That color was all I saw anymore. The color of pain and... and everything wrong with the world.

And that was just it, everything was wrong. Matthew could probably sense my discomfort as he adjusted my tie and fixed the lapels on my suit. I had not been able to look at him for a long time, and when he spoke it was no different.

"It will be over before you know it... It's only a few hours..." His words seemed to be trying to convince himself to be strong rather than me. I could feel his strained smile as he finished adjusting my outfit. I still couldn't look at him, I wasn't ready yet. Heavy footsteps could be heard coming up the stairs, signaling that Gilbert had come to tell them it was time to leave. Matthew patted me on the shoulder.

"We'll be downstairs, come out when you're ready..." He said as he closed the door with a soft click. I still didn't move a muscle until I heard the two sets of footsteps reach the bottom of the stairs. My heavy gaze turned to the window of the bedroom, examining the dark clouds that made the world look bleak and lifeless. And why shouldn't it be dark and ominous?

"After all, the sun is gone..." I said softly, my face emotionless, as I grabbed my heavy coat and headed out of the room into the coldest winter of my life.

~.::.~

The organ music was soft as I entered the church, the old hymns trying to soothe as they rung out over the crowd. Everything was almost silent as I entered and walked down that isle. I felt everyone's eyes on me, I could feel their pity. but I didn't want it. Not from these people, not while they were wearing that color. I just couldn't escape that damn color it seemed, looking down at my suit once I was seated near the alter... Near him. He was also dressed in that color, and it was oh so wrong. Everything in that holy place seemed to be that color.

Black. Everything was fucking black... And it was hurting my eyes.

The pastor spoke first, leading everyone in some prayers before he began to talk about God and how he was with him now. I didn't want to listen, I couldn't. I didn't want to hear anyone speak of the positives of this, because there weren't any. Many others spoke, about him, about his life, about everything. I had declined making a speech, I'm sure I would have cried if I had, and I wouldn't have stopped. Not even when I had run out of tears.

The rest of the mass went by quickly and before I knew it everyone had arrived at the cemetery. I finally took some time to look around and see who had come to pay their respects. His family was there, his mother weeping softly into his father's shirt as tears pricked at the man's eyes. He was trying to be strong for his wife, to let her know that there was some stability in the world. Matthew stood, stiff as a board as Gilbert clutched his hand, rubbing soothing circles on the back of said hand, trying in vain to calm and relax his boyfriend, his usual smug expression and obnoxious laugh completely gone, replaced by an expression of grief and soothing words for his soft-spoken lover. Francis, Matthew's cousin, was also there with his wife Jean clinging to his arm. Both of them looked shocked and silenced with grief. Francis didn't dare try to make passes at anyone, that being a harsh reminder that this was really happening. Many friends were also there, the Vargas twins and their significant others, Antonio and Ludwig, Kiku and Heracles, Toris and Feliks, even Ivan was there along with Yao. He looked shocked, a soft string of Russian words leaving his mouth as he gripped the Chinese man's smaller hand. Many others were there, mostly other friends and distant family members that I had never met. My family was absent, though I never expected them to come. Why should they? They had disowned and abandoned me long ago. So, there I stood alone, once again closest to him and the pastor as the sound of trumpets rang through the heavy air.

Time slowed as the soldgers fired their guns, and my tears couldn't be held back as they handed me that folded American flag.

And just like that, it was over, and he was gone forever. Once he had been lowered into that frozen ground people began to leave, their lives continuing like how they had before they met my only love. I stayed, unmoving in front of that clean tombstone and still clutching the folded flag to my chest as if it was the only thing keeping me alive. Oh, the irony. Matthew approached me from behind, though I didn't show any sign of acknowledgement as I continued to stare at where he lay cold, black, and very much dead. It was wrong. So very, very wrong.

"He loved you so much Arthur... And so do we. Don't forget, we will always be here for you." Matthew said softly from beside me before enveloping my stiff body in a hug then leaving to go be with his living, breathing, lover. The thought made me glance down at the silver band on my left hand. The only proof that our love had ever existed, the only proof of what could have been. He had promised me forever, I scoffed.

"Forever didn't last very long, now did it?" I croaked out, my voice small, broken, and taken by the wind. I felt the engagement band grow cold on my finger.

"You know, people said we would never last," I began, speaking to the wind, "We were just so different, me with my bland appearance and stubbornness, and you with your good looks and infuriatingly happy personality... But... But we both wanted so badly to make it work. We wanted to show them that they were wrong, and nothing could stop us," Now that I was alone, my words came out like a waterfall spilling out all over, "I-I still remember when we first met, how infatuated you were with me. You didn't leave me alone until I agreed to go out on a date with you. You had to be the most obnoxious and childish junior I had ever met... A-and I hate you for making me fall so badly in love. Why did you have to go, you bastard?" I shouted tears running steadily from my eyes. I knelt in front of the tombstone and just cried. The tombstone was also black, just like everything else. A shining black marble cross, simple and not at all fitting of someone who always had more color than the brightest day, or the most prominent rainbow. The engraving was also simple.

Sergeant Alfred F. Jones

Beloved Son, Brother, Lover, Soldier, and Friend

July 4th 1985 - September 1st 2011

I don't know how long I sat and cried, a minute, an hour, a day, it didn't matter. There was nothing and no one waiting for me. The house was empty, empty and black. My light was there, in that dirt, six feet underground. Even knowing this, somehow I stood after my tears were gone and my hiccups silenced. I wouldn't break, I would live somehow. If only to gain redemption of my sins so one day, maybe, I could join him wherever he was.

"You always wanted to be the hero Alfred. Well, guess what, you're not my hero." I whispered softly as I turned to head for that empty house. Snow began to fall.

"Not anymore."

A/N: Any spelling mistakes should be blissfully ignored, mmkay? Where did this come from? God, way to depress people at the start of the year Muffin. :I I blame the song Hero by Katie Earl. Such a good song, but really depressing when you listen to it. This is based off of that song, so go listen to it. I am too lazy to get a link, so you will have to frolic the interwebs for it. Sorry. Anyway, my Word subscription ran out, I'm going back to school in a few days, and I have mid-terms as soon as I get back, that might have added fuel to the depressing fire. Sorry. Happy New Year anyway! /rolls away before she can get bricked/

/rolls back/ Oh, I do't claim ownership of any of the characters aside from Alfred's parents. I also Don't own the song Hero by Katie Earl.

Drop me a review if you aren't too busy! /rolls away again/