A/N: This was quite a project. I meant to get this up yesterday, but holiday festivities didn't give me a lot of writing time. Happy Holidays everyone! I guess you could consider this little beauty a special gift from me to you! I decided to put together all three of my favorite pairings, plus my favorite crack pairing, PLUS a pairing that one of my friends says that there isn't enough fluff of out there. You're welcome Eperimental Protocol.

It was quite a challenge keeping everyone in character, seeing as I only ever write Byakuya and Renji's characters. . Mainly ByaRen but also includes YumIkka, ShunUki, UraIchi, and GinKira. The timeline is impossible, seeing as I added in Gin and Kira for my friend, but oh well. Enjoy! Reviews are love!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Bleach. Tite Kubo does. I just toy with the characters a bit.

Renji Abarai raced through the Seireitei, falling snow stinging his eyes, an excited grin plastered on his face. The sixth division lieutenant cradled a small bundle close to his chest protectively, every once in a while catching a nearly nonexistent whiff of something leafy. Renji had made plans for the strange twig he held out of sight the moment Urahara had told him the tradition behind it.

"What are these supposed to be for?" the red-haired shinigami had asked, digging through a new shipment of white-berried foliage.

"Ah, so you have never heard of mistletoe?" the blonde shop owner said, pulling out his fan and waving it in front of his face.

"What?" Renji asked, raising an incredulous brow.

"Mistletoe," Urahara answered, snapping his fan shut and using it to point at the plants in the other man's hand. "It's a tradition around this time of year in the Living World to hang mistletoe around the house. If you and another person are caught standing beneath it at the same time, you get to share a kiss."

"A kiss . . ." Renji murmured to himself thoughtfully, the wheels already spinning in his head.

"And not just a small peck either," the perverted ex-shinigami smiled suggestively, wiggling his brows. "A full on lip lock with the special someone of your choosing."

"How much?" the fiery lieutenant asked, a determined look crossing his face.

"How much ya got?"

The three sprigs of mistletoe pressed tightly against Renji's body had cost him enough that he would not be able to buy that new pair of sunglasses he wanted, but it was worth it. As soon as he got to his destination he would . . .

BAM!

Renji watched in dismay as the mistletoe flew from his arms and landed a few feet away in the snow.

"Ow!" Yumichika Ayasegawa cried from a snowbank, Kira Izuru helping him to his feet. "Watch where you're going, Abarai! The snow does nothing for my complexion!"

"Sorry, guys," Renji apologized, picking himself up and scrambling to find the dropped twigs. "Guess I was in a hurry."

"What are those?" Kira asked, pointing a finger at the plants that the other lieutenant was trying to collect.

"Uh . . . you see . . . these are . . . uh . . ." Renji stammered, scratching the back of his neck.

"Mistletoe!" the narcissistic fifth seat practically squealed, placing his hands on either side of his face in excitement. "Wherever did you get these!"

"What are they for?" the blonde man asked in confusion. Yumichika leaned over to whisper in the other shinigami's ear. After a short explanation, Kira's eye's grew wide and a deep blush worked its way across the bridge of his nose. "Oh," he mumbled, turning his head away to hide his flushed face.

"You must give us one!" the feathered fifth seat sang, clapping his hands together.

"Well, I guess all I really need is one . . ." Renji mumbled to himself. Before he could answer, Yumichika snatched two out of his hands, handing one to a still blushing Kira.

"Thank you, Renji! We owe you one!" And with that, he was gone, racing off to the eleventh division barracks.

"Th-thank you," the third divison lieutenant bowed before taking off in his own direction.

Renji frowned, shoving his last sprig safely in his sleeve. At least he still had one. He could still do what he had set out to do. Double checking to make sure the mistletoe was safe, he flash-stepped away.

"I'm hoooooome!" Yumichika called in a sing-song voice, stepping into his quarters and looking around for his roommate.

"Why do ya sound more energetic than usual?" Ikkaku Madarame asked, stepping out of the bedroom to look the peacock up and down. "You get a haircut?"

"No, of course not," Yumichika flapped his hand in a dismissive gesture. "I have a gift." He held out the white and green plant as if it were on a golden platter, eyes sparkling in anticipation. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

"A stick?" Ikkaku questioned, crossing his arms and leaning against the door frame.

"It's not just a stick," the orange clad shinigami pouted, holding it above his head and winking. "I've told you about this. It's mistletoe."

"Ah, that's mistletoe," the bald third seat grinned mischievously, stepping forward to pull Yumichika closer, pressing their bodies together.

"Uh huh," Yumichika giggled, holding the mistletoe directly above their heads. "And it seems as if we are both standing beneath it."

"Well, then, you know what we gotta do?" Ikkaku growled, burying his face in the junction between his lover's neck and shoulder, nibbling on the tender flesh until the other man gasped.

"Mmhm," Yumichika hummed, capturing Ikkaku's lips with his own. The wild shinigami complied hungrily, roughly pulling the black-haired man closer to the bedroom, only stopping when his back hit the doorframe.

Yumichika pulled away briefly, running a finger down Ikkaku's jaw line and whispering one word before being devoured once more.

"Beautiful."

Kira Izuru paced outside the third division office, clutching the sprig of mistletoe close to his chest, a worried expression on his face. He paused for a moment, raising his hand as if to slide the door open before drawing it back and continuing to walk back and forth.

"Ne, Izuru?" he heard a voice from inside the office. "Are ya gonna keep pacin' out there or are ya gonna come in?"

Gulping and taking a deep, shaky breath, Kira slide the door open and stepped inside. Gin Ichimaru sat perched on the edge of his desk, looking over what appeared to be official documents.

"I . . . uh . . . b-brought you something, Ichimaru Taichou," the nervous lieutenant stammered, holding the mistletoe tightly against his chest and staring at the floor.

"Hm?" the fox-faced captain hummed, cocking his head to the side and holding out his palm. "What'd ya get?"

Kira quickly placed the twig in Gin's outstretched hand, a violent flush attacking his cheeks. The smiling shinigami considered the plant for a moment before bringing his attention back to his smoldering lieutenant.

"Mistletoe?"

Kira nodded.

"Do ya know what it means?"

Another nod.

"I s'pose ya want ta steal a kiss, don'cha?"

The third division lieutenant opened his mouth as if to speak, but instead settled for nodding again, causing Gin's sinister smile to soften. The silver-haired captain beckoned for Kira to stand next to him, which he did.

"Whatcha waitin' for?" Gin questioned, placing one hand on the blonde's head and using the other to hold the mistletoe over both of them.

Hesitantly, Kira leaned up and softly placed his lips over his captain's. Gin moved his hand to the back of the other's neck and pulled him closer, gently rubbing circles into his nape.

After a moment, Kira pulled away, a faint smile playing on his lips as Gin's arms encircled him in a tight embrace.

"Want another?" the grinning shinigami asked, wiggling the mistletoe above their heads.

Kira nodded.

Renji finally made to the office he shared with his captain. Catching his breath, he reached into his sleeve, running over the plan in his head.

First he was going to discretely hang the plant somewhere in the office. Then, he was . . .

The volatile lieutenant paused in his thoughts; eyes growing wide as he frantically searched his shihakusho for the remaining twig. It was gone.

"Damnit!" Renji seethed under his breath, smashing his fist against the doorframe. All of his planning, ruined, because he couldn't keep track of one stupid plant.

Dejected, the tattooed man decided that there was nothing more that he could do except forget about it and get to work. He slide the door open.

Kyouraku Shunsui strolled through the Seireitei, leisurely taking his time trudging through the snow. He held a small branch with white berries in his hand, examining it in disinterest. He saw the sixth division lieutenant flash by him in a rush, leaving this twig behind. It really didn't seem like something to be interested in, but the pink-clad captain picked it up anyway.

After some time walking, he finally made it to his destination. Sauntering past the servants without even a second glance, he headed for the master bedroom.

"Yare, yare," Shunsui sighed in mock exasperation as soon as he opened the door. "Can't seem to stay out of trouble, can ya?"

Jyuushiro Ukitake rolled his eyes from his place under the covers, "It was only a small attack. I do not see why Retsu keeps making me bed-ridden."

"It's 'cause she cares, Jyuu," the lazy captain said affectionately, removing his straw hat and taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

"Of course," the white-haired man sighed, reaching out to take the other's hand, but instead, discovering the small plant. "Shun? Why do you have this?" he asked, pulling it out of the other captain's grip.

"Not sure," Kyouraku shrugged. "Found it on my way here. Know what it is?"

"Yes, I do," Jyuushiro smiled, twirling the branch in between his fingers. "It's called 'mistletoe'. Humans us it as an excuse to exchange kisses during the holidays."

"Kisses, eh?" the eighth division captain smirked devilishly, "How does it work?"

"You hold it above your head like this," the sickly man answered, raising the hand holding the mistletoe over his head. "And any two people who end up below it have to kiss."

"You mean like this?" Kyouraku asked, moving closer so that their bodies touched and placing one hand on either side of the other man so that they both sat below the mistletoe. He then leaned forward, pushing a heated kiss onto his lover's lips. Jyuushiro wrapped his arms around Kyouraku's neck, dropping the branch onto the cushions.

The brown-haired captain pulled away suddenly, staring at the one beneath him with a raised brow.

"What?" the frail man questioned.

"It's not above our heads anymore," Kyouraku teased, glancing at the forgotten mistletoe, then back at his lover.

"Perhaps I should tie it above my bed?" Jyuushiro said thoughtfully, a wide smile creeping across his features.

"Perhaps you should," Kyouraku chuckled, leaning in for another kiss.

"Oi, Urahara!" Ichigo Kurosaki called from the front room of the Urahara Shoten, digging through a box of branches covered with white berries.

"Yes, Ichigo?" said ex-shinigami replied, appearing out of nowhere.

"What's this box of mistletoe for?"

"It was shipped to the wrong address," Kisuke shrugged, pulling a twig out from the box, and dangling it in front of Ichigo's face. "Managed to sell a few to Renji though, so they aren't that useless."

"Ah," the substitute shinigami frowned, "For a second there, I thought you were going to get into the festive spirit."

"Oh?" the shop owner smiled, pushing down his striped hat, "Do you want me to get into the festive spirit?" He wiggled the mistletoe above his head, snapping his fan open and winking suggestively.

Scowling, Ichigo rolled his eyes. Kisuke just stepped closer until he was towering over the student, angling his head down invitingly.

"Pervert," Ichigo murmured, looking up to meet the blonde man's gaze.

"Mmhm," was all Kisuke could manage before the ginger snaked his arms around his neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss. The tall shop owner pushed Ichigo against the wall, the brown-eyed teen sliding down and pulling him with until they sat on the floor, the older man straddling the other's legs.

They finally pulled away, Ichigo gasping for air while Kisuke chuckled, nipping lightly at the ever-scowling teen's neck.

"I wonder if Renji got what he wanted out of the mistletoe," Ichigo mumbled, before capturing the perverted shop owner's lips once more.

"Is there something wrong, Abarai?" Byakuya Kuchiki questioned, setting down his brush. "Your reiatsu seems to be quite unstable."

"Sorry, Taichou," Renji said, taking the time to reign in his spiking reiatsu. Even after he decided to forget about the whole mistletoe incident, he couldn't help but feel frustrated by his failure.

"Why are you so distracted today?" the noble asked, getting right to the point. The volatile lieutenant thought for a moment, wondering how much he should reveal to his captain. Being a man of less thought and more action, he quickly decided to just spill everything, starting with his visit to the Urahara Shoten.

Byakuya calmly listened to Renji's story, adding in an, "I see," wherever necessary and raising a brow in amusement at the explanation of what mistletoe was.

"So, you are saying that you wanted to give this . . . 'mistletoe' to me as a gift?" Renji nodded sheepishly, fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve. "And what was I to do with it after you had given it to me?"

"Well, uh . . . I was hopin' that you would . . . ya know . . ." the red-haired lieutenant said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"I am disappointed in you, Abarai," Byakuya stated calmly, standing and making his way over to occupy the space next to his miserable lieutenant.

"S-sorry, Taichou," Renji stuttered, looking at his feet, "I didn' mean to offend you."

"You should certainly know better than to think that you need such a gimmick just to get me to kiss you," the steel-eyed noble said affectionately, using a pale hand to pull Renji's gaze away from the floor. "You could have just asked me directly."

A wide grin spread across the younger man's face, erasing the nerves completely as Renji pressed his forehead against Byakuya's. "Kiss me?" he whispered into soft skin.

Byakuya gladly complied, parting his lips and pulling his lieutenant and lover closer until there was no space left between them.

Absently, between intoxicating kisses and light caresses, Renji wondered if anyone found a use for the mistletoe at all.