Okay everyone it's been way too long since I've put a story up and I deeply apologize. Right now ideas for "Best Friends Means Friends Forever" are slow, which means I'm taking time off from it. But the idea for this story came to me one day and it all just started pouring out. I kinda used it as a therapy for myself. For those of you reading, thank you and please review!

Disclaimer: I ONLY OWN MY IMAGINATION!

Save me I'm lost

Oh Lord, I've been waiting for you

I'll pay any cost, save me from being confused

Show me what I'm looking for...

I sat in the passenger seat of my mom's Chevy silverado, leaning my head against the window. In the side-view mirror, I could see the U-Haul transporting all of our stuff behind us, being drove by the movers my mom hired. I didn't exactly want to move, but I guess when I stop to think about it, it really couldn't hurt. Looking out the window, to the surrounding land, I saw nothing but green – everywhere. Trees, Trees, and more trees. I was actually surprised that the road we were traveling on was paved.

After about another hour of driving, we came into a small town. A road sign read 'Crowley Corners', but to me it read 'Hillbilly Hell'. In town we passed a small cafe, a convenient mart & gas station, and a few other buildings. My mom kept driving on the same road, and about a mile out of town we passed what I assume to be my new high school. It was bigger than what I imagined a high school in the middle of nowhere would be. My mom took the next left and then after passing a few houses scattered out along the way, she pulled in the driveway of a two-story white house. I had to admit that it had a certain charm about it. When she put the truck in park, I hopped out, combing my fingers through my long blond hair.

I turned around to shut the truck door when I saw something, well someone, that literally took my breath away. She appeared to be my age, and was riding bareback on top of a white mare following closely behind an older guy, presumably her dad, riding on a black mare. My eyes traveled from her boots and up her long tan legs, only covered in a pair of cut-off short jean shorts. My wondering eyes continued raking over her well built upper body, hidden by a tight black tank top and finally to her face, where my blue eyes met the most beautiful pair of blue-gray eyes I had ever seen. She raked a strand of chestnut colored hair out of her eyes while never breaking eye contact with me. As the horse continued on, she was forced to look away from me but my eyes followed her and I took note of all those beautiful curls of hair, falling down to the middle of her back.

Reluctantly I looked away and turned to go inside. Our new house has three bedrooms; mom says one is for me, one is for her, and she is turning the spare into a guest bedroom, not like we'll be having any guests anyways. Our living room is pretty spacious and so is the kitchen and dining room. I walked up the stairs into the room that is to be mine. My room is the biggest of the three, and has my own bathroom attached. Walking in my bare room, I notice a sliding door on the far side. I walk over and open it, stepping out onto a small balcony that overlooks a piece of land and a small creek running along the outskirts of it.

The view would be quiet remarkable for someone who enjoys that sort of thing. But to be honest, I haven't felt much emotion of any kind since I was sent into the hospital. I haven't had a need to show emotions since then. I stopped trusting people after what happened and I completely shut myself off from anyone and the ability to feel anything. Sometimes I wish I could just have a friend and set my trust issues aside, especially after seeing the gorgeous girl on the horse. I want to get to know her, I can't explain it, but I have this feeling inside of me like I'm meant to know this girl. But I doubt that's going to happen, seeing as how I can't trust or open up to anyone.

I sighed and left my room, going back downstairs to show the movers where my things go. Everything was all moved in by late afternoon. My mom had unpacked and put away the food and cooking utensils and was currently downstairs cooking supper. I was hanging up my clothes and putting some into drawers when my cell phone beeped, signaling a text message. I looked at my phone seeing that it was from Oliver, my best friend before the incident.

'Hey Lilly I'm worried about you, I haven't heard from you in a long time. Please let me know you're okay, I'm still here for you' – Ollie

I shut my phone, mad at myself for not being able to trust myself or Oliver enough to text back. He had been a great friend. He had fought for me and stood up for me. He came to my house everyday after what happened, although I never told him how truly depressed I was, and when I was in the hospital, he was there to see me for the weekly visit I was allowed. After I got out of the hospital and the doctor put me on some medicine, I stopped wanting to be around anyone. I quit calling or texting Oliver. Whenever he came over, I wouldn't answer the door or I would tell him I didn't feel like having company. I was a complete jerk but yet he still texts me from time to time, telling me he's still here for me. My medicine was recently switched so that I no longer feel like a total zombie, but my trust issues are still there.

From below me, I hear my mom calling my name, letting me know that supper is finished. I hung up the jeans in my hand and ran downstairs to join her at the table. The only thing that hasn't changed about me is my appetite, I still love to eat! Mom made me a plate and I sat down opposite from her and started eating. I looked up from my plate to see my mom watching me and she let out a sigh.

"Lilly, you start school in two months, please try to make some friends," she said.

"Doubtful," I replied, shoveling another bite of food into my mouth.

My mom sighed again, "Lilly you have a chance to start over and make friends that didn't know you before."

I swallowed a bite before answering her, "Mom, what good is it to have a friend if I can't trust them? If I made a friend, I would think it would only be right to trust them enough to tell them I'm gay, and after what happened... Mom I just can't. I can't face that possibly happening again."

"I promise you, Lilly, that I will not let that happen to you again," she said.

"You couldn't stop it the first time, you can't stop it from happening again," I said a little harshly.

My mother looked at me with sorrow-filled eyes, "I know, and I'm truly sorry. But you are gonna miss out on something great by shutting yourself off to everyone."

I finished eating and went back to my room to finish putting my things up. I finished unpacking my computer, movies, and books around midnight. I laid down on my bed and sighed in relief to be finished with everything. My mother's words found there way into my mind and replayed themselves over and over. I had a feeling she was right, if I didn't find some way to trust people, I would miss out on something great. I pulled the covers up around me and quickly fell asleep, too tired to change into pajamas.

AN: Okay so here is the first chapter. I am currently working on chapter 9. All of my chapters for this story will have lyrics in them that somehow tie into the chapter. Lyrics from this chapter are "Show Me What I'm Looking For" by Carolina Liars. Thanks again, R&R!