So, this is going to be a bit more angsty, consider yourselves warned. It's quite short again, but it needed to stand on its own.

Chapter 10
Fear and Despair

"Let go of my arm, Lucy! It is merely a scratch! Where is he? Where is that confounded rascal!"

Edmund wrenched his arm out of Lucy's grip rather forcefully, ignoring the brief stab of pain the motion caused and the blood that was slowly staining his tunic, and swept the battlefield with his eyes. When he found his target, they narrowed slightly and he strode forward determinedly, Lucy's voice following him.

"Edmund! Your wound needs to be treated! Edmund! Oh for… Please stay calm! You should not… Edmund!"

Edmund however did not answer her, making a beeline for Corin who was at the moment standing with his back towards him. He was calm. For if he was not calm, he would likely do something very undesirable. His heart had almost stopped when he had looked around briefly during the battle and had spotted Corin engaged in the fight, and even at present he had to expend a lot of effort to control his breathing. It had been a long time since he had felt such a nearly paralysing fear, he had seen flashes of images in his mind of Corin falling, of him being wounded… dying, and he had not been able to react to anything for a few precious seconds which had afforded Rabadash with the opportunity to make a slash at him, inflicting the gash on his left arm.

Now that the fight was over and the adrenaline was leaving him, it was difficult for Edmund to sort his conflicting emotions. He was angry, of course, but strangely enough this was not the prevailing feeling. No, more than anything he was saddened. He truly had thought that Corin would act differently, that he would think first after all the conversations they had had over the past week. At least he had expected that he would listen to a direct order. Did fighting and the notions thereof really inhabit such a large space in him that what Edmund said became insignificant, no matter what it was? Did their rapport mean nothing to him? That thought hurt more than Edmund cared to admit or wanted to contemplate at the moment. So he decided to focus instead on the simple fact of Corin's behaviour being unsupportable when viewed from a leadership standpoint, shoving his emotions aside for the moment.

Corin was in the meantime still experiencing a high, the thrill of battle continuing to run quickly through his veins and his thoughts not able to catch up with him while he waited for Shasta to get his bearings back together so that he could introduce him to his father. He started a bit when the other's eyes suddenly opened wide and turned around instinctively, freezing when he beheld Edmund bearing down on him, his elation screeching to an abrupt halt at the expression on the elder's face. He actually began trembling when Edmund came to a stop in front of him because the ice in his friend's gaze was something he had never seen there before, and it was somehow worse than the anger that had flared in his eyes just this morning. Edmund only looked at him for an interminable minute, his frigid glare cutting Corin to the quick and stripping the younger of his flimsy belief that everything would be alright after all. And when his friend – his king – finally spoke, Corin could not help flinching violently because the utter coldness in his voice slammed into him harder than any punch ever could.

"If you ever disobey me again while you are under my care, you will wish we had never met. I am disappointed, Corin. Very disappointed. I truly thought you finally understood what we have been talking about so elaborately, but I was obviously mistaken. And let me tell you this now: If you continue with your wilful behaviour, refusing to follow your superiors' orders, insisting so selfishly on getting your own way at all times and believing that you alone are right, you will not come far. You will be a liability for every leader, and I can assure you that I would not want you under my command."

Corin's face lost all of its colour, and he felt as if the ground had dropped away from under him and he was falling. He could not think, could not grasp what was happening and could not speak. He only knew that his friend, his… his big brother was so angry that he did not want to have anything more to do with him. Slowly, the implications of the words started trickling in, and with dawning horror Corin realised what he had done. He had disregarded an order, a direct command from a king! If he were a legit part of the army he could be tried for treason! He had only wanted to defend his home! But… There were two sides warring within him, one trying desperately to maintain his certainty that it had been his right and that he had acted correctly, the other cringing at his disobedience and almost drowning in his mounting shame.

Then the idea that Edmund would not want him as a knight took hold in his head, causing an almost unbearable pain to rise in him. He had always wished to fight valiantly for his country, and as soon as he could understand what it meant, it had been his dream to be part of Edmund's order one day. The thought that he himself might have now ruined everything nearly tore him in two. Corin looked at Edmund pleadingly, hoping for at least a glimpse of compassion, but there was nothing. Only the same implacability and stoniness. He swallowed hard, trying to will down his despair and to say something, anything, that would redeem himself at least a bit, but there was nothing. His mind was a blank, and he was completely numb, hearing Edmund's words echoing in his head as they increased his anguish.

Suddenly Lucy appeared at Edmund's side, sparing Corin nothing but a cursory glance that only served to make him feel even more miserable, before she rounded on her brother, grabbing his arm tightly.

"Edmund! Enough is enough! Your injury needs to be looked at, and I have already arranged for the supplies. Come!"

It was only then that Corin noticed the blood coating Edmund's sleeve and comprehended with a dropping sensation in his stomach that his friend had been hurt. He felt a bit faint all of a sudden as the notion that any one of them might not have survived this battle was driven home with brutal intensity. And then the guilt started to make itself known. He had let Edmund down. The elder had done so much for him, and he had simply thought that it would not matter if he did not listen, that everything would be well if he could just fight. And now Edmund was injured! Was that his fault as well somehow? Corin extended his hand slightly, as if he wanted to touch Edmund, but the other paid no heed to him, instead glowering at Lucy.

"I am fine! You do not need to make such a fuss about it! It is nothing, and I am perfectly alright!"

Lucy however would obviously have nothing of this, putting her hands on her hips and stepping so far into Edmund's personal space that she had to lean back her head to look up at him. Her hissed words were so quiet that Corin barely understood them.

"You are not alright, do not even try to tell me otherwise! And I do not mean your wound alone which is bad enough! Need I remind you of what we talked about? Come, let us go for now!"

Edmund sagged forward as if his strings had been cut and buried his face in her neck. Lucy quickly wrapped her arms around him, holding him for a long moment before beginning to lead him away, throwing another look at Corin.

"Your father is over by the gates, Corin. I suggest you and Co… Shasta go there to see him. I am sure there is much he wishes to talk to you about."

Then they left, and Corin remained standing next to a shell-shocked Shasta who did not know at all what had happened, wondering if he had just single-handedly destroyed a life-long friendship.

TBC

Corin's not had it easy here, and the next chapter will also be hard. Tell me what you think!