Disclaimer- I do not own Criminal Minds and I am not making any money by writing about it.

A/N- while this story is not a sequel to my other fic, Boy with the Blues, it is written with the idea of that story having happened prior to this. You don't have to read Boy with the Blues for this to make sense, but this chapter does have a reference to that story.

Chapter 3

Morgan tossed restlessly, unable to find a comfortable position. As far as couches went, it was true that Reid's was pretty comfortable, but it was day four of him sleeping there, and he was really missing sleeping in a bed.

Reid had been doing remarkably well the past several days, and Morgan was thinking that maybe the next night he would go home. Reid had seemed to get a little irritated with him that night, but Morgan suspected it didn't have much to do with any withdrawal from the Dilauded. It was more likely Reid was just unused to having a houseguest, and missed having his apartment to himself. But Reid had been fairly tolerant about Morgan hovering over him for the better part of the week. He even looked better than he had for the past several months. Apart from looking a little tired, Reid seemed to practically be himself again. He was rattling out statistics like usual, reading books like some people ate candy, and had been remarkably amiable. He had been smiling a lot more, and sometimes talked to the other team members about things unrelated to work. The night before he had even asked even asked everyone if they wanted to go out to eat after work, and several of them had. And Morgan hadn't missed the fact that Reid seemed to be getting along with Prentiss finally.

Morgan rolled onto his back, still unable to get comfortable, but he couldn't help but smile a bit. The kid was doing alright.

His smile faded and he stopped moving when he heard a soft noise come from Reid's room. He lay still, but didn't hear any more. He frowned. It could have been his imagination, and the more time that passed in quiet the more he thought that's what it was. He was about to close his eyes when he heard it again, more clearly. It was a whimper, this time followed by a soft, but clearly terrified "please."

Morgan was halfway down the hallway before he realized he didn't remember having made the conscious decision to even get up. That was probably because he had been waiting for Reid to have a nightmare for the past several nights. As he reached the door Reid spoke again, this time his voice laced heavily with panic.

"No. Please," followed by a soft sob. "Please don't. Please."

Morgan entered Reid's room, not needing to turn on a light, as Reid always slept with the dim lamp on his bedside table on. He quickly dropping to a knee by the side of the bed, and grabbed the younger man's shoulder. "Reid, wake up, man. It's just a dream."

The attempt at comfort did not have the desired effect as Reid flinched and let out a strangled cry. A tear seeped from under closed eyelids. It was the first time Morgan had seen Reid cry since the night he had visited him in the hospital in Georgia. True, he had teared up a bit when talking to Morgan about his difficulty with the crime scene photos on his first case back, but this was different.

Morgan gripped Reid's arm gently. "Come on kid, wake up. It's alright."

Reid batted feebly at Morgan's arm, trying to push him away. "No,no,no, please, no," he chanted, his chest hitching with quiet sobs.

"Spencer!" Morgan raised his voice in attempt to draw Reid from his nightmare. It may have been the first time he used the man's first name.

It worked, and Reid snapped awake, bolting up, his dark eyes darting across the room as if trying to locate any monsters hiding in the corners that had followed him from his dreams to the waking world. His eyes finally settled on Morgan, but he still looked terrified. "I don't want to be buried alive," he said desperately.

The older man cringed. He remembered seeing the half dug hole in the graveyard in Georgia and the shovel beside it. Though Reid hadn't talked about it he assumed that Tobias, or the persona of Charles to be more accurate, had been making the young man dig his own grave, and that had always disturbed him greatly. The idea that he may have been planning to bury Reid alive was even worse.

"Nobody's going to bury you alive, kid," Morgan had to work hard to keep the steel edge of anger out of his voice at the thought of someone doing that to a person who he considered a brother. "You're at home. You're safe here."

Reid blinked a few times, his eyes starting to focus a bit more. He sat up and shoved his blankets aside. He ran a hand over his face, trying to wipe away the tears, and Morgan didn't miss the way his hand was shaking.

"Kid, you alright?" Morgan asked. Reid did not respond, but instead remained sitting with his head bowed, hair falling forward to hide his face. Morgan reached over and touched his shoulder again.

Reid flinched away, almost violently this time. "Don't," he said. "Don't touch me."

"Sorry," Morgan said softly and let his hand fall away. "Do you want to talk about it?"

""No," Reid said harshly

"Kid, it would probably help-"

"I'm not a kid," Reid snapped. "Stop treating me like a child just because I'm younger than you." Reid got out of bed and stood, his posture aggressive. "I don't need you hovering over me all the time," he practically growled before he stormed to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

Morgan flinched at the noise. Reid had gone from terrified to as mad as he had ever seen him in the blink of an eye, and he wasn't sure how to process that. He got slowly to his feet and went back to the living room. He dropped heavily on the couch and ran his hand over his head. I've been an idiot. He thought. He couldn't help but be irritated with himself. He had known Reid long enough to be aware that if something was wrong with the young man his first instinct was to keep it to himself. He shouldn't have assumed that if Reid was suffering from withdrawal from Dilauded he would automatically tell him. No, Reid would have hid it. He always hid things that he felt made him appear weak.

In the bathroom Reid splashed water on his face then left the water running to muffle his ragged breathing from Morgan. He was angry with himself for having a nightmare, and even more angry that he had snapped at Morgan like that.

He had been avoiding getting much sleep the past several days. A large reason for his lack of sleep was due to the fact that without being high it was difficult for him to sleep, but he had also been avoiding doing so because without the aid of drugs he knew that the nightmares would be waiting for him. He knew that keeping himself from sleeping indefinably was impossible, but he had intended to sleep as little as possible while Morgan was staying with his so that the older man would not witness his nightmares and their aftermath. In addition to not sleeping, Reid had been feeling increasingly shaky and sick the past several days. He had been able to hide it from Morgan so as not to concern him, and was fairly certain the man had thought he was doing well. Until he had ruined it with the damn nightmare, that was.

Reid's thoughts strayed to the thing he had avoided about thinking about for the past for days. The thing that he had not told Morgan about. The thing that was hidden in the back of his sock drawer.

When he had gotten his own Dilauded he had still had at least another three doses of Tobias' Dilauded left, but he had wanted to use the pure Dilauded rather than the Dilauded-psychedelic cocktail that Tobias had used, so he had moved that vial to a hiding place in his sock drawer. He told himself the reason he had not let Morgan know about it when he was getting rid of the other drugs was that he had just forgot, but he knew that wasn't true. It was his insurance policy, his 'in case of emergency' stash. There were extra syringes there too. If he went to his room he could take just a little, and he would feel so much better.

But though he craved the drug badly, he found he didn't want to take it. He didn't want to undo the work he had done over the past several days to stay clean.

Breathing hard Reid backed up until his back hit the wall, then slid down with his knees pulled to his chest and buried his face in his trembling hands. He bit his lip hard to keep in the sobs that were threatening to escape. He twisted his long fingers into his hair and pulled, using the pain to try to distract himself, but he was unsuccessful. He didn't want to use the drug, but was not certain he would be able to restrain himself if it was in the house.

His movements decisive Reid pushed himself off the floor and threw the door open. He left the bathroom faucet running as he went to his room and dug through the drawer until he found the vial.

"Reid, what are you doing?" Morgan came back to stand in the doorway.

Reid clutched the glass vial in his hand and pushed passed Morgan, going back to the bathroom.

"Reid?" Morgan's voice took on a note of alarm as he followed the younger man. "What do you have in your hand, man?" Reid went into the bathroom, Morgan close behind him. When he saw the vial in his hand he grabbed Reid's arm, assuming he meant to use it.

Reid pushed Morgan away, and unscrewed the top of the bottle.

"Reid, don't-…" Morgan started, but trailed off when he saw Reid dumping the drug down the drain.

When it was empty he dropped the vial into the sink and it fell with a dull clatter. Reid watched the vial roll slowly back and forth in the curve of the sink, and Morgan watched Reid.

Reid let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding and sat down on the tile floor again, pressed against the wall. He was pale, and a single tear spilled down his cheek.

Morgan crouched next to Reid and the young man looked up at him, tremors shaking him almost violently. "I-I-I d-didn't tell you th-that I had more," he practically whimpered. "I'm sorry."

Morgan shook his head, and ran his hand up and down Reid's back in a soothing gesture, amazed at how tightly coiled all his muscles were. "It's alright, Reid."

"I-I k-k-kept it just in c-case…" Reid stopped and swallowed hard. His mouth seemed to have forgotten how to work, and each word was a struggle to get out. Even his lips appeared to be shaking. "I-in c-case I needed it, b-b-but then I-I needed it, but I d-d-didn't want it, so I had t-to get rid of it." His body slumped in relief at being able to finish his sentence. He still shook, but Morgan could feel his muscles relaxing incrementally.

"You did real good, kid," Morgan assured him. "I know it was hard, but you did really good."

"I'm done with it," Reid mumbled after a few minutes. The tremors were subsiding and he looked exhausted. The ever-present dark circles under his eyes were even worse than usual, and Morgan wondered how long it had been since he had gotten a full night's sleep. He guessed that it had been the first night he had slept on his couch, when he had been high for the last time.

"I'm done with it," Reid repeated, still in a low, exhausted voice, but there was determination there as well. "I can't rely on it any more. I'm done."

"Good," Morgan said. He stood up. "Come on, let's get you back to bed."

He pulled Reid to his feet and guided him back to his room. Reid already seemed half asleep, and was hardly able to walk under his own power. Once in his room he dropped into bed, drawing the blanket over himself. Morgan was pretty sure he was asleep within seconds. He stood at the foot of the bed for a moment longer, looking at the young man. He realized he would probably never understand how difficult it was for him to throw the drug away, and was impressed, not for the first time, at how the man who was the youngest and least physically powerful on the team was also probably the most strong.

He stared to turn away, but paused. "I'm proud of you, kid," he said softly before quietly leaving the room.

His back turned, he did not notice the small, if tired smile that pulled at the corner of the young man's mouth.

Getting rid of the drug seemed to lift a large weight off of Reid's shoulders. He didn't yet feel free of the drug, or the memories that haunted him from those two days in Georgia. He wasn't sure he ever would be entirely free of them. But for the first time he felt he had a chance. This time when he drifted off to sleep it was willingly, and for the first time in months his sleep was both drugless and peaceful.

The End

E/N- Alright, that's all folks. I pretty much feel like this is over. Obviously more could be added if I wanted to push it, but I feel like this was the story I wanted to tell, and adding any more would just be redundant. I imagine I will be writing more Criminal Minds fiction, so if you liked this story keep an eye out for others. Thank you to everyone who read this. I really appreciated all the adds to favourite lists and alerts, and especially the reviews.