Author's Note: This story was originally going to be a two-shot, but the reviews and favorites inspired me to keep writing. So here is the third and final chapter. Thanks, everyone! :-)

~La Tristesse~

P.S. Still don't own any Suite Life characters, but if Disney ever wants to give them away…

Chapter 3/Epilogue

When Zack logged into his e-mail the next morning, he discovered two things: the ship's server was up and running again, and an avalanche of e-mail had filled his inbox. Over a thousand unread messages! He clicked to his Fan Stories account and was astonished see that "Below Her Decks" had attracted a mind-boggling six-hundred-and-twenty-five reviews. More than any chapter in the history of the Fan Stories site. And according to the traffic meter, he had readers from all over the world, including countries he had never heard of before – Andorra, Latvia, Mongolia, Whangamomona.

Not bad, he thought to himself as he lay on his bed, browsing reviews, flame replies and a medley of other accolades. Not bad at all for a guy who always got a D in English. Who knew what he could accomplish when he actually cared about something?

He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, contemplating his next move. A second chapter of "Below Her Decks"? A new fanfiction story? Wait, that wouldn't do – Zack fully intended to grow rich from his amazing ability to do stuff with words. An original story was the only way to go.

Inspiration sparked. He would write a novel that combined a broader range of personal interests...

"You know what, Tamara," said Shane, looking into her lustful bloodshot eyes. "I want to eat brains with you. Skull-fulls of tasty oozing brains."

Tamara blushed and giggled in her hot undead way. "Me too, Shane. Me, too," she growled. "Brains are yummy."

The two zombies lunged for each other and made out until their jaws fell off.

Zack Martin, New York Times Best-selling Author. It had an intriguing ring to it.

A knock at the door snapped Zack out of his creative reverie.

Cody stood there, holding a huge fluffy teddy bear. He wore a miserable look on his face. The bear wore a white t-shirt with "I'm Bear-y Sorry" printed on the front.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," Cody said. Guilt had gnawed at him all night. It was no secret that Zack felt inferior to him academically. Shouldn't he have been happy for Zack? Proud of Zack for receiving so much positive attention for his story? It wasn't as though Bailey even knew Captain Awesome was really Zack. Heck, she didn't even know he, Cody, was The String Theorist.

Zack did a double take. "So you bought me a stuffed animal?" Since when did brothers buy each other stuffed animals?

"It's from the gift shop," Cody said in a slightly defensive tone.

"You haven't been reading that twincest crap, have you?"

"No!" Cody shook his head, disgust contorting his features. He shuddered just thinking about such a concept. "Look, I was a jerk and I'm sorry. Your story wasn't that bad. I was just jealous."

"What was that?"

"I was jealous."

Zack cupped a hand to his ear. "Didn't catch that."

"I WAS JEALOUS!"

"Okay then." Zack dropped the bear on his desk and held out his arms.

Cody stepped into them gratefully, blinking away a tear. In spite of having launched an international flame war against his brother, Cody hated fighting with Zack. Now all he wanted was for the flame war to be doused by the tide of new fanfiction stories and discussions that constantly flooded the Internet.

After an exchange of heartfelt back slaps, Cody spotted the laptop on Zack's bed.

"Is the Internet is back on?" he asked, anxiously.

"Yeah, just now."

Cody resisted the urge to dash over and check his review count for "True Love on Deck." The likelihood of diminishing reviews had plagued him ever since the flame war had ignited. Regardless of the adage that all publicity was good publicity, in this case, he feared, there probably was such a thing as bad publicity. With Zack's one story already getting more reviews than any chapter of "True Love on Deck" he could be in trouble. Nonetheless, he was determined to show support for Zack's new hobby, even it meant swallowing his own pride.

"So, um, are you going to keep writing your story?"

"Nah, I think I'll retire from Breaker High," said Zack. "I've already achieved as much as an author can."

When Cody looked at him uncomprehendingly, Zack decided he'd waited long enough to drop the bombshell. "I won a bunch of awards in the Breaker High Fanfic Awards."

"Awards?" Cody demanded, wild-eyed with confusion. "When?"

"Last night, while the ship's server was down," Zack replied. "They were announced, voted on and awarded."

"You...?"

Zack nodded and picked up the laptop. Counting on the fingers of his free hand, he recited, "Best Story, Best Author, Best Underlying Symbolism, Best Creative Vision, Best Teen Scene, Best Mature Scene–"

"Both?" Cody spluttered. "How could you win for both teen and mature scene?"

"I don't know." Zack shrugged. "I also won Best Newcomer, Best One-shot and Best Series. And I got a Lifetime Achievement Award."

"That doesn't make any sense!" Shards of broken logic embedded themselves in Cody's brain. His head ached.

"Oh don't feel bad, bro," Zack said, sympathetically. "You were nominated, too."

"I was?" Cody felt hope spring eternal.

"And you won an award. You won Best Villain."

"Best Villain?" Cody's eyebrows shot up in alarm. "I don't have any villains in my story."

"No, um... you won Best Villain," Zack clarified. "You, personally. By a landslide."

Cody jerked the laptop out of Zack's hand. "Gimme that." Zack had to be yanking his chain in typical Zack-like fashion.

Alas, the Breaker High Fanfic Awards webpage confirmed his sinking fears. Zack was the big winner, the hero, the golden boy of Breaker High fandom, while Cody was last week's news, fit only for lining the bottom of a birdcage. Nay, he was the bird droppings that covered the lining.

"It's not fair," he wailed. "I put my whole heart and soul into 'True Love on Deck.' " He wanted to hurl the laptop across the cabin and burst into tears.

Zack patted Cody's shoulder. "At least it got nominated."

"Hey, guys, watcha doin'?"

Bailey Pickett had materialized in the doorway. Cowgirl913 was demurely dazzling in a flowery blue dress and navy capris, a wide yellow belt looped around her waist and cute black sneakers on her feet.

"Nothing," said Zack and Cody in unison. Cody slammed the laptop shut onto Zack's fingers, causing Zack to wince and shake his hand.

"Oh, h-hey B-bailey," Cody said, beset by the clamor of nerves that always attacked him whenever Bailey happened to be in his line of vision. Had she gotten even prettier since he'd last seen her in Social Studies? As he pondered the question, his tongue glued itself to the roof of his mouth and Zack looked on in bemusement.

"So, Bailey, what can we do you for?" Zack asked before the silence could veer into awkward territory.

"Oh, um, I was just wondering if you wanted to compare proofs for the geometry assignment, Cody," said the brunette.

Were her cheeks turning pink? Heat rose to Cody's face. Had she noticed?

Bailey smiled expectantly at him.

Whoooosh. Cody's resentment flew out the porthole like a bird fleeing its cage, but his tongue remained stubbornly glued in place.

Zack couldn't take it any longer. "Well, it looks like you two nerds have a lot of studying to do," he said and slinging his arms around their shoulders, steered them both to the door. It was least he could do for his brother. Besides, once he became a best-selling zombie author, the babes would be crawling all over him, craving his sexy, sexy brain.

Out in the hall, the epiphany hit Cody like a boulder-sized meteor. This could be it, a chance to break out of the friend zone, to leave behind the realms of Internet fantasy and orchestrate a real-live version of "True Love on Deck."

It took him only a few seconds to grab his geometry textbooks from his cabin and rush back out to where Bailey stood waiting.

"What's new ?" he asked, his best attempt at confident cool as he opened the hallway door for her.

Bailey bestowed a knee-weakening smile upon him. "I've been totally into watching Breaker High. My sister sent me a bunch of DVDs she burned off the TV. So many memories of rushing home after school to catch reruns and see what would happen next with Sean and Tamira. Oh, how I loved them." She clasped her hands together over her heart and let out a blissful sigh. Her face glowed with nostalgia. "Did you ever watch it, Cody?"

Cody didn't miss a beat.

"Nope," he said. "Never heard of it."

Breaker High was a teen comedy-drama series that ran from 1997 to 1998, airing on UPN. It focused on the adventures of students at a high school located on a cruise ship. Leading man and wannabe casanova Sean Stanley Hanlon, played by a very young (and very cute) Ryan Gosling, eventually won the affections of quirky small-town sweetheart Tamira Goldstein. Denise Williams, the academic overachiever, spent most of the series studying.

Thank you again for reading. Reviews make a writer smile :-)