unsheathed his knife.

"Huh?" Luffy tried to stand up and fell over instead. He laughed at these weird men. "You guys are funny! Want to be my nakama?"

Silence, as the islanders determined him to be good for their purposes. They could finish what they set out to do and eliminate a possible danger in the process.

"Oi. Do you have any meat?" Luffy wondered aloud. He started to look around for any source of food.

He didn't get any further as the man with bone jewelry strode closer and brought out his knife again. Before Luffy could twitch a muscle, the bottom of the hilt struck him squarely on the head and he passed out cold.

It didn't take long for the natives to pick his slack body up and sling him over their shoulders as one would a slaughtered animal.

They raised their weapons and let out a jubilant cheer of triumph. There'd be a feast tonight.

0~0~0

When Luffy blinked awake he could feel a sense of warmth spreading from his belly and torso and throughout his whole body. He didn't understand why, but it sure felt nice.

He smiled sleepily and probably would have remained in a state of near comatose if his stomach hadn't suddenly got really hot that he could feel his skin burning. Luffy instantly became alert and glanced beneath him.

Flames licked upwards at the boy, hungry as a pack of starving wild dogs. They gave off a tremendous heat that only got hotter as time wore on and they were getting closer and closer to Luffy.

"Ahh!" he screamed and wriggled to get away from the inferno. "Fire! Not good! Not good! Hot!"

But Luffy's efforts were for nothing as his wrists, ankles and middle were tied securely to a thick wooden spit, similar to the kind you roast wild pigs on, with rope-like vines. However, his hat did fall down from its place on his back and hung from his neck within reach of the ravenous flames.

Luffy panicked and continued to yell, rocking back and forth on the huge branch. His eyes were wide and sweat beaded on his brow, sizzling when it touched the fire. The rubber boy swung again and managed to get his straw hat out of danger. But, he was still being roasted alive.

"Agh! Stop! Stop! STOP IT!" Luffy's voice rang out impossibly loud and the people roving about the small, jungle village halted in their activities and preparations for a celebration. Startled, they saw that the strange boy was trying to escape his bonds. The tremble of power in his words also made them jump, suddenly and irrationally afraid.

Then, with a giant burst of energy, Luffy heaved with all his strength, which wasn't much at the moment, and the wood finally loosened in its holders. The entire structure, including the spit and what kept it in place, came crashing down into the fire. Luffy rolled off and hit the ground with an oof!

The wind was knocked out of him and he was still struggling for breath when he noticed a searing pain behind him. Luffy turned around in confusion only to see that the back of his pants was alit with blue-white flames.

"Hotttttt!" Luffy yelled at the top of his lungs and tried to pat it out with his hands when it dawned on him they were tied to the bulky piece of wood.

In a panic, he writhed in the dirt, rolling this way and that to put out the fire on his backside. A good five minutes had passed by the time he had extinguished the last of the smoldering embers and quite a crowd of people had gathered at a safe distance, wondering if this odd man was right in the head.

Two more extravagantly dressed men preceded these onlookers and they waited with quizzical expressions as Luffy dragged himself to an awkward sitting position, the spit continuing to be attached to his body.

He puffed out his cheeks and exhaled a deep breath, "Whew! I thought I was a goner there!" Luffy wiped his forehead, checked that his prized possession was atop his head and stared at the elderly man who seemed as perplexed as he and a tad bit bemused.

"Eh?" Luffy wondered and tilted his head to the side. Why were these people staring at him? And what was up with the old man?

The old men opened his mouth and spoke, though the words that came out were incomprehensible gibberish to the rubber boy. In a language of its own and that he'd heard on the beach as well, Luffy sat there.

When he realized that the boy wasn't responding, the man repeated his question. Still no answer and the other man behind him shook his head.

"Ah," he realized that the stranger didn't speak their language. "Why do you interrupt feast?" the man embellished with feathers and stones tried again.

Luffy's eyes went wide with anticipation and his face brightened in its trademark grin. "Sugei! You're having a feast? What's there to eat?"

He was doing his best to contain his excitement when what the elderly man said next made his jaw drop to the ground.

"You."

"NANI?" Luffy exclaimed and strained at the vines that held him to the piece of wood. "I'm not food!"

At his response, the old man grinned an old man smile, baring crooked teeth. "Flesh of a man is a delicacy." A few of the other village natives nodded and smiled as well. Some of the younger men shifted impatiently.

The black-haired boy was still in the process of freaking out. "You eat people?"

The village elder lifted an eyebrow, "Usually that what it means."

"Ah!" Luffy's eyes bugged and he searched desperately for a way out. Even though he didn't really understand, he got the gist of what was happening.

Then he saw it.

A woven mat loaded with fruits, vegetables and above all, meat. The heavenly smell of cooked fowl, pig and deer was breathed in deeply by the starving Straw Hat. Almost unconsciously and driven by his hunger, Luffy got a hand free and stretched.

All the natives froze with shock and the women shrieked as his rubbery arm reached the food and grabbed an entire roasted bird. Luffy's arm snapped back and he dug in, making satisfied smacking sounds.

Everyone in the village watched in disbelief. Was this boy a monster sent to plague their tribe? They couldn't stop staring, but shuffled back apart from the two men at the front.

"Mmm!" Luffy grinned through a mouthful of meat, danger forgotten as he chowed down. "You sure are weird guys!"

He ripped some more meat away from the bone and the older man spoke again, a tad fearfully, "What are you?"

Glancing up in surprise, Luffy continued to smile broadly. He pointed a thumb at himself. "I'm Monkey D. Luffy! I'm going to be the Pirate King!"

The islanders frowned at that, only comprehending by the boy's actions, which were decidedly not the ones of someone sentenced to be devoured.

However, the elderly man was confused as well. He shook his head. "No. How you do that? Be you demon?"

"I'm a rubber man! See?" Luffy grabbed his cheek and pulled. Many of the village gasped as his skin stretched.

"Hm…" the feathered old man turned to the one behind him. They exchanged a few words, with the second man sounding decidedly disgruntled.

Luffy was almost done with his snack and was ready for more, when the first man addressed him again.

"I am Ashmal, chief of this tribe. That is my son, Ikaka." The old man gestured to his companion, the man outfitted in bone jewelry from before. He grunted and spit on the ground, suspicious eyes trained on Luffy.

The rubber boy swallowed, finishing the bird. "Ne, old man. Can I have some more food?"

Ashmal's eyes were curious and the rest of the natives appeared just as intrigued, apart from Ikaka. He waved for two young warriors to come forward.

"You a strange one, Monkey D. Luffy, king of a faraway land. I will spare you," the old man smiled slightly. "Untie him." He spoke in his native tongue.

With a simple gesture from their chief, the two warriors took out their knives. Luffy tried to get away, thinking they were going to kill him anyways.

"No! Wait-" he squeezed his eyes shut as he saw his death.

Snap! He felt circulation returning to his ankles and hand and the vines falling away from his middle. Bewildered, Luffy opened his eyes and saw that he was indeed free, the natives already returning the daggers to their sheaths.

He stood up and the wooden spit wasn't tied to his back anymore either. Rubbing his wrists to get the blood going, Luffy grinned at Ashmal.

"Thanks, old man!"

Giving him a bemused glance, the chief raised his arms above his head and shouted something in his language. He repeated it for Luffy's sake.

"Let us treat this boy as an honored guest! We will feast tonight!"

Luffy cheered in excitement with the rest of them, his mind not caring how he'd escaped this time.

0~0~0

Well into the night, the celebration was still at its peak. Everyone took part, even Ikaka laughed as Luffy waved a couple bones like he was trying to fly. The natives were astounded as the strange boy managed to eat through it all with hardly a pause. Their servers were hard-pressed to keep the food coming.

It was like a show and feast in one. Young, old and in between shouting, eating and laughing mostly because Luffy was the most festive of them all and they were amazed at his 'spirit given abilities.' The women and children couldn't resist stretching and pulling at his rubbery body.

Luffy couldn't care less and held a boisterous conversation with the village chief. It didn't matter that earlier these same people had attempted to cook and eat him. Or that their leader had mysteriously accepted him and even fed the ravenous boy.

He didn't even notice the lingering glances both father and son would send his way. The only thing that was dragging Luffy's spirit and mind down was the thought that this party was missing a certain group of people.

"Ahahaha!" Ashmal nearly fell over with laughter as the rubber boy told him of his adventures. "I wouldn't believe it if not for my own ears!"

The chief of the tribe was finding Monkey D. Luffy to be not only a good source of entertainment, but educational and useful as his speech was improving.

Seated at his left-hand side, Luffy nodded. "Yosh. He had these really long ears and there were all these weird animals. They tasted pretty good though."

These stories had attracted much mirth and Ashmal was no different, but this time he detected a sad note to the boy's tale.

He didn't have to ask what as Luffy took a bite out of a particularly juicy fruit and his mouth turned down in a slight frown.

"Oi, old man. Have you seen my nakama?"

The elderly man shook his head. "We have not eat- I mean, met any others besides yourself for weeks."

Luffy glanced at the mat they were sitting upon with a disheartened air.

"Really? There's a man with green hair and three swords, that's Zoro, a girl with red hair who likes money and hits people, Nami, a guy who carries around a purse and likes to tell stories, his name's Usopp, our cook who smokes and swears a lot, Sanji, a reindeer with a pink hat, Chopper, a dark-haired archaeologist, her name's Robin, a cyborg who wears a Speedo, that's Franky and a talking skeleton named Brooke."

Ashmal could only shake his head regretfully again. "We have not seen any who meet those descriptions."

"Oh…"

Seeing the boy so downtrodden, the island chief remembered the reason why he had this feast to begin with. A smooth smile came to his face and he placed a warm hand on Luffy's arm.

"Monkey-kun," Ashmal started. Luffy looked up to see a cocoa colored face with feathers in his hair, bits of bones through his ears and an inviting smile. "We have a surprise for you."

"Huh?" Luffy wondered, but the older man had already taken him by the hand and was leading him around the mats stacked with food and between the scattered natives. They weaved through the crowd until they got to the front.

There was a large throne perched on a raised patch of ground at the forefront of all the celebration. It was carved from a dark, mahogany wood with exquisite workmanship and it was here that Ashmal brought Luffy.

Before the boy could utter any questions, the old chief plopped him onto the throne, and raised his arms to his people to get their attention.

Every pair of eyes gradually traveled to rest on Ashmal and Luffy even though their leader hadn't spoken a word yet, of their own or the boy's. It was as if they were already fully aware of what was about to occur.

Luffy squirmed uncomfortably on the giant throne, questions bursting at the tip of his tongue when the elderly man boomed… a collection of deep, slurring sounds that caused the rest of the natives to shout and drums were beaten in the background.

"They're calling you their king, Monkey-kun," Ashmal smiled and the boy frowned.

"Really?"

He nodded and gestured to Ikaka, a smooth flicking of the fingers. "Yes, but there is one thing you need to do before you become so."

If Luffy wasn't lost before, he was now.

"Nani? But, I need to get back to my nakama-"

"Ikaka!" Ashmal shouted over the ruckus and over the rubber boy's excuses.

In one motion, Ikaka brought out a large shape wrapped in banana leaves with the help of a young warrior, barely a man, and took off the covering to reveal what was inside.

The cheering of, "Jia! Jia!" which must've meant king in the villagers' native tongue, rose to a clamorous summit up to when the package was unveiled and Luffy gasped in shock.

Horror was evident on his youthful face, as the boy clasped his straw hat for assurance that he was indeed there. His eyes glanced anxiously at an excited Ashmal before they returned the unnerving sight of an artfully prepared human corpse.

Yet, no matter how nicely it was displayed, none of Luffy's revulsion at seeing what was left of a man's rugged face, roasted and grilled amidst exotic fruits, leaked away. None of the vegetation hid the torn hole in his torso where he must've been skewered and Luffy could only stare.

His first reaction might have been that it was cool. In fact, usually that would be his reaction to anything, as his crewmates would testify, but this… he had come so close to ending up like this. What a humiliating way to die and Luffy was sad for this unfortunate, unnamed man.

"Oi, old man. I-is this a real man?" Luffy didn't need to ask, but he felt it was necessary and he clung to a shred of hope that it wasn't true.

There was no sound from the watching natives, including Ikaka and the young warrior. Ashmal was gazing at him expectantly, an almost proud smile on his withered lips.

"Yes. It is honor to take part of the flesh of the spirits." He bowed his head and looked like he honestly believed what he was saying.

But Luffy didn't.

Anger flashed in his eyes as he instinctively began to back away from the body. He glared at Ashmal, Ikaka and every other native.

"How could you?" Luffy whispered, staring at the ground and shadows over his face. Then his voice rose to a thunderous roar. "HOW COULD YOU?"

Standing up, he drew back an arm and prepared to kick all their asses until his fury was gone and they were beaten to a pulp.

Then the chief took action, "Seize him!"

A literal sea of warriors converged on Luffy and he started to fight them all back. It worked for a little while, when, suddenly and unexplainably, he could feel his strength leave him. He slumped over in the tight grips of two burly village men with spears and they dragged him back to the throne.

Weakly and still held down by warriors, Luffy gave Ashmal a look filled with rage and hurt. "Why?"

"It is our way and will also be yours," the old man replied grimly. He turned around and came back with a meat-encrusted bone from the human corpse. "Eat Monkey D. Luffy."

The man's flesh was drawn closer and closer to Luffy's mouth and he struggled uselessly.

"No! No! I need to return to my nakama!" Ashmal had the human bone by his cheek now. "I won't eat it! I won't!"

"Eat!" the chief demanded and the other villagers took up the mantra, chanting it louder as the man's flesh nudged his lips and Luffy zipped them tight, twisting his head wildly.

The stuff was about to enter his mouth when a shock coursed through Luffy, like he'd been electrified… or kicked. His vision faded and he could hear voices…

0~0~0

"Luffy! Oi, shithead!" Sanji yelled and kicked the snoring boy in the ribs again. "Get off your lazy ass!"

The rubbery captain of the Straw Hat crew had fallen asleep on the head of the Thousand Sunny and consequently missed lunch. It was almost unheard of by any of his crewmembers, but they'd let him be. Until now, when Sanji had to rouse him, after all he'd cooked extra, expecting Luffy, and no one wasted food while he was the cook.

"Damn it, Luffy!"

Finally, Sanji's third kick got Luffy to stir. He groaned as he staggered into the realm of the conscious before his eyes suddenly shot open and he bolted upright, falling off the Sunny's head in the process.

Rubbing his head where he'd just gained a big bump, Luffy sat on the deck and looked around before he saw Sanji. "Nani? What is it, Sanji?"

Sanji's eyebrow twitched at how clueless Luffy was, but at least he was awake now.

"You missed lunch, shithead." The cook shoved a plate with a single piece of meat on it, steaming and fresh out of the oven. He set it on the ground and gave Luffy another glare. "Don't even ask for more. It was your own damn fault you slept through a meal."

With a last murmur of 'shitty captain,' Sanji turned on his heel and walked away. He didn't stay to see Luffy dig into his food with his normal gusto and rudeness.

However, that didn't happen.

Luffy stared at the plate of meat in front of him as if it was a poisonous snake about to bite him. He stayed this way for several more seconds with eyes as wide as saucers.

Then, he abruptly leaped up and pointed accusingly at the meat on a bone, "Agh! Stay away from me!"

He screamed and raced off in the opposite direction as fast as his feet would carry him. No way was he going to eat that! He wouldn't fall for the same trick twice.

Zoro and Usopp watched with absolute disbelief, so total that they stayed frozen in their positions for minutes after Luffy had vanished following his frantic outburst. Usopp had been making more pachinko after their last battle. Zoro was training and making sure Luffy didn't fall into the sea while he slept. He'd nearly dropped a 400-pound weight on his toe when he and Usopp saw Luffy's reaction, to meat of all things.

They twitched, freed from their momentary paralysis. The swordsman glanced at the sniper.

"Oi, do you know what just happened?" Zoro asked, a befuddled expression on his stern face.

Usopp blinked and shook his head, "I have no idea."

0~0~0

Author's Note: Introducing… *drum roll please* Bizarre Scenarios! And now Luffy is inexplicably afraid of meat… This is the first in a series of nine short stories, each containing one of the Straw Hat pirates as the main character. Some may contain them away from the others, like in this one, and others may have them interacting with their crewmembers more.

I hope you enjoyed this first one, starring our lovable, huggable Luffy. There will be more to come, hopefully one per week, though I'm always more motivated when I get reviews from you guys. Next up is Zoro as I'm trying to do it in the order they joined the crew. What will happen when someone tries to fix his bad attitude? Find out in the next bizarre scenario! Your thoughts and criticism are loved and thank you ever so much for reading!

Edit: I've gone over some minor edits in this chapter and now believe it's free of errors. Yay! :D But feel free to point out any additional mistakes in grammar for any of the chapters.