Hey guys and gals. This is my first fanfiction so please be nice Criticism is always helpful, and i will appreciate it all. Let me know what you think of the story and if you think I should continue.

Disclaimer – I don't own any Vampire Academy, but I wish I did! Richelle Mead is fantastic!

Chapter 1.

My name is Rose Hathaway and I am 21 years old, however, the world now knows me as Marie Mazur. I grew up training to become a guardian for my best friend Vasilisa Dragomir – the last Dragomir alive. Unfortunately, when I was 16, my life started changing. First I was hit with a lust charm that almost made me lose my virginity, even if it was to the love of my life, which kept me occupied while my best friend was kidnapped and tortured by her psycho uncle, Victor Dashkov. Luckily, Dimitri managed to work out what was going on and we saved her in time, but not without injuries first. After Dimitri told me he had no feelings towards me, I confronted Victor in Jail to find out while my feelings were still there for Dimitri. Whilst arguing with Victor, his daughter had willingly turned Strigoi and attempted to kill me. Luckily for me, Dimitri showed up just in time to save my life. He even admitted to me that he did have feelings for me, but that we couldn't act on it, because it would jeopardise Lissa's safety. Fast forward a few months and there was the massacre Dimitri and I walked into. It was horrible.

I thought that would be enough horror in my life. Unfortunately, I was wrong. The horror was just getting started. After the massacre, the Academy sent us all to the ski lodge for safety. Dimitri and I kept fighting while we were there; I guess we were both struggling with our feelings. I shouldn't have been thinking about my feelings for him, because I was seeing Mason Ashford. One of my best friends since kindergarten.

One night Dimitri finally confided in me about a strigoi sighting he had been informed about. I guess it was his way of showing me he really does see me as an adult and not a child. Stupidly, I told Mason all about it. After an argument with him, he decided to go and find the strigoi and go on a killing spree. We were young and thought we were invisible. We didn't know how dangerous strigoi were at the time. Once I realised he was gone, taking Mia and Eddie with him, Christian and I went to find them and make them return.

Unfortunately, we were captured, by strigoi of course! It was horrible. They fed off Eddie and starved Christian and Mia of blood, hoping they'd agree to be awakened as they call it. Eventually, with the help of Christian and his fire ability, we managed to escape. Mason managed to get the others to safety, but for some silly reason, came back to help me. That was his undoing. He was killed right before my eyes. I saw red then and I managed to kill both strigoi, but it was extremely difficult and i wouldn't have survived if Mia didn't help out as well.

The weeks following were horrible. Eventually though, with the help of my friends, I managed to pull through and slowly started getting back to normal. But I would never forget Mason. He would forever be in my heart.

I began seeing Mason's ghost, but didn't understand why or how. Eventually, after an extremely horrible flight, we realised that as a side effect to being shadow kissed, I could see ghosts when outside wards. This was kick started when I made my first kill. What I couldn't understand, was why I was seeing him at the academy, because the wards were constantly being redone.

Life was normal for a while, as normal as could be anyway when you're seeing ghosts, until I was 17 years old. Lissa was yet again captured and tormented, but this time by the asshole Jesse Zeklos. My worst enemy. He spread a rumour about me being a blood whore, and for a while everyone believed him. Lissa was using a particularly bad compulsion on him. Hell, it even scared me. I realised it was the darkness taking over her, and took it off her. Unfortunately, that meant it was now in me and the rage was unbelievable. I was ready to kill someone. I knew deep down it was wrong, but I couldn't control it.

Dimitri was ordered to take me away and settle me down, and he took me to a cabin near the edge of the wards. We eventually gave into our feelings that night. We were finally one as we made love to each other. My life got a little bit better in that time, but sadly, it was taken away the next day. As we headed back to the school grounds, Mason came to me at the same time we realised humans had staked the wards and strigoi attacked. So many lives were lost that day, but thanks to Christians help, we managed to save many lives as well. No one had ever seen an attack so large. Guardians and Moro were taken and Eddie was one of them.

With Masons help, we located where they were and organised a rescue team. We saved Eddie and most of the others, but we nearly lost Dimitri in the process. A blonde strigoi had grabbed him. I managed to get out of my mothers and run forward and save him. The strigoi didn't even see me coming. We managed to get everyone back to the academy before sundown, and Dimitri collapsed as soon as we got over the wards. He eventually made a full recovery, but was in hospital for a week. I was by his side for the first 3 days and I was the first person he saw when he finally woke up. Kirova, Alberta and my mother figured out our relationship during this time, and surprisingly, they were supportive 'as long as it didn't interfere with our training sessions, and we kept it quiet until graduation'. That suited us fine.

Unfortunately, I till didn't have any luck on my side. Someone had seen us in the cabin that night. They went straight to Kirova. I was called into her office three days later. She wouldn't tell me who came forward, but I had my suspicions. Stan was the first person I'd run into when the Strigoi had attacked. He had to have been close to the cabin! While no one else knew about our relationship, Kirova was happy for it to continue, but now that this other person had confronted her about it, she had to do something, even though she didn't like it.

Kirova gave me two choices. The first was to ignore the person who reported it as they didn't have any actual evidence, but it meant they would probably go to the queen if Kirova didn't act on it, and that would mean Jail for Dimitri. The other choice was to leave the academy and accept another Moro to guard. They were even going to graduate me early, saying my experience in the battle and Spokane proves how good a guardian I would be. I didn't even hesitate, I would leave the academy. No way was Dimitri going to jail because of me. He would still be Lissa's sanctioned guardian. The worst was yet to come though. I wasn't allowed to talk to Dimitri before I left. I was leaving that day. Kirova wanted it to look like she had expelled me. Thankfully, they let me speak to Lissa first. She was devastated, especially that I didn't tell her earlier about Dimitri, but she understood the bind I was in, and said she would support anything I do. She even promised to come and visit me, but make an excuse for Dimitri to stay behind. Lissa wasn't allowed to tell Dimitri where I was either, she had to pretend that I had yet again run away, and she was devastated that I had left her behind. I hated doing that to her, but I was glad she knew I hadn't deserted her and was willing to do that for me.

I was assigned to a Moro in Russia and my life was turned upside down all over again. I thought I had suffered in the past 2 years, but what I endured in those seven months; let's just say that facing a strigoi is nothing. Word finally got to my mother six months after I left that I had 'Run away'. Thankfully, she didn't believe it. She knew that there was no way I would leave Lissa, and especially Dimitri. After finally finding out where I was, Janine came to find me. She was horrified by what she found and took me with her that day, going straight to my father. To this day, my mum, and dad are the only ones who know exactly what happened to me in those seven months. I didn't even tell Lissa. Mum organised with Tatiana for me to go to Turkey and live with a man named Abe Mazur. Tatiana knew what I had been through, but as you know, we didn't exactly get along, so it took some convincing from mum and Abe to let me go. I didn't know at the time, but this man would turn out to be my father. I have been with him and his family since, and we are slowly building our father/daughter relationship. It took me a long time to get over everything that happened to me, but with Abe's help, I slowly healed. I will never forget, but I slowly realised that what happened to me was not my fault in any way. I even have a brother who is 4 years older than me. His name is Caleb. I have a good life here, but I miss my friends like crazy, especially Lissa and Dimitri. I still speak to Lissa once a week, but she was a good actor at the beginning, and everyone believed I had run away. They still don't know that we speak every week. They assumed it had all become too much for me and I couldn't take it anymore. Really, a lot of 17 year olds would've felt that way with everything that had happened. But as I said, I'm a Hathaway and nothing stops me. Lissa always speaks to me through the bond when she is alone, and we talk on the phone then. I don't know what excuse she gives Christian, but i don't care as long as i get to speak to her.

Your probably wondering why, after graduation, I didn't go back to Lissa and Dimitri...it's simple. Dimitri doesn't remember his feelings for me and after everything that happened with my charge, I didn't feel like I deserved to be Lissa's guardian. I couldn't even look after myself, how was I meant to look after her?