A/N: Guess what? I got a netbook! So hopefully I should be updating quite a bit more, and I should have several stories up quicker. For now, though, ncfan wrote a fabulous UlquiorraXNemu called Nihilism. Go check it out. It inspired me to write this, which I hope is okay...it's dedicated to ncfan, and I hope it works! For the record, this is an AU where all the espada were not killed, but taken into the custody of the 12th after Aizen was killed. Thanks! -Nanao
evanescent meetings
It's like tracing your own face in a mirror, almost. The expression in their eyes is the same. It's indifference. She never smiles, he never smiles, it's a perpetual battle. Who will change first? It is impossible, they both think, for anyone to truly be like me. It is an act. Who will give it up first?
"Your name is?" Nemu asks this with the brisk, I-have-better-places-to-be manner of a judge already bored with the case.
"Ulquiorra."
"And your rank is cuarto espada, if my records are correct."
"Correct." She writes something down.
"Did you serve Sosuke Aizen at any point in your life?"
"I did."
"And for what purpose?"
"He was my lord. I serve my lord. If you have a lord, which you must, you serve him without question."
They are staring at each other. Not, per se, at each other, more like into each other. Ulquiorra's eyes are on Nemu's. Nemu's eyes are on Ulquiorra's. Each daring each other to break the spell.
"And do you have a lord?" he inquires calmly, after a period of silence.
"I do."
"Then you know what it is like to serve under one."
"I do."
"Do you have any further questions? I am tired," Ulquiorra informs her.
"I have many further questions, espada. But first I would like to inform you that I demand respect, as I am a lieutenant of the twelfth squad."
The stares heighten.
"Did you take care of the human Inoue?"
"I did."
"Under the orders of..."
"Lord Sosuke Aizen."
"Did you harm this girl in any way?"
"No. My job was to make sure she was well cared for and did not experience any ill effects from her time in Hueco Mundo."
"And did she experience any ill effects?"
"Perhaps psychologically, but I am not one who can speak of such things."
Nemu watches him with the eye of an inquisitioner. "You are an arrancar."
"That is correct."
"Most of the arrancars I have witnessed have far more of a violent nature. Why is this different for you?"
"I do not feel the need to be violent. I am in no danger at the present time, and if I was, I would not be excited about it. I would be calm, and I would change the situation to my advantage."
Nemu studies him for a moment. She appears to be thinking. "Why would you waste such immense reiatsu on doing so?"
"It is not wasting. It is keeping it in reserve for times of greater need."
"Kurosaki nearly killed you."
"And yet he did not. And that is why I sit here today, waiting to be destroyed by your scientists."
Nemu studies him closely. Surely, with that statement, he must be showing some emotion. Fear, or regret, or something of the sort. But no, like her, he is completely indifferent.
"Are you surprised by my manner?"
"I was recently in the company of the espada Grimmjow. Your demeanor is a change."
A welcome change, she thinks.
"Do I have the right to ask your name?"
Nemu is tempted to say no, but she still says it. "Kurotsuchi-sama will do."
"I refuse to call anyone sama except my lord."
"Your lord is dead."
"Then I will not call anyone sama."
"Kurotsuchi-fukutaicho, then," Nemu says. She will not lose her patience. "I am interested in your calm nature, espada. I was unaware that arrancars could exhibit such restraint."
"Then here is your proof."
Nemu stares at him for another long minute, and he reciprocates the stare. With no response, Nemu turns and walks away, taking her clipboard with her.
She is back the next day.
"Are there more questions?"
"Not by order of my father, no. I am simply intrigued by your manner, espada, and I intend to learn about you. What can you tell me about yourself?"
"Nothing. I am unremarkable. I was once the cuarto espada, who took care of Orihime Inoue and fought intruders to Hueco Mundo. I am now an arrancar locked up in a cell, being interrogated by a woman who does not smile."
"Do you often meet women who smile?"
"Tia Halibel and Neliel tu Oderschvank smiled on occasion. Orihime Inoue smiled far more often than was necessary."
"You seem to have a distaste for it."
"You seem to have a distaste for it as well."
"One could say that. What can you tell me about your powers?"
"I had a zanpakuto, Murcielago. I had a resurrecion, and then I had a second resurrecion. I was, nevertheless, defeated by Kurosaki."
"You are hardly worthless."
Ulquiorra says nothing, looking at his cuffs.
"Just because you are restrained does not mean you do not still have power."
"Is it a good idea to remind me of that?"
Nemu pauses. "Doubtless you think of such things, anyway. I am sure you want to kill all of us, given the chance."
"I am sure you want to kill me."
"Why?"
There is a question that astounds him. Even Ulquiorra is confused by Nemu, it seems. "Why? I am a Hollow. Is that not reason enough?"
"You have not killed any shinigami," she says. "You have perhaps helped the traitor Sosuke Aizen, but I do not see why you are a heartless being. You are not heartless unless-"
"Excuse me," Ulquiorra says, looking straight at her. "Do not use the word heart."
Nemu looks back. "Why not?"
"It does not make sense to those who do not have hearts. I am heartless for the purpose of simply not having a heart. Whether or not I have emotions is different."
"You do not show emotion," Nemu notes.
"Nor do you."
"We are similar in that."
They are both silent. For another minute they sit there, watching, and then Nemu gets up and leaves again.
Ulquiorra is alone in his cell. He spends most of his time looking at his reiatsu cuffs. He is, however, thinking of Nemu. How can they be so similar? It seems impossible that anyone can be so like him. Without emotions.
He has never seen the like before.
"I will not be returning," Nemu informs him as she enters the cell, and shuts the door quietly.
"Why is that?"
"My father has told me that I spend far too much time here, and that I am probably getting too close to you. I disagree, but he is my lord. I will obey him."
"Who is your father?"
"My captain."
"Why is he also your father?"
"He is a scientist. He made me."
Ulquiorra stares at his cuffs again. So this is why she is like him. She is a robot.
"I am an artificial life form, but only because no sexual intercourse was required to create me," she continues. "Other than that I am a fairly normal shinigami. I cannot wield a zanpakuto, but that is all right, because I have other weapons."
"What is an example?"
"I have many different alterations at my disposal. Most of them are defensive, but I have some offensive options, as well. Such as this." She raises her left arm, which has suddenly - surprisingly - become a drill.
"Does it work?"
In answer, the drill begins to spin ominously.
"I have seen enough."
The drill disappears, and her arm has returned. "Your alterations are very interesting," Ulquiorra offers.
"They are."
There is silence in the cell, as they look at each other. Still disbelieving. A deadly robot and a heartless killer. In many ways they are the same.
When they kill, they do not mind killing. It is as normal to them as anything else. They have many weapons at their disposal. They answer to a lord. They do not smile.
And that is the most important thing. Never has Ulquiorra - never has Nemu - discovered someone who shares their indifference.
It is so new to both of them.
Nemu gets up and leaves. She does not look at Ulquiorra. She will not be back, but he will remember her, and she will remember him. It is impossible to forget those who are like you, they are thinking, no matter how fleeting the contact is.
A/N: I hope it was enjoyable, no matter how short it was or how ooc...leave me a review and tell me it didn't suck? Thanks. -Nanao