Well it has been a veeeeeery long time. And to those who haven't just joined this story will no doubt have noticed how I have slyly changed the name from '50' to '40'. It's just I only have one finished story on my page and I love this one and I just wanted to finish it or I know I'll be annoyed about it for the next billion years. I knew I wouldn't have enough material (my imagination has unfortunately been draining recently – I blame the internet) for another 11 chapters so I just decided to finish with one. But to stop you all from hating me completely I have put in more than one pickup line. Thanks to everyone who has ever read/reviewed/followed/favourite this story and has the patience to still come back and read the last chapter. Hope you like x

They woke up the next morning to the sound of Peter vomiting into his cauldron. He stared at his sick through blurry eyes for a moment before rolling back onto his head with a groan.

'Mate, you owe me two sickles. I said you wouldn't be able to hold down that Firewhiskey,' Sirius murmured, his eyes half open the beginning of a smile appearing on his face.

Peter just groaned louder. Sirius and James laughed before moaning themselves. 'My head,' James complained. 'What even happened last night?'

At this point Remus was also awake and sitting up. 'Never again, never again.'

'We only get the celebrate finishing our OWLs once and personally, I think the night was quite successful.' Sirius grinned.

James raised an eyebrow, 'I don't think I saw any of you last night, so who was it then Padfoot?'

'Charity Burbage, snuck out with a few other fourth years-'

'Oh yeah I saw Regulus last night actually,' Moony interrupted.

Sirius nodded, 'Oh yes he was a vital part in my choice. Charity's a muggle-born, kissed her right in front of him. Oh I wish I saw his face, I only saw the back of the bastard as he left.'

'So you kissed her just to get to your brother? Nice.' Moony muttered.

Sirius threw a pillow at him, 'She was throwing herself at me anyway, pissing that Slytherin lick-arse off was just a bonus.' He stretched and grinned at the memory, 'I wish you heard the line I used on her. First time it's worked.'

'What?' James laughed.

'Ok so I took her by the hands, looked her right in the eye and – with a completely straight face mind you – said "So girls call me 'Argumenti', because every time they hear my name they get wet."'

James and Peter burst into laughter and Remus joined in despite of himself. 'She must have downed a bit too much mulled mead to have swallowed that dragon shit,' James laughed.

The resulting laughter caused Peter to vomit again into his cauldron. He wiped his mouth.

'I think I'll go to the bathroom,' Peter muttered, pulling back his blankets and getting up.

They watched him stumble out of the dormitory when Sirius suddenly spoke up, 'Ok Moony, I know occasionally you get the urge to rip of your clothes and turn into a furry little hairball but it wasn't a full moon last night and you usually wear pyjamas. So tell me – are you completely naked under there?' He nodded to the blanket.

Remus frowned down at himself and pulled up his blanket. He spluttered 'Wh-aa-aa – I don't – How – Oh shit yeah.' He then looked up, 'I have decided nudity would be a more comfortable sleeping arrangement.'

'Oh really?' Sirius raised an eyebrow, 'And you just happened to make this rational decision after a night in which you consumed your body weight in Roz's finest rum?'

When he mentioned Rosmerta, Remus blushed. James laughed, 'It's to do with Rosmerta! What did you do?'

'I just – eh – no. It's not very important. I think I'll join Wormy in the bathroom if you'd excuse me.'

The two boys looked at each other with wide grins. They jumped out of bed towards Remus'. Sirius kneeled on his bed and grabbed his shoulders from behind, pulling him back onto his bed, 'Oh no, we want to hear every word.'

James stood in front of them, arms folded, an expectant grin across his face.

Remus slowly raised his head, his blush has deepened to a red similar to the Gryffindor rubies and his tired eyes darted quickly to James, then to Sirius who was now sitting at his side. He sighed and looked at the floor.

'I mmmnnnn mnnnmmmn mmmm. And that's what happened.' Remus mumbled quickly.

Sirius punched him on the shoulder, 'Could you repeat that? I think we missed the part about you doing something.'

Remus sighed again, 'I may have said something to Rosmerta.'

'I'm going to assume the topic was one other than what beverage you were ordering?' James asked with a grin.

'It's Sirius fault!' He burst out. 'I overheard him talking to Charity and it worked out well for him so…'

'Wait, wait, wait. You used one of my pickup lines on Roz?' Sirius grinned widely and slapped him on the shoulder, 'You're the first to attempt such a deed. Good on you Moony, a drunken act worthy of Godric himself.' Sirius couldn't meet James' eyes as he struggled hard not to laugh.

'So what happened?' James asked, striving to keep a straight face.

'I swagged on over to her, you know so confident and – oh Merlin I don't even want to repeat it.'

His two friends urged him on loudly.

'I said,' Remus swallowed and continued quietly as though afraid others might hear, 'I've been whomping my willow thinking about you.' He then groaned amidst his friend's' uncontrollable laughter and put his head in his hands.

Sitting on the floor, leaning against his bed and staring at Remus, James brushed away a tear of mirth. 'But Moony, I think you may be missing something…' he said slowly while Mooney waited apprehensively, 'you haven't told us where your clothes are.'

Sirius looked like he had died and gone to heaven, it just got better.

'I was hoping the first half of the story would distract you…ok I'm going to tell you once and promise me you'll never bring it up again. Promise?' Remus looked seriously at each of them.

'Oh we solemnly swear,' James said with a hand on his heart.

'YOU DIDN'T BANG HER DID YOU?' Sirius suddenly shouted excitedly.

'Yes and I let her keep all my clothes as a token of the wonderful night we had together. No doubt she has them framed and hanging behind the bar at this very moment,' Remus said sarcastically.

James snorted in amusement.

'No. As she didn't respond particularly enthusiastically, I decided to up my suave-ness. So I thought, what could possibly be more suave than a pick up line? And the answer appeared to me through a hazy fog of Firewhiskey and rum – get naked. Seemed so logical at the time, I mean what mature and beautiful woman wouldn't look at a skinny naked teenage boy and think "oh dayum I would most certainly enjoy hitting that"? And so I waited until she went back to the stock room as I still had the tiniest hint of common sense left in my brain telling me that doing it in public would be a bad idea, and yet I rationalised following her naked into a dark room while she was alone would be met with instant attraction and arousal on her part.' Remus rolled his eyes. 'Of course any sober idiot would be well aware how she would react – she screamed, disarmed me and chased me up the road screaming curses that I miraculously managed to dodge – probably due to how I wasn't capable of running in a straight line. And so I am left naked and wandless and I will have to return in the imminent future to retrieve my wand and hopefully my dignity.' He sighed and lay back down on his head, moaning.

James and Sirius were still laughing by the time Peter arrived back, looking marginally better but his mouth twitched, a rat like characteristic that gave his emotions away, he was anxious. Hoping to divert the unwanted attention away from him, Remus brought it up. 'What's wrong Wormy?' Then he noticed the blood-red envelope in his hand, 'Oh no, who's that from?'

'Lily.'

James immediately stopped laughing and whipped his body around to face Peter. 'Lily? Did you say Lily? Why is she writing to you?' He glanced at Sirius and coughed. 'Uh that's cool.' He sat back down but darted another look at the envelope in his hand.

'I bumped into her in the common room and she wanted me to deliver it, she charmed it so it only opens for you,' Peter handed over the envelope which James had to struggle not to snatch it out of his hand.

'A howler is it? I bet she's a howler,' Sirius smirked, winking at Peter.

'Sod off,' James glared at him, fingering the envelope.

'Well go on, open it. We're going to hear it anyway even if you leave the room.'

James looked at it a moment longer before it started smoking, he quickly ripped it open-

'JAMES POTTER LAST NIGHT WAS THE LAST STRAW! I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE A BIG-HEADED, IDIOTIC TOE-RAG BUT I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE ALSO A SEXIST PIG. HOW DARE YOU COME UP TO ME AND SAY "DO YOU WANT TO COME TO THE SHRIEKING SHACK – WE SHOULD DO SOME SHRIEKING OF OUR OWN" I BET YOU AND YOUR MINIONS WERE LAUGHING ALL ABOUT IT WEREN'T YOU BECAUSE YOU THINK IT'S SOOOO COOL. I'VE TOLD ALL MY FRIENDS ABOUT THIS SO DON'T EXPECT ANY LUCK WITH GIRLS IN FUTURE AS IF ANY OF THEM WOULD BE DESPARATE TO GO OUT WITH YOU. NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN.'

The letter burst into flames. James stared blankly at its ashes. He kneaded his forehead with his knuckle. 'I forgot I said that.' His voice sounded small and even Sirius knew not to laugh.

'Well at least it didn't arrive in the Great Hall,' Lupin tried to sound optimistic.

'She was going to do that but she told me she didn't want the teachers overhearing,' Peter replied.

'Oh.'

Sirius clapped his hands together, 'So Wormy we have all described our stories of woe and on my behalf, celebration, so now it's your turn. What did you get up to wormiest of tails?'

'Got pissed.'

'Ah,' Sirius looked disappointed in him and shot a look at James. 'James, I have a few lines that might be able to win her back.'

'I don't think I'll be taking advice from you any time soon,' James muttered.

'James, hear me out! I'll give you a few and if you don't like them, fine. These are a few beauties that I have yet to whip out and will gladly bestow them on you in the winning over of Evans.'

James sighed. Sirius took that as permission to proceed.

'Have you been using the PetrificusTotalus spell? Because you're making me stiff.'

'I can't see that going down too well to be honest.'

'Ok, ok, I have more – she was just Myrtle before I came along.'

'I'm thinking no.'

'Tough crowd,' Sirius muttered, 'You know Platform 9 and 3/4? I can think of something else with those measurements.'

'No.'

'That would work better with a wink.'

'No.'

'It's an innuendo.'

'I realised.'

'For your dick. An innuendo for your dick.'

'Sirius!'

Sirius rubbed his hands together, 'Ok think we'll need to change tactics.'

'We're not doing anything.'

'My love for you burns like a dying phoenix.'

James paused and glanced at Remus, both had their eyebrows raised, 'Not bad.'

'You like that?' Sirius questioned miraculously.

'Keep it coming.'

Sirius rolled his eyes, 'Now you want my help. Ok how about.. "are you using the Cruciatus Curse because you're torturing me!" I quite like that one because she has been torturing you pretty much since first year.'

James paced the room, nodding and thinking to himself. 'Ok men. Operation Get Lily's Forgiveness is a Go.'

'Not again,' the three boys moaned.

So really not sure if you'll like it but I really hope you do! So this is the end and to repeat myself thank you so much everyone for reading!

I will now shamelessly mention that I am on tumblr (thegolden-rule) and will welcome followers which I of course will follow back. If you have no interest in following me it is quite ok and ah, if any of you have/are going to use these pickup lines I would really enjoy hearing about the reaction you were greeted with!

Thank and buy x