First, I want to point something out: THIS FANFIC WILL CONTAIN GAY/LESBIAN KITTIES! In fact, the main pairing is a She-catXShe-cat pairing (with another two gay couples within their very clan) Why am I doing this? Becouse the Erins wont actually post gay kitties in their stories, and I have seen enough cats to know it is possible (hell, my two cats Tenor and Bass are gay for each other. And yes, I have seen them doing enough of a certain 'act' to know they are gay)

Also, this fanfic wont be soft and fluffy. As you may have guessed, this fanfic is going to contain a lot of violence and deceit. I am actually using this as practice for a novel I am writing.

DON'T EXPLAIN THE JOKE IN THE TITLE OF THE FANFIC! yOU WON'T FULLY GET IT UNTIL LATER IN THE FANFIC, TRUST ME!

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Waterfallclan

Leader: Birdstar – Old and blind gray tom with pale yellow eyes.

Deputy: Dawnheart – Large black tom with a white underside, paws, and a bright orange dash on his nose. Blue eyes. Apprentice: Frostpaw

Medicine Cat: Badgerfright – Small gray tom with a white chest and lighter gray tail tip and yellow eyes. Has three large scars taking out one eye. Apprentice: Moonpaw

Warriors:

Shadewolf – Brown tom with a lighter brown underside and green eyes.

Timberclaw – Large brown tom with a white dash on his forehead and yellow eyes.

Ivytalon – Brown tabby tom with green eyes. Apprentice: Blizzardpaw

Dovewing – Pale gray tabby she-cat with amber eyes.

Larkflower – Dark tortie she-cat with blue eyes.

Acornfur – Pretty light brown she-cat with green eyes.

Buzzardflight – Orange tom with blue eyes. Mate of Firestorm.

Waterheart – Sleek pale blue-gray she-cat with blue eyes.

Archclaw – Dark brown tabby tom with green eyes. Apprentice: Wolfpaw

Apprentices:

Moonpaw – Dark brown tabby she-cat with black paws and a white dash on her forehead. Yellow eyes.

Wolfpaw – Dark brown tabby tom with black paws and a white dash on his forehead. Yellow eyes.

Blizzardpaw – Pale gray she-cat with dark tabby stripes and flecks. Bright blue eyes.

Frostpaw – Small black she-cat with a white underside and paws. Has bright blue eyes.

Queens:

Whitefoot – Brown and black she-cat with white front paws and yellow eyes. Mother of Squirrelkit

Firestorm – ginger tabby she-cat with yellow eyes. Heavily pregnant with Buzzardflight's kits.

Leafwillow – Brown and white she-cat with green eyes. Mother of Archclaw's kits: Maplekit and Honeykit.

Kits:

Squirrelkit – Brown she-cat with a bushy tail and green eyes.

Honeykit – Pretty light brown she-cat with a white chest and green eyes.

Maplekit – Dark brown and tortie she-cat with green eyes.

Elders:

Snowsong – Brown tom with a white leg and amber eyes.

Antfoot - small black she-cat with amber eyes.

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Rockclan

Leader: Brightstar – Small white she-cat with a bright orange tail and blue eyes.

Deputy: Ravenleaf – Black tom with a yellow eyes

Medicine Cat: Shadefrost – Dark brown she-cat with a white chest and green eyes.

Warriors:

Stormflower – Gray she-cat with blue eyes

Iceflight – White tom with blue eyes.

Embertalon – Gray she-cat with amber eyes

Crookedheart – Gray tom with a twisted tail and amber eyes. Apprentice: Thistletalon

Darksky – Dark gray she-cat with blue eyes. Apprentice: Robinpaw

Ashleg – White tom with a gray leg and blue eyes.

Thrushwind – Pale yellow tom with white dashes on his flank and yellow eyes.

Apprentices:

Robinpaw – Brown tabby she-cat she-cat with an orange chest and amber eyes.

Thistlepaw – Pale brown tom with darker flecks and amber eyes.

Queens:

Brightnose – Brown she-cat with bright orange splotches and green eyes. Heavily pregnant.

Buzzardpelt – Pale orange she-cat with white paws and yellow eyes. Mother of Iceflight's kits: Firekit and Frostkit.

Kits:

Firekit – White and orange tom with yellow eyes.

Frostkit – Pure white tom with blue eyes.

Elders:

Brindlepelt – Old mottled brown tom with amber eyes.

Fuzzyfur – Small long haired gray she-cat with fur that stands on ends and yellow eyes.

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Mudclan

Leader: Mudstar – Small white she-cat with a brown muzzle, paws, and tail tip. Blue eyes.

Deputy: Stormwater – Gray tabby tom with a white chest and green eyes.

Medicine Cat: Runningfeather – Small pale gray she-cat with white flecks and yellow eyes.

Warriors:

Rockmaw – Mottled brown tom with yellow eyes.

Thorntalon – Small tabby tom with white paws and yellow eyes.

Heatherwing – Pale brown tabby tom with blue eyes. Apprentice: Smallpaw

Cloudpelt – White she-cat with amber eyes.

Nightclaw – Dark gray tabby tom with black paws and amber eyes. Apprentice: Turtlepaw

Bearbelly – Black tom with amber eyes.

Mothstorm – Gold tabby she-cat with green eyes.

Sootwater – White and gray she-cat with yellow eyes.

Apprentices:

Smallpaw – small gold tabby tom with a white tail tip. Green eyes.

Turtlepaw - Dark tortie she-cat with blue eyes.

Queens:

Willowsong – Pale gray she-cat with blue eyes. Mother of Heatherwing's kits: Sorrelkit and Brackenkit.

Fernfrost – Gray and white she-cat with yellow eyes. Heavily pregnant.

Snownose – Black she-cat with a white dash on her muzzle above her nose. Blue eyes. Mother of Stormwater's kits: Sootkit and Shadowkit

Kits:

Sorrelkit – Tortie, brown, and white she-cat with blue eyes.

Brackenkit – Brown tabby tom with blue eyes.

Sootkit – Gray tabby she-cat with white paws and blue eyes.

Shadowkit – Dark gray tabby she-cat with green eyes.

Elders:

Snakefang – mottled brown she-cat with a twisted paw and yellow eyes.

Breezefur – Small black tom with a white tail tip and green eyes.

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Plainsclan

Leader: Willowstar – Pale gray tom with blue eyes

Deputy: Hollyfang – small black tom with white paws and green eyes.

Medicine Cat: Gorsewing – Brown tabby she-cat with amber eyes.

Warriors:

Thrushsong – Gray-yellow she-cat with white paws and blue eyes

Ravenblaze – Solid black tom with amber eyes. Apprentice: Tanglepaw

Stormtiger – Gray tabby tom with amber eyes.

Icetail – Brown tom with a white tail and blue eyes. Apprentice: Bluepaw

Bird-dawn – Brown she-cat with a white chest and blue eyes.

Whitebird – White she-cat and amber eyes. Apprentice: Adderpaw

Bluefoot - Gray tom with a blue-gray front paw and blue eyes.

Apprentices:

Bluepaw – Silver tabby she-cat with blue eyes

Adderpaw – Golden brown tabby tom with amber eyes.

Tanglepaw - long furred gray tom with a white tail tip and tangled looking fur. Green eyes.

Queens:

Hailtail – Gray tabby she-cat with yellow eyes. Mother of Icetail's kits: Brownkit and Silverkit.

Kits:

Brownkit – Brown tabby she-cat with yellow eyes.

Silverkit – Silver tabby tom with blue eyes.

Elders:

Thistleflight – Small mottled gray she-cat with pale blue eyes. Blind.

Bearnose – Large brown she-cat with a black muzzle and blue eyes

Lilyfur – White tom with green eyes

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Cats outside the Clans

Crimsonscar – Large red tom with a scar across his shoulders and amber eyes. Formerly Waterfallclan Medicine Cat.

Cloudfoot – Small white tom with blue eyes. Formerly Plainsclan

Cobraclaw – Large mottled brown she-cat with yellow eyes. Formerly Plainsclan

Embertail – White she-cat with a gray tail and amber eyes. Formerly Rockclan

Goldenheart – Large golden tom with white paws and bright gold eyes. Formerly Rockclan.

Wolfclaw – Large brown tom with amber eyes. Formerly Mudclan.

Joss – Light gray tom with blue eyes. Lives in Twolegplace.

Luna – Mysterious Silver tabby she-cat with annatural blue eyes that lives at Moonstone Clearing.