A/N:This is a one shot (for now). When I'm finished with "Pay the Piper" (and maybe one other story that's in the pipes, all of which take place in the same story-verse), I intend to expand this into more than a one-shot, probably with a different title. This story is a "Thank you for reading. Please be patient with me," to all of my faithful "Pay the Piper" readers, as the next chapter is being stubborn, and my selective writer's block keeps diverting me to later chapters, which have to wait to be posted until I can get over a few story bumps.

So, thank you so much for reading, for being patient with me. This is for you:

Don't Go

It was all over. All the people had gone. It was almost eerie. Truncheon was usually just him, Matt, Chris…maybe one other person, reading, writing, browsing - but they were usually all gone by now, out somewhere, up on the roof, back up in the apartment, together, apart. But, this had been the big day, and even though all the lights were dim, and all the people gone, the energy was still there - the vibe; they could all feel it. They blew it off by bashing Matt's poet and the creepy raw material he hadn't cleared with them before performing earlier; 'till Matt, as usual, took it personally and went sulking off to "tell his poet." That was when he saw her. She was still there, sitting in the half-darkness, reading his book and waiting.

The eeriness took on an almost palpable density, settling in his stomach, thickening the air he breathed. Some part of him had known she hadn't gone. He had brushed it off - dismissed it. After all, to him, she was always there. She belonged there.

The guys were going to the bar they wanted to appropriate. He told Chris to go on without him. However things turned out, there was no way he was leaving anytime soon.

He pulled up a chair. They started to chat. Chatter was more like it - meaningful chatter about his book, Yale, her life now. Her body language was shy, nervous, but happy; happy to be there, happy to be with him. He hardly dared let himself believe any of this was happening. But here she was, and here he was; and it was perfect. There in this place that he had built, there in the residual glow of their apparent success, there in the dim golden light of Truncheon at night, a light like nowhere else, there together, after all these years, finally feeling right, whole, on the same page for once.

Still - he had to check. He had to make sure she'd resolved everything once and for all - no hang-ups, no footnotes to tear them apart again.

"You look happier than when I saw you last," he noted, with pleasure.

"I am." She nodded and smiled as only Rory could - her smile - a little guarded, but still, his Rory.

"So…" the important part, "you fixed everything?" Just to make sure.

"Yeah," her head bobbed, cheerfully, "everything's fixed." A wave of happiness flooded over Jess. He finally released the tension he'd been holding inside ever since he had forced himself to write her address on one of the invitations they were sending out and actually mail it. He leaned forward, looking into her clear blue eyes.

" Good. I'm glad you're here…" he was so close he could smell her…he had almost forgotten the smell of her hair.

"Yeah, me too." That was all he needed. His lips sought hers eagerly, but patiently, making this slow and perfect. So soft, so willing, so unalterably right…her love flowed through him so purely; an electric current, so familiar, yet so much stronger than it ever had, even on that sunshine day in the green so long ago when she had first kissed him. He felt himself slipping…slipping into something so deep, so sweet…a current…he was drowning and it was…home….he was drowning in home, so safe, so completely free, flying and falling and letting it roll over him like clouds crashing into the shoreline, with a golden sunset, and…

She pulled away. He crashed to the ground, so abruptly, like waking from a dream you could've sworn with every fiber of your being was real. He heard her apologize. Why was she apologizing? What could she possibly have to apologize for? For coming? For wanting to see what he'd made of himself, of his life? How was this not fair to him? How on earth had she been a jerk? It didn't make sense. None of it made sense.

"…and I couldn't even cheat on him the way he cheated on me." She seemed suddenly cracked down the middle. Not fixed. Broken.

"Who! Who cheated on you-that guy!" Ice water in the face. A punch in the gut…no, a kick in the groin. This couldn't be…but sickeningly, was. His mouth filled with bile. "You're still with him."

"Yeah." And there it was. The stupid paper doll that arranged DAR functions, and hid away from the world in a lace covered pillow stuffed world, with a shallow jerkish Porsche-driving…he cheated on her, but she was still with him! Where had his Rory gone?

"I thought everything was fixed." He'd checked. He'd double checked. He'd made sure. This wasn't supposed to happen this time.

"Everything but him." There it was - the hang-up, the footnote - it was always there, always ripping them apart before they even had a chance to get started. Fire flowed, searing through his veins.

"I hate this."

"You should." She kept apologizing. He kept countering. She kept explaining. "He was out of town." And so she put him in the middle of this? Made him a party to her lies? Or worse, to her galling truth…made him an object, a weapon - was that all he was to her?

"I don't deserve this, Rory."

"No, you don't. You don't deserve it. I just…" What justification could there be? How could she make this one better? "I'm in love with him…despite all the bad he's done, I can't help it, I'm in love with him."

So this was what it was like to be impaled. In a moment of time his heart screamed in its death throes, all of his blood flowed from his body, leaving him a mass of quivering white flesh.

"Love, huh?"

"Yeah…"

Somebody, quick, tell me what love means, because I've obviously got it all wrong. Love means: You hurt me, so I hurt you back if I can. Never mind the people I hurt in the process. That's just friendly fire. At least they were killed by allies rather than enemies. That makes it all better.

"I guess I'll call Matthew's poet and have him explain love to me. Poets know all about it, right?" He hoped she couldn't hear how dead he was inside as he said those words. As if he needed someone to tell him about love.

"Supposed to…" she said weakly. She was leaving…she said so…she said she was sorry she came.

"I'm not." How could that be? How could he not be sorry she'd come? Sorry she did this? Because… "It's what it is . . . you . . . me . . . "

He heard himself give her permission to lie. She thanked him. Her hand was on the door knob. The next moment she would be gone. It wasn't real. He was numb. He was screaming. But it was only in his head.

I've done everything for you. I've become everything you've ever dreamed I could be. I helped you to find yourself again. I wrote you a book. You love books. We love books…us…together. I wrote you a book so you would understand. You came back to me. You came back to me. You came back to tell me in your own awkward way that you read the book, that you understand now, and you love me, you finally love me. That's what you came to do. That's what I wouldn't let myself believe; and what I fooled myself into thinking. You let me kiss you. You kissed me. I felt your love. You can't deny it. You can't love him. You can't be with him. You can't. I love you more. More than anyone ever could. Why do you love the person who's breaking you apart? How can you go back to him? You wanted to use me. You were going to wipe your feet on my heart. Why do I still love you? Why is it that all I can care about is the fact that you're going to be miserable? You're going to keep letting him hurt you. Forget me. You're going to keep letting him hurt you. I know I hurt you. Back when I was stupid. Back when I had no idea what to do with your heart, I hurt you, I broke you, but it was an accident. I swear I didn't mean it. I swear I was trying to do the best thing for you the whole time…all of the time. I was just clumsy. Stupid and clumsy. But, I'm all grown up now. I love you with a man's love, a man's heart. I would do anything on earth. I would give my life if it would make you happy; really happy. Don't go be sad. Don't go.