So this is a little dark and a little sad, I have no idea where it came from but a good idea where it's going. I don't know how well it will work or how much people (if anyone) will like it. I'm not sure I like it. I also apologise that it's short and badly written!
Please.
Please please please...
Shit. No.
Shit, shit, shit.
This cannot be happening.
There has to be some kind of mistake. Has to be. I thought there was some chemical mechanism that prevented this! I hadn't even... There's just no way I thought that...
Shit.
Now what the hell am I going to do?
And what the hell will people think... what the hell will he think.
We barely talk any more, Peter and I, and I never even told him what happened... Oh God what will he think of me. I can hardly tell him the truth.
And Rach, what will she do when I tell her?
The only one I know will be happy is Ella, even Walter will just be confused and suspicious.
Why the hell is this happening to me? Have I not had enough of a hard time recently? Or am I just destined to live an unlucky life?
I'm terrified.
But I need help.
After much debating, crying and pacing, I grabbed my cell phone and called the only person I thought would understand right now, the only person that knew the truth.
"Olivia?"A sweet voice echoed slightly in my ear and I had to gulp back down to gather my courage.
"H.. hi" I tried to sound confident but my voice faltered at the first hurdle. "I need help"
She agreed to come over straight away, and I only had to wait 20 minutes before Astrid came through my door. I poured us sodas and we took seats on the couch.
"So... what's up?" Astrid asked, straight to the point.
"I have no idea how to say this, so I guess I should just show you." I mumbled, and produced her with what seemed to be my life sentence. She stared at it for a few seconds, her mouth hanging open slightly in shock.
"Oh my god..." she breathed, turning her eyes back to mine. She paused for a few minutes, wondering what to say next. "What are you going to do?"
"I have no idea" I admitted, losing my battle with tears "What can I do?"
"I know you won't want to, Olivia, but you should tell Peter the truth"
"Astrid" I sobbed a little and she put a hand on my arm. "I don't want to feel any more weak, and I don't want him to do anything stupid, or think that – "
" – He won't if you explain, but what do you think he'll assume? That you've been with some random guy? Or worse someone you both know?"
"I can't bring myself to tell him"
"I can be there with you, if you like, but you know you need to tell him. No matter how angry or disappointed you think you still are with him, you know you still need him, Liv."
Astrid. Always the person to make sense.
"When" I asked, without emotion.
"As soon as possible..." She muttered. "I can call him now? It's only 7.30"
"Now?"
"Best to get it out of the way Olivia"
I gulped and nodded. This was fast turning into a top 10 contender for the worst day of my life. Astrid made the call, and we waited in near silence for his arrival. We didn't have to wait long.
I felt fresh tears welling in my eyes but I held them in place defiantly when Astrid let him in. The concern was written all over his face, his perfectly formed, but tired and depressed looking face. He came a few steps closer but kept his distance, as had become the norm.
"What's going on?" he asked quietly, sadness in his tone. I looked at the floor.
"Liv" Astrid reminded me of my decision to tell the truth. I decided to keep it short and blunt.
"Peter, the month before last I was attacked and raped, and now I'm pregnant"