-In response to critics of my past work, I've decided it best to use the second part of this story to help lighten up certain readers. In hopes that they understand that reading (and writing) can carry two purposes. That of entertainment, and that of message deliverance. Below you will find a story written solely for entertainment. Critics, do not attempt to analyze this with a novel perspective (it's only a few pages, there is no extraordinary plot line, you will fail). Do not attempt to analyze this with a short story perspective (there is no hidden message or symbolism, you will fail). Do not attempt to analyze this with a television series perspective (This isn't Naruto or a soap opera, there isn't a cliff hanger after every chapter to keep you viewing. You will fail). This story has strictly been written for fun. It is ridiculous, derived from a very peculiar form of humor. Now sit back, read, and try not to overanalyze. Silly gooses.

Adam Gilbert

As soon as Fox McCloud and I landed in his ship, there was a giant explosion. I do not recall what caused the explosion exactly, but it may or may not have been related with the grenade charger I'd picked up from McCloud's R-Wing. As soon as the fires spread across the ship, several of the Starfox members came out in an attempt to douse the flames.

Peppy and Falco were the first to arrive, and quickly found that Fox had been engulfed by flame. He was thrashing about, screaming at the top of his lungs, "AH! Flipping help me! I'm on fire!"

"Fox!" Falco cried in a panic. When I saw Falco, dressed in his cool unique battle suit, I grew excited. I ran over to him, like a fat child runs to candy.

"Hey Falco! Where are you going?"

Falco turned to me in a panic, slightly bewildered to see a human on board the ship. "I've found the target!" He threw a fire extinguisher my way, "try to keep up!"

"Alright!" We ran through the hallways of fire and smoke. The sound of the Great Fox alarms rung in our ears. Red lights flashed on and off as our group followed the engulfed Fox down a long corridor. Fox soon let out a death cry, and as he did, Slippy jumped through the window of the kitchen room.

His eyes were tearing, and in a blinding rage he screamed. Tearing off his jump suit, and falling to his knees in agony, "It's too hot! I can't take it anymore!"

"Knock it off Slippy!" Peppy roared. He ran over to the little toad (Who happened to be on fire) and slapped, no, punched him in his face! Blood spattered onto the white tile flooring.

Slippy looked at him, contempt and betrayal overpowering his face, "Why Peppy… why?"

"Try a summersault!" Peppy roared, Judo throwing Slippy into the floor. So the toad did, somersaulting all about the cool tiled floor until his enflamed clothes were doused.

Once the flames had been quenched, he looked at Peppy with a smile, "Phew, that was too close."

"Yes! It was." I answered. Now, it was at this point that the Starfox team took the time to look my way. I smiled at them, fire extinguisher in hand. They took me in for a moment, then looked at Fox down the hall, then back to me. Fox let out another wail in the as he proceeded to drop to the floor and roll.

"Who are you?" Peppy asked me.

Fox continued to roll on the floor, accidently knocking over a can of gasoline as he did so.

"My name is Alex." I replied, "I'm Fox's friend."

Falco let out a scoff, "I guess I should be thankful…"

The gasoline poured over Fox's fur, he lit up like a lantern. This caught the attention of the rest of the team. Falco was the first to speak.

"Well, looks like he's on fire…"

Slippy nodded, "Maybe we should put him out?"

There was a silence as all three Starfox members watched Fox a little longer. Surprisingly, none of them did anything. It was actually Krystal who eventually came to douse him out. Afterwards, she proceeded to douse the rest of the ship with ice attacks, upon which there was much rejoicing.

Needless to say, my entry into the Great Fox wasn't as low key as I would've have hoped. Once Fox had been given several healing medications to aid his burns, all focus was drawn to me. Shortly thereafter, I was placed in bindings and sent to the criminal holding cells of the ship. The cells were fairly nice actually, each hosted a large hologram television and mini food pantry.

But I digress, I didn't have much time to enjoy the luxuries of my ship. Most of the time I was blindfolded, guided this way and that for several weeks. It would remain this way until Fox McCloud was well enough to speak, and speak he did. He had seemed to develop some form of dementia, and insisted that I had hijacked him and his ship in order to destroy the Great Fox. Upon hearing these accusations, the Starfox team agreed it best to interrogate me. They carried me to a dark engine room, and once I had been bound to a metal pillar, my blindfold was removed.

Greased covered chains hung all around me. I could hear the buzzing of dimming lights overhead, and my eyes focused on a table. It was covered with numerous amounts of blades and other intimidating items. The sight made me gulp, and breath heavily, and then gulp again. Or perhaps I breathed heavily twice… I cannot remember. I was in a great deal of stress at that point.

Falco stood before me, hands crossed, a bright light seeping over his back, "We are about to integrate you." He stated calmly.

"Oh no… no, no, no!" I screamed, "Please for the love of the world no! NO!"

Falco yawned, "Yes. I'm sorry, it must be done."

"But I haven't done anything." I looked around, Fox and the others looked onward from an observation room above me, "Fox! Tell them! I haven't done anything!"

"You tried to blow up our ship," Falco said. His fiery eyes caught mine, "Saboteur."

"Lies!" I screamed.

"Assassin, devil, marauder, mercenary killer!"

"All lies!"

"Enough!" Fox called from the viewing room, "Give him the treatment Falco. The treatment!"

Falco let out a devilish smile. His beak growing all too wide for the sides of his skull, surely he would rip his head wide with a smile like that. Surely! He pulled a blade from the table, "Who sent you huh? Who sent you?"

"I came of my own will! I came with Fox!" I replied, tears running down my face. "Falco, don't do this…"

"Ah ha! A lone wolf eh? Wolf… wolf…" Falco stepped closer towards me, and slowly raised the blade to my neck. He let its tip touch my throat. "You work for Star Wolf… don't you?"

"What? No, I work for none of the sorts! I came to admire you Falco." My eyes were starry, I looked over at the rest of the team. "I came to admire all of you…"

There was a silence, Falco and I caught one another's gaze. "What, did you just say?" He asked me.

"I came to admire the Starfox team…" My voice was filled with sincerity and sadness. Not even the most diabolical man in the world could turn from me. I was pitiful, I demanded compassion.

Falco shook his head, "No, before that… what did you say?"

I looked at him, "I… came to admire you?"

Falco's eyes dilated, "Me?"

"Y-yes…"

Falco removed the knife from my neck, he let it drop to the floor. "Do you, love me?"

And then, silence came between us. For a good five minutes or so, silence. My sadness had all but vanished, and was now replaced with bewilderment and terror. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Do you love me?" He asked again, bashfully. He toyed with the feathers on the top of his head, and my stomach dropped several feet.

"Uh…" I wasn't sure how to respond. I knew any answer I gave would only lead to despair. I simply stared, like a dear who'd been caught in headlights.

"Do you want to kiss me?" He asked, stepping far past my personal boundary zone.

"Falco… I'm not going to lie…"

"Yes?"

"This has gone way overboard on the weird scale for me." I cleared my throat, his beak inches away from the nose. "Like, on a scale from one to ten of weird, this is definitely around the ten area."

"Kiss me Sapien." He said.

"Falco, think about this!" But Falco didn't even bother to answer my plea, he closed in for the kiss. I struggled and squirmed to be freed from my binds. But it was to no avail, he came close, escape was impossible.

And as our passionate moment came to its crescendo, I snapped up! Passing through a layer of blankets and pillows, awake and breathing heavily in the corner of my room. I looked around in a panic, only to find the sun shining lazily across the carpeted floor of my personal corridors.

"A dream!" I exclaimed with excitement, "It was all a dream!" I laughed and jumped with glee as I arose and ran into my bathroom. What madness had driven me to such a frightful story? What had brought about such a tale of the Starfox team? Perhaps an overdose of sweets… yes… perhaps. I pondered these as I caught my reflection in the bathroom mirror, and then I grew pale.

For on my neck and cheeks, lay red marks, as if I were pecked by a bird.

FIN