Notes from the School Notice Board

A/N: Firstly, I would like to say that I'm not dead, which is fairly evident but nonetheless.

Secondly, I would like to apologise for the long silence. There will be further updates up for TWiBaW at the very least, which is currently being worked on.

Pairings: nopedotavi

1. - Please do not molest Ms. Inoue. Quite aside from the fact that such behaviour is highly inappropriate, we are running out of funds to replace the windows every time Ms. Arisawa throws someone out of them.

1a. - This goes double for you, Ms. Honshou. Claiming to check for squishability is not a valid excuse.

2. - Weapons are not permitted in school.

2a. - This includes swords of any description, knuckle dusters, knives, nunchaku, blackjacks and Tasers.

2b. - We don't care if they're ceremonial or not.

2c. - This now includes wooden bakkoto outside of kendo practice sessions.

2d. - As of the Shirt Incident, needles are now also included on this list outside of sewing club. Whilst you may be the president of the club, Mr. Ishida, this does not give you permission to string people up to the ceiling.

2e. - The fact that they insulted your dress sense and ruined your clothing is not an acceptable excuse.

3. - Suplexing someone is not a 'reasonable response' to anything.

3a. - Neither is breaking their nose.

4. - As from the start of the new term, we are now requiring doctor's notes for sick leave.

4a. - Parents are not permitted to write out doctor's notes for you. Even if they are doctors.

4b. - We can recognise your handwriting, Mr. Asano. Don't even bother.

5. - Explosives are not permitted in school.

5a. - Even if they're made out of innocuous ingredients. Especially if they're made out of innocuous ingredients.

5b. - Flour is now banned outside of cookery classes. (How did you even manage to make that much of an explosion, anyway?)

5c. - Ms. Inoue and Ms. Matsumoto are forbidden from attempting to cook Super Special Chilli Breadcakes again, ever.

6. - Ms. Ochi is taking a brief leave for the sake of her sanity. Please treat your substitute teacher with the same degree of respect as you would any other teacher.

6a. - Running out of the room screaming about insane clown scientists invading the school does not constitute 'respect'.

6b. - Following further inquiries into Mr. Kurotsuchi's background after some serious allegations of threats from the students, we have hereby suspended him from teaching until further notice. The school formally apologises for any trauma suffered.

7. - Ms. Matsumoto, we must insist that you adhere to school uniform rules. The students are having enough issues concentrating as it is. Please refer to the handbook for details of 'minimum skirt length'.

8. - Further window breakages will cause money to be deducted from the Judo club's treasury. Refusal to own up does not suddenly make it free.

9. - To whoever put the cameras in the men's changing rooms, please stop. Mr. Ishida is getting paranoid about the clowns again.