A/N: This story takes place the Friday before Valentine's Day. Since it was offically on a Monday, most of Dalton's students are going to do their Valentine thing the Sunday before.
Frustration, Star Trek, and Revelation
Author: TerribleSpy
Rating: M (adult ideas)
Characters: Glee Kurt/Blaine boyfriends
Summary: Kurt learns to like new things while hatching a plot to get busy. The merits of remakes. Tinman. Being made whole.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. I just want to play in that universe.
It was fast approaching Valentine's Day Sunday.
Kurt was getting tired of Blaine being such a gentleman. In their makeout sessions, when things started getting more interesting and the hotness needle started creeping up, Blaine would stop and cool things down, saying that maybe they were going to fast. Kurt was wondering if he was ever going to get laid.
Yeah, he was all for it being special since this was his first time. And he knew he loved Blaine. What more could a boy ask for? Well, maybe a little action, thought Kurt. Am I the only one here with needs?
He was just about to get crude about it. That scene from VICTOR/VICTORA with Norma Jean wearing a slinky silk negligee and saying "I'm horny." seemed over the top. But desperate measures were needed.
Blaine would suggest a Harry Potter or some Disney movie as a distraction. Lately he's found other ways to not broach the topic. For example, the upcoming Warbler STAR TREK marathon on Friday and Saturday. David and Wes were organizing it and had Blaine talking about the merits of the various shows and movies.
Not everyone shared the encyclopedic knowledge of the Star Trek canon as Blaine, Wes, and David. Nor the interest in seeing all the various shows or movies. So David had people vote in true Warbler fashion and compiled a list of videos and running order. People would bring their DVDs and the show would begin after Warbler practice on Friday night. That way, guys could wander in when what they wanted to see was playing.
Of course, the recent remake got the highest number of votes next to the WRATH OF KHAN followed by a few episodes from the NEXT GENERATION, DEEP SPACE 9, and even the original series. Kurt and Blaine settled into a long couch for the remake. Kurt had watched some of the original shows, purely because he found the characters and stories amazing. But he somehow had missed the remake.
It turns out that it was rather good. JJ Abrams managed to carry off a not-to-lame story along with great special effects and cast. A star ship being built in cornfield? Oh really? Less camera shaking and lens flair next time, thought Kurt. But the casting made the difference. Having both Nimoy and Quinto play Spock and meet each other at the end was great as was the 8-year-old Spock going medieval on the older kid for dissing his mom.
There was a break between the movie and next selection, a couple episodes from NEXT GENERATION so people could refill snacks, pee, etc. A discussion on the old vs. new cast started and eventually evolved into a "who's hot?" on the entire cast of all the shows.
"Hands down, it's Jerri Ryan as SEVEN OF NINE", said Wes with enthusiasm.
"Hello? High heels, a DD cup, and spandex on a star ship? Yeah we all know why they added that character." said Blaine.
"OK, what about Jolene Blaylock as T'Pol?", said David defensively.
Kurt and Blaine looked at each other and said "Decon gel." in unison.
The other Warblers started throwing out minor characters, some Kurt knew, others Blaine knew. My own adorkable ensign. You can navigate me anywhere, thought Kurt.
Finally Wes said somewhat indignantly, "So what about you guys? All you've been doing is shooting down our hot list. Whata you got?"
Blaine reddened, suddenly embarrassed. He didn't want to make Kurt uncomfortable by talking about guys he thought were hot. He always felt it was really tacky when some guy was with his girlfriend and would "take note" of other women. And besides, Kurt was so hot and cute and sexy, and he was right there.
"I think Zachary Quinto is really hot." said Kurt. "He makes a Vulcan, who only gets it on every 7 years, worth waiting for it." Kurt turned red as he said this.
Blaine looked at Kurt in mild shock. Wes and David exchanged a glance.
Jeff, a tenor said "What about Anton Yelchin? He's pretty cute. You could run your fingers through his curly hair for hours." Blaine and Kurt turned and looked him. That was Kurt's favorite G-rated pastime with Blaine.
Finally, Blaine said "I think Chris Pine is pretty smokin'. That scene with the Orion girl in Uhura's quarters was yummy." But he was watching Kurt the whole time he said it.
Kurt grinned. "Hey. It's OK. You've got a boyfriend. That doesn't make you dead. What's hot and what's not is totally subjective anyway."
They settled down to watch the two episodes. In one, the fun part was at the end when Worf says "You're just supposed to sit here?" while supposedly relaxing in a mudbath on the HolloDeck.
The other was altogether different. By then, Blaine had taken up his most favorite movie watching position-his head in Kurt's lap. He loved having Kurt playing with his curly hair idly as they watched. Sometimes, he even felt like purring.
In TINMAN, the plot unfolds pretty quickly, unlike some of the other Next Generation stories. Essentially, a telepathic alien and Data save this creature that's an organic spaceship which roams the stars, the last of its kind. It sounds lame all compressed like that, but the story worked.
Data asks the telepath "Is that the purpose of existence - to care for someone?" Kurt sighed because he knew deep down that was true of him. No burden, just true. He was good at taking care of people. Burt after the heart attack. Blaine when he came down with that flu.
At the end, Counselor Troi asks Data what happened. Data muses for a second "Individually, they were wounded, isolated. Through joining, they have been healed. Grief has been transmuted to joy. Loneliness to belonging. When Tinman returned me to the Enterprise, I realized that this is where I belong." Again, Kurt sighed. Just like I belong with Blaine.
Kurt felt Blaine's breathing change as he let out a ragged sigh. Looking down, Kurt saw Blaine was quietly weeping. Silently, he handed Blaine a tissue from his pocket and squeezed his hand. Blaine flashed Kurt look that said Later to which Kurt nodded. Blaine composed himself, wiping his eyes.
"Well, I will say the costume designer for NEXT GENERATION managed to make futuristic clothing that you might actually be able to wear. The ENTERPRISE series shipboard uniforms were also more realistic, but boringly utilitarian." Blaine just rolled his eyes at Kurt's ability to bring fashion into Star Trek.
"I think I'll head on up. I've got a couple papers to work on and a math problem set due Monday. Blaine, are you going to stay and revel in more of Gene Roddenberry's genius?" Kurt said as Blaine sat up.
"I'll head on up too. I've got a psych paper due on Monday too. I'll catch you guys at breakfast tomorrow. 'Night." Both Kurt and Blaine left the commons to a quiet chorus of "'night you two" followed by smooching noises from Wes and David.
"I just need to check my phone in my room. I'll be over in a minute to explain that ... what that was all about." Blaine said tentatively. Boy, he can turn public Blaine on and off at will, thought Kurt.
It was more like 10 minutes before Blaine knocked on his door. Kurt was about to go over to check if everything was OK. Clearly, it wasn't. Blaine's eyes were red and he'd obviously been crying. WTF is going on. This is Blaine. He doesn't cry. thought Kurt.
"Come on over here and sit" said Kurt as he patted his bed with the 300-thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. It was obvious who's side was who's in the room that Kurt shared with Wes. Blaine sat and drew a ragged breath as Kurt handed him another tissue. Blaine accepted it, blew his nose, and looked down to his hands in his lap.
"What's going on? Why are you so upset?" Kurt spoke the exact same words that Blaine said to him on the open stairwell back in November.
This was not lost on Blaine. He gave a small, choked laugh and finally turned to look at Kurt with his sometimes-green-sometimes-brown-flecked-with-gold hazel eyes. "Have you been wondering why I've been cooling things down when we start getting more intimate in our makeouts?"
"Apart from you being a perfect gentleman and not wanting to pressure me into doing anything I didn't want to do? Uhm. That would be a yes." Kurt said wistfully.
"In fact, I was about to start looking for songs that might suggest we can take things to the next level. But the songs around this topic are rather grim. AFTERNOON DELIGHT. GIVE IT TO ME ONE MORE TIME. MUSCRAT LOVE." Kurt said with a little shiver. Blaine smiled wanly.
"I just realized something while watching that Star Trek episode and I couldn't hold it in any more. I think of what it might cost me." Blaine said quietly, looking down at his lap again.
"Cost you?"
"It's something my therapist told me when we were working through stuff. I was not always the picture of fabulousness you see before you." Blaine began.
Kurt had learned to recognize the put-together, public Blaine with the gelled hair, poise, friendly smile, and outgoing manner. But he also noticed that the smile didn't reach his eyes. This version of Blaine was his guide during his first week at Dalton, taking him around to classes, sitting with him at lunch and dinner. And introducing him around to other students.
Then there was the private Blaine which Kurt got to know later after his 'new kid' status started wearing off. The one he'd fallen for. The curly hair, glasses, goofiness, and smile that seemed to take over his whole being. It happened when Blaine performed in front of an audience. Or when he was with Kurt. Private Blaine purred when Kurt ran his fingers through Blaine's unruly curls. Public Blaine stiffened slightly if Kurt tried to reach over to straighten his tie. Not that public Blaine would let his tie get crooked.
"Some of the things I've done or still do to hide how I feel have a cost. Mostly in my relationships. Like...uhm...with you.
"I haven't talked about my past in detail much, mostly because I'm afraid of what you might think of me." Blaine's voice was still quiet.
Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Blaine, you know I'd never judge you. But I will not have vampire babies with you."
Blaine grinned. "Let me assure you. My wit is the only thing that sparkles."
"So what's got you so worried?" Kurt asked.
"When I got here, I was a mess. The taunting affected me way more than it does you. I met someone here and fell head over heels in lust for him. We rushed into sex way to soon. I was probably just a passing conquest. He dumped me when I wanted to slow things down.
"The other guy I just hooked up with, mostly because I was lonely and wanted some sort of physical contact. But it was just that-a hookup, no strings, no breakfast the next morning. I still felt lonely and empty. I'd rather be alone and take care of my own needs than do that.
"Wes would probably revoke my Man Card for that little confession. But I guess I'm just wired to want a relationship even though it really scares the crap out of me. That's quite a contradiction, huh?" Blaine finally looked at Kurt, trying to read his reaction to his confession.
Kurt just smiled. "You're worried about what Wes thinks or what I think?"
"Wes isn't really the problem. I just don't want to give him more ammo for harassing you or me. I'm more worried that you'd think less of me knowing I was kind of a slut." Blaine said earnestly.
Kurt said slyly "I've heard it said that a slut is just someone who's getting more than you." Blaine grinned and sighed in relief.
"Do you know Wes asked me if I was a top or a bottom?" Kurt said.
Blaine colored "What did you tell him?"
"I said I didn't know. Yet."
"Oh great. Now he's teasing you about being a virgin. He probably said I was lacking in the boyfriend duty department. And that I needed to get busy."
"Pretty much." Kurt answered with a little twinkle in his eye.
"Which leads me around to why I haven't 'gotten down to business'. Part of what I felt when I was 'in lust' with Douchebag Dave I initially felt for you."
"Oh, when?" Kurt asked coloring slightly.
"When I first saw you on the stairs in those bondage shorts and boots. Why do you think I sang Teenage Dream directly to you that day?"
Ah. I wasn't making that up. thought Kurt.
"But when you told me about your trouble at McKinley, it changed into something else. You became someone I could care about and care for instead of just lusting after. When we finally started dating, the lust came back.
During Christmas break, I really missed you. Texting and calling helped, but it was as if a Kurt-shaped part of my life was missing." Blaine's eyes were glistening as his voice got quiet.
"Then Data said 'this is where I belong', I got it. Two parts made whole." Blaine was quietly weeping now, no longer trying to hold it in.
Kurt just reached over and grabbed Blaine, hugging him with their heads on each other's shoulders. It was like that hug they shared the night they realized they wanted to be more than friends. Kurt offering himself and giving refuge both at the same time, accepting Blaine just as he was.
Blaine took a deep breath and raised his head. "I know 'it's me, not you' is so cliché but it's true."
"I knew you were my puzzle piece the moment we hugged that night. Kissing you silly after that was just plain fun. Does this mean we're each gonna start 'gettin' down to business' sometime soon? I was about to try some desperate measures."
Blaine colored but was sort of excited. "What were you going to do? Those bondage shorts? Red tighty whities? A jockstrap filled with chocolate syrup?"
Kurt looked at Blaine in mock horror. "Do you know how hard it is to get chocolate stains out of 100% cotton? Not on my sheets."
"What then?" Blaine was really curious.
"I'll tell you tomorrow. We'll have our first Valentine's day together."
Blaine pouted. But Kurt just looked at him. "Please, I could do better than that when I was 5. Your Jedi Mind tricks don't work on me."
The next day, Blaine's InBox had an email with a link
To: Blaine Anderson
From: Kurt Hummel
Date: 11 February 2011 23:45
Subject: Who's hotter?
Listen to this when you're alone with head phones. The MP3 works but the video got taken down. The transcript is right there:
community. livejournal. com / ontd_startrek / 1043908. html
Tell me what you think.
At breakfast when Blaine met Kurt's eye, he blushed a light pink and blew him a kiss.
Mission is a go. thought Kurt But, I'll keep the Cherios uniform in reserve for Plan B.
A/N: I'm not convinced I've got the balance between descriptions and dialog right, nor between humor and emotionally heavy stuff. Thoughts, ideas, recommendations welcome. Sorry for the multiple revisions. I'm learning I need to proofread more carefully, maybe delay putting something up. Any guidelines to the beta process would be helpful.
You'll have to remove the spaces from the above link when you paste it into your browser. This site munges ULRs.
Go to read the Star Trek slash. The MP3 has yummy Zachary Quinto reading it.