Only Human

Psychic Detective Yakumo

Chapter Eight: Epilogue ~Only Human~

~One Month Later~

Haruka dashed out into the freezing winter air and tore through the crowded corridors of the university with a multitude of heavy textbooks piled high in her arms. She weaved around students and professors alike, apologizing as she went, narrowly avoiding disaster with each step she so swiftly took. Her breathing was uneven and shallow, proof of her rapid haste and exertion. She swallowed and shifted her weight as she ran, hoping to keep a firm grip on all of the expensive books she was carrying.

"Haruka-chan! W-wait up!" cried Miki a few steps behind her, trying to keep up with her speedy friend. Haruka mounted the giant cement staircase, her heels clacking like a horse's hooves on the cool pavement.

"I want to get a good table at the library, Miki! I have a lot of studying to do for all the exams I missed!" Haruka grit her teeth, focusing on the stairs her feet currently mounted because it was nearly impossible to see past the stack of books that were looming dangerously over her head.

"I understand that but-" Miki broke off to take in a long breath. "Wait just a second, will you?"

Haruka impatiently obliged and looked back at her out of breath friend, not in the mood for chitchat. Haruka shot a nervous glance around the campus, growing more and more uneasy by the second.

"Jeeze, Haruka-chan. You shouldn't be this fast. You just got out of the hospital not two weeks ago!" Miki shook her head at her, resting her palms on her knees. Haruka felt slightly guilty. She hadn't meant to drag her friend so selfishly along with her, but she didn't want to risk going all the way across campus by herself. She might run into—

"Something happened between you and that jerk, didn't it?" her friend slyly interjected with a delicate raise of her eyebrow, as if she had read Haruka's mind. Miki straightened her posture and took a slow step toward her friend. "I know you, Haruka. Ever since you've grown close to him, you'd take every chance you got to visit that guy. The only reason you'd be dashing off to the library so fast after classes is because you're avoiding him. Am I right?"

Haruka inertly thought back to the day in the hospital when he had finally found his way to her. She'd literally poured her heart out and told him of her feelings for him. Haruka's face heated instantaneously as she recalled the events in vivid detail. Miki had hit the bull's-eye with her theory. Haruka had been, in fact, avoiding him for the past week or so. She hadn't seen him since she was released from the hospital and she refused to visit, finding every excuse possible not to go. It was childish, really. Haruka knew that trying to evade the one she loved solely because she feared rejection –among other things- was not the adult thing to do.

"I-I-I-I'm not avoiding anyone!" Haruka stubbornly insisted, despite the fact that she'd been caught. "I told you, I've fallen dangerously behind in my classes. If I have any hope of passing, I need to study." Haruka deftly turned her back on Miki and headed back up the stairs, determined to pick up the pace and get to the library with or without her friend. "Besides, there's no reason I would be avoiding-"

The heavy stack of books Haruka had been clutching suddenly crashed hard into something solid and she cried out, losing her grip on nearly all of them. She struggled to regain her balance as a multitude of them crashed to the floor, skittering to and fro across the stairs. A pair of hard green eyes met hers, belonging to none other than the one she had been avoiding all this time, standing just a few steps in front of her.

"…Yakumo…"

The sudden urge to bolt surged through Haruka like a thousand volts of electricity and she swallowed hard, instantly breaking eye contact before she did something stupid, like listen to her urges. She stooped over to retrieve her fallen books, trying to ignore the fact that her face had turned into a shade of red that was so vibrant, she would have given tomatoes a run for their money. "Sorry I was just …. I mean, uh … I … Sorry," stuttered Haruka. She shot a quick look behind her, hoping Miki would save her somehow, but discovered that her friend was not there and had probably run off as soon as she spotted Yakumo. That traitor.

Haruka took in a breath and reluctantly looked back up at Yakumo, who was regarding her with a clouded expression. "H-how are you, Yakumo-k-kun?" Haruka planted a bright smile on her face, knowing that it was impossible for him not to notice how uncomfortable she was now. Just as she suspected, Yakumo's expression didn't change. Instead, he handed her a bright red textbook that she had dropped and exhaled quietly.

"You do know that there's no way all of these will fit in the club room, right?" Yakumo questioned in a cool voice, a voice that Haruka had secretly been yearning to hear for weeks. She resisted shivering, knowing that she was under his intense scrutiny and he would surely catch any slight movement she made. She automatically focused on his left eye, which was slightly obscured by fringes of his dark hair. Haruka imagined the intense color of his red iris, hidden underneath a contact lens, and took in a breath. His dark eyebrow shot up ever so slightly, indicating that he was expecting an answer.

Haruka's cheeks once again tinted red and she bent to pick up another book in order to distract herself. She nervously pushed a strand of her pink hair behind one ear, wondering how she could possibly give him a coherent answer when she couldn't even remember how to speak properly. "A-actually, Yakumo-kun, I was heading toward the library. I have to study."

When he didn't respond, she stole a glance up at him. He had a slightly amused look on his face, as if he had seen right through her. "Really. Well, you are aware that the campus library is in the complete opposite direction, right?" Yakumo deadpanned, seeing directly through Haruka's lame excuse.

Haruka froze and she finally took notice to the stairs on which she currently stood. Her eyes traced each step all the way to the top and she realized with a gut-wrenching jolt that he was right, and she was heading in the direction of the club room. She knew that she must have headed this way out of sheer habit, because not once did she ever venture anywhere else but there after classes. Haruka suddenly felt very awkward, not knowing how to proceed. She knew she'd been caught, by Yakumo nonetheless, and she had nothing left to do but simply explain herself.

Yakumo was staring at her, waiting patiently for her to speak again. The memory of Haruka's angry confession rushed back to her with blinding speed and Haruka took an involuntary step away. She pursed her lips, wishing that she could disappear and not have to tell him that she was avoiding him after all and she simply couldn't face him because she knew the impending rejection was bound to happen as soon as she did.

"Right…" Haruka nervously said at last. "I knew that. Of course. I was just meaning to… well…" As soon as she met his eyes, she was locked under his penetrating stare and all of her resolve flooded out of her like air escaping a balloon. She opened her mouth, but her voice would not come to her. Dark images of him coldly turning down her affections and stalking away from her haunted her, further fueling her hesitation. Her heart was clenching and constricting so painfully in her chest at the mere thought of it that she was sure she wouldn't be able to bear living through the act of it. Haruka bit down on her lip again and clenched her books tighter to her aching chest, clinging to them like her very life depended on it.

"I should … I should go," she stammered, realizing a second too late that her voice had broken several times and completely gave her away yet again. Before she could stop herself, she turned on her heel and prepared to bolt down the steps from whence she came.

"Haruka."

The way he spoke, his arm may as well have reached out and latched around her wrist, because she stopped dead in her tracks as if he had. Haruka wasn't used to hearing Yakumo address her by her first name, a habit he picked up ever since their meeting at the hospital, and he voice was filled with something she could quite identify, something other than annoyance or boredom. Haruka gasped and spun around to face him once more. Yakumo hadn't moved. He stood completely still with his hands resting leisurely in his pants pockets and he was still watching her. His mouth was set in a hard line, but he was not impatient with her, like she would have been if she was in his position.

What are you so afraid of, idiot? Haruka found herself wondering. He knows how you feel about him. The hard part is over. What are you waiting for? Haruka swallowed hard as a long moment of still silence drifted between them, broken only by the sound of the brisk winter wind. She blinked, suddenly feeling tears well behind her eyes. Before her was the boy who'd been through so much with her, the boy who'd risked his life to save hers without hesitation, the boy who'd never given up on her, even when others had.

"What you do to me … what you cause me to think … the hold you have over me, it's terrifying."

Yakumo has said that to her, she reminded herself. He'd spoken up and voiced his feelings to her, and she was pushing herself away from him because of a childish, idiotic fear. But even if he rejected her, her feelings wouldn't change or even grow weaker for that matter. Nothing could change how she felt and no matter what the situation was, she wasn't going to push him away any longer.

The mass of books Haruka carried tumbled out of her arms as she stepped forward without hesitation and folded her arms around Yakumo's still body. She heard him exhale softly in surprise as she pressed the side of her face into his chest.

"Sorry, Yakumo-kun," she whispered, clenching her fingers around his shirt.

"Ah," he verbalized softly and placed his hand atop her pink head. "I wondered when you'd stop being such an airhead."

He idly noted that she was over a head shorter than him, something he had never taken notice of before. She was small and she fit perfectly against his broad chest. Her face was warm, as well; he could feel her skin through the fabric of his shirt. Haruka pulled away, her face tipped downward in girlish embarrassment. She was blushing faintly and her bottom lip was caught under her front teeth. The scars on her face were visible, even under the mass amount of makeup she must have applied in order to conceal them, but they didn't diminish her appearance in the least. They proved to him that she was alive; that she had survived everything she had been through, that she was not weak.

Yakumo said nothing as she stooped for what had to be the umpteenth time to retrieve her now-battered text books. She held them gingerly and balanced the weight of them on her arms, knowing she couldn't afford to drop them again if she wanted to avoid paying a damage fine. She met his eyes then, giving him a sheepish look. It wasn't hard for Yakumo to decipher what she was thinking.

"You really do have to go to the library, don't you," he guessed smugly, raising a lazy brow at her, like the previous events had not transpired at all.

Haruka brushed a strand of flyaway hair back behind her ear and nodded once. "It would be best if I go. I really am behind in some of my studies." She shot him another awkward glance, suddenly embarrassed. "Would you, ah, come with me? Since Miki abandoned me and all … it would be kind of pointless to go alone."

And it would be getting dark soon, Yakumo added internally. The thought of Haruka crossing the campus by herself in the dark, completely susceptible to anything out there, made him prominently uncomfortable. He was most definitely not having that.

Yakumo said nothing and merely held out his hands for her to give him some of the books she carried. Haruka took that as a 'yes' and handed him a few, greatly relieved to know that he would be at her side, even though she couldn't quite bring herself to admit it.

-X

The library wasn't as packed as she expected, but she did recognize several students in her classes scattered about the tables, immersed in work of their own. A few waved at her and she nodded back at them in acknowledgement, scouting out an empty table far away from prying eyes. It had been so long since she and Yakumo had been alone together and she didn't want people eavesdropping on any conversations they might have. Finally, they spotted one in the back corner of the library and they immediately dumped the large stack of books onto the surface, relieving themselves of their burden.

Haruka sighed in relief and plopped down into the chair closest to her and Yakumo followed suit. She unpacked all the studying essentials she had brought with her about the table, leaving nearly no surface area open. Yakumo raised an eyebrow at it all but didn't dare say a word. Haruka laughed awkwardly in apology as she shuffled through several sheets of paper, all covered in her scraggly handwriting.

Not ten minutes after she had gotten settled and had set to work, Haruka abruptly realized she needed additional information for the test she was studying for. She glanced at Yakumo, currently seated directly across from her, and smiled warily even though he wasn't looking at her.

"I'll be right back," she informed him and stood up, holding a pencil and several sheets of paper in her hands.

"Ah," he replied, appearing to be bored out of his mind. He yawned and cupped his face in one hand, absentmindedly leafing through the pages of some worn history textbook.

Haruka hesitated uneasily, feeling slightly guilty. "You know… it's fine if you don't want to stay. I'll be ok here-"

"No," Yakumo interjected, turning a page in the book. "It's fine. I'll stay."

Haruka didn't argue against him, since the tone of his voice indicated that there was nothing she could say to get him to move from that spot. Haruka stood there, completely silent for several seconds before she realized she had been staring at him like a brainless idiot. She immediately turned away and headed down an isle of books before he could catch her at it.

Her fingers traced the spines of the books resting on the shelf that held the book she desired, softly muttering to herself as she searched for it. She knelt down to check its title scribbled on the wrinkled paper she held when a large section of hair fell free from its hold behind her ear and obscured her sight. She pushed it away, and yet another piece flew free. She exhaled sharply and slapped both hands to her sides. It had been almost four months since she last trimmed her hair and it had significantly grown quite a bit. It covered the entire back of her neck and her bangs were too long to really be called bangs anymore. Frustrated, she rummaged around inside her purse for a rubber band she kept there for emergency purposes. She tied it back in a tight, albeit small, ponytail and pinned her bangs back with two barrettes she had also found.

There, she thought. See if any pesky hairs bother me now.

Haruka found the book she had been searching for not long after and made her way back to the table, only to find that Yakumo was absolutely still, his forehead resting on his arm while his free hand cupped the nape of his neck. Haruka softly set down her book and leaned close to him, supporting her weight on her forearms. She listened for a moment and sure enough, she made out the measured sounds of his slow breathing, a sure sign that he actually was fast asleep. Haruka took hold of her pencil and began to prod his arm gently with the eraser.

"Yakumo-kun…" she whispered breathily, leaning closer. "Yakumo…"

He stirred finally and Haruka drew her pencil away, yet she made no means to move any farther away from him. He looked up at her, exhaustion clearly evident in his eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were so tired," amended Haruka in a guilty voice. "We could leave now if…" she trailed off, noticing that he hadn't blinked once since he opened his eyes. Color tinted her cheeks as she slowly began to realize that he was staring directly at her. She began to wonder if he had somehow managed to fall asleep with his eyes open when he sat up and rubbed his face with the back of his arm.

"You can see your face that way. It looks better like that," he told her quite nonchalantly, as if he didn't just give her an indirect compliment that caused Haruka's body to freeze and her breath to nosily catch in her throat.

"T-thank y-you," Haruka murmured nervously as she settled back into her chair, her face utterly red. Yakumo had already turned back to the book he had previously been looking through by the time she had mustered up enough courage to look back at him. She turned her attention back to her studying as well, even though her mind forbade her to concentrate on anything but Yakumo and his unexpected compliment.

-X

It was about an hour later when Yakumo realized that Haruka had fallen asleep among a pile of books and papers at the table, a worn pencil still in her hand. She had been studying silently for so long that he honestly didn't notice she was asleep until he looked over at her. Yakumo checked his watch. It was about six thirty and it surely would be freezing and pitch black outside by now. He exhaled softly and sat back in his chair, regarding the girl with careful eyes. Her shoulders rose and fell as she breathed and he could barely make out the motions of her twitching eyelids, indicating that she was dreaming.

"Oi. Wake up," Yakumo ordered loudly, not caring one bit that he was currently inside a dead silent library. The girl didn't even flinch. He sighed and placed a hand on his forehead as he watched her sleeping form. "What am I going to do with you…" he muttered under his breath, sighing once again.

-X

Haruka woke up with a start when frigid winter air hit her directly in the face, chilling her to the bone. She shuddered hard, despite the fact that she was pressed up against something quite warm. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she blinked several times, curious as to why the library had gotten so dark and cold so suddenly. It was then that she realized that she was no longer inside the library. She was outside. And Yakumo was carrying her on his back, his arms locked underneath her kneecaps. She lifted her head from its place on his shoulder so rapidly that she nearly tossed herself off of him.

"W-wha…? Y-Yakumo-kun, what are you…"

Yakumo stopped walking and looked at her from the corner of his eyes, appearing slightly put out. "It's your own fault sleep better than a rock. The library was closing. I figure you'd prefer this to being dragged out by your ankles."

Her face instantaneously heated to a degree that could boil water. She'd barely heard what he'd said; she was too preoccupied with the fact that Yakumo Saitou was carrying her like a child that weighed no more than a sack of potatoes. Their unnervingly close proximity made her head swim and bubble with a hundred emotions threatening to spill over all at once. How could he be so relaxed about it all? Did carrying a once-sleeping girl who had professed her love to him not so long ago not bother him in the slightest? Haruka was panicking. She would have bet her non-existent student budget that he could feel her heartbeat, and that thought only caused it to increase its pace tenfold within her chest. The fact that he hadn't put her down yet didn't help matters much, either. Not that she was complaining, though. Being held by him like this was quite comforting.

"H-h-how long was I asleep?" she stammered, desperate to distract herself from the tumultuous thoughts roiling through her head.

"Long enough to leave drool on my shirt," he responded casually and resumed walking.

Haruka gasped and hastily wiped at the corners of her mouth, only to fine that both sides were dry and drool-free. "I do not drool!" she exclaimed angrily, wishing that she wasn't blushing as badly as she was.

"Then why did you waste the time to check?"

Haruka's azure eyes widened ever so slightly as a wave of déjà vu crept up and washed over her. They had already had a conversation similar to this, she realized. Back before she had been kidnapped, when everything was so different. Haruka smiled softly and rested her chin on Yakumo's shoulder, her arms comfortably clasped around him. Nothing had changed between them though, she thought. Yakumo was still Yakumo and she was still Haruka, even though the two of them had matured for the better with everything the two of them had been through this past month.

Her smile slowly faded from her face as her thoughts turned down a more serious path. "I never thanked you for saving my life," she told him quietly, her voice no louder than a whisper. He'd surely heard her since her face was so close to his ear, yet he took his time to respond, conflicted with the thoughts the roiled in his brain that materialized as soon as she spoke those words.

"I didn't save you, Haruka," he finally said, his voice containing shades of both anger and sadness, something that only Yakumo could manage and still appear composed on the surface.

"That day … it was you who approached Aiko. It was only you. And you were the first person I saw after I woke up in the forest. You were there. It's only because of you that I'm alive, Yakumo-kun." She paused, feeling something cold wash over her, and it wasn't the chilling winter wind.

"I wanted nothing more than to see you so I could tell you that… I just stared out that window silently praying you would come so that I wouldn't lose my chance to tell you that. And I'm not afraid! I've never been so fearless in my life. I don't even care if you feel the same way about me. Aiko took away my fear…"

The memory of what she had said to him that day in the hospital came back to her and hit her like a cold slap across the face. She had told him she was no longer afraid, and even so, she went out of her way to avoid him because of senseless, stupid fear. She had the urge to kick herself for being so stupid and selfish. "Yakumo… I'm sorry for avoiding you all this time. I was afraid and I shouldn't have been. Please forgive me," the words flooded out of her like air escaping a punctured balloon. She felt heavy after saying them aloud, for they only solidified how angry and frustrated she was with herself.

"What did you have to be afraid of?" he asked her, honestly curious to hear her answer being as it was blatantly obvious it took so much out of her to say it. For a split second he feared that he had finally gotten under her skin and terrified her at last, like all the others before him.

Haruka buried her forehead into his shoulder blade as if she couldn't bear to face him. "I was afraid you were going to reject me," she mumbled. He detected the shame she had failed to hide in her voice and instantly, he felt all of his composure leave him.

"So that's what all of this was about…" It was such a simple thing to fear, really. It was so simple that Yakumo wanted to laugh at it. Of all the things she had to fear, she had chosen to be afraid of how he felt, when she of all people should be the least worried about that. It was so like her to be scared of something as ridiculous as him rejecting her. It was so like Haruka that is practically screamed how normal she was.

During Yakumo's inner musings, Haruka had grown quiet. He sensed that she was still uneasy about something, and just as his sharp eyes slid her way, she began to speak again in that familiar, modestly embarrassed tone.

"Yakumo… what do you think of me?" Her question hung in the air for a long, peaceful moment and before he had taken notice to it, he had stopped walking in order to fully grasp the question she had just asked. He had often wondered this same question to himself on many occasions and had never fully gotten an answer.

"I don't know," he responded honestly. "I don't particularly dislike you," he added after a split second of consideration, hoping that the first comment wasn't taken too harshly.

"You're lying!" She retorted heatedly, as if she had entered a territory she could not back away from. "Even if I'm wrong, I know that there's something you refuse to tell me. Please, just be honest and give me the truth. You know how I feel, and I think you've known for a long time. But it's time for you to tell me what you're thinking. Please."

Yakumo's eyebrows furrowed in frustration as his heart and his brain warred with each other within him. He knew that she was right, as she often was with him, the direct result of all of the time they had spent in each other's presence. He was becoming just as easy to read as she was. His instincts told him to clam up and keep his mouth shut in order to protect himself because not one good thing has ever come from speaking his mind. On the other hand, how could he refuse what the girl asked of him so honestly and desperately? She had never once given him any reason to suspect that she'd betray him or even intentionally do him any wrongs. Through his past, his mistakes, everything, she was still standing beside him, like she always had been and most likely always will.

"Haruka," he began, once again addressing her by her first name, a habit he could not seem to break. He inhaled slowly, gaining his composure second by second, carefully trying to figure out how he should word his thoughts. "I'm only human. All of this is basically new to me. I honestly don't know what to think about you. I simply know that it feels like you have always been by my side, and I can't remember what it was like when you weren't there."

Haruka's eyes had widened as the boy who diligently carried her spoke, sounding so sincere that she dared not even breath, fearing the slightest movement she made would disrupt him. She hung onto each word, trying to absorb them all, as her brain insistently reminded her that Yakumo was the one uttering them. Her heart was beating with the pace of a hummingbird's wings, preparing to shoot right out of her chest.

"So … remain by my side," he added, hesitating only slightly. "Don't leave it again," Yakumo finished in an insistent tone that bore only desperation and uneasiness.

Haruka was finally able to close her mouth as her brain wrapped around the words he just spoke and endlessly repeated them over and over again inside her head.

Remain by my side… remain by my side… remain by my side…

Her stomach fluttered and her heart hammered, making her dizzy with the combatting emotions of happiness and elation. She found herself to be so touched by his words that tears welled into her eyes, causing her to tremble. "Always," she promised genuinely, unable to keep the slight warble out of her voice.

Yakumo set her down as soon as they both realized that they were in front of her apartment complex and it was time for them to part. Haruka gazed up at him with wide, faraway eyes that held so much promise and contentment he had no choice but to look away. Haruka leaned in and planted a gentle, yet swift kiss on his cheek before stepping away, blushing like mad. Yakumo, still having enough in him to be surprised by her action, could only stare at her with wide, unblinking eyes.

Haruka grinned at him. "I'll see you tomorrow, alright? After all, the cases are sure to be piling up by now." Yakumo's face had changed colors, yet Haruka refused to belief that he was self-conscious. No, Yakumo didn't blush. It wasn't like him. The slight pinkness tinting his cheekbones was due to the exertion of carrying her all the way across campus without stopping. Yes, that was it.

"Ah," he verbalized, the only indication that he had heard what she had said. Haruka turned heading toward the stairs that led up to her apartment number.

"Haruka," Yakumo stated before she could reach the first step. She turned and looked over her shoulder at him in mild confusion. He wasn't looking at her now, but there was no doubt in her mind that he was speaking only to her. "Thank you," he said at last, his voice barely audible.

Haruka blinked, surprised at his sudden comment. "Ne…? What for?" she queried, earning nothing but a small smirk in response. With that, Yakumo turned and disappeared into the shadows, making his way back to the university.

Perhaps one day he'll tell me, Haruka thought with a smile lighting up her face as she made her way up the slim staircase and into her apartment.

Until then, I'll patiently wait.

-X

A/N: That's the end, guys. The official finale. Thanks for sticking with me this long and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. It seemed fitting that I should end this on its one year anniversary, even though it's two days late. I hope you'll forgive me for how long it took to update this. I had a really, really hard time writing this and constantly went back and forth with the scenes I wanted to include or not include.

It. Is. So. Hard. To. Keep. Yakumo. In. Character.

I hope I did him justice. Trying to get him to say how he feels is like pulling teeth and I hope he was still in character.

So what do you guys think he was thanking Haruka for? I too would like to know, hahaha. If you think you have an idea, I'd love to hear it.

Thanks to all of you who reviewed, added this to your favorites and subscriptions. I appreciate it all. Any questions, comments, concerns, please voice them in a review. I look forward to hearing each and every one of your opinions, even if it's not a good one.

Have a happy and safe holiday, everyone! Until we meet again, I love you all~! Stay safe and warm!