One of the things that Adora Belle learnt early on in her marriage was that Moist had a tendency to fidget a lot in his sleep. And by fidget, she meant random limb flailing. Elbow driven into back in the middle of the night. Knee meeting hip in the early hours of the morning. Everything else was going perfectly; their breakfast habits coincided nicely, they had lunch together nearly every day in the bank suite, and the easiest way to avoid Gladys was to retreat to the bedroom. Which neither of them were really complaining about.
When they finally settled down to sleep though…that was when the problems started.
He had mentioned the other day that he'd woken up once and heard her talking utter gibberish, but earplugs were a very easy solution to that. At this rate, she was going to end up being pushed out of bed. Although, if push came to shove, it was definitely going to be him, not her,landing on the floor.
Adora hissed in pain and pure irritation as, for the third time that night, he managed to kick her in the side. She rolled over, poised and ready to inflict bloody murder…
And then she saw his face, and faltered. Even in his sleep, there was no mistaking the total terror in his expression. She reached over to take his shoulders and wake him, but all of a sudden he flinched, and then he was gasping and choking and writhing, his legs kicking frantically against air, his fingers scrabbling madly at the ghost of a rope that once tightened around his neck.
"Moist!" she grabbed him and shook him, "Moist, wake up! Moist! Moist!"
He sat up in one swift movement, knocking her hands aside, hacking and panting, eyes wide. Shaken, she touched his shoulder, and realised he was trembling.
"'S a dream." he muttered between heavy breaths, turning and seeing her for the first time. "'S just a dream."
She nodded, swallowing and regaining her composure. "You're okay. Go back to sleep."
He lay back down, and she shuffled backwards against him, allowing him to wrap his arms around her and bury his face in her back. She felt him relax into her and his breathing began to slow. She closed her eyes.
"I've killed two people."
Adora's eyes snapped open again, "What?"
"2.338 people. Mr Pump worked it out. Two people died, because of me. I killed them."
Her first reaction was, "Don't be stupid, Moist." and she'd opened her mouth to say it when she realised that he was still trembling. Instead, she rolled over to face him.
"Okay," She said.
"Okay?"
"There's nothing you can do about it. It's irredeemable. Its done."
Moist nodded miserably. She touched his face; tenderness wasn't her strong suite, but she could muster it when her husband really needed her.
"But - just think. How many people have you helped keep alive with your tiny little loans? Silly, tiny money. But ten dollars for a week is just enough to feed a small family. Thirty dollars for a month could keep a student with a roof over his head. You saved Bent from the bank vault, and you saved Groat and Stanley - and Tiddles - from the Post Office fire." she smiled a little, "You saved my father, by giving him back the Clacks, and giving him back his hope."
Moist von Lipwig swallowed, "It doesn't make up for it."
"No, it doesn't," Adora Belle agreed "But, it's a good start. And it makes you a better person."
"A better person…" he murmured, curling up under the covers.
"Go to sleep, Moist." she said softly. He nodded, and closed his eyes.
She stayed awake until she was sure that he'd fallen asleep, and then watched him until, in his dreams, he smiled.
..
The words that we say and the words that we mean, well words can fall short, can't see the unseen, cause the world is awake for somebody's sake, now please close your eyes woman, please get some sleep.
Resolve is just a concept that's as dead as the leaves, but at least we can sleep, its all that we need, when we wake we will find our minds will be free to go to sleep.
And know that if I knew all of the answers I would not hold them from you, you'd know all the things that I'd know; we told each other - there is no other way.
-Jack Johnson