"Men always want to be a woman's first love--
women like to be a man's last romance."
...Oscar Wilde

The Rule of Three

Rick and Evy have a little talk...

Note: This was originally part of one of my other stories, then I got the idea for this "talk" that Rick and Evy were bound to have, and I've always thought that the concept of ellbee's "Conversation with a Door" was really awesome, and then for good measure I thought I'd throw in a little "American Pie" with the whole "rule of three" thing, and it's also a bit reminiscent of "When Harry Met Sally." Well, at least I amuse myself:) Review, please:)

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing!!!

Rating: PG-13 for general mentions of naughtiness;)

Premise: Takes place after Rick and Evy have run into a grade-school crush of hers...

"Daniel and I were actually a bit of an...item, in grade school."

"You dated that guy?"

"Shh, shh, no! We held hands on the playground, it was nothing."

"I knew I didn't like him."

"Oh, come on, Rick, we were eight years old."

"I feel the sudden need to punch him."

"Fine. Then while we're on the subject of my grammar school boyfriend, let's delve into the laundry list of your ex-paramours."

"That's not fair!"

"Why not? You're the one who brought it up."

"I did not bring that up!"

A pause.

"So...how many?"

"How many what?"

"How many women have you...been with?"

"How did we get on this topic?"

"Answer the question."

"This is not the time or the place to be having this discussion!"

"Fine. We'll have it later."

Several minutes of fuming silence.

"So?"

"So, what?"

"How many?"

"I don't want to talk about this!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's not...You won't like whatever answer I give!"

"I want to know."

"It's not like I've kept an inventory!"

"That many?!"

"What answer do you want?"

"The truthful one!"

"Well, is this including schoolyard crushes?"

"No! I meant...been with, been with."

"What's yours, then?"

"One."

"Including me, right?"

Silence.

"Oh my God."

"What? Like your track record is so spotless?"

"Who?!"

"You say that with such disbelief."

"I just can't believe you didn't tell me!"

"Well it's not something you bring up on your wedding night!"

Again, silence.

"The rule of three."

"What?"

"If a woman says she's been with one guy, it really means three."

"That's absurd. It's one."

"Fine."

"Are you going to answer the question?"

"But you're already mad at me!"

"Besides, it works the other way, too. If a man says three, it means one, or maybe even zero."

"I really don't want to answer the question now."

"Just answer it!"

"Look. If I say zero, you'll know I'm lying."

"Is it below hundred?"

"What do you think I am?"

"Fine. Below fifty?"

"Yes!"

"Twenty?"

"Yes!"

"Ten?"

Silence.

"Between ten and nineteen?!"

"I'm thinking!"

"You have to think about it?!"

"In twenty seven years you accumulate some ex-girlfriends, okay? It happens!"

"Ex-girlfriends, hmm? What about...you know..."

"What are you implying?"

"Oh, come on, Rick, you think I'm stupid? I've been around Jonathan long to enough to know what goes on--"

"Okay, okay! I admit there's been...you know..."

"I've changed my mind, I don't want to know."

"This is just a little weird, okay? Talking about your past sex life with your wife is not my ideal conversation!"

"I said I didn't want to know!!!"

More silence.

"Evy?"

"What?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"No."

"Ask me again. I have the truthful answer."

"What?"

"Ask me the question again."

"Fine. How many women have you...you know."

"Probably more than you want to know."

"Rick! I said I didn't want to know!"

"But..."

"But?"

"I've only made love with one."

"Oh, Rick."

"I love you, Evy."

"I love you, too."

It'll make me very happy if you review:)