A/N: I woke up this morning with the urge to finish this. I know I am screwing ya guys out of a three some buuut I just wanted to get the last chapter out before school starts getting too busy for me.
It's been a hell of a ride writing this it's been about three years since I updated but I thought it deserves an ending, I am not sure if anyone is still around to read this but if you are I hope I don't screw ya over with this R&R
Also the timeline might be a bit screwie since I didn't really watch wrestling a lot at this time…
Do you wanna see heaven tonight?
Underneath those lights you will look so beautiful
Do you wanna see the stars before they fall,
See the stars before they fall?
"We should find Heath, I have to get ready to go out soon and I don't wanna leave you alone." Wade's voice shook me out of my daze. That seemed to happen more often than not these day. My head feels like it is a full of cotton, I can't focus on much. The doctors say it will remedy its self, that I just need time to heal but I think its more then that but Wade thinks I'm doing fine so I'm just going to let him keep thinking that.
"I'm assuming he found Christian, he knows which locker room you are in, he'll find me. I'll be okay for alittle bit by myself." I shrugged tugging my sleeves down over my hands, I have not worn anything other than sweat pants and baggy sweaters since I got out of the hospital. No one looked at me twice and it was better that way.
" Are you sure you are going to be okay by yourself?" Wade asked in that worried tone that made me so mad.
" I'm not a fuckin' child, I can spend an hour by myself without wondering off or freaking out." I snapped before I had a chance to stop myself.
"Justin, I trust you alright. Just go to the locker room and relax it should be fairly empty okay." His voice stayed calm but I would be lying if I said he did not look tired. I nodded and gave him a quick kiss, moving away before he could get any more contact.
"Good luck Wade." I said before turning to go back to the locker room to get away from everyone else in this building. I like to think I am a pretty good actor and I can handle the stares and questioning glances I get but sometime I need to be by myself. I can't even handle Wade sometimes, I think part of his expects me to be handling this like Heath but I'm not. Heath is doing okay, he lets people touch him without getting all twitchy and weird about it. I can't even handle Wade hugging me anymore. It makes me feel like I'm suffocating. I always feel like I'm suffocating, I wish I would it might make things easier.
I could already hear my WWE mandated shrink droning on in my head about negative self talk and that things will get easier overtime. Thing's getting betting is what I call bullshit on, Punk was not fired, Husky was not fire none of them lose their jobs. I still see them and I still hear people talk about them how am I supposed to get better when I'm surrounded by my abuser every week, according to the higher ups he is not supposed to come within fifty feet of me or Heath but that means nothing to me. Promises mean nothing. No one else spoke up it was just all on me and Heath. Two complaints compared to at least ten we were paid well to keep quiet but the nightmares are not going to go away.
I pushed open the locker room door and froze when I saw other people in the room. I knew Wade had to share a locker room now but I expected everyone to be busy but Daniel Bryan was in the room with Gail Kim. He looked up when he saw me walk in.
"Sorry guys, I'll leave yawl alone." I said quickly backing up out of the door. Daniel shot up off the couch and shook his head motioning for me to come back in.
"No you come in and relax Gail has to wrestle soon anyways."
" Ya honey you come in and relax you look tired." The small woman said kissing Daniel on the cheek. " I'll get ya after my match and we can go and get something to eat." Gail said before grabbing her bag and leaving the room. Daniel made his way to the door also.
"Daniel wait..can we talk?" I asked sitting down on the couch with a sigh. He stopped and went to sit on the other end of the couch. " So you and Gail?" I asked trying to make it seem less awkward.
"She found out about me and Derrick and she was okay with it. Derrick was okay with her and so was I so we are trying to make it work." He laughed running his fingers through his hair. " I'm guessing you are tired of hearing this but how are you doing?"
"I'm tired, I'm angry and I'm a mess." I shrugged laying my head back on the couch. " I can't let Wade touch me and I'm tired of everyone looking at me like I'm broken. Why can't I be like Heath, he is probably fucking Christian right now… I tried to give Wade a hand job and I started crying. When woke up I nearly pounced on him, I wouldn't let him out of my sight and now I freak out."
" If anyone thought you were gonna be back to normal after what happened is a fucking moron." Daniel said simply. " When I first got fired I couldn't even function, I stayed locked in the house and it was even worse when they rehired me my parents called 911 since I panicked so badly. It took therapy, time and having two people in my life to make things seem normal. I have bad days too Justin and the bad days are fucking awful. I can't eat, I can't sleep and Im not good to be around but the good days out way the bad. Seeing the look on fans faces when I wrestle makes everything better. When I see Gail and Derrick it makes everything better. Punk fucked up a lot of lives but no one else had the guts to do something about it, you and Heath did. You guys survived and you know what it wont be easy but you need to start focusing on yourself. Fuck what the rest of them think, get yourself a real shrink not the bullshit one they got for you, do things that make you happy and if something doesn't make you happy don't do it. What makes you happy Justin?"
I had to think carefully about that. Wade made me happy, Heath made me happy and even thought it had so many bad memories attached to working here being in the ring made me happy. I let out a shaky laughed and nodded.
" Okay so a new shrink and do what makes me happy?" I said looking over at the other man who was smiling softly.
" Do that and don't give a fuck what the people here say about you. You are here because you can wrestle and you can wrestle well. You debut on Smackdown in one week and you need to get in the right frame of mind for it. You don't need to worry kid but if you love this business then you need to work for it. You got screwed over but you need to do this to prove everyone wrong who thought you would be nothing after what he did to you." Daniel said getting up from the couch. " I have to go and watch Gail's match, you should have a nap. Things will get better Justin, just keep fighting"
"Thanks Daniel…for everything." I told him trying to keep my eyes from watering. " Gail and Derrick are pretty damn lucky to have you."
"Wade is lucky to have you but don't let him get off to easy." He squeezed my shoulder before going out the door to watch Gail's match.
I relaxed on the couch and closed my eyes, I was so tired but Daniel's words kept playing through my head over and over again. Keep fighting, I was never going to stop fighting again.
It was a week later and Heath and I were hidden behind the barrier to make our debut during Wade's match with The Big Show. It was us and this big man named Zeke who even though he was massive he acted like a teddy bear. I was doing better, physically I was pretty much back to normal and mentally I am still not great some days but just like Daniel said I was not going to stop fighting for this.
The Nexus almost broke me. They beat me, they raped me and they made me feel like death would have believe that death would be kinder. They almost broke me. I am not lost anymore, I have a man who even though we have rough patches loves me more then anything, I have a best friend who went through this with me and is thriving now thanks to the two blonde Canadians that have kept him more than busy and I have a job that I love and I will never stop loving. I will fight until my last breath and I know I have people backing me up.
"J you ready?" Heath whispered grinning at me brighter then I have seen in a while. I nodded and grabbed his hand tight before letting go and leaping over the barrier. This was a new start for me and I was not going to let it slip through my fingers. I spent months in hell but this angel is never going to stop fighting again