Ok for some reason this came into my head and I needed a bit of angst as my story I am working on New Girl is quite the opposite to angst so I had to get some out for some reason.

It was just something that small, that simple that made that connection between them falter again. Jealousy.

Over the years that one simple thing had always put a damper on their relationship, sure they weren't actually in a romantic or committed relationship with each other or anything, but when they saw each other happy with another it sure as hell felt like they had that relationship considering just how much it hurt them to watch.

Sure they wanted each other to be happy, who wouldn't want their friend and partner who they spent most of their time with to be happy? It's just watching them happy with someone else killed them inside. They didn't speak a word of how they truly felt to each other, they had come close but never had, they were both to stubborn to admit they actually had feelings.

And this time it was Ziva David who fell into the inner emotional strain when she saw him happy with someone else. She was happy at the start of the evening, sure she wasn't ecstatically happy but it was a normal happy, as happy as she could be without him by her side. She was walking down the street in the cool DC air, jacket pulled tight around her body, hot coffee in hand and she was soaking in the free feel the city night had drawn out of her.

She was walking down a considerably quiet street, one that was filled with warm light from the passing restaurants, each filled with people, happy, smiling. She gazed into the passing windows as she walked by, taking in the busy movements in the restaurants. She walked across a street and then gazed at the next restaurant she passed.

It was hard to miss his bright smile, his soft green eyes that held a special sparkle. She suddenly stopped and for some reason she felt utterly cold even though the air was still cool. She watched for a moment lost in the scene before her. He smiled that charming smile of his at the beautiful woman he shared his table with, her hand reached out and touched his softly, something flashed in his eyes that she couldn't place but Ziva knew he was happy.

Ziva pulled her eyes from the scene and walked faster down the street. Why couldn't that be her? That's right it's because it would never be her, all these years the steps they took forward together would be small but then they would always take a bigger step back. For some reason as soon as she and Tony got to close they would pull back and everything would start again. They would get closer, and then take that step back, then they would get closer, and then take that step back, it was a never ending repeating game that they played. A game that would tug harshly at their hearts.

Sometimes Ziva thought the game was over, when Tony got really close she thought they would just give in, but then he would take the step back. Did he ever think how much it hurt her deep down when he did that to her? Sure they hadn't ever been intimate with each other but their relationship wasn't just about that, just one simple look could mean so much between them.

Ziva was sick of this game, if he was going to be happy with someone else she was going to just throw in the cloth…no towel, throw in the towel and give up, stop this stupid game between them. She had had enough of waiting for this to ever happen. Slowly Jealousy was going to tear her heart apart, knowing he was off happy with someone else. Jealousy would always weaken that strength they had between them.

Ziva had walked all the way back to her apartment. She had no reason why but she felt alone in her heart, it was only a matter of time before one more of his escapades finally broke her on the inside. She had never been attached to him romantically, but the bond they had was different it was unusual, they way they would look at each other would dig all the way into the others soul, reading them, learning them, making them one with each other.

He knew her better than anyone, she knew him better than anyone, they just had that connection from the day they met that was hard to brake, made it had to look away. Their partnership was one of the strongest created, moving and working with each other without words, their bodies just had that flow with each other that was present there from the beginning.

It was like they were soul mates. She had asked him about soul mates once, taking that step forward, he made some stupid joke, he took the step back

She had tried to move on, she had Michael and she was beginning to fall away from Tony's pull he had on her, even though she knew that pull would be there no matter what, but at least it made it weaker when she had Michael. But then that same thing had dampened their relationship, Jealousy. Tony denied that he was jealous but she could see it in his eyes, he was jealous

When Ziva started to shy away from Tony he could feel it, then he had ended up killing Michael, Ziva's barrier from Tony. She was so mad at him, Tony would keep his distance from Ziva, still getting close but always taking the step back but when Ziva was with someone else and Tony became jealous he would push her so far. He would get in her face about things, snoop around her desk, ask her questions, he would pry until he found out.

It bugged Ziva that he would always get close and want to know everything when she was with someone else because he wouldn't open up to her when it mattered. Then he would ruin everything for her, he would somehow make the competition go away and Ziva would be left alone again, and then Tony would keep his distance. It frustrated her when he didn't want her with someone else but he wouldn't take that step forward and have her himself.

His actions showed he didn't like her with anyone else but he seemed to freely go to others, what about what Ziva wanted? She didn't like to see him with anyone else, let alone hear about his 'night last night with some chick'. It broke her heart. Ever since Somalia she had been able to hide her hurt more and he seemed to be softer and more casual with his prying, but he still did it.

Sometimes they would hang out outside of work; it was nice and comfortable when they let down their walls. But when he took that step back they were back to the beginning again. Sometimes they would be on her couch watching a movie together, and when it ended and they realized how close they were sitting together and how comfortable it was to be like that with each other, he would move away and then say he should head home because its 'getting late'.

Or they were walking down the street or to their cars after a peaceful and cheerful dinner, when their hands accidentally brushed he would take a step away and say goodnight, and leave. Or they would be talking, and they would start really talking, when it would get to serious he would laugh it off with a joke of some sort. Again with the jokes! She thought he had grown but every time something got too serious for him he would hide behind his mask with jokes.

Then at work everything would be back to normal, like he hadn't sudden left the night before. She went with it because she just always followed her heart and it was easier to go along with him even if he would always shy away from her.

But now as Ziva lay on her back in her bed thinking about it, she was starting to give up on Tony, Ziva wasn't getting any younger and she was tired of being alone. If Tony was going to be jealous when she tried to move on, which would be hard but she would try, he would have to deal with it because she had had enough, and she was tired of them playing this game.

She just hoped jealousy wouldn't shatter her heart, it was broken enough from him shying away from her love.

Continue?