I was reading a HikaKao fanfic and was also listening to a sad song and I was compelled to write this. It's very long and very sad. Kaoru is in love with his twin Hikaru, but he thinks that Hikaru's going out with Haruhi when really, Hikaru is svoiding Kaoru because he's in love with Kaou. The two know that's it's wrong to love one another because one, they're guys, two, they're brothers, and three, they're twins. Even so, they fall in love with each other, though they don't know that. I hope that this is to you liking even though this is a sad story.

Broken Gates

Kaoru sat in the dusty attic of his mansion looking out the dirt-clogged window. The attic was practically empty; the Hitachiin family had very few things to store because everything they bought was always used. Hikaru was gone, off spending the day with Haruhi. Again. These days, Hikaru spent a lot of time with Haruhi and less time with him. Sometimes Hikaru would stay over at the Boss' house or another Host Club member's house and leave him alone at their own house. Hikaru always offered to have Kaoru come with him, but he'd always shake him off. He wanted Hikaru to come to him, not the other way around. Every night without was torture. Kaoru had nightmares that made him wake up screaming, sweating and crying. His nightmares had become so frequent that the maids and butlers no longer bothered him in the middle of the night.

Every night, Kaoru got less and less sleep. Dark rings had started to form under his eyes and he had to use make-up to cover it up. He didn't want to worry any of the club members. Hikaru hadn't been home for at least two weeks now and Kaoru was getting less than an hour's sleep every night. Kaoru coughed because of the thick dust in the air, but he didn't open the window he was sitting at. Downstairs, he could hear one of the maids calling his name.

"Master Kaoru. Your dinner is ready. Master Kaoru?" The maid continued to search for him. No one would ever find him up here, except for Hikaru. They were the only ones who knew that this attic even existed. All the items up here had been put up here years ago. "Master Kaoru?" Kaoru never answered her. He wasn't hungry. That was another thing that had changed about him, he hadn't much of an appetite lately either and had lost at least ten pounds already.

Kaoru continued to watch the road, waiting for that limo to arrive aside from going to school and going to bed, he never left this room. It was quite spacious and could have fit several rooms up here. He jumped up as he saw a limo pull up the drive. His heart started beating at a fast pace. Was it who he hoped it was?

The long, sleek black vehicle pulled into the loop and stopped in front of the steps to the front door. Kaoru clenched his fists and held his breath, waiting for the person to come out of the car. If only the chauffeur would walk faster . . . The black clad chauffeur opened the door and he saw a redhead. He fisted his hands tighter in anticipation. A pretty face of a woman showed up under that head of red hair and Kaoru collapsed with disappointment. It was only his mother. He let out a big sigh and put his hand to his forehead, pushing his hair back. He felt something wet and sticky touch his forehead and Kaoru looked at his hand, only to fist it up again. He was bleeding.

He'd dug his nails into his palms when he was watching the limo. This had happened several times already. He'd see a black limo and been disappointed, each time resulting in bleeding hands. Would Hikaru ever come back home? After a full hour of staring at his drying hands, he sighed again and went downstairs. Quietly, and without being seen by a maid, he slipped into his room and then into his bathroom. By now, he'd been used to hurting himself and had a stash of gauze and antiseptics in the bottom drawer on the left side of the counter. He had the left side while Hikaru had the right.

Kaoru routinely bandaged up his hands and then flopped down onto his bed. It was Saturday, so there was no school and no club activities to occupy him. Just then, his pocket vibrated and he jumped. No matter how many times that happened, it always scared him. He looked at the caller and found it to be the boss. Frowning, he debated on whether or not to answer it. Kaoru didn't want to talk to anyone but Hikaru right now, so he just let it ring, and when it kept ringing, he turned it on silent. Finally, Tamaki seemed to give up and left a voice mail. Kaoru rolled on his side and stared at the wall. Tomorrow was Sunday and all the staff would be off, so he would be alone.

Alone.

The word seemed so intimidating. Where was Hikaru? Why wasn't he here, with him, like he always was? Kaoru curled up into a ball and felt small. Incredibly small. He began to breathe harder. Why did the room seem to be getting so big, yet so close to him? He clutched at his chest as he started to breathe big, quick breaths through his mouth. His mouth was getting dry, but he barely noticed because he was too preoccupied with the walls that wouldn't stop getting so high and getting so close to him. Kaoru was hyperventilating now and was getting very dizzy. He couldn't make sense of anything. Soon, he was passed out cold with the lights off and no one to know that he had gone into a panicking stated.

Haruhi came out and took Hikaru's outstretched hand, smiling that smile that she always wore when she was happy. Kaoru had learned to hate that smile. Now that he'd seen it so many times, he'd thought that it was more of a wicked grin, a sneer.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru called out desperately, running after him and that succubus as they turned away from him and started walking. But he seemed to be running in place while they got farther and farther away. Somehow, Kaoru tripped and fell farther down into the abyss. He clutched at his chest and screamed for Hikaru to help him. Hikaru had seemed so happy when he was walking away while talking to Haruhi.

Kaoru's eyes snapped open like bullets and he shot up. He was already screaming and crying. His chest heaved up and down, exhausted of air. Quietly, he sat there on the bed, breathing in and out. The tears were still flowing freely down his cheeks and he was in a cold sweat. Noticing the lights outside the window, he found that the sun had already set and the moon was high in the sky. He'd finally gotten more than an hour's worth of sleep, but even so, he seemed more tired.

There was just no escaping it. Hikaru didn't love him the way that Kaoru did. It was an entirely different kind of love. Kaoru was infatuated with his brother; he was obsessed with him to the point that he wanted to lock him in the house so that no one could take him away from him like that succubus Haruhi had. But he would never do that because his brother had a life as well. Love was supposed to be the best thing about a person's life, but it could also be the cruelest thing. Not everyone ever got what they wanted.

Kaoru traced over the pale lines on his wrists that shone in the moonlight with his fingers. The oldest one was two months. He'd done this every night that Kaoru had been absent from the mansion. It made him feel something other than sorrow, than longing, than the lust for his beloved brother. He never wanted to force Hikaru to do anything, and now, he was afraid that if he saw Hikaru again, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from caging Hikaru up and locking him away like a bird.

Grabbing his cell from the side table next to the bed, he pressed one and it speed-dialed the person he loved so much. He picked up on the first ring.

"Kaoru! We've been trying to get a hold of you for I don't know how many hours now." Hikaru's voice burst. The voice was so compelling. "Tamaki's having a sleep over and everyone's here. Are you going to come over?" Silence. "Kaoru?"

"Hikaru . . . " Kaoru said. He was crying, but his voice didn't show it.

"Kaoru, what's wrong?" Hikaru had worry clearly laced into his voice and the noise in the background seemed to immediately shut up.

Kaoru smiled sadly, unknowingly to the older twin. "These are the last words I'm ever going to say, so listen very carefully." Kaoru began.

"Kaoru? What's going on? You're acting strange." He was very worried now.

"I love you, Hikaru."

There was a short silence, then, "I love you too, Kaoru, but please tell me what's going on."

"No." He said bluntly.

"What do you mean –."

"No, not the way I mean. I love you. I want to tie you up and keep you away from everyone else. I want to keep you caged where I'm the only one that can see you, touch you. I love you. But I don't want to force you to do that, and if I see you again, I won't be able to stop myself from doing all those things to you." As Kaoru spoke, he opened a drawer in the side table and withdrew a very bulky pocket knife. He flipped it open and examined the sharp blade. "Tell the others I said good-bye for me, and Hikaru, I love you."

"Kaoru?" There was panic in his voice now. "Kaoru! Kaoru, what are you saying? What are you going to do? Kaoru-!" Kaoru closed his phone and set it down gently on the side table. There was no one in the house. The servants had all gone home and his mother was most likely back at her shop, creating new designs.

Kaoru looked down at the knife again before dragging it lengthwise down his arms. Both arms were opened several times, and then, just to make sure, he drug the blade across his throat.

'Hikaru,' he thought. 'I'm sorry, but I love you too much.' He collapsed on the bed, his life draining out of him.

"Kaoru! Kaoru! KAORU!" Hikaru cried into the dead phone. The entirety of the Host club members listened to Hikaru's hysterical voice as it rose just outside the door. They were worried.

Just then, Hikaru burst into the room with wide and tear ridden eyes. He looked like he was about to go insane. "We have to get to my house. NOW!" He screamed. Before they could answer, or ask anything, Hikaru was gone from the doorway, running toward the door. The others were quickly following him. Tamaki, Kyoya, and Mori had long legs, so they caught up to the shorter read head and Honey-sempai just bounded because of his super strong karate. Haruhi was carried by Mori because she was the slowest. Kyoya called up a limo while they were running down the hall and it was waiting for them when they got outside.

"Tamaki Suoh, you know better than to run in the halls! The same goes for your friends!" Cried the head servant.

"Sorry, but this is an emergency." Tamaki called over his shoulder. Hikaru dove into the open limo and the others' quickly piled in. "Go to the Hitachiin residence, and step on it." The 'King' ordered. Hikaru was dialing his brother. The cell rang, and rang, and rang some more, but was never picked up.

Finally, he chucked the phone through the window, breaking it. He was starting to hyperventilate he was panicking so badly. No one in the host club had ever seen either of the twins act this way.

"Calm down Hikaru or else you'll pass out before we get there." Kyoya said, trying to clam him. Hikaru calmed down enough to stop hyperventilating. "What exactly did he say Hikaru?"

Hikaru turned to them with a ghostly face. "He confessed to me. He said that he wanted to keep me in a cage where he was the only one who could see me and touch me. He told me he loved me more than once and then he told me to say good-bye to your guys." He was crying.

"That doesn't seem like it's an emergency though." Tamaki pointed out. Hikaru looked him straight in the eyes.

"He said that those were his last words." Hikaru's voice was choked and nearly unhearable, but they were able to hear what he said.

"Hurry up!" Tamaki urged the driver. The sleek black limo went faster. Hikaru couldn't sit still in his seat. He kept fidgeting and was constantly glancing out the window to see if they'd arrived, and when they had, Hikaru was out of the vehicle before it stopped moving.

The red-haired Hitachiin twin sprinted for the front doors and flung them wide open. It was deafly quiet and Hikaru didn't like quiet, neither did Kaoru for that matter. Hikaru sprinted up the stairs, taking three at a time and then dashing down the hall towards his and his brother's room. Tamaki, Kyoya, Mori, Haruhi, and Honey came through the door, out of breath. Then they heard a half-strangled howl from up the stairs.

"That was Hika-chan!" Honey-sempai said and they all ran up the stairs and down the hall to the twins' room. When they came to the room, the only light was the full moon. It illuminated the two brothers on the king-sized bed. Had the situation not been so tragic, it would have made a beautiful painting. Hikaru's tear stained face was turned up towards the heavens and his brother was in his arms. Head lolled back; eyes open with a slight smile on his pale lips. For a moment, they thought that Kaoru was just lying there looking at the ceiling, but then they saw the blood that stained his neck

"Oh no." Kyoya said, shocked. Haruhi was crying her eyes out. Tamaki wrapped his arms around her, in his own shock. Honey was sobbing into Mori's shoulder, and Mori, who had sat on the floor looked just as shocked as anybody else.

Hikaru hugged his bloody, cold, and very much dead twin to him. "Why?" He asked him through tears. Kaoru wouldn't answer. He would never answer. "You bastard." He squeezed the body tighter to himself. "You left me behind." Then Hikaru kissed his brother's cold lips. "I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you." Hikaru had always loved his brother, not just as a brother, but more than that. He'd wanted Kaoru to be his, all his. He would have gladly been caged by Kaoru if that meant that he could become his. Hikaru loved his brother more than anything else in the world. "Why didn't you take me with you?" Hikaru sobbed. Kaoru's blood was smeared all over himself, but he didn't care, he wanted his love back.

Hikaru reached to grab his twin's hand and contacted something that was in it. He picked it up and looked at it through tear stained eyes. It was a very large pocket knife, and it was covered with Kaoru's blood. This was the weapon that had taken Kaoru's life. "And so too shall it take mine." Hikaru muttered as he raised the knife, posing it so that he could stab either his throat or his heart.

"Hikaru DON'T!" Kyoya shouted as Hikaru plunged the knife downwards. Mori lunged for Hikaru, pushing Honey aside in his haste. The blade sunk in, but Hikaru was shaking and couldn't push it in any farther than it already was. Mori grabbed the blade and took it out before Hikaru could do any more damage to himself. Half the blade came out and it was thrown across the room where it couldn't do any more harm. Hikaru ignored the blood running freely down his chest and ignored the pain it brought.

"Kaoru." He sobbed. "I can't do it. I couldn't do it." Hikaru clutched his brother's body to him. "He's so skinny." He murmured. "And light." Though, it didn't matter now. Kaoru wouldn't be coming back so that he could fix this. "You bastard. You left me alone." Kaoru didn't answer. Everything was over. He'd avoided Kaoru because he didn't want to force himself onto him. He'd used the excuse of staying with Haruhi in order to stay away from him. Now he wished he hadn't. Hikaru would never be able to talk to Kaoru again. He no longer had a twin, a brother, a love. He had no one left.

He was alone in the world, left behind, abandoned. No one was more important to him than Kaoru. His heart was frozen, rusted, broken, shattered, missing, gone. Hikaru sat there, hugging his brother. He didn't even notice when Kyoya's family doctor's came in, but when they tried to take him away from his brother, he went mad.

He punched and kicked at them, all while holding onto his brother's body. He wouldn't let go of him that soon. One doctor broke three ribs when Hikaru kicked him.

"Leave us alone!" Hikaru shouted at them.

"Hikaru, calm down." Tamaki said, trying to get Hikaru to become calm. He never thought that Hikaru would break his collarbone. Tamaki went down with a cry of pain and Kyoya went to his side.

"Hikaru!" Kyoya didn't want to lose another friend to insanity. "Stop this!"

Hikaru was gone. He was no longer himself. He sat on the bed, clutching Kaoru's body to him, and hurting anyone who was too close. They ended up sedating him.

When they were at the hospital, Hikaru lie in the bed, unmoving. He didn't care anymore. They'd taken him away from Kaoru. Why wouldn't they just let him bleed to death? It would let him be with Kaoru. He stared at nothing, just anything that was in front of him. Never did he take notice of the tears running across his face. Everything he loved was gone, in less than five minutes, it was all gone.

"Hika-chan." Honey sobbed as they came into the room. Hikaru seemed lifeless, staring at nothing. Then his eyes flicked to Honey. He was sitting in a chair next to Mori who was sitting on the floor with a shocked face. He'd never seen Mori this way. Never seen. That's right, he'd never seen his brother. He hadn't seen him for two weeks. That's right, he was avoiding Kaoru. Yeah. Kaoru was at home. He wasn't dead. "He's at home." He said.

They all looked at him. Tamaki wasn't in the room and Kyoya's right arm was in a cast. Hikaru had broken it when trying to help the doctors sedate him. "Karou's at home, waiting for me to return. He's not dead. He's not dead. No, he's not dead." He kept saying. Haruhi left the room. She couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't bare to see Hikaru torture himself so cruelly. Kyoya left too, getting the doctor.

"Hikaru!" Yuzuha came into the room. "Hikaru." She started to cry at the sight of him, though it looked like she'd been crying earlier.

"It's all right mother. Kaoru's at home. He's waiting for me to come home. I'll go home later." He said, petting his mother's head.

She looked up at him, worried. Then she saw what he was doing. "Yes. Yes, he's at home. It's okay. You'll be better soon." She said.

"Don't encourage him!" Kyoya yelled from the doorway.

Yuzuha turned to him and glared through her tears then she grabbed him and the doctor he'd brought and shut the door behind her, leaving the room. She dragged them down the hall a bit before turning to them

"He can believe whatever he wants just as long as he's not hurting himself. I don't care if it's a mental condition." She added the last sentence when the doctor had opened his mouth to talk. "He's my son, and I don't want him hurting himself. I'll do whatever it takes to keep it that way. Stay away from my son." She left them there, staring after her in disbelief as she reentered the room. Everyone had gone insane. Nothing was going to be the same ever again. Hikaru would be obsessed with waiting for Kaoru to come home and his mother was opening letting him do so. The world seemed to be ending in insanity. Nothing made sense anymore. The word 'Normal' was a nonexistent word. It would never be normal again.

I feel that it was kind of dragged on after they found Kaoru's body, but I wanted to tell what happened to Hikaru afterwards. It's very sad as I told you before, but thanks for reading it.

Review please~