Christmas Day

December 25, 2015

Derek looked over at the clock that blinked 4:00 am. For the past six hours Derek had been engaged in the serious act of congress with Penelope. And he would admit that it was phenomenal. And as phenomenal as it was, it was still wrong. She was a married woman for Christ-sakes and he had just helped her break her wedding vows. He slipped from the bed and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

As he dressed, he thought about the last time he and Penelope had been in this situation. He had made love to her, it was unbridled passion that made him want to go AWOL. Yet, he knew he made a promise to protect his country and as long as she and his family lived there, he would protect it until he couldn't do it anymore.

He was leaving Penelope in the wee hours of the morning again, but this time around he felt a thousand times worse. He didn't want the awkwardness. He didn't want to face the end result of her kicking him out of his bed. He didn't want to be reminded of what he didn't have, again.

He slipped down the stairs quietly, in search of his shoes, which he found under the table by the door. He put them on. He surveyed the room one more time and smiled at how Penelope had truthfully made this her home. He turned to walk out the door, when a small picture caught his eye. He picked it up and stared at the three beautiful face that were staring back at him.

It was another blow, she had children. Derek sighed and placed the picture back down. He didn't belong here. He didn't have a place or space in Penelope's life. He never did.

Christmas Day, 2010

Derek had been used to playing the dick and pussy game for years, but there was something about Penelope Garcia that made the game seem obsolete. Maybe it was the way that she was eager to participate, or the way she encouraged him to just be with him. Maybe it was the way she felt to him. Or maybe, just maybe, it was because he loved her, more than she could ever know, more than she could ever express.

It was this love, that had him sitting in the chair beside his bed, dressed in MARPAT Uniform. He had been watching her sleep for over an hour and he knew that he would be leaving his home, his job and the love of his life, behind forever. The envelope that he had in his hands he had intended to drop in the mail on his way to base. He just placed it beside her head, placed one more gentle kiss to her lips before picking up his bag and walking out the door.

Derek tried to clear his mind of all thoughts of Penelope as he walked out to the convoy that was parked outside his home. It wasn't working, his only thought was: Why did I have to get her, only to let her go.

Penelope rolled over to cold sheets. She opened her eyes to find herself looking at a soft blue colored envelope. She sat up slowly and reached for her glasses. When she finally righted herself, she opened the envelope and read the letter in Derek's writing. She dropped the envelope and closed her eyes hoping that this was a bad dream. It was not.

He had left her alone, in his bed. With only an I'm sorry, Clooney and his house. He had given her everything that mattered to him in Virginia. Everything, but himself.

She sat there and felt the tears rack her body. She had given him herself last night. She had allowed herself to succumb to the wild and flirtatious Derek Morgan and all she had left, was a broken heart that she had to mend.

Christmas Day, 2015

Not again. Penelope groaned as she rolled over to the feel of cold sheets. A sigh escaped her lips as she sat up in bed and reached for eyeglasses. She searched the bed for another note and didn't find one. Any other time she would've thought it was a dream, but the soreness between her legs and the marks he had left on her body from all of his kissing, was the evidence she needed to know that this was most definitely not a dream.

She climbed out of bed and made her way to the shower. She had breakfast to make, a dinner to finish preparing and party to throw tonight. She had no time to think about her stupidity and Derek Morgan. Yet, there was one thing that she couldn't get over and that was the fact that she still loved him.

Penelope had just started making breakfast when she heard the front door open. Penelope left the confines of her kitchen to see Spencer Reid entering the living room with Fran, Sarah and Desiree Morgan. With them was Sarah's husband Paul Steele and their twin boys Clayton and Daniel.

"Merry Christmas!" Penelope said as he reached to take bags from everyone.

"Merry Christmas!" Was the unison reply she received.

"Where's your unruly band?" Sarah asked as she gave Penelope a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"They're still sleeping. They tired themselves out trying to wait for Santa."

"Speaking of Santa, where are the gifts?" Desiree asked.

Penelope turned her glance to the fully decorated tree, with no gifts underneath it. She gave a soft smile and shook her head.

"Santa's running a bit late, this year."

Fran just shook her head, "Well, maybe Santa should get a move on. While I finish breakfast."

Penelope didn't say a word, she just left the kitchen to hurry and get the gifts under the tree.

By the time Penelope's unruly brood had awaken, on Christmas morning, breakfast was served. The three children entered the kitchen to see their grandmother, aunts, uncle, cousins and godfather sitting around the room. They shot around the room giving hugs and kisses before settling down.

Breakfast was purely awesome, Penelope's spirits were lifted as her children tried to scarf down their food to attack the Christmas tree. She laughed at their Christmas antics and was more than happy to allow them to open their gifts only after they had washed up after breakfast. They were mid-way through opening gifts when Simone, stopped opening her gifts.

"Simone what's wrong, baby?" Penelope asked her daughter.

" I asked Santa for Daddy. And he's not here!"

Penelope took a deep breath as she waded through the wrapping paper sea to her little girl. Simone, was her youngest child and the one who was the most sensitive. It also didn't help that she was her only girl. When it came to her boys, they seemingly were ready to take on the world even at four, but Simone kept her grounded. She picked up her little girl and held her close.

"You know I'm sure if your Daddy could be here, he would. He would never want to be away from you Simone. You know that don't you."

Simone just nodded her head as she rested her head on her mother's shoulder.

"He loves you very, very much, Simone. He loves you so much in fact that he works to protect you and your brother's from the bad guys. He wants you to be safe and that's why he's always on the go."

She knew in her heart that her daughter didn't truthfully understand. All Simone knew was that she asked Santa for her Daddy and he was no where to be found.

While Penelope talked with her daughter the knocking of the door, lead the oldest of Penelope's sons to the door. He opened the door to come face to face to Derek Morgan.

He stared up in awe in Derek dressed his dress blues. He had never seen a Marine in person and for him this was an awesome sight to see. Derek looked down at the child and offered up a soft smile.

"Merry Christmas," Derek said softly.

"Merry Christmas," the little boy replied.

"My name is Derek. Is your mother in?"

The little boy stared at Derek for a moment before taking his hand and leading him into the living room. And noise ceased to exist as they both stepped into the room.

"Mama, you have company."

"Derek Jasper Morgan Jr. what have I told you about-" Penelope began her rant as she turned to face her son.

Her voice faultered as she met Derek's gaze. He removed his hat and looked around the room.

"I do believe he's the third, Penelope. I'm junior."

Penelope didn't have time to formulate a comeback or a witty response, because everyone including Spencer Reid, jumped up to greet Derek. Penelope let everyone have their moment as she slipped into the kitchen to reign her emotions in. He was back, but the question was for how long?

It had finally quieted down when Simone finally pushed her way through the crowd and tugged on Derek's pants leg. He looked down at Simone, her brown hair pulled into two thick braided pig tails. Her eyes were the same warm brown as Penelope's but the golden color of her skin that was reminiscent of Georgia Peach, let him know that she was his.

"Hello, Little Lady," Derek said softly as he squatted in front of her.

Simone stared at him for a moment, "Hi. Are you my Daddy?"

Derek smiled at her, she held no punches. He glanced around the room to find Penelope who was leaning against the door jamb. She had heard Simone's question loud and clear and nodded. "Yes, I am."

"Good. I missed you, Daddy."

Derek brought the little girl in for a hug, " I missed you too, sweetheart. More than you could ever know."

The rest of the day was spent with Penelope avoiding Derek. She had nothing to say to him. She had a dinner to prepare and she didn't have time to deal with the myriad of emotions that she was going through. That however didn't deter Derek from seeking her out. He had entered the kitchen, closing the door behind him, just as Penelope had pulled the turkey out the oven.

"I think we should talk," Derek said to her as Penelope had placed the large bird on the cooling rack.

"I think you should leave me alone and spend time with the kids."

"Why didn't you tell me I was a father?"

"Why did you leave me?"

Derek sighed as he leaned against the counter, "Penelope, you know that isn't fair.

"Fair? Derek, I'm not the one that left, you did. Like a thief in the night. You changed my life and you left in the same instance. So don't come in here telling me about fair."

She rounded the counter to walk out the kitchen, when Derek grabbed her arm turning her towards him, "I left because I love you."

Penelope stared at him for a long time before she smirked, "If you love me so much, why don't you do us both a favor and walk the hell back out my life."

"I can't do that Penelope."

She snatched away from Derek, "Don't use my kids as an excuse to stay, Derek. They've been doing just fine without you."

"Penelope, please don't do this."

"You don't get to walk in here and start making demands, Derek. You have no right. None."

"I'm sorry, Penelope."

"So am I, Derek. So am I."

Later that night, while everyone was busy conversing Derek had quietly stood and retrieved his coat. He stood in the foyer buttoning his uniform coat when Penelope turned the corner.

"Where are you going?"

"Didn't you ask me to leave?"

"I asked you to leave hours ago. Why are you in such a rush now?"

"Because the kids are upstairs in bed."

Penelope sighed as she folded her arms. "We need to talk."

"I recall that I tried to do that and you shut me down."

Penelope rolled her eyes heavenwards, "Derek, I was hurting this morning."

"I requested a transfer, because I couldn't stand to watch you and Kevin. I've always been in love with you Penelope, but I couldn't be the man you needed and so righteously deserved and for that, I am truthfully, sorry. When you came to me that Christmas, all I wanted was for one moment in time to be yours. And I got it and my biggest regret was leaving you."

Penelope sighed, " I felt that you used me Derek. Kevin and I had broken up two weeks before hand and I felt it was time for me to move on to the man that I had wanted. I wanted you Derek. I've always wanted you. When I found out about my pregnancy, I thought it was Kevin's. I told him and we got married. We agreed that it was for the best. It wasn't until I held your son in my arms and I looked into his eyes that I knew that I had carried you inside of me. I didn't know where you were, so I did the best next thing and called your mom. I sent her pictures of Derek, Elijah and Simone and she was instantly in love."

"There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of you, Pen. I thought of your smile and your laugh. When I left Afghanistan and was sent to Japan, all I could do was think of your scent, your sweetness as I watched the Cherry Blossoms bloom and all I wanted when I got back here was to be yours. I wanted to marry you, Penelope; give the children so rightfully deserved. But you moved on and you started a family and I couldn't take that from you, P. As much as I loved you, as much as I wanted you I couldn't do that."

"And now?"

"I'mma always want you P. I'm going to always want to come home to you, but I think that we need to find each other and grow."

Penelope bit her lower lip to stop the tears from falling, "And how do you propose we do that."

"I have no idea."

Penelope took a deep breath and stepped forward, "Kiss me."

Derek furrows his brow, "What?"

"Just stop thinking and kiss me, Derek."

He stepped towards her, wrapping one arm around her waist as his fingers dug into her hair. He lowered his head to hers, giving her quick little kisses, before lowering his head and deepening the kiss, they stood like that in the foyer, kissing for what seemed to be an eternity. And it was for Penelope to know that Derek Morgan was right where he needed to be and that was home with her. And for Derek, it was the reminder that she was his salvation and that he had been right all along, that his home was wherever she resided.