Hopefully it wasn't a big deal that I used a characters last name like I use in the last half of this chapter.
If it is, oops.
"So I wait for you like a lonely housetill you will see me again and live in me.
Till then my windows ache."
― Pablo Neruda
"You washed the sheets?"
"Just the one I wet."
We forgot about the alcohol and walked straight to Kakashi's apartment. It wasn't really intentional but we were both exhausted. I washed a sheet and it seems like he had an emotional day. The first part of the chunin exams is over and the second part is a month from now so I know he won't be around much.
The whole walk over I did my best to keep his mind off of whatever happened earlier today. I kept Coco around for a bit and was my goofiest self just for Kakashi. The whole time it felt like it was just the two of us walking even though the streets were still packed with people.
As soon as we arrived we both bathed alone and cuddled up in bed engulfing ourselves in pitch black darkness. I thought I would get tired of sharing a bed with Kakashi by now.
"Well, it's a good thing this is just a thirty day trial."
"Very funny."
I wrapped my legs around his thigh and snuggled against his chest. "Did we ever even agree on the start date?"
"I don't remember… let's just say today was day one."
"Today shouldn't be day one… lets wait until the chunin exams are over since I know you won't be around so much since you have to train…"
There was a silence.
Kakashi squeezed me against his body and said, "You know that is most likely how our relationship will be…"
"Oh.. you're right…"
I couldn't help but think of Ishiko's warning.
"All jokes aside… I need you to really see if you want to spend your life with me… The life of a shinobi partner is not suited for everyone… in addition to all of the time I will be in and out of Konoha, your life is also on the line. If someone wants to hurt me, they will come after you if they can't get to me."
He's right… I am the weakest link right now even compared to his little genin. I can't fight or run as much as I used to… What am I going to do? I really just am going to be a burden. This is a mistake.
"You were a shinobi Hisako. Out of anyone you should know that every single person in your life is at risk no matter how skilled they are."
My body began to shake and my eyes were burning up with pent up emotions.
Kakashi gently pushed me away from him, stood up, and turned on the light. I sat up but before I could get accustomed to the light he was already sitting directly in front of me with his face inches from mine. I don't know when he had time to cover his face but all I could see was his eyes. I couldn't help but lower my head. His eyes weren't ominous or stern… but all i could feel is shame.
"Hisako… look at me."
"I am looking at you."
"In the eyes."
No more hiding, no more hiding… remember?
I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. All I could see was, once again, concern. Is he starting to question this as well?
"If we are going to do this... I need you to have faith in us."
I continued to regulate my breath in order to not break down and just nod without breaking eye contact.
"If not, at least have faith in me and trust me that no matter what I say, I am not trying to hurt you. I'm trying to prepare you for what is to come throughout our relationship… or the next thirty days… if you chose not to stay."
It's time to be brave, Hisako.
I reached out for his hand, squeezed it and managed to stammer, "B-but I…"
Don't you dare start crying.
"I want to stay with you."
"Then have faith in me. The less you show me you do the more I wonder if I should have any in you."
Kakashi was right.
I fought every muscle in my body that wanted to stumble into that bathroom and cry. I never thought words could hurt so much but... Kakashi has every right to feel that way. I have given him nothing to believe in other than cuddles, jokes, and drunken kisses. I wouldn't trust any of that either.
"I promise that in these next thirty days, I will prove to you that I have faith in us."
His eyes closed and he lowered his forehead and let it rest on mine. I smiled and relaxed. "I just have one request…"
"I can't promise to make you orgasm as intensely as last night."
I laughed, fell back on the bed, pulled Kakashi's hand so he would follow. "I can see that humility really is one of your finest traits but no…"
This time his head was on my chest and I was petting his poofy silver hair. "Everyday that you can, make it home in time for bed. Even if I am sleeping, sneak in, wake me up, and cuddle with me… that's all I'm asking."
"I can only promise to do my best."
I snuggled my face in his hair and engulfed myself in his scent. This is probably the last time we will get to be like this for a very long time. "I'll take what I can get."
Kakashi chuckled and I felt his clothed lips kiss my stomach. He stood up and went towards the light switch. Before I could even get comfortable, Kakashi was back in bed.
I snuck myself back into his one armed embrace and snuggled my face under his chin.
"Hisako, I wish you would just tell me how you feel instead of making me read about it in your journal."
"What are you talking about weirdo?"
"That chapter you made me read in your journal. All you had to do was tell me that you were absolutely infatuated with me. I didn't to know the details about your old sex life."
I completely forgot I let Kakashi read that. What in the world was I thinking?
"Don't flatter yourself, Kakashi. You just happened to pop up in my head in the middle of sex."
"There is no use in trying to deny it. I knew your journal held your true feelings for me."
"That I wanted to have sex with you? That doesn't mean that I had feelings for you. All it meant was that I was a horny teenager who happened to have a thing for authoritative figures. It could have been anyone but you happened to be the only authoritative figure around that time."
"Then how did we end up together in bed after all that time?"
"It's simple. You snuck some kind of love potion in my tea not so long ago."
Kakashi sighed, "You see right through me Hisako. A prime example of how wonderful our schools produce top rate shinobi."
"Well if that's not it…"
I slipped my legs around his waist and pushed my way on top of him. I sat on his pelvis and rested both of my palms on his chest. "Then maybe this is my way of beating you. I knew I would never be able to beat you in combat but when it comes to the ways of what is in between our legs… I had enough books to master that."
As his warm hands made their way up from my thighs to my buttocks, I followed his lead and leaned forward so my face would be right up against his. The only thing I could see was his sharingan glowing in the dark, a comforting sight.
I leaned in for a kiss and in return he licked my nose.
"Augh… Kakashi."
His whole body shook as he laughed.
I tried to push myself away from him but he moved his hands from my butt to my mid back and held me against his chest. "Is this part of your plan to seduce me, Hisako?"
"No," I continued to try to wiggle out of his arms but it was no use. The only thing I could manage was to get my hands away from his chest and towards my sides but it was no use. I was still stuck. "It's part of my plan to beat you, not seduce you. The alcohol has gone to your head."
Kakashi leaned in, kissed my forehead, and squeezed me. "As entertaining as this is, we should go to bed."
I lifted my hips and maneuvered my hand into his briefs. "Well I'm not tired anymore." His body stiffened as I began to stroke his shaft. This was the first time I have ever heard Kakashi gasp. Finally, I have the upper hand.
"Hisako.."
Before Kakashi could finish his thought I went in for the kiss and this time I got his lips in return. Our kisses became increased in hunger the harder I felt his penis become after every stroke. His grip around me weakened and his hands moved towards my lower back
"You are such a brat," he whispered.
It has been twenty nine days since I last saw Kakashi.
This makes me want to know if I did something wrong in bed. Did I go too far by... Practically demanding him to have sex with me?
I sighed and lit a cigarette.
I told Hikaru about it last night and he laughed at me. He had been gone for three weeks in on and off missions. Since a lot of shinobi decided to request the month off, Hikaru was ridiculously busy even while he was in the village. He did manage to get the last three days of the chunin exams off just to watch the tournament … hopefully with me.
"Fingering each other doesn't count as sex Hisako, relax."
"But I was so pushy Hikaru…"
"He could have stopped you at any time if he really wanted you to stop."
"That's not the point Hikaru… I should have respected his wishes."
I took a sip of my whiskey and shook my head.
I would feel so much better if he at least came home to sleep. Even Naruto and Sakura didn't know where Kakashi was other than training the Uchiha prodigy.
That's it.
If that was it, then why didn't he at least come home to shower, change, or even just eat? Well not that there would have been anything prepared but I would have made an effort to at least have takeout ready.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jumped. I forgot that I was in public.
"Long time no see Hisako."
I turned around and saw my sweet little Katashi Hyuga. Well he wasn't so little anymore. I stood and he towered over me. I am too scared to ask him how tall he is. Poor guy could barely stand straight in this tiny bar which made me wonder why Hikaru chose this place to meet up with Hyuga.
"Hyuga!" I squealed as I leaned in and held him tight.
I know it sounds odd that I call him by his last name but he was our third partner in the chunin exams since Mai passed on our first round and his name sounded so much like Kakashi's that we just called him Hyuga.
"My baby," I muffled as my face was buried in his chest.
He laughed as he reciprocated the embrace,"You know I really wish you would stop calling me that. I'm only a year younger than you."
I pulled away, took a drag from my cigarette, and said, "Let me look at you my precious boy. It's been months!"
Hyuga rolled his beautiful lilac eyes but his smile stayed on his youthful face. Out of all the Hyugas I have ever met he has the kindest eyes and the most genuine smile. There was nothing cold or unwelcoming about his demeanor other than his height.
We both sat after we got a couple of dirty looks from the servers. "Are you getting taller? Before I know it I'm going to get a neckache just trying to look at your face and what's up with the all black uniform?"
I opened up my box of smokes and placed it in front of Hyuga along with my lighter.
"It's still basic shinobi uniform…" He took a smoke, lit it, and took a drag, "It's just black."
"It brings out your eyes so I assume you did it to make it easier for girls to hit on you."
His cheeks flushed, "Hisako, quit it. If anything you're the one that should be called out…"
I took a drag and clenched my teeth which caused smoke to escape through my nostrils. I am just not a pretty sight right now. My smoking could be a reason why he hasn't been back. I grabbed my cup and finished the whiskey I had left.
Hyuga put his cigarette down in the ashtray in front of us and stood up. "I'll bring you another one, it looks like we are here for the long haul. After all, Kakashi?"
I could tell he was judging me with his sweet little smile.
"I can explain."