Zero: I have Batman sheets and every time I go to bed this fic pops into my head so I finally wrote it down.

Insert standard disclaimer here.

Kurt Hummel was six years old. At this point, Burt Hummel had already had three years to go through the five stages of loss regarding his sons sexuality. Denial had come first and his wife, Leah, had known enough about what kind of man Burt was to let him work through that on his own. He'd been angry for a while, but not at his son, never at his son. It wasn't Kurt's fault that he was the way he was.

Bargaining and depression had gone hand and hand. He was thankful that Kurt was too young to understand what Burt was trying to do. Little Kurt didn't understand that the rain of traditionally boyish toys (plastic cars, legos, a t-ball set) where Burt's way of trying to get him to be different. A kind of 'See, if you're like other boys you can have all this!'. Kurt had huffed a bit more with each one and there were repeated 'Daddy, I asked for the new Barbie, the one that talks when you press her necklace!' and similar sentences.

Acceptance had come on Kurt's fifth birthday. With a bit of urging from Leah, Burt had given in and finally bought Kurt a Barbie like he'd wanted since he was old enough to know what Barbies were. He had waited until after the party was actually over and all the other children from Kurt's preschool had gone home before he had given it to him. The look of happiness on his little boy's face was what ultimately changed Burt. That was the last time he deliberately hid something for later because he was ashamed of what other peoples reactions might be.

Bottom line was that Burt had already accepted that his six year old son was going to be gay, but that didn't mean he didn't have the slightest hope that maybe his boy was just a bit feminine. So when he came home from work one night the same time that his wife and son got back from shopping he was pretty happy to see his son bouncing up and down and clutching a Batman action figure.

Batman, now there was a toy that six year old boys normally played with.

That night Burt watched as Kurt carefully set Batman on his nightstand in a standing position that had him facing the bed. Kurt crawled into his bed where Burt had already peeled the covers back and rolled onto his side to stare at the figure intensely. Burt wished his son good night, tucked him in and shut off the bedroom light. He left the door open a crack so that the hall light would filter a little into Kurt's room and he wouldn't get scared.

Leah was down in the kitchen doing dishes and Burt slid up behind her. With his hand around her hips he leaned over her should and kissed her on the cheek. She set down the plate in her hand and turned in his arms.

"Batman, huh?" Burt asked.

"I was surprised too," his wife replied. "But you know Kurt, he likes what he likes."

"I'm not complaining," Burt followed with a hearty laugh. "When I was Kurt's age all the boys wanted to be Batman."

Leah's tinkling laughter filled the air and she leaned forward to rest her head on Burt's shoulder. Her body shook for a few moments before her laughter died off. When she lifted her head again she had a look in her eyes that Burt couldn't quite place, but he just shrugged it off.

"I love you, Burt."

"Love you too."

Over the next few weeks Burt watched with a sense of fatherly satisfaction and his son accumulated more Batman stuff. He was so happy that his son was finally getting into something boyish that he didn't mind spoiling him a bit more than usual. Every time he would buy Kurt something else (a lunch box, a back pack, a folder), his wife would stare at him with that same look in her eyes before laughing gently and telling Burt that she loved him.

Approximately seven weeks after Kurt's sudden interest in Batman had developed he and Burt were in Walmart together on a mission from Leah. Burt's mother-in-law was coming to Lima within the next week to visit and Leah had deemed the pillows on the guest bed in need of replacement.

Burt was wondering through the isles that were stocked with bedding items with Kurt trailing diligently behind him when he heard a short, loud intake of breath that he recognized as being distinctly Kurt. He turned to look at his son, who was already halfway down an isle to the right.

"Kurt!" Burt called out as he followed. "You know better than to wonder off," he came to a stop behind his son who was completely entranced by the item in front of him.

"Dad, look," little Kurt's voice was filled with complete awe.

In front of them was a Batman bed set. No comforter, but sheets and two pillow cases. The color scheme was something his already picky son would normally never pay attention to, but Batman outweighed everything else in the kid's mind.

"Dad, can I have them? Pleeeeeeeease?" Kurt turned around to look up at Burt as he drew out the last syllable into a high pitched whine.

Burt should put his foot down, he knew he should. The set for Kurt's size bed was $30.00 and all the other things that Burt had bought for his son while inexpensive separately were beginning to add up. Kurt's eyes began to shine slightly with unshed tears as he began to sense what his fathers answer would be.

"Damnit," Burt muttered under his breath. "Okay kid, grab it."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Kurt grabbed the bedding package and clutched it tightly to his chest.

That night before Kurt's bedtime Burt pulled the new sheets onto his sons bed while the boy tapped his bounced on his heels excitedly behind him. Leah came into the bedroom just as Burt finished remaking the bed. She walked up behind her son, leaned down and pecked a kiss onto the top of his head before telling him to crawl into the bed.

"I got him tonight, honey," Leah spoke softly to her husband.

"I don't mind helping," Burt replied. Kurt had always been an easy child to get to bed, and Burt was thankful for that every day. When he was a kid he had fought his mom tooth and nail for an extra few minutes of awake time but Kurt was content to curl up and go to sleep.

"Why don't you wait in the hall," Leah insisted. "I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay," Burt was a bit puzzled but complied. He exited the room and closed the door partway so that Kurt wouldn't be able to see him just beyond it. He spied through the open crack as Leah pulled the covers around Kurt and kissed his forehead before sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I see your Dad bought you new sheets.

"Uh huh. Aren't they so cool, Mom?" Kurt grinned happily and snuggled his head back onto his pillow.

"Yeah, they're really nice." Leah said with one hundred percent sincerity as she smiled down at her happy son.

"Now me and Batman are just like you and Daddy!" His son said giddily. Burt's mouth fell open as he heard that. As if she had been expecting Kurt to say just that, Leah replied.

"And how is that, sweetie?"

"Because when grown ups reeeally like someone they sleep in the same bed, right? And now I get to sleep with Batman." Kurt's voice had a very 'duh, Mom, how could you not know?' kind of tone.

Burt left his point in the hallway and walked to his and Leah's room. He got ready for bed on autopilot and his wife slipped into the room just as he was pulling the blankets over his legs. Burt was sitting up with his back to the headboard. She closed their bedroom door with a soft click behind her and soon was perched on the edge of the bed much like she had been in Kurt's room.

Burt looked at her and she stared back with that same look as usual and it clicked in Burt's head. Knowing, that was the look. She had realized from the beginning that Kurt didn't like Batman because he was a butt kicking superhero like the other boys would. Kurt liked Batman because…well Burt didn't know. But he like liked Batman, and now Burt sounded like a grade schooler.

"I think I liked it better when he wanted Barbies."

Leah Hummel through back her head and laughed hard and loud.

End