A/N: My friends, I am sorry to inform you... that Ellie is dead.
PSYCHE! I'm not really dead. I've just had a few of the most stressful weeks of my young life. Seriously, it was one thing after another - I've barely had any time for myself! I can't remember the last time I even slept properly... BUT ANYWAY. I'm sorry for the delay, and I hope this chapter will appease you somewhat. Finals are coming up, so I'll be studying which means a delay in updates... but never fear! I fully intend continuing the story. :)
Anywho, this episode is The Body in the Bag. Had a bit of writer's block with this chapter, so I hope you enjoy it! :D
Lance Sweets Put the lime in da coconut, drink 'em both up...
(Daisy Wick and 37 friends like this)
Temperance Brennan Wasn't that the song you were supposed to sing right before Booth was shot by that obese girl?
(Jack Hodgins likes this)
Lance Sweets ... Um, yes, Dr Brennan. But the song has many more emotional connotations.
Daisy Wick It's OUR song! ! ! ! :D :D :D
(Lance Sweets likes this)
Wendell Bray But what's so romantic about limes and coconuts?
Daisy Wick Oh, you'd be surprised! ! ;) ;)
Wendell Bray O_O
Angela Montenegro TMI...
(15 friends like this)
Seeley Booth You need a new treadmill song. I think your office buddies are getting tired of it.
Lance Sweets ...
Lance Sweets Wait... I don't... sing it out loud, do I?
Jack Hodgins You do. ALL the time.
Camille Saroyan It's getting kind of annoying...
Daisy Wick You even do it when we're in bed sometimes! ! :P :P
Angela Montenegro Oh my God, Daisy, stop talking.
(91 friends like this)
Lance Sweets to Seeley Booth: I whacked my head off the treadmill. I'm pretty sure I have a concussion. This is your fault.
Seeley Booth Nah. It was yours - you mentioned me and... you know who.
Lance Sweets You never answered my question. Do you still have feelings for Dr Brennan?
Seeley Booth SWEETS - EVERYONE CAN SEE THIS.
Seeley Booth And no, I don't!
Lance Sweets Yikes, sorry. I'll delete it.
Lance Sweets And I'm changing gyms.
(Seeley Booth likes this)
Jack Hodgins WOO! Drainage party on the roof! I love my job xD
Angela Montenegro Be careful, Hodgie.
Jack Hodgins Always am ;)
Jack Hodgins to Seeley Booth: Hey! Need you guys to stand clear of the drain, okay?
Jack Hodgins Booth?
Jack Hodgins ... Hello?
Jack Hodgins Oh, okay. We're doing this now. Real mature.
Jack Hodgins Don't stand clear of the drain. See if I care!
Camille Saroyan is going to murder Jack Hodgins.
(124 friends like this)
Angela Montenegro *facepalm* What did he do now?
Camille Saroyan Splattered. With. Gooey flesh and bones. In the face.
Clark Edison I hate to intrude, but I trust you all scraped it into evidence bags? And didn't swallow anything? That information is vital to the case.
Angela Montenegro *gags*
(3 friends like this)
Temperance Brennan While I, too, am aggravated by this circumstance, I believe murdering Dr Hodgins would not be well received - especially in this line of work.
Camille Saroyan It's Dr Hodgins. I think they'll make an exception.
Temperance Brennan That does seem plausible...
Jack Hodgins Hey! I'm right here!
Camille Saroyan And your point being...?
Jack Hodgins You're just being rude now. I said I was sorry!
Camille Saroyan Dr Hodgins, my hair smells like a 3-day-old corpse. 'Sorry' doesn't quite cut it.
(Angela Montenegro and 58 friends like this)
Seeley Booth to Jack Hodgins: I really am going to shoot you this time. That suit was new.
Jack Hodgins Yeesh! What is it, 'Blame Hodgins' day? And anyway, I warned you guys! It's not my fault you didn't check your Facebook.
Seeley Booth I happen to have a life outside the internet, Hodgins. Besides, you're the only person on earth who feels the need to check Facebook every two seconds!
Jack Hodgins Hey!
Daisy Wick I do that too! ! :D :D
Jack Hodgins He said 'person' not 'freakshow'.
(Seeley Booth likes this)
Daisy Wick :O :O ! ! !
Clark Edison's parents travelled a lot when he was younger.
Clark Edison Hey, maybe that's why I have abandonment issues!
Clark Edison ... Hence my desire for professionalism!
Jack Hodgins Um... wow... O_O
Camille Saroyan Wow indeed. Someone's opening up...
(Angela Montenegro and 2 friends like this)
Lance Sweets What a breakthrough! You go, Clark. :)
(Clark Edison likes this)
Jack Hodgins Dude, don't encourage him!
(Camille Saroyan and 49 friends like this)
Clark Edison to Camille Saroyan: So... are you still dating that gynaecologist? ;)
(Paul Lidner likes this)
Camille Saroyan Ahem! I have to... remove all this flesh from the victim. Now. Yes. Okay. Busy busy busy.
Clark Edison Okay! We can catch up later :)
(4 friends like this)
Jack Hodgins ... Who are you and what have you done with Clark? D:
Lance Sweets to Seeley Booth: Have you talked to Hannah yet?
Seeley Booth Do they have a course in hounding at shrink school, or what?
Lance Sweets I... cannot disclose that information.
Seeley Booth *facepalm*
Lance Sweets to Seeley Booth: Thanks to my intensive research of the victim, I've been able to draw some promising conclusions.
Seeley Booth You Facebook stalked her.
Lance Sweets Yes, that. Well, the victim's best and only friend de-friended her on Facebook four days ago, effectively severing their relationship. Pretty harsh.
Seeley Booth I dunno, maybe it was justified. We'll have to interrogate Ms Twist.
Daisy Wick You defriended me on Facebook once, Agent Booth! ! ! Were you trying to sever our relationship? ? ? :O :O
Seeley Booth ...
Daisy Wick Agent Booth? ? ? :/
Lance Sweets to Seeley Booth: Okay, Booth. Once is enough. Please re-add Daisy, she's very upset.
Seeley Booth Nah.
Lance Sweets Seriously? She's, like, crying in my office right now... And as much as I love my girlfriend, she's making my current patient feel extremely awkward...
Seeley Booth Sorry, Sweets. I just don't see her as a friend, Facebook or otherwise.
Lance Sweets Hey, I think I might give Hannah a call. About Dr Brennan. ;)
Seeley Booth ... I hate you.
(Lance Sweets likes this)
Seeley Booth and Daisy Wick are now friends.
(Daisy Wick and Lance Sweets like this)
Daisy Wick *sniffle* I'm glad you've seen the error of your ways, Agent Booth! ! !
Seeley Booth Whatever.
(Lance Sweets likes this)
Daisy Wick I feel like this experience has brought us closer together! ! ! Don't you? ? ? :D :D
Seeley Booth I'm getting too old for this...
Lance Sweets Revenge. For a handbag.
(65 friends like this)
Daisy Wick But what TYPE of handbag? ? ? :D :D
Lance Sweets ... Does it matter?
Camille Saroyan Oh, it matters.
(Angela Montenegro and 11 friends like this)
Lance Sweets Chanel?
Angela Montenegro Oh! Well, that makes sense.
(Daisy Wick, Camille Saroyan and 20 friends like this)
Lance Sweets ...
Wendell Bray ... Girls are weird.
(58 friends like this)
Angela Montenegro to Jack Hodgins: Still hard at work? Bringing you over some lunch! :)
(Jack Hodgins likes this)
Jack Hodgins You're perfect.
Angela Montenegro But... I, uh, ate a bit of it.
Angela Montenegro Okay, most of it!
Angela Montenegro But it was for the baby! I swear.
Jack Hodgins Suuure ;) Thought that counts, I guess.
(Angela Montenegro likes this)
Jack Hodgins to Angela Montenegro: Hey, found a piece of paper in the drain. Think you can reconstruct the writing on it?
Angela Montenegro Only if you let me eat the pudding I gave you for lunch.
Angela Montenegro Ahem, not for me. For the baby. The baby loves pudding. Ahem.
Jack Hodgins But - but - Angie, it's vanilla!
Angela Montenegro You would deprive your unborn child of pudding, Jack? Really?
Jack Hodgins Sigh... of course not.
(Angela Montenegro likes this)
Angela Montenegro Love you, Hodgie!
(Jack Hodgins likes this)
Seeley Booth to Hannah Burley: Founding Fathers? Need to talk to you about something.
Hannah Burley I'm intrigued. Sure! Something important?
Seeley Booth Something that you need to know.
(Lance Sweets likes this)
Seeley Booth Go gloat somewhere else, Sweets.
Lance Sweets :(
(Seeley Booth likes this)
Hannah Burley to Seeley Booth: Thanks for telling me. I'm seeing... you-know-who for lunch tomorrow, what should I say? :/
Jack Hodgins VOLDEMORT?
Seeley Booth *facepalm*
Seeley Booth Just, be gentle. That person... isn't like everyone else, you know that.
Hannah Burley I'd much rather just be shot again...
(Seeley Booth likes this)
Seeley Booth Amen to that. ;)
Jack Hodgins Seriously guys. Voldemort?
Angela Montenegro *repeated facepalm*
(19 friends like this)
Temperance Brennan to Hannah Burley: Hannah, I got us a lunch reservation for 2:30 pm.
Hannah Burley Oh! I'm sorry Temperance, I have to cancel. I'm too busy with my story about the Procreation Committee - sorry!
Temperance Brennan Of course, I understand. Why don't you call me when you have some free time?
Hannah Burley Will do! :)
Daisy Wick You turned down lunch with Dr Brennan? ! ? ! Are you crazy? ? I'll go to lunch with you, Dr Brennan! ! !
Lance Sweets But Daisy, *we* had lunch plans...
(Jack Hodgins and 27 friends like this)
Temperance Brennan That will not be necessary, Miss Wick.
Daisy Wick to Lance Sweets: We're back on for lunch! ! !
Lance Sweets Thanks, Daisy. I feel appreciated.
(Daisy Wick likes this)
Daisy Wick You're welcome, baby! ! ! :D :D
Lance Sweets *facepalm*
Angela Montenegro to Temperance Brennan: Honey, three changes of plans between friends in one day is statistically impossible.
Temperance Brennan I'm afraid I... am unfamiliar with the study you are citing.
Angela Montenegro Little project I've conducted myself - at the Common Sense Institute.
Temperance Brennan Oh.
Daisy Wick Common Sense Institute? ? Is that what CSI stands for? ? ?
Lance Sweets O_O
Jack Hodgins Hah! Sucks to be you, my man. xD
(3 friends like this)
Angela Montenegro That... person is avoiding you, sweetie. She might be keeping something from you. Secrets are toxic between friends.
Temperance Brennan By 'person' are you still referring to Hannah?
Angela Montenegro So much for confidentiality...
(Jack Hodgins and 4 friends like this)
Clark Edison to Jack Hodgins: Man! I've missed so much by not opening up around here!
Clark Edison BTW, congratulations, Dad. ;)
Jack Hodgins Uh... thanks...
(Clark Edison likes this)
Clark Edison I'm from a big family. I want lots of kids. You know, growing up, I could never get a word in... maybe that's why I'm so withdrawn!
Clark Edison Well, that or my stint in the NSA.
Jack Hodgins ...
Jack Hodgins ... Ahem, the NSA? Tell me more.
Clark Edison Nice try, Dr Hodgins. OOH! A fragment! Do you see that fragment in the hair?
Jack Hodgins Yes, Clark. I can see that.
Clark Edison Well, what are you waiting for? It could help ID our victim!
Jack Hodgins How about YOU try combing the hair? It's like the Gordian knot, or something.
Camille Saroyan Hey, geniuses. What gets knots out? Conditioner. Get off Facebook and start doing what I pay you for.
(Angela Montenegro likes this)
Clark Edison I want to start having babies. But my girlfriend's afraid of losing her sexuality during pregnancy...
Nora Oldhouse CLARK! O_O
Camillie Saroyan For the love of God, Clark, go buy the conditioner!
(Jack Hodgins and 71 friends like this)
Nora Oldhouse to Clark Edison: Clark... Where did all this conditioner come from? You left five bottles in the shower, and you don't even have hair!
Clark Edison They're a present for you, baby. Left over from an experiment at work. :)
Nora Oldhouse ... Experiment?
Jack Hodgins Yeah, we used it to untangle bone fragments from the victim's hair.
Nora Oldhouse *gags*
(40 friends like this)
Jack Hodgins You two are more similar than I thought...
Clark Edison to Jack Hodgins: So, what's going on with Dr Brennan and Agent Booth and this... other woman?
(108 friends like this)
Jack Hodgins Uh, we should work. Before Cam murders us.
(Camille Saroyan likes this)
Clark Edison But what if this all goes horribly wrong? The repercussions could be cataclysmic!
Jack Hodgins Be that as it may, Clark, nobody else wants to talk about this...
Daisy Wick I do! ! ! :D :D
Wendell Bray Yeah, I'm kind of interested, too. :)
Colin Fisher Even though nothing brings me joy in this soul-sucking world, I would like to catch up on the Booth/Brennan gossip.
Arastoo Vaziri Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?
Clark Edison Move forward the bi-weekly Interns Meetup in the Founding Fathers to tonight?
(Daisy Wick, Wendell Bray and 3 friends like this)
Daisy Wick YAY! ! ! :D :D
Wendell Bray I'm buying. ;)
Jack Hodgins You guys... meet up?
Angela Montenegro Twice a week?
Arastoo Vaziri That we do. :)
Seeley Booth But I thought you all hated each other's guts?
Vincent Nigel-Murray Actually, ladies and gents, we share a mutual respect for each other's abilities and the realm of forensic anthropology. We meet up twice a week to discuss our work colleagues. Fact.
(6 friends like this)
Daisy Wick Yeah, we talk about how annoying you guys are! ! ! :D :D :D
Camille Saroyan O_O
Jack Hodgins ... I don't know how to process this.
(Camille Saroyan and Seeley Booth like this)
Temperance Brennan to Hannah Burley: You have succeeded your statistical quota of legitimate excuses for the day. I demand to know why you are ignoring me.
Hannah Burley Temperance, I'm in a meeting with the President right now...
Temperance Brennan I don't want to lose you as a friend, Hannah. I insist that you tell me now.
Hannah Burley ... Seeley told me about the conversation you two had.
Temperance Brennan He shouldn't have done that.
Hannah Burley He had to.
Jack Hodgins AWKWARD.
(12 friends like this)
Camille Saroyan Oh my God, Hodgins, do you make it your mission to ruin EVERYONE'S relationships?
(81 friends like this)
Jack Hodgins Yes.
(Jack Hodgins likes this)
Hannah Burley ... Anyway, I wasn't avoiding you, I was just confused. I don't want to ruin your friendship with Seeley, or my friendship with you.
(Temperance Brennan likes this)
Hannah Burley Um, anyway, I actually am in a meeting right now, and I don't think the president is enjoying being ignored.
Temperance Brennan Oh! I am sorry. Could you please ask him to devote more resources to the conflict in Congo?
Hannah Burley Sure thing. See you for drinks later - I won't cancel! :)
(Temperance Brennan likes this)
Jack Hodgins Can you tell him I say hi? :D
Jack Hodgins ... Hannah?
Jack Hodgins Ugh. Never mind.
(Camille Saroyan likes this)
Lance Sweets posted a photo.
Lance Sweets to Seeley Booth: Here you go. Page 237 from the victim's web history.
(Seeley Booth likes this)
Seeley Booth Thanks Sweets.
Seeley Booth ... Wait, why is she holding a rat?
Lance Sweets Chinchilla.
Seeley Booth Chile con carne to you too. Send the rest of the stuff over?
Lance Sweets Sure thing. Could take a while - I have 600 pages of this stuff.
Jack Hodgins ... Dude, that's Facebook stalking to the extreme. O_O
Wendell Bray Yeah, I'm kinda freaked out now...
Angela Montenegro Uh huh.
Clark Edison I'm all for exploring my personal side, but that's just scary.
(38 friends like this)
Seeley Booth to Camille Saroyan: Sweets won't pick up his cell, what gives?
Camille Saroyan Oh, everyone at the Jeffersonian de-friended him on Facebook after the whole victim-stalking thing. I think he's sulking.
Seeley Booth Wait, everyone?
Camille Saroyan Except for Brennan. But I'm not sure if she knows how to de-friend someone in the first place...
(Angela Montenegro and 66 friends like this)
Seeley Booth Fair point.
Camille Saroyan Maybe you should go check on him - even Daisy deleted him.
Seeley Booth Wait, DAISY deleted him? Ms I-have-no-respect-for-personal-boundaries?
Daisy Wick Safety first! ! ! :D :D
Seeley Booth *facepalm* I'll go see him. He better not be crying...
(Camille Saroyan and 11 friends like this)
Camille Saroyan to Clark Edison: If you ever feel the need to bottle yourself up again... We'll support you.
(Angela Montenegro, Jack Hodgins and 3 friends like this)
Clark Edison Uh... Thanks! :)
Jack Hodgins HINT, HINT.
Angela Montenegro *facepalm*
(16 friends like this)
Seeley Booth Well, whaddaya know. Tracked the victim down through her pet rat.
Lance Sweets Chinchilla.
Seeley Booth Chinchilla, enchilada, same thing.
Lance Sweets What? No, it's not...
Daisy Wick Booth! ! De-friend Lancelot! ! ! He'll stalk you! ! D: D:
Daisy Wick Love you, baby! :D :D x3
Lance Sweets ...
(Seeley Booth and 72 friends like this)
Clark Edison Death by shower? That's a new one.
(45 friends like this)
Daisy Wick Showers can kill you now? ? :O :O
Arastoo Vaziri Wait, seriously? Because I just had a shower... D:
Vincent Nigel-Murray Perhaps it would interest you to know that 100% of people who use shampoo die.
(Angela Montenegro and 99 friends like this)
Daisy Wick WHAT? ? ? D: D:
Wendell Bray Seriously?
Colin Fisher I always knew shampoo would be the cause of my unhappiness.
Seeley Booth ... For nerds, you guys are all idiots.
(112 friends like this)
Lance Sweets to Seeley Booth: So, did everything work out okay with you and Hannah?
Seeley Booth Yeah, she's just amazing. Wow.
Lance Sweets And you don't feel threatened by her close friendship with Dr Brennan?
Seeley Booth Of course not. Why should I?
Lance Sweets Uh, no reason?
(Seeley Booth likes this)
Seeley Booth Good. Conversation over.
Lance Sweets Uh, actually, could I just ask you a favour?
Seeley Booth No, Sweets. I am in the middle of a murder investigation, I do not have the time to convince everyone to re-add you on Facebook.
Lance Sweets But -
Seeley Booth Not happening.
Lance Sweets :(
Seeley Booth to Lance Sweets: Got the footage from the bedroom's teddy bear cam set up, need you to come see it.
Lance Sweets On my way.
Lance Sweets ... Is this work, or porn? :/
(4 friends like this)
Seeley Booth There's... an overlap.
Hannah Burley Porn, Seeley? At work?
(Angela Montenegro and Camille Saroyan like this)
Seeley Booth Oh, hey Hannah, I - um - thought you were still at your meeting...
Daisy Wick PORN? ? ? ? D: D: D:
Lance Sweets Oh crap.
(Seeley Booth and 59 friends like this)
Lance Sweets is now friends with Daisy Wick.
(Daisy Wick likes this)
Lance Sweets I think I'd feel happier about this if you weren't just adding me to spy on me and make sure I stop watching porn...
Daisy Wick Love you, Lancelot! ! ! x3 x3
Lance Sweets Sigh...
Angela Montenegro to Jack Hodgins: Everyone's gone home. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? ;)
(Jack Hodgins likes this)
Jack Hodgins Look at the baby with the sonogram again? :D
Angela Montenegro You bet. I'm in my office :)
(Clark Edison likes this)
Clark Edison Wow! Wow, you guys that is amazing. :D
Jack Hodgins Uh... Thanks, Clark.
Clark Edison Seriously. I think this calls for a group hug! *hugs*
Angela Montenegro Aw, that's sweet. *hug*
Jack Hodgins ... But it's mostly just weird.
Clark Edison ...? :(
Angela Montenegro Oh, just hug him, Jack.
Jack Hodgins Ugh. Fine. *hug*
(Clark Edison likes this)
Clark Edison Great job on the case, guys. Have a good night! :D
Jack Hodgins ... I'm pretty sure you've eaten the real Clark.
Angela Montenegro Jack, be nice!
Jack Hodgins *whispers* But Angie! He was in the NSA - he could totally be messing with us!
Clark Edison Just because you type '*whispers*' online doesn't mean I can't see what you wrote, Dr Hodgins.
(84 friends like this)
Angela Montenegro *facepalm*
(15 friends like this)
Jack Hodgins to Angela Montenegro: You still want Paisley's place? ;)
Jack Hodgins I'll fix the shower, I promise.
Angela Montenegro Hodgins, this is the craziest, most romantic thing anyone's ever done for me.
Angela Montenegro I love you.
(Jack Hodgins likes this)
Jack Hodgins I love you more. xD
Clark Edison :D :D :D
Jack Hodgins ... Okay, seriously Clark, now you're just acting like Daisy.
(Daisy Wick likes this)
Daisy Wick :D :D :D ! ! !
Temperance Brennan has a very high tolerance for alcohol.
(79 friends like that)
Hannah Burley Is that a challenge? :P
Lance Sweets Don't rise to the challenge, Hannah. I'm pretty sure I got alcohol poisoning when I last joined Dr Brennan for a drink.
(Temperance Brennan, Jack Hodgins and 40 friends like this)
Seeley Booth He's not kidding. I had to carry him home.
(Daisy Wick and 91 friends like this)
Hannah Burley to Temperance Brennan: Can you believe the guy at the bar? Creep!
Seeley Booth Wait, what guy?
Temperance Brennan A moderately attractive man insinuated that having a threesome with myself and Hannah tonight was a possibility. Incorrectly, I might add.
(124 friends like this)
Seeley Booth WHAT?
Hannah Burley Like I said, creep.
Seeley Booth What did he look like? Is he still at the bar? I'm bringing my gun.
Angela Montenegro This isn't going to end well...
Jack Hodgins To the nuclear war shelter?
Camille Saroyan You don't have to ask me twice.
Lance Sweets Amen to that.
Daisy Wick Can I come too? ? ? :D :D
Jack Hodgins ...
Jack Hodgins The awkward moment when Daisy Wick feels wanted...
(65 friends like this)
Daisy Wick Hey! ! D: D:
Jack Hodgins It's funny, 'cause it's true ;)
(Jack Hodgins likes this)
Angela Montenegro Oh, God. Maybe we should go for drinks after all... *facepalm*
Camille Saroyan I'll join you. *rolls eyes*
Daisy Wick Wait, can I come? ?
Camille Saroyan ...
Angela Montenegro ...
Camille Saroyan ... Awkward.
(20 friends like this)
A/N: Hardly a masterpiece, but I hope you liked it anyway! Please do leave me a review, they brighten up my day :D
Happy Easter!
Peace,
-Ellie :D