Have you ever loved someone so much it actually hurt to be apart from them? Have you ever been so afraid of losing them, of getting hurt yourself that you purposely screwed things up so you wouldn't be the one who was hurt? If you're ever in that situation, take my advice and don't let her get away.

I'd known her all my life, but we were different, her and I. She was the perfect blonde cheerleader who everyone loved and I was the cocky brother of Degrassi's resident transgender. I really wasn't a bad guy, but when you see a bunch of guys beating up your only sister or brother, rather, it's hard to just turn the other way. I quickly obtained the reputation of the bad ass who didn't hold any qualms about fucking someone up. The truth was, I intervened when I needed to, but I mostly just stayed to myself.

I remember the first time that I realized I was in love with Jenna. Three assholes from the football team ganged up on Adam in the hallway, shoving him. They even went as far as nearly throwing him down a flight of stairs. I, of course, jumped in the middle of it. I ended up with a swollen mouth and a couple broken ribs, but it was safe to say they wouldn't be hassling my brother any more. It was after normal school hours; luckily no administration dickheads were around to add any more pressure to the situation. It was done and they knew now not to screw with my brother. Adam had gone out to my truck to get me a clean shirt. If mom saw one more ripped up, bloody t-shirt she was going to ship both of us off to boarding school. She already didn't approve of Adams 'choice' of ..well, being Adam. And she certainly didn't like my ruffian reputation. People at this damn school will spread any kind of lie they can think of just to get some attention. If I did half the stuff they said I did, I'd be dead.

"Hey Drew" I had been sitting in the floor, leaning up against my locker when the three of them walked by. It was Ali, Clare and Jenna. Shockingly, it was Clare who spoke first, not so shockingly, she added "Did you come here straight from a gang fight?" she snidely gestured toward my busted lip and my all over sour look.

Ali laughed, Jenna didn't. Before I could come back with a crass remark of my own, Jenna chimed in. "Is Adam okay?" She knew why I'd been fighting. She was intuitive that way. I again, couldn't answer fast enough "Your lip is messed up pretty bad, do you need help?" She had dropped her backpack and was kneeling down beside me checking out my busted up face.

"Jenna what are you…?" Ali didn't want her friend near a guy like me. I got it; she thought I wasn't good enough. I probably wasn't. Jenna wasn't like the other girls around here. She may have been popular, beautiful, and had a killer body, but she didn't act like it.

She was sweet, always trying to help others. I'd wanted her since the first day I'd laid eyes on her. Okay, so maybe back in 2nd grade I didn't exactly want her that way, but I'd always been drawn to her. We had been best friends for a long time, up until a few years ago. Even though we weren't close anymore, I wasn't blind. My body reacted just from seeing her. I'd had my fair share of conquests around Degrassi, mostly girls who wanted to know what it was like to be with the resident bad ass. They of course didn't like me, not the real me, they liked the danger. They liked the attention, negative attention was better than no attention at all; they received from being linked with the trouble maker who didn't take anything off of anyone. But Jenna wasn't like that. Even though I'd done and said some pretty messed up things to her in the recent past, she never treated me like I was the bad influence I knew I was. She always referred to my bad streak as if it wasn't really me, as if some evil person had kidnapped the real Drew. The way she looked at me, her eyes looking into mine, it was like she knew what I was really thinking or feeling. She never said anything though.

"Ali it's fine, you guys go on ahead" When she turned to talk to dumb and dumber her long blonde hair brushed against my arm. She smelled so good; I remember she smelled like fruit and honey all mixed together. She was ditching her friends to make sure I was okay. The boy, who had hurt her, treated her like she was nothing to save himself from being hurt. She was choosing me, over her best friends. Okay, so maybe she wasn't really choosing me over them for good, but there in that moment she chose me. Even though I probably wouldn't have admitted it then, that was when I fell completely, all the way, in love with Jenna. I didn't just want a rough tumble with her in one of the empty science labs or to throw her up against the wall in the boiler room. I wanted all of her. I just wanted her.

"C.K. isn't going to like this" Clare folded her arms, and gave us a defiant look. Ah yes, C.K. the captain of the basketball team, and Jenna's long time boyfriend. They were like Ken and Barbie, the school's deemed "Golden Couple". It made me sick; he was more of a womanizer than people even thought I was. He'd never given me a legitimate reason to kick his ass , but I was waiting. I'd have loved an excuse to beat the pulp out of that smug bastard.

"I don't give a fuck what C.K. wants." Okay, I was being an ass, but Clare really irked my nerves when she acted all high and mighty. "Run along." I added, with a smirk.

"Shh Drew" Jenna softly patted my chest. God, what I wouldn't give to have her hands on me when we were alone and without all these damned clothes between us. "Clare, tell C.K. I'll call him later and something important came up"

"Whatever, just don't come crying to us when your reputation is ruined from hanging around …THAT" she turned her nose up and waddled away, a horrified Ali in tow.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jenna ignored the ignorant comment and began checking my face with her fingers for broken bones.

"Yeah. I'm a big boy. I can handle it" I gave her a smirk and she matched it with a famous Jenna smile. "You didn't have to ditch your friends for me. Adam will be back with a clean shirt soon" 'And if you keep touching me like that, I'm not going to be responsible for taking you right here in the hallway,' I silently added.

"It's what friends do. You needed help" She was wasn't looking at me as she spoke, instead she was tugging at my white t shirt that wasn't tucked into my school slacks, against regulation. "Take this off; I can use it to clean up that lip." Before I knew what was happening, she was sliding my shirt up over my head. She reached in her backpack and grabbed a bottle of water, poured some on my destroyed shirt and began cleaning up my bloody lip.

"I didn't realize we were friends" I said honestly, her bright blue eyes flashed up to meet my dark ones. I was trying to concentrate on anything but her bare slender legs kneeling beside my hips and her soft hands nursing my bruised skin. She may have meant everything in the most innocent way, but COME ON! I'm a hormone driven 17 year old guy.

"We were" she bit her bottom lip nervously, an innocent twitch that made my whole body hum with desire for her. "Before you changed, before you started acting so jerky" she was busy again, cleaning the blood that had seeped through my shirt and onto my chest and stomach. 'And we have LIFT OFF!' I thought sarcastically. Can you blame me though? I practically have a hot cheerleader giving me a sponge bath and I'm supposed to keep my mind out of the gutter? That's bullshit!

"I don't do anything that isn't necessary" I grasped her chin between my thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look at me. Her body unconsciously shifted toward mine and I dropped my other hand to her lower back, in preparation to pull her up against me. I knew it was wrong, we couldn't be together. She was the good girl, the one who never did anything wrong. She had the perfect life. Adding me to the equation would only screw things up for her. I did more harm than good. But there, in that moment, I didn't care. The only thing on my mind was feeling her soft lips slide against my rough, bruised ones. How had I gone so long without tasting her?

Her eyes fluttered shut and I took that as a sign that she wanted me too. I took a shallow breath, ignoring the pain of the broken ribs I'd recently suffered. My hand slid around her hip and pulled her closer to me. I leaned in, my lips barely a whisper away from hers.

"What the hell are you two doing?"

To Be Continued…

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