The light breeze blew through the pale pink buds of the trees, the pastel flowers, daffodils and tulips, swayed on their stems, and the sun shined vibrantly down on it all, bright rays sneaking through the glass windows. A delicate hand extended in the suns path, disrupting the straight line and causing an amazing sight. The hand reflected the light across the room, the skin looking as if dozens of multi-faceted diamonds had been embedded there. It was gorgeous, stunning, and amazing, something not everyone ever got the chance to see.

The sun's warmth radiated across her hand, causing the granite hard and cold skin to heat up slightly. The feeling was enjoyable, soothing and calming. But she didn't fail to see the abnormality of it and she pulled her hand away, tucking it close to her chest, cradling it there. With a quiet sigh she ducked her head down, touching the tips of her fingers to her cheek, noting the warm feeling. The slight temperature change wasn't something she would have normally been able to recognized, had she not been what she was; a vampire.

It had been four quick years since she had left behind her previous life as a human, and it all seemed like a blur. An excruciatingly difficult, pivotal, lesson learning four years that just flew by. There had been so much she had needed to learn, so much she had forced herself to change, cases where she had to go against the grain of what was instinctual for what she had been transformed into. The months hadn't passed unscathed and she had had her fair share of slip-ups, but there was one defining person that had remained Esme's rock through it all.

Carlisle. Esme was positive, had Carlisle not been there, she would have given up, begged for death to come a second time. He was the one that had saved her, offered her a chance in this second life. He was there when she needed him, comforting her when she had taken the blood of a human, convincing her it was alright, even though she knew it wasn't. Carlisle fought hard to keep her safe, out of temptation's way, willing to do whatever her newborn self had needed. He was kind, caring, intelligent, and patient. And Esme would be lying if she said he wasn't gorgeous. With pale blond hair that was swept away from his face, warm, brilliant, topaz eyes and a discretely toned, tall physique.

Thinking about him caused imaginary butterflies to flutter in her abdomen, her head to spin, and had she had the ability her skin would have surely flushed. The feelings she contained were alien, nothing she had ever encountered before, however, she had an inkling idea of what it all was. It was something she had read in various novels, reading as authors explained and described it; love. Yet, the writers gave it no credit, the feelings and thoughts behind it all, it was so much more what they wrote. She knew; she loved Carlisle.

Her face fell as she declared her feelings toward Carlisle in her mind and she shook her head slightly, a thin strand of her caramel hair falling across her face. She crossed the room, easing herself into the cream colored love-seat and crossing one of her legs over the other. Her hand came up to tuck the escaped hair behind her ear and then went to rub her slightly prickling eyes. Had she been human the salty tears would have been filling them, threatening to escape.

Human life was a had-been. Something of the past, an experience that would forever be a memory. Human life had held nothing for Esme in the end, and that was how she had happened upon the life she lived now. But she didn't leave that life scar free. She had been married and it had failed. Esme was convinced that she had done something wrong, that she was the factor that had caused it all to fall apart, and she was convinced that this life wouldn't hold anything for her. She wouldn't love as Carlisle had explained to her years ago the way their kind would. She was tainted and undeserving, yet she was, without a doubt, falling for the one person that kept her here.

Carlisle deserved someone more, she continued to tell herself when she would have these little breakdowns. He didn't deserve someone that couldn't offer herself to him completely. Esme had been previously taken from another man, she had messed it up. Carlisle didn't need that. The sweet, giving doctor of humans should be loved by and love someone that wasn't scarred and bruised, tainted. Esme longed to be that, craved to be the one that could offer all he needed, and she knew she couldn't.

A barely audible and pathetic sob broke free of her chest in defeat, the would be tears prickling her eyes ferociously. She knew she didn't have long before she would need to recover from her meltdown and realization, he would be home soon.