How to Properly Serve Vodka, a naruto fanfic

How to Properly Serve Vodka

Summary: What's the best way to serve vodka? With a side of a sexy blonde, of course!

Warning: This fic does involve seduction! Sexy dancing and the use, for a lack of a better word, of vodka and its bottle are included! SasuNaru by the way!

A/N: This fic is a birthday present for Sabaku no Sayuri! Hope you like it!

Naruto was currently in the kitchen, slurping up a bowl of his beloved miso ramen. He was waiting for the return of his teme, who had been assigned an A-Rank mission to assassinate underworld bigshot that had been causing trouble for Konoha. Naruto knew that Sasuke was perfectly capable of taking care of himself, but he still worried about him.

It was moments like this that Naruto thought back to how he brought his lover back to Konoha.

Team Hebi was currently in Nami no Kuni, taking a break from their journey to find and kill Uchiha Itachi. Suigetsu had managed to inquire as to where the local bar was in town. He also managed to (miraculously) convince everyone to go there and get a drink.

Suigetsu had ordered a round of sake for everyone. That was all Karin, Jūgo, and Sasuke had.

However, Suigetsu kept on ordering and ordering for himself until Sasuke intervened, saying that he needed everyone to stay sober. Then everyone in the bar heard a frustrated scream. "TAZUNA!" All the regulars chuckled.

An old man came into the bar from the back room, snickering about Naruto's crap luck. Sasuke raised an eyebrow. What's the bridge builder doing here? And what's this about Naruto?

Then Naruto came out of the back room, and Sasuke's heart nearly stopped. What was the usuratonkachi doing here looking all sexy?

Naruto was wearing a black lace cami that stopped right above his belly button, hugging the gentle curves of his feminine figure. His legs were clad in pair of blood red leather shorts that barely covered the upper third of his thighs. They rode low on his hips, giving the extremely grateful Uchiha a peek of delicious tan skin. Naruto wore a pair of high-heeled knee high boots that brought attention to his mile long legs. Sasuke leaned back to discreetly ogle the other's leather covered ass, in all it's perky glory. Perfectly round mounds of golden flesh were just made for groping and pounding into.

He'd be damned if he didn't get a piece of that.

"TAZUNA, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? I COME BACK TO VISIT AND I GET ALL MY CLOTHES REPLACED WITH SHIT THAT ONLY A STRIPPER WOULD WEAR!" Naruto shrieked.

Inner Sasuke praised Tazuna and the gods as he heard this.

Tazuna chuckled. "Awww, Naruto! Have you forgotten about that bet we had? You haven't even paid the full price yet! Oh, Sasuke-san, how are you!" The blond stiffened, cursing himself for not realizing Sasuke's presence. Now that he looked, all of Team Hebi was there. Crap, he was going to have to do that in front of all of them.

Maybe he could work this to his advantage. Contrary to popular belief, he noticed the lustful stares Sasuke had given him during their genin days. He had also come to terms with the fact that he was bisexual after seeing Sasuke again for the first time in three years.

"Daisuke has already set up the pole for you. All you got to do is pick the song you want." Sasuke blanked out. Did Tazuna just say pole?

When the full extent of his words sunk in, Sasuke let out a perverted giggle that would make Jiraiya proud. The rest of Hebi was reasonably freaked out after that giggle came out. Did that seriously just happen?

Naruto scowled, but complied with the request. If he did a good job, Sasuke might just follow him back to Konoha. The jinchūriki thought about it and finally decided on one song that might just work. He turned to Tazuna, giving the Uchiha a full view of his ass, and whispered the song of his choice into the old man's ear. Tazuna grinned at the request.

"Daisuke play Foxy Foxy." He shouted loud enough for everyone to hear. The regulars wolf whistled and cat called in encouragement, supporting Naruto. Sasuke was even more pleased, but just a touch scared. The image of his dobe dancing and grinding against that pole to Rob Zombie was hot as hell, but he wasn't sure he could stop himself from jumping the blonde.

The lights in the bar dimmed slightly, and the entire place was hushed. Naruto walked on to the stage with a kind of animalistic grace, something akin to that of a predator hunting its prey. The music started, the guitar and raspy voice bringing everyone watching the performance into complete silence.

He who gets slapped and who he gets saved,

He who brutalizes the timeless stage

Naruto sharply pressed his body against the pole and tilted his head back to look at his audience. The smoldering look in those cerulean eyes had everyone feeling more than a little bit uncomfortable.

He is the mongrel, he wants it all,

He lives for relics, hang on the wall.

The blond, now oozing confidence and sex appeal, spun around the pole, caressing it with a hairless leg. Sasuke thought the pole was incredibly lucky to be able to be so close to the dobe's privates.

Don't you want to ride it?

Educated horses

Don't you want to ride it?

Educated horses

Naruto slowly and sensually slid up and down the cold metal, like he was riding his lover's hard cock, a blissful expression adding to the image. He arched his back like a bow, as though his sweet spot had been struck viciously, Sasuke's mind supplying more positions he could try with his dobe later.

Foxy, foxy, what's it gonna be?

The blissful expression turned into something pleading, even slutty. Naruto's calloused fingers slowly trailed down his torso, body language screaming that he wanted more, even willing to beg. His hands started to venture into forbidden territory, brushing against the tent that had formed in those shorts. He then did the unthinkable.

As he slid back up, Naruto slipped a hand inside those tight shorts and started to slowly stroke his erection, while the other hand played with his pebbly nipples. The breathy moans coming from those pink lips mimicked those heard in the background of the song. All of the spectators were entranced by the erotic display. Sasuke's jaw dropped. He dreamed of the dobe touching himself, but seeing it live was too good to be true.

She who looks back, and she looks away,
She internalizes the motion wave.

Naruto gradually stopped playing with himself, and started to encircle the pole again. One arm grabbed the upper part of the pole while the other one grabbed the lower part of the pole. Tucking his body in against the pole, Naruto used his body momentum to spin around the entire thing.

She is the butcher,
She wants the air,
She hides the scars under her hair.

Reaching the ground again, Naruto paused. The people in the audience were quiet, anticipating the next move. Grasping the pole, Naruto flipped and spread his legs, giving everyone a good view of his toned ass. Staying in that position, he slid down the pole. Everyone was gaping now, especially Sasuke. Did the dobe WANT to be raped? Hell, he was having hard time making sure he didn't go up there and jump Naruto.

Don't you want to ride it?

Educated horses

Don't you want to ride it?

Educated horses

The blonde tucked his legs in against the pole and spun around it, lifting himself up to stand. He turned, sauntering over to the bar, wiggling his ass for emphasis. The action confused everyone. Wasn't he supposed to be pole dancing?

When Naruto got to the bar, he winked at Sasuke and snatched a half-empty bottle of vodka. The bartender didn't even bat an eyelash. Slowly, he uncapped the bottle.

Foxy, foxy, what's it gonna be?

Naruto then tilted back the bottle. Slowly, the vodka was poured onto the boy, wetting blonde locks and a black cami, highlighting the ridges of the dobe's abs and chest. Sasuke's dark eyes followed the trail a drop of alcohol had started.

Don't you want to ride it?

Educated horses

Don't you want to ride it?

Educated horses

Naruto's pink tongue poked out to lick a stray droplet off the bottle. The pink appendage encircled the tip of the bottle, sucking harshly. Getting into it, Naruto engulfed the entire neck in his mouth, sucking on it like he would with a certain piece of male anatomy. All the males in Team Hebi felt their pants tighten as they thought of the blonde doing the same to their cocks. The citizens of Wave who were there cheered on Naruto, feeling the sexual tension between their hero and the man with the duck butt hair.

Foxy, foxy, what's it gonna be?

Naruto stopped sucking on the bottle, and looked at Sasuke with a begging gaze hidden slightly by thick blonde lashes. The Uchiha blushed a bit seeing the dobe looking at him so… provocatively.

Don't you want to ride it?

Educated horses

Don't you want to ride it?

Educated horses

Naruto walked up to Sasuke and straddled him, giving him his signature foxy grin. He started to gyrate his hips, grinding down onto the other's erection. The blonde tilted his head back, exposing his tan neck to Sasuke's greedy eyes, and let out a long-drawn moan. The dark haired male tried to wipe away his nosebleed, but Naruto caught his hands and pinned them down.

Naruto smirked and leaned against Sasuke, getting closer to him. He purred into a pale ear, "Naughty little boy, aren't you Uchiha? Did you really think you could escape from me?" He ground down harder onto the brunette. Sasuke thrusted up to try and feel more from Naruto, grunting when he failed. It was too much for him, seeing his little blond grind onto him, face flushed and not being able to do anything.

Naruto was quite smug seeing the control he had over the teme. He let out another moan, biting Sasuke's neck to try and muffle it. Sasuke grit his teeth to keep quiet, suppressing the urge to moan as well.

All of the bar's occupants looked on wide eyed. Those two were having sex with clothes on. In PUBLIC! Tazuna looked at the normally naïve blonde with wide eyes. Wasn't Naruto supposed to be the innocent one?

"Oh, Sasuke! Please, I need you back in Konoha, back by my side. I need you so badly." Naruto moaned. He then said something that he knew he would regret tomorrow morning. "I want you to fuck me so hard, pound my ass into the mattress. Please… please, come back with me!"

With that, Sasuke snapped. Usuratonkachi wanted him to pound his ass in the mattress? Well who he was he to deny him? Sasuke scooped up Naruto and ran at top speed to Konoha.

Everyone in the bar thought What the fuck just happened? Suigetsu got up from his seat and told everyone, "I'll just be leaving now."

With their leader gone, Team Hebi was disbanded. The next morning, he was called in front of the council. He refused to tell them who he managed to do it, but quite frankly, they didn't give a fuck. They were just happy to have the Uchiha back so he could, hopefully, repopulate his clan and bring the Sharingan back to Konoha.

Tsunade, being a very intuitive woman, told Naruto that she hoped that he and Sasuke would have a long and healthy life together. However, the Uchiha made Naruto shed a single tear, she wouldn't hesitate to castrate him and then murder him in the most painful way possible.

The blond set down his now empty bowl. Suddenly, his eyes were covered with a pair of pale hands. "Surprise" Sasuke whispered into his lover's ear. "What were you doing?" he asked.

"Just remembering how I brought you back to Konoha." Naruto replied. He turned around to hug the Uchiha. "Missed you, Sasuke-teme."

"Missed you too, usuratonkachi."

Awww! Fluffy ending! Just a quick little oneshot I wrote as a gift for Sabaku no Sayuri. I just had to after seeing this one pic on deviantART where Naruto tells Sakura how he brought Sasuke back to Konoha! Not trying to steal the idea or anything!

I feel like shit. Break is over and I'm going back to school today. Do you know what that means? It means I won't be updating my fic Council of Nine as quickly. Wee. Sorry to any of my readers.

I apologize if you think this is really crappy and for any grammar and spelling mistakes you may find. If you did actually like this piece, review! They make me happy and less crabby! ^/-\^

~Uchiha Umeko