The corridors were abuzz with chatter, or so Lily had been told by one of her dorm mates. She was a timid girl that typically tried to stay clear of any forms of excitement, whether good or bad. Maybe timid wasn't the correct word to describe the petit brunette that Lily had shared a dorm with for years, but of whom she still knew very little about. Skittish was probably a better word. Any time Lily had ever tried to talk to the girl, she had gotten the impression that all she wanted to do was flee in the opposite direction. It had taken the girls over a week upon their arrival to Hogwarts as first years to even learn that her name was Jeanie. That's why it shocked Lily when she was confronted by the usually quiet girl, as she made her way out of the bathroom.

Lily had her towel clasped between her hands and she was vigorously scrunching her thick mane of hair between its layers, in an attempt to draw out as much moisture as possible. Her feet were bare, having just climbed out of the tub she though she could make a quick dash for her trunk to get dressed. Instead she was caught off guard by somebody blocking her path.

What Jeanie lacked in height, she made up for in volume of hair. Her entire head was covered in violent curls that cascaded halfway down her back. It was because of the hair alone that she appeared to fill up the entire doorway from the bathroom to the dormitory.

"Morning," Lily murmured quickly, once she got over the shock of being snuck up on.

She absentmindedly went to step around the other girl, but was again caught off guard when she actually got a reply to her greeting, something that had never occurred ever before.

"Have you been down to breakfast yet?" Jeanie questioned.

Lily didn't think she had ever heard a full sentence leave those lips, and so it was with good reason that it took her a minute to fathom what was actually happening. All those weeks that they had spent as first years trying to get to know the girls they would be spending the next seven years with and they had come up empty handed. All Jeanie had had to say was simple one word answers, that really did not answer any of their questions. Then to finally hear not just a full sentence, but a structured question, it was almost too much to handle for Lily who had let her towel fall limp in her hands.

"I…ah…I mean, no I haven't. Why?" she was confused. Had something bad happened? But why was this girl coming to spread the news to her, why not somebody else? It was a silly question though for Lily to even think, because who else would there be? The only two people she was really on speaking terms with were Remus and Sirius ironically enough, and neither of them would be permitted up the girl's staircase. Charity would never come near her again, even if something terrible had happened, she would only revel in the glory of making Lily suffer. Then there was Rosalyn, and after the way she had glared at Lily at supper the night before, Lily didn't think they'd be best mates again any time soon, if ever.

"They're talking," Jeanie all but whispered in an erie sounding voice. Now this was more of the Jeanie that they all were accustomed to.

The lightbulb failed to click on in Lily's head, as she was just as confused as ever, "Who?"

"Everyone."

Now Lily was getting frustrated. Did this girl really have anything valuable to tell her, or was she just crazy? As soon as she thought this, Lily felt instantly remorseful. After all, it had not been too long before that she herself had been trapped in both the hospital and her mind simultaneously, as she fought to remember even the most basic things about herself.

"I don't understand," Lily tried to keep her voice calm and steady, but her mind was screaming and demanding answers. All she asked for anymore was answers, but she always seemed to come up empty handed.

The times were changing though it seemed, because Jeanie opened her mouth once again and this time the answers began to flow, "You know how this place is, once they catch wind of something whether true or not, it spreads. People saw you yesterday. They saw you sitting in their compartment on the train, and they saw you come in one after the other last night. Like you were trying to make it look like you weren't together. Maybe it is all coincidence, maybe it's not true, but that's just what the word is in the castle. I figured you should have a heads up so you at least know what you're facing. I know how disgusted you will be to hear that people think that you and him are together."

Lily didn't know what to say. If the quietest girl in the entire school was going out of her way to warn Lily, nothing good could be waiting for her. That's why it felt like all the more reason to pull her robe tighter around her and snuggled back into her comfortable four-poster, with the curtains drawn back around her to shield her from the horrors outside. Maybe once she had a nice, peaceful sleep she'd know what to do. Or better still, maybe the problems would all have magically disappeared once she awoke.

Mindlessly Lily's feet started to propel her forwards, but she didn't get far because a hand had shot out in front of her.

"Here," Jeanie once again returned to the use of only one word.

In her outstretched palm lay a rolled up piece of parchment which Lily gingerly reached out and grasped.

"Thank you," Lily whispered.

Jeanie nodded.

"No, for everything," Lily really was grateful for the heads up, not that she really knew what to do with the newfound information though. Maybe it really was just a good incentive to go back to bed.

"For what it's worth," Jeanie interrupted Lily's thoughts, "I think that Charity and Rosalyn didn't deserve you. Not that my opinion really holds any value though."

Lily could almost feel a tear forming in the corner of her eye. Who was this girl and why had her personality seemed to change over night? It almost made Lily feel guilty for not investing even more time than she initially had to get to know her better. Before she had a chance to thank her new friend again, she had disappeared back the way she had come from. Leaving Lily a clear path that would lead her directly to her beckoning four-poster. She wasn't going to do that though, because in her hand she held the key to what was going on.

As she scanned the page quickly, she knew that going back to bed was now completely out of the question, and so instead she walked over to her trunk and proceeded to get dressed with a purpose.

Just as the note had instructed, she walked out of the portrait hole and made the first left turn, followed by another quick right. Even though Lily had been walking these corridors as a student for years, she had a feeling that it was not just her memory failing her when she thought it wasn't a place she had really ventured to often, if at all. It was off the beaten track, and most students didn't come this way if they were on their way to class. The only few that ever really took the first left when exciting the portrait hole, were just doing so because they were wandering mindlessly or exploring.

When Lily had first unravelled the parchment, what had instantly caught her attention was the two words standing out on top. It's time, it read, and those words were then followed by the instructions on where to meet.

While she had initially been motivated to go and see this thing through, it took for her to get completely dressed before realizing that maybe it wasn't such a good plan. Maybe she would just be better off leaving things as they were and walking away. The problem with this, was that Lily still felt like she had unfinished business to attend to. If she walked away now, she would always wonder if she had have gone and met him, would things have worked themselves out? That was why, even as a part of her was furious at herself for giving in and giving him yet another chance, she knew she had to. The thing was, she had been hurt enough already, really what was one more time if it had the potential to give her the answers that she wanted? From the heading of the message it appeared, at least she hoped it wasn't just her wishing it so, that things were about to change. She wished as she walked down the girl's staircase that she could say this would be the last time she'd let him hurt her, but the problem with James Potter was that for some reason, she found herself putting herself time and time again into the same position to be hurt. The real question though was, was it really worth it? Was he worth it? The even sadder reality was that despite all that he had put her through, Lily suspected, no rather she knew that the answer to those questions were a quick yes. Two questions that she did in fact know the answers to.

Upon rounding the last corner that the instructions had told her to, she found herself wanting to run up to the boy leaning against the wall and give him a hug, at the same time she wanted to run up and give him a smack across the face. It really was a confusing position to be in. Instead of doing either however, she just stayed put. He was still quite a ways away from her, and so it was extremely unlikely that he had heard her approach. Therefore she had a little time to prepare herself, or even back out and walk away if she so chose, but she didn't want to do that. Instead she just hung back, trying to calm her breathing.

Due to the fact that he was some distance away from her still, she couldn't make out what was exactly on the piece of parchment that he was staring at. It was odd, she felt like he was always staring at some scrap of parchment, but he always managed to hide it before anybody could get close enough to take a look at what it was. It was like he had eyes on the back of his head and knew exactly when a person was approaching him, so he could hide it in time. It was only the tip of the iceberg though when it came time to figuring out the mysteries of the raven-haired boy.

Just as he had always managed to do, he murmured something that Lily was too far away to hear, and then he folded up the parchment delicately and tucked it away in his pocket. As soon as it was safely away he turned in Lily's direction and looked directly at her, like he knew that she was standing there, watching him, but how?

"I didn't think you'd come," he said softly upon seeing her standing there, "I mean, I had hoped you would, but after everything that has happened I really didn't expect you to actually show up."

Suddenly her feet began to propel her towards him, and her hand reached out. It surprised even herself, but she completely broke the boundaries of personal space and reached into the pocket where James had just stored or rather hidden his parchment. The look of shock on James' face was not enough however to make Lily stop. Only once her hand connected with the worn parchment that was soften due to age and wear, did she finally back away.

Excitedly she started to unfold the parchment. Finally she'd get to figure out one of his secrets. Surprisingly enough James didn't make a move to stop her. He was almost smirking as she did this, which confused her greatly. If this was something he was usually so keen on hiding from her, why was he suddenly finding it entertaining that she was finally holding it in her hands?

Lily unfortunately received her answer when she came up completely empty handed after scanning every inch of the parchment. There was absolutely nothing written on it. All it was, was a tattered piece of blank parchment.

"Argh," Lily exhaled, her frustration was building. It was typical, just one more secret that she wasn't privy to knowing the answer to. With that she crumpled up the parchment and threw the wadded up ball back at James, "here, you can keep this useless piece of fire starter," she hissed.

"I'm happy to see you too," he tried to lighten the mood, but decided he would be risking too much if he added, and for a minute I thought you were happy to see me too, seeing as you went directly to my crotch.

Just as he had expected, she didn't figure his comment needed or warranted a reply, and so she remanded silent. She was now feeling the full effects of what she had just done and she was in a little bit of shock regarding her boldness. Had she really just marched in there and done what she had done? Apparently she had, but maybe she should take a lesson from that. She should harness the empowering feeling she had had and bottle it up for later. The way her life was going, she would sure need it.

"I've got us breakfast, are you hungry?" James' voice returned to a softer, more caring tone. Without waiting for a reply, he gently reached out and carefully yet firmly grasped Lily's elbow. He then proceeded to direct her to the end of the corridor.

Lily had missed it in the first place, she had been too distracted by what James had been looking at, to see that beyond him at the very end of the corridor was a picnic blanket. It was the stereotypical red and white checked blanket, with the wicker basket pushed off to the side and overflowing with goodies. James helped Lily to sit down and then he proceeded to do the same.

They were slightly tucked away in a rather spacious nook at the end of the corridor, and because it was a dead end in a deserted part of the castle, Lily didn't figure they would be interrupted. Even if they were, they would have a lot of warning because the corridor that extended back was pretty long.

The windows above their head looked out over the lake, which was glistening in the morning chill.

Suddenly Lily felt James' hand brush over her shoulders and so she spun around in that direction, but she calmed down once she saw that he was merely wrapping a thick blanket over her shoulders. He then draped a second one over both of their outstretched legs. He had thought of everything.

"The upside with going into an unused part of the castle is that you are not likely to be disturbed, the downside however is that there is no fires or even torches burning for heat," he commented quietly.

"That's okay," Lily replied so softly that James had to strain his ears to hear her, "I like it this way."

After this neither of them uttered another word for what felt like an eternity. Finally James began to busy himself in the picnic basket. He emerged some time later with a couple of plates and the necessary cutlery. After handing one of the place settings of to Lily, he dove back in. This time he came out with a bowl of what appeared to be a festival fruit salad. It was only the first of many wonderful looking things that James would pull out for them to eat.

By the time they were all set up, Lily had a mug of steaming hot cocoa with cute little fluffy marshmallows bobbing around in the drink, and a plate heaped with delicious looking food. The thing was, the food really was no different from what they would have been served if they had have gone down to the Great Hall, but it just seemed a lot more special and thus significantly more delicious this way, at least in Lily's opinion.

They both started to eat, neither one of them saying anything truly meaningful while they ate. It was mostly just small talk. Once their plates were cleared though and the drinks had been topped up things began to happen. What had initially been a gap between their two bodies was now closing in, and Lily didn't know if it was herself or James that had closed the up the space between their bodies. Now their hips were touching and their arms kept brushing against each other, but neither of them made any move to pull away from the other.

It wasn't Lily's position to start the ball rolling. James had made the first move by inviting her here, and because of that she would sit and wait for him to decide what he was going to say. Besides, she really didn't know if she had that much more to say to him. After all, she'd done most of the talking every other time they'd been together. They were overdue for him to start talking, and so she continued to wait.

Eventually James turned to her and grasped her hand within his.

"I want to be honest with you," he began.

It took all of Lily's self control to keep herself from snorting. All this time he had acted like he had been telling her the truth, and now he was saying he hadn't been?

James must have registered Lily's distaste for what he had just said, because he quickly made a move to clarify what he meant, "I say that, not because what I have already told you has been a lie, which it hasn't been I can assure, but because I have been leaving a lot out. Stuff that I think you deserve to know now. Not that before I didn't think you should know it, it's just, well, complicated. I mean, I wanted to tell you, but I had been ordered not to."

Now Lily was definitely confused. What was going on and what was he talking about, somebody telling him what to do? Lily didn't think that anybody had that sort of control over James. Apparently somebody did, now she just was curious who that person was, and how she could get them on her side.

"Who wouldn't let you?" she tentatively questioned him.

James sighed and then added, "The thing is, I'm still being ordered not to tell you any of this. I just don't think it's going to do anybody any good to keep it buried any longer. So yes, I'm going against McGonagall's direct orders because I think you deserve to know, but also because it has literally been killing me trying to keep this from you."

He had snagged her attention now, that was for sure, "Go on," she encouraged him, and to show him her feelings she squeezed his hand gently. So, McGonagall, that was definitely very, very interesting Lily mulled over her newfound knowledge.

"Okay," James sucked in a deep breath, "the thing is, I don't really know where to begin."

"How about at the beginning," Lily suggested calmly. She meant it as a genuine suggestion, but she hoped that he wouldn't take it offensively.

"We might be here for a while then," he tried to joke, "then again, maybe not. If I start right at the beginning you'll probably get up and walk away and never look back. Some of the stuff I have to say does not shine too favourably on me I must admit."

"You'll never know until you try," Lily really wanted to hear what he had to say. She truly believed that she was only minutes away from receiving the answers that she had desperately but unsuccessfully fought to remember for so long.

Without any more prompting, James suddenly dove in and started to explain to Lily the vital information that had been missing from her memory.

"Last New Year's Eve, Charity's family held a party just as they did again this time. Before I go any further though, I'm just going to say, I don't know how much of this you know or don't know, so I'm going to explain it like you don't know any of it, something I assume to be true. So last year we were both at Charity's party and I have to say that the best thing in my life happened that night. I don't know why you finally did it then and there, but as the clock chimed midnight you turned and kissed me. To say it had caught me off guard would probably be the understatement of this millennium. I mean, here was the girl that I had been absolutely crazy about for so long making a move and kissing me. Things had been, how should I say this, more civil between us during the lead up to this, but I could have never foreseen what was about to unfold. All those years of you hating me, I really don't know why you suddenly changed your mind. You never really told me, at least not specifically what I had done to redeem myself. Now I know what you're probably thinking, that I'm just spouting off some made up story in an attempt to win your trust, but I'm not. I'm really not, but again, I have no way to prove this though."

"This was at Loddington House?" Lily voiced her question with a trembling voice.

James nodded his response.

"Then I believe you. It explains a lot."

Now it was James' turn to raise his own question, "I don't understand."

"It is really simply really. I have found that I have remembered pretty much everything about my life. Friends, family, vacations, you name it and I could remember at least something about it. That's why I found it odd that I had absolutely no recollection of attending the New Year's Eve Party last year or ever going to Loddington House for that matter, because really there seemed to be no sound reason why it was evading me. The only thing that was completely gone from my memory was you, and anything that had to do with you. That's why I figured something had had to have happened between us at a Loddington House. Otherwise, why could I not remember ever going there? The thing is, that while everyone has been telling me to stay clear of you, one of the main things that has been drawing me back towards you is because you have mysteriously vanished from my memory. Maybe it's because you are a terrible person and did horrible things to me, but I don't think that's the case. No, I think the reality is that there is a lot more to this story and I'm glad that somebody is finally stepping up to the plate and going to try and explain it to me."

After taking a deep breath to calm her jitters after her long-winded explanation, Lily motioned rather awkwardly for James to continue on with his version of the story, "I'm sorry I interrupted you."

"No, no, feel free to do exactly that at any time if you have any questions."

"Oh, I most certainly have questions. It kind of comes with the territory though. I mean, having your memory wiped completely clean does seem to put you in a constant state of confusion."

Things seemed to be going pretty well because they were not just talking but there was a sense of humour about it all now, and it didn't hurt that they were sitting pressed up against each other under a blanket. Even if it was only for warmth, or so Lily would have explained if anyone were to have caught them sitting so closely together. What she didn't know how'd she explain was why they were sitting together in the first place

"So what happened next?" Lily wanted to know more. She felt like she was a young child again who was demanding for her bedtime story to be read quicker, so she could find out the ending. As Lily grew older however, she realized that she could combat the sorrow and anxiety associated with reading a book, by simply reading the ending first. Unfortunately, this method wouldn't work for this story, because she was already at the ending, and it wasn't making the rest of the plot fall neatly into place.

"Well, you kind of avoided me for oh, about a month."

Lily was completely and utterly shocked. No, shocked was not a strong enough word to describe her feelings at that exact moment. How could she have had the will power to stay away from him for that long? It seemed unfathomable now to her.

"A month?" she expressed her displeasure at herself, "what an awful, awful person I was. Why would I do such a thing?" it wasn't really a question directed towards him. She didn't figure he would have the answer to it, and now because neither did she, the answer would never be known.

"The thing was, just about as quickly as this all started, you came around and then I couldn't get you to leave me alone."

"I don't understand," Lily practically whimpered.

James sighed, "Let me really start from the beginning then. You see, it all revolves around Charity…"

That was exactly the last thing Lily was wanting to hear at this point in time.

"…But before I go any further I want you to know that by Valentine's Day we were a couple."

It hurt James to finally say those words because he didn't know what Lily's reactions was going to be towards this news. As it turned out, he had nothing to fear, at least if the smile that instantly spread across Lily's face had anything to say.

"Oh thank you Merlin," Lily almost jumped to her feet, "you know, when I first saw you in the Hospital Wing, I was worried that you were my best friend or even worse, my brother or something bizarre like that and I was upset because I instantly felt this attraction towards you and…" she stopped mid-sentence when her mind finally caught up to what her mouth was spouting off. Her mind was now yelling at her to stop talking, because she didn't know if she really could trust him yet.

James couldn't hide his chuckle, which once Lily realized that he found this all incredibly funny, she began to blush a deep scarlet. Oh, the joys of being a redhead.

It was all back to business shortly after that, and it wasn't going to be fun, as the topic of Charity was brought up once again.

"So, back to the New Year's Eve Party. Charity saw you kiss me and to put it kindly, she freaked. Apparently she was developing these feelings for me that she had been planning to act on, but you beat her to it. You may be thinking that Charity has just been acting oddly towards you since your accident, but that has pretty much been how she's acted for as long as I've known her. With Charity, it's all about Charity, and it doesn't matter who stands in her way. It's a great quality for a Quidditch Player, but an awful one, if I do say so myself, for a friend. Once we later got together you later told me that the reason you just disappeared off the face of the earth for a month was because you were trying to mediate your friendship. After a while, you realized that you were never going to win against Charity."

It was at that point that a piece was not fitting into the puzzle correctly and so Lily raised her point, "Why then is Charity now telling me that I hate you or I'm supposed to hate you?"

"Isn't it obvious," James burst out, but then realized exactly what he was saying. Nothing was obvious to Lily because of her accident, no his accident that caused her problems, "I'm sorry that sounds harsh, I just mean, Charity was telling you anything that would keep us apart, regardless of whether it was true or not."

Still, it didn't seem to fit together nicely to Lily. Sure, she knew that Charity had been lying to her all along, but that one thing just didn't seem to be a lie. It just seemed to be way too familiar sounding to Lily, for it to be totally made up. It was just a hunch, and Lily had nothing to back it up so she decided that she wouldn't think about it until later when she was alone.

'Lily, I can see that you're sceptical. The thing is, you had hated me from day one and I well, I have been in love with you since day one. I pretty much began asking you out from that point on and needless to say, I really ticked you off. It didn't really help my case that I kept asking you over and over again in front of a lot of people even though you're a pretty private person, but your answer always remained the same much to my complete disappointment. Then something changed in you, you told me yourself. It was at the end of third year, just as we were getting off the train at King's Cross for the summer, I tried one last time. By that time I knew what your answer was going to be, but what had changed was that you hesitated before saying it. I knew that something was different, but you still kept up the show for some time after that. Probably because you are so strong willed that you'd rather feed yourself to the Giant Squid, than betray your word. After all that time, your hatred had simmer down and turned into something a lot more beneficial to me."

How could something sound so foreign, yet so familiar? Lily couldn't help but wonder. She felt like she had never heard these words before, or lived this story, but still everything just felt so right. That was one of the reasons that she was trusting what was being said to her, because it just felt right. Nothing else anybody had said to her before this possessed that same amazing feeling.

"Something that is definitely one of the things I love about you, but I must admit, was really getting on my nerves around that time is that you are so true to your word. You were not going to fall for me, simply because you vowed during our first train ride that you wouldn't. The thing is, you lost that battle with yourself. So, then after years of telling everyone that would listen to you that you couldn't stand me, you really couldn't back up and admit that you were wrong, because Lily if there's something you hate more than going against your word, it is admitting you're wrong."

Lily blushed at this comment, and hung her head in shame. How was it that he knew so much about her?

"When I said earlier, that things had been going good between us before the New Year's Eve party, I should have been more specific. By that I mean, we were working towards a relationship, but it was an uphill climb. You can't just erase years worth of history over night. Maybe we weren't a couple yet, but I think I'm pretty safe in saying that we were friends. We'd done a lot of talking and I think that when you finally kissed me at that party, it was your way of saying that you had moved on from thinking about what everyone else around you was thinking about you. What you didn't expect was that one of your best friends would freak out like she did."

A weight had just been lifted off of Lily's chest. Now she could live with herself. While she had initially fought with herself over why she had more of a right to James over Charity, she now knew that James and her had had something going on for a lot longer than she had initially believed. It was all beginning to make sense, at last.

James had realized that Lily was lost in her own thoughts and so he didn't push her. Instead he just remained quiet and allowed her to mull over everything he had just said.

After a significant amount of time had passed James asked Lily if she was ready to carry on, she was.

"After Charity had her little tantrum you had a lot of back-pedalling to do. You pulled away from me and tried to patch up your friendship, although for the life of me I can't see why you would want to make amends with her. Anyway, that is really beside the point, and not my call to make at all, so I apologize for that. Charity didn't make it easier for you though. You never told me any details, but when you finally approached me once again in February, you just blurted out without any warning that if we were going to do this we had to keep it a secret. By this point I was just so relieved that you had finally said yes to me, that I really didn't even think about what keeping a relationship a secret actually meant. It worked though, at least we made it work. Sure I would have liked to take you out in public, but I was happy enough to just be with you, wherever that happened to be."

Lily was feeling bad, she could see the pain that she had caused him. All because she was playing some stupid game with her so called friend, or trying to save herself from hearing the jeers issued by her fellow students. Most of which were probably just in her head.

"Maybe then that's why Charity told you that you hated me, because you pretty much acted that way around me when we were around other people. I think you did it because you were trying to save face. If you started to tone down towards me, people would start questioning what had happened. Charity may very well have thought that you had gone back to not being able to stand the sight of me."

She could also see that it was hurting him to tell her all of this. None of it was cheerful conversation, but she appreciated it greatly that he was finally doing this for her.

"James."

"What?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For telling me all of this, I know it can't be easy to relieve all of this, and while I'm at it, I'm sorry."

"For what?" he was beginning to sound like he only had two words in his vocabulary.

"For how I treated you for so long, and then making you keep us a secret. I don't really know what my motive was, but hearing you explain it to me makes it sound so stupid, whatever the reason happened to be."

He nodded, but Lily didn't quite know if he was accepting her apology or just confirming that he had heard what she had to say.

Lily absentmindedly fiddled with the empty mug that was sitting beside her. The hot liquid in it had long since disappeared.

"Did you want some more?" James asked her, when he saw her staring at the inside of the empty mug.

She nodded her head and before she knew it she had another mugful of the wonderful drink. Now it was time to move forward to her next question, and it was sure to be another big one.

a/n Whew, it appears that both myself and James have A LOT of explaining to do. You won't be disappointed, I promise, or at least I can hope that to be true. You guys all know what's coming…the only question is, how is Lily going to react when she hears the explanation behind why her memory was wiped in the first place? Well, that and much more is still to come so stay tuned. Anyway, thanks for reading this and please let me know what you think.