After the meeting with the rest of the Night Class, the soiree invitations shot into Zero's mailbox hot and heavy. The Night Class was just about a third the size of the Day Class, but Zero had enough mail that some people must have invited him to two or three (or four, or five, or six) events. They were all from the children of families loyal or otherwise subservient to Kaname. The few others were from neutral noble families curious about goings-on in Kaname's court— "cowardly scum-suckers, and probably spies," Kaname had tipsily declared, several bourbons in, alone with Zero in his sitting room one cool dawn. But they were all nominally members of Kaname's court and under his guardianship while at Cross Academy, so they had all been entitled to be introduced to Zero, pure-blooded and to-be mated to Kaname as he now was. And every single one, it seemed, had conveniently had a society celebration of some sort waiting in the wings to invite the new, powerful, scandalous couple to.

"You know," Zero said, flipping through his newest stack of invitations, "when I killed Rido, the Association only punished me for being weirdly more powerful than expected by electing me to the council."

Sat at his desk, Kaname hummed. "Murder by paperwork," he mused aloud, "how despicable. Cunning, but despicable."

"Sure," Zero agreed amiably. He sat himself on the edge of Kaname's desk and added, "But at least there was no dancing."

Finally, as had been Zero's goal, Kaname looked up. He smiled wryly. "Dancing offends you, but not murder?"

"I've survived murder," Zero replied, cautious, but easing when Kaname's smile didn't drop, "I have no idea about dancing."

It had been a few weeks since the attempt on Zero's life. Kaname had barely let Zero out of his sight, the first few days. Too weak to fight him off and assert his independence, Zero had grudgingly allowed the mothering. Admittedly, he hadn't much wanted to push Kaname away, either. The bond had been so beaten that Kaname's constant presence had been a balm to Zero's abused psychic senses. Even now, Zero found his senses reaching for Kaname when he wasn't paying attention. Kaname's mind was so different from the terrifying darkness that the attack had pushed Zero toward. It was a calm place, lit by biers of brilliant fire. Zero could sense moonlight on his skin, but the flames kept him warm and safe. Sweet smoke filled the air, Kaname's cinnamon-cardamom scent slipping into his body with every dreamy inhale.

When Zero had followed the bond to that place the first time, it had taken a damned long time to detangled from it. Every time he'd drifted up from those soothing depths, he'd panicked and pulled himself back down. His body high and pain-free from Kaname's blood, Zero had sunk into Kaname's solid support so deeply and so easily that his consciousness had stumbled along the bond until he'd wound up tucked safely away in Kaname's. Terror that leaving his new-found safe space once would bar him from ever returning had haunted his wounded mind. Mercifully, Kaname had noticed him there and carefully, slowly, guided him back along the bond.

A hand appeared in front of Zero's face, palm-up in gentlemanly offer. Broken from his thoughts, Zero noticed the first notes of delicate music drifting through the air. He followed that hand up along Kaname's white jacketed arm to his face, where a small smile greeted him.

Zero quirked an eyebrow. "Really?" He asked.

"There's no better time to learn," Kaname replied, "and, to be honest, few better partners to learn from."

Zero snorted. "Your modesty is astounding."

Kaname smiled brighter. "But you like my honesty better."

With a little huff, Zero clasped his palm and let Kaname pull him to his feet. Nimble hands smoothly maneuvered him into position at the front of the room. Kaname had moved the chairs that usually sat in front of his desk against the far wall, freeing up enough room for a simple waltz. Against Zero's better intentions, he started counting the music. Ballroom was worlds away from what Zero had done in Vermillion, but some hunters schooled their children in the arts both lethal and not. A dancer's grace could be invaluable in a swordsman, after all, and the upper classes of hunters patrolled mostly vampire soirees. Zero had memories of being very, very small and watching in awe as his parents whirled lightly across the floor, perfectly in time with the ethereal monsters they were meant to be policing.

Zero had lost the dance lessons along with his parents, but some skills sunk deep. When the music swooped into the next movement, Zero and Kaname moved on the same note. Kaname's delight tingled along the bond.

"So, you don't dance?" Kaname murmured through his smile, pivoting smartly and bringing Zero easily into the turn.

"Not like this," Zero said, "not for a long time." He was breathless, but not from exertion. Kaname felt so good around him, his smooth, warm hand cradling Zero's. His body felt weightless, held in frame and pushed into motion by the lightest suggestion of Kaname's lead. Because, of course, Kaname led. If Zero had learned anything over the last few weeks, it was that Kaname always led.

The song ended with a sweet final note. Kaname spun him into the end, pulling him close as the music faded out. Chest to chest, they breathed the same air. One of his hands lay pressed to the small of Zero's back, a firm weight, while the other parted from Zero's fingers stroke along his cheek. Without thought, Zero's eyes flickered shut. He lost himself to the mindless moment.

"It's a little odd, isn't it?" Kaname asked, bringing Zero back again. "Dancing today to a song that is so many thousands of years old. According to my father, it's exactly the same as the version that his father plaid."

Zero smirked. "And that takes us all the way back to the Wasting Years?"

Kaname smirked. He carded his fingers through Zero's long hair, winding his fingers in the strands carefully and then watching them unspool. "There's a few more generations," he acknowledged, "but not too many."

Zero sighed, turning away from Kaname's playful touch as much as he could with Kaname fingers tangled in his hair. "If this is another awkward segue into talking about my new, even more be-fanged life, please spare me."

Kaname said nothing. Cross had exempted Zero from classes until November first, citing to the Day Class his recovery from a vague and undetailed motorcycle accident. Part of Zero galled at his skill on his bike being disparaged to the general public, but Cross couldn't exactly reveal to the world that Zero had been almost murdered by vampires. Or hunters? No one yet knew the culprit, and certainly no side was confessing to it. Kaname kept his fury over the stalled investigation admirably contained, Zero thought. Probably because he had plotting out the rest of Zero's exhaustingly longer life to distract himself with. They had been fighting, more or less, about Zero's new future since Zero was healed enough to think properly.

"I'm only speaking of what inevitably needs to happen," Kaname said. His voice was careful but pointed. They had passed the point of screaming at each other sometime around the end of the second week.

Kaname was used to being listened to, so he didn't naturally incline to yelling—but Zero had driven him there. Healed enough to crave his independence but still so injured and unused to his new body that physical activity was an unwieldy adventure, Zero had set himself a fun game of slipping the watch dogs Kaname had assigned to hound his every move. Kaname's chosen guardians, a revolving shift of his inner court, were excellent trackers, but they hadn't been the ones to re-ward Cross Academy after Rido. Zero had built in several bolt holes for himself around campus, and he'd grossly abused his advantage. The funniest moment had been dealt to poor Hanabusa, who'd successfully hunted Zero down only to find him at tea with Cross. Hanabusa had returned Zero to the Night Dorms, but only after a three-hour interrogation about his life choices from the world's most nosy, giggly vampire hunter.

Kaname had tolerated it for longer than Zero had expected, perhaps taking pity on Zero's noticeably painful boredom. But then, Zero had fallen asleep one late afternoon in White Lilly's stall. One of the most warded spots on campus, the vampires hadn't been able to find him for hours. Takuma, who was fast becoming Zero's favorite vampire, had actually teared up when Zero had stumbled into the Dorms the next morning. Kaname had been furious, so angry that he'd yelled himself hoarse once they were behind locked doors. In bed that day, he'd clung to Zero so hard in his sleep that Zero had woken with light smudges of purple on his waist from Kaname's clenching fingertips.

Zero had made sure that Kaname never found those bruises. He'd crept out of bed on silent hunter-feet, keeping his aura out and thickly spread so that Kaname wouldn't find him missing and panic, or be woken by his physical absence from Kaname's side. Zero had always been shit at apologies, but he had known that one was due here. And while words tripped him up, food never had. The kitchen staff had put up a little fight, surprised and almost scared that a Pureblood would want to cook, but eventually he'd secured the right to make breakfast for Kaname and his inner court himself.

"You cooked?" Kaname had asked, surprised and, dare Zero think it, touched. There had seemed to be an unsaid 'for us?' on the end of Kaname's question that made Zero think that, while nobles vampires were served by various staffs all the time, family or friends' meals were few and far between.

Zero had shrugged. "I'm not good at apologies. Or thanking people. But I know I've caused you all trouble lately. So."

His words had been a shitty apology, Zero thought in retrospect, but Kaname had melted like butter on oven-fresh bread.

"You're forgiven," he had murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of Zero's mouth. Relief had spread through the inner court—to Zero's embarrassed dismay, Hanabusa had actually clapped.

"Yay, no more fighting!" He'd chirped, and promptly devoured one of Zero's laboriously crafted nigiri. He'd made an obscenely pleased noise through a mouthful of rice and sweet pork. "Actually, Zero-san, you could do so much worse and I'd still forgive you for these."

Ruka had clipped him upside the head. "Gah, could you try not to be so embarrassing? At least pretend to have manners!"

"He'd have better luck pretending to be human," Akatsuki had quipped. Rima had smirked, while Senri snorted into the mug of rich hot chocolate Zero had brewed him from scratch. Takuma had sighed in put-upon despair as the table dissolved into lively bickering.

"You know, your court's a lot less terrifying than you let everyone think," Zero had said, amused. Un-aging bloodsuckers or not, apparently all teenagers liked to goof off when no one was watching.

As if reading his mind, Kaname had smiled. He lowered his tone conspiratorially, "It's a dark secret, and known only to a trusted few. But we can trust you, hm?"

Zero had paused. "You know," he'd replied carefully, and purposely not looking at Kaname, "I think you can."

"Zero?" Kaname asked with the carefully—but not successfully, not to Zero—hidden concern of someone who had tried to gain Zero's attention more than once. Unfortunately, that tone of voice was becoming a trend among Zero's circle of 'people who cared.' The circle kept growing concerningly, which was giving Zero something like socially induced hives. It was also making hiding his slipups harder. Zero had gone months with the pain attacks without anyone the wiser, but with Kaname's devoted attention and that of his court, Zero was having a hell of a time pretending he was fine post-murder attempt.

Still, no one had ever called Zero a quitter. "Yes, dear?" he snarked, blinking his lashes innocently at Kaname.

"Talk to me," Kaname said. His hands gripped Zero's shoulders, forcing Zero to meet his eyes. He was terribly earnest, staring into Zero with his dark gaze. "I just need you to talk to me."

Zero sighed. "I've never been chatty."

Kaname snorted, "Oh, I know. And I know you think I haven't been listening to you."

"Kaname," Zero said, coaxing words on the tip of his tongue. He didn't like the look of concern on Kaname's face, the pulsing worry he could feel fluttering through the bond. He wanted to soothe it, to reassure Kaname that he was fine, but Kaname continued first.

"I'm sorry that's the way I've come off," Kaname said, genuine apology in his voice. Zero briefly wondered if he'd woken up in an alternative universe, but Kaname's words distracted his thoughts. "I never meant to give you that impression. I don't mean to try and run your life for you, Zero, but I know the way this world, my world, works," Kaname insisted. "I am only ever trying to protect you, but to do that, I need you to talk to me."

"What do you need me to say?" Zero asked, suddenly tired. He was often tired, lately. Sore and achy, too. It was like his body had gone through years of growth spurts overnight and now he was suffering through the shock of it. His mind felt weighed down, too, easily distracted by his heightened senses and his own swirling thoughts. His fangs throbbed with the want for blood almost constantly, but not with the madness of a level E—more like a constant craving for a specific food. Zero pushed it aside, still not comfortable with the whole process. He nearly drowned himself in blood tablets to satisfy Kaname and the court, but in his darkest heart Zero knew that only real blood would satiate the need. Another thing he was keeping from Kaname, for the time being.

Gentle hands caressed Zero's face, gentle and sweet and keeping Zero's wandering attention focused. "I don't need you to say any particular thing," Kaname said, "I just need to know what you're thinking. I can't make you safe, or even happy, if I'm only guessing about what you need."

I need to not feel like even more of a monster in my own skin, Zero didn't say. I need this thing in my blood locked up back where it belonged. But was that entirely true, even? Because in the glimpses Zero had experienced, when he felt good, he felt really, really good. Running, jumping, shooting, seeing, tasting, smelling—all were so much better than he had ever experienced before. And in those moments, when Zero wasn't thinking, it felt right. Like he had been walking around with a blindfold on until the moment the Rose Seal broke. Zero was growing a little stronger every day, and now he could almost see a horizon where his body felt like his own. But did he even deserve that?

Zero pushed the thoughts away. He was so tired. He didn't want to think in moral quandaries right now, or maybe ever again. That's why so many vampires gave up on morality altogether, Zero thought. It was simply less exhausting to float shallowly through life when your body only functioned properly when glutted on the blood of others.

"I don't know what I need right now," Zero finally said. He looked away. "I should have died, Kaname. And, in a way, I think I did."

Kaname frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I can't go back to the Association," Zero said. It felt like a confession, even though it must have been glaringly obvious to everyone with an ounce of common sense. A fucked up level D former hunter? Sure, the Association could find a way to use that. Keep him contained, sealed, and strung out on enough slaughter-type missions to keep Zero's hunter instincts from spinning him over the edge of a cliff. And after killing Rido, well, Zero had become a house-hold name. For most hunters, it must have seemed like a redemption—House Kiryuu returned from vampiric shame by killing an insane Pureblood. Except, Zero had still been a vampire. No amount of spilled pure blood could cleanse away that. So, they had put Zero on the council and given him paperwork to do. A distraction, something to keep Zero from causing trouble. But now, with the seal broken, there was no way to deny it. Zero wasn't just an afflicted hunter. He was a vampire in his own right. The Association would never accept him again.

"I would never stop you from hunting," Kaname said, evading the point entirely.

Zero's lips quirked in thanks, grateful for Kaname's judiciousness on the subject. They were learning brilliantly a language of silences, together. "The Day Class is out of the question, too, isn't it?" Zero asked. He already knew the answer.

Kaname rolled his shoulders. He was picking his words, but there was authentic sympathy in the line of his mouth. He was figuring out how to break hard news gently. Zero appreciated the care, his heart warming slightly as he watched Kaname struggle to be kind. "It would be possible," Kaname finally said, "but difficult."

"I thought as much," Zero said. He was more stable than he'd been as a D, but more exhausted during the day than he was used to—his body fighting to adjust to a new blood status, Zero guessed. Human blood certainly smelled more potent than ever before. Even on the opposite side of campus, behind the Night Class's incredible wards (if Zero did say so himself), he sometimes felt like he couldn't breathe for the danger of losing control. Living in the Day Class dorms, surrounded by that smell, would almost assuredly drive Zero mad. That, and Zero was sure that the questions rejoining the Day Class would stir would be absolutely breathtaking. Zero was confident that he could silence the rumours eventually, but… was it worth the effort? Zero had no plan. No goal. He was so far off the plan that he couldn't even remember where he'd gone wrong.

Zero had only a few certainties to work with. The most important was that Kaname was in the Night Class. He was the only person who gave Zero any kind of peace—ironically. But for the time being, that sweet irony was all Zero had. He couldn't think about Yori or Kaito. He hadn't seen them since being rescued. He wasn't sure if they hadn't wanted to come, or if someone—Kaname? Cross? Yagari? —was keeping them away. In either case, Zero couldn't make decisions assuming that they would want to be anywhere near a Pureblood, especially Kaito.

"Well, that's two decisions made, then," Zero said, hoping he could change the topic. "Anything else you feel needs discussing right now?"

"Yes," Kaname said, squinting like that would help him read Zero's deepest thoughts. "Are you okay?"

For one insane, utterly unrestrained moment, Zero nearly laughed in Kaname's deeply concerned face. He felt it bubble up from the tips of his toes, flowing through his veins like champagne. Zero was not prone to wild laughter. He wasn't prone to laughter at all. Perhaps this was the pure blood peeking through, he thought for a blurry moment. Insanity was a trait, wasn't it? Perhaps Zero would just go mad early, get it over with and reap whatever fruits there were before the Association locked him in a nice little cage from which he could plot his bloody revenge.

Ooh, Zero thought, it was all moving quickly now, wasn't it?

Thankfully, however, Zero managed to catch himself at the last second. Instead, with great control and maturity, Zero said, "Did you know that I turned nineteen on the twenty-forth?"

Pure surprise lit Kaname's face. "October 24th?"

Zero nodded. "I think I was unconscious, or maybe killing something, but yes. But that's not the point, its just—Kaname, my life has disintegrated at least three times in less than two decades. Maybe more than that, if you count last year as a rolling cascade of upsets rather than one fast detonation."

"Gods, Zero," Kaname choked, paler even than his usual porcelain complexion, "I am so sorry."

Zero waved his hand. It wasn't okay, and if Kaname ever did anything even slightly similar again Zero would kill him, but Zero couldn't be bothered to fight about it. His life was in ashes. The thing he had been trying to avoid since his conception, and trying doubly hard to avoid since his parents' deaths, had happened. Zero was living now in the wind. And in his castle in the wind, fighting with Kaname was the least of his small list of concerns. "What I mean," Zero said instead of fighting, "is that no one has even died this time. Sure, I've lost every scrap of right to be a vampire hunter that I ever possessed, and yes, that made up probably ninety percent of my personal identity—"

"Zero," Kaname said again, stricken.

Zero rolled right over him. "But, by the Gods, Kaname, no one died. So, all past precedent considered, I'm doing just fucking fine."

There was silence. A long, tense silence. Zero actively didn't play with his hair and directed his face toward the window. He felt Kaname's stare on him like two sniper points lighting up the side of his head. Finally, the silence became too much and Zero stood, brushing the imaginary lint off the crisp dress shirt he'd borrowed from Kaname. He needed clothes, Zero thought idly. Probably no one had missed that Zero was living out of Kaname's closet, and, knowing vampires, probably they thought that it was some kind of cutesy possessiveness thing. The truth was that Zero had no clothes that weren't Day Class uniforms, hunting equipment, or worn-soft t-shirts; not exactly the look the Night Class went for. And Zero would be damned before some bullshit courtier sneered at Kaname because of him.

Apparently, Zero had begun to care at some point. Disgusting.

"Where are you going?" Kaname asked, painted in confusion. He was sitting in one of the pushed-back chairs, eyes fixed on Zero like he had the secret to life printed on his forehead.

Zero checked the grandfather clock sitting arrogantly in the corner of Kaname's office. He gestured to the clock. "That's accurate, isn't?"

Kaname blinked. "Of course."

"Then I have an appointment with a costumier, whatever the hell that is, in ten minutes," Zero said.

"A what?" Kaname asked, blinking again.

Zero shrugged. "Again, hell if I know. I asked Takuma what I was supposed to wear to this stupid ball of yours. He replied by grinning joyously and making me this appointment. Ruka and Rima are helping, too."

"You're being fitted for a costume. Willingly," Kaname clarified. He was so confused, Zero thought, amused. His beautiful face at least helped him look handsomely uncomprehending.

"It's a costume party, isn't?" Zero asked, knowing full-well that it was.

"Yes," Kaname said, factual.

Zero rolled his eyes, hard, and walked over to his mate. Zero was trying to get used to that word before he was inevitably bombarded by it at the ball. On a complete whim he stopped and dropped to one knee so he could press a kiss to Kaname's porcelain-pale cheek, pleased when he felt Kaname's reflexive smile against his lips. "Then, of course, I need a costume," Zero murmured. "I'm not dumb enough to stick out among the enemy, you know."

"Of course not," Kaname said, his eyes filled with an affection that made Zero's heart stutter. "I'm just amazed by your brilliance, is all," he continued, hand guiding Zero's chin and locking him into a proper kiss. Zero sighed into it, senses swimming leisurely in Kaname's warm touch and spicy taste.

"Flirt," Zero accused as they parted, reveling in the smile he felt curling his lips. It was such a strange expression, still, but against Zero's best predictions he thought that he was slowly beginning to live a life where it might become familiar.

"Never," Kaname denied, eyes sparkling, and brushed Zero's hair back from his face. He closed his eyes a minute, like he was trying to seal away what he'd seen in his mind, then looked seriously at Zero. "Thank you," he said in the softest voice Zero had ever heard him use.

"For what?" Zero asked, frowning. If anything, Zero thought ruefully, at this point he should probably be thanking Kaname.

Zero's mate relaxed further into his chair. He gestured lazily to the room. "For making this all so much easier than I thought it would be," he said, and leaned forward to kiss Zero's lips in a chaste intimacy.

"Okay," Zero said, bemused. He rose carefully to his feet, his wounds pulling only slightly, then paused at the door. "I'll see you later, won't I?"

"I would never miss dawn with you," Kaname answered, expression so warm that, as Zero walked down the hall to his appointment, it was nearly able to chase away the chill Kaname's other words had sent down Zero's spine.

Hello, lovelies. What do you say we try and finish this thing? Also, just so we're clear, I am ClinicalChaos on AO3 and this story hasn't been stolen-I'm just cross-posting because AO3 is more author-friendly, I find. I will, however, keep posting here for the time being as well.

Sincerely,

BlackRoseGirl666