A/N: I don't own the 'verse of Firefly or Serenity, but I do on occasion like to play in it.

This is just a oneshot between Mal and Inara, inspired by watching Firefly back to back lately. It takes place after the movie, Serenity. Well technically it takes place AU right after the last showdown fight but before they take off from Miranda in that rebuilding montage.

Inara dipped the soft sea sponge in warm water steeped with herbs and wrung it out, gently dabbing at the myriad of cuts and abrasions on his back. His muscles flinched but the Captain made no sound. "Shhhh," she said anyway, cool hands skimming across the surface of his skin, urging tired muscles to let go and relax. "It won't be but another moment."

It was like to make her weep, seeing him beat up so, but her face gave no sign of it. She did her crying for him in private, in the darkness of her shuttle. Inara finished cleaning and dressing his wounds, wondering why he had come to her rather than the doctor when it seemed to pain him so to be around her at times. Whatever the reason, she was glad to be near him, to be able to help him in this small way.

Inara ran her hands carefully over his broad shoulders spreading comfort and warmth. She'd been trained by experts in the art of massage among many other things to please a man. But she put something more into it; willing him to feel her emotions through the movement of her hands. He gave a sigh of relaxation and inwardly she sighed along with him. "I'll leave you to rest now." Her voice was barely above a whisper as she allowed herself a final soft touch, fingers ruffling the hair over his ear.

"Don't go…"

The sound came out more groan than words and Inara wasn't sure if she'd heard him correctly at first, but then he made an ineffectual effort to swipe at her hand, his fingers closing on empty air.

Pausing in a rare moment of uncertainty, Inara covered his hand, lacing her fingers with his. How long they remained like that, her soul reaching for his as their hands intertwined, she never knew. But gradually the slow, deep rhythm of his breathing told her that he slept and she gently disentangled herself. "Sleep well, ài rén." Her lips brushed over his temple in the ghost of a kiss.

Mal awoke in a pool of satin. A makeshift pallet had been laid out on the shuttle floor from one of the other passenger quarters; Inara had felt more comfortable in the bare shuttle, even with only the scant possessions from the forgotten trunk to fill it. He'd scarcely had a moment to look around when Inara arrived, arms laden with a tray of food and tea.

"Is this what you do for your clients?" He sat up with a groan, looking over the tray and sniffing the fragrant tea with interest as she set it on the thin mattress.

"The clients that show up on my doorstep beaten within an inch of their lives? Yes." She said mildly, kneeling beside him and laying a woven napkin against his lap.

Mal's battered face clouded, clearly affronted by her choice of words. "I wouldn't say it's as bad as all that…"

"Wouldn't you?" A delicate arch of the brow was given. "Have you taken a look in the mirror lately?"

Mal blinked. "Well… no, I don't suppose I have. Hey…that reminds me," he looked up at the bare ceiling of the shuttle. "I always wondered if you would have mirrors on the ceiling and such. Is that common?"

Another joke about her profession. Why had she thought anything would be different now? Inara fixed him with a tight smile. "Not especially. This is not a brothel, this was my home."

"And the distinction is?" He gave her a pointed look, taking a sip of the tea, but setting it down in favor of the delicacies she'd prepared, popping one into his mouth whole.

"One of the reasons why I left," she retorted.

"Why did you leave?" Mal's voice was light, but there was a hint of gravity in his gaze.

"We both know why." Inara couldn't meet his eyes, busying herself with refilling his cup of tea even though it hardly needed it.

"I surely don't," he blinked, the food forgotten.

"I'd rather not do this right now." Rising gracefully, she smoothed her hands over her skirt, brushing out imaginary wrinkles.

"When then? After you're gone again? Will I get a shiny new wave from you, or better yet, one to the whole crew telling us all how happy you are to be back home?" Special emphasis was given to that last word, and she could tell he was bitter over that word choice. So… she wasn't the only one that quibbled over syntax.

"Are you saying I don't have the right to be happy? To find peace and tranquility?"

"Since when did peace and tranquility ever equal happiness? Might as well turn your toes up now, that's the way you dream of happiness."

"Not all of us aspire to a life of crime. Some of us prefer to work an honorable profession," she returned loftily.

An inelegant snort left his lips but Mal bit back his initial response with an effort. "Never seemed to bother you before. Some might even say you liked it. Participated on more than one occasion as I recall." He gave her a knowing look, satisfied he'd made the point.

Inara's cheeks flushed and it took her a moment to regain her composure in the face of his small victory. "I… bent the law a time or two," she allowed, "but I've never gone out of my way to break it the way you seem to."

Mal looked at her long and hard, uncharacteristically silent. "So that's what you want? An honest man? Someone prosperous and law abiding as the day is long in his fancy shoes?" He waggled his fingers in the direction of his feet.

Fancy shoes? Where did he get these notions? Perplexed over his shift in topic, she shook her head slowly. Inara had no intention of settling down with anyone. Companions did not do such things outside of the confines of a contract; that was the crux of the matter. "Whatever gave you the impression that I would settle down with a man?"

"Then it's ladyfolk that sets your sails these days?" A lopsided smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

A roll of the eyes was given. "I am not going to discuss this with you. If you're feeling better, perhaps you should go." Inara went to the door expectantly, dropping her gaze. They always did this. It was impossible to have a conversation with the man that didn't disintegrate into petty squabbling. It wasn't something she was proud of, but he seemed to bring out the worst in her.

"Sorry to have troubled you." Mal cleared his throat, lurching to his feet and tugging on his shirt with a wince.

"Here, let me help you with that." Inara started towards him the moment she realized his discomfort.

"I can manage…"

"Don't be a child," she scolded him lightly, tugging the material free of his hands and helping him into it despite his objections. Inara came to stand in front of him, nimble fingers attending to his buttons. "There now," she adjusted the collar, brushing lightly against his skin, "you're almost presentable." A faint smile tilted her lips.

"Didn't mean to be." His hands closed over hers, trapping them against his chest as she started to pull away.

Inara swallowed past the lump in her throat. "Mal…"

"Why's it got to be so hard between us?" His voice was earnest, naked of its teasing lilt for once.

It was hard to look up into those eyes, but years of training afforded her the ability to maintain her façade of tranquility while inwardly she trembled at his touch. "Some things just aren't meant to be."

"Says who?"

"It's complicated and you know it."

"So hows about we simple things up right quick?"

She couldn't imagine what that might mean to his way of thinking. "Mal…"

"I'm in love with you." Mal interrupted matter of factly.

"I know."

His jaw twitched. "That's all you got to say to me?"

"What do you want me to say? That I love you too? You want me to swoon and fall into your manly arms? What do you think will happen? We fly off together into the black and raise fat babies to be space pirates?"

"Well… yeah." He gave her a crooked smile.

Tears stood in the corner of her eyes because god help her but she wanted those things too. She could just see them raising a family on the raggedy edge of space, a son with Mal's devilish glint to his eyes, his carefree laughter echoing through the ship's corridors. Or a precocious little girl, braids flying as she followed Kaylee into the engine room to ask a thousand and one questions. She would never be scolded for skinned knees or mussed hair as Inara had been growing up at the training house. A child to raise on love as she was never loved, to be accepted for who she was and not what she did.

It was so tempting… Dark lashes fanned across the top of her cheeks, moist with tears, she couldn't look up at him. "I can't."

"Why not? Don't tell me you don't care for me, I can see that you do." He captured a fat tear on the edge of his finger.

How could she possible explain in a way that he would understand? "I don't know how to do any of those things with you and still be what I am."

"So? Be something new. With me." Mal brought her hand to his lips and brushed a tender kiss across the back of her fingers.

Her dark eyes came up sharply. If only it were as easy as he made it sound. "You want me to leave everything behind? Everything I've worked for since I came to the children's house on Sihnon?"

"Well, I'd leave everything behind for you but I'm the one with the ship." He kissed her hand again before drawing the pad of her finger against his bottom lip as he pretended to consider. "And were I to leave the noble profession of Captaining then nothing in the verse would be safe from the terrible reality of Jayne behind the wheel of Serenity. In fact, I think I'd sooner see her grounded than handed into his folly." Mal gave a wry twist of the lips. "Although I could get used to those robes, they're very comfortable."

"What you're asking is serious Mal. One doesn't simply leave this profession behind. I would be shunned, stricken from the records and unwelcome in any temple. Were we ever to part I would be left with no livelihood, no connections." Her life's work; gone with a single decision. One that she was starting to suspect… had already been made.

"Well then, best we never part." His lips curved again, before they descended on hers, for once taking his comfort from the woman that he loved.

Her petal soft lips yielded to him instantly, opening to accept him and everything he offered. Months, years of longing culminated in this one moment so full of sharp need that it almost hurt to fulfill it. Inara had kissed countless men in her life but this was her first real kiss. A kiss borne of love and want, all artistry left by the wayside.

This was real.

On and on it went, as though they had all eternity to explore this new thing. Her hands stole up to stroke the broad planes of his back, admiring the play of muscles there until he flinched as her questing fingers touched torn flesh. "Qingwa cào de liúmáng…" he swore under his breath.

Inara withdrew her hands instantly, concern etched on her features. "Ni meí shì bà? I'm so sorry, I forgot, does it hurt much?"

"Yeah, I got beat within an inch of my life, remember?" Mal winced, slowly testing his muscles.

Easing him to a seat, she sat beside him, taking the few moments while he was distracted to marshal her thoughts. To work up the courage to reach for a happiness that had nothing to do with peace and tranquility. "I want to keep my shuttle." She said softly, staring straight ahead. One step at a time; Inara needed her own space, not quite ready to commit to everything just yet.

"I think we can work something out in trade." He chuckled, picking up her hand easily now as if it was something he did every day. His worn calluses traced a pattern over the smooth skin there. "I know I ain't much."

"Don't say that, you happen to be talking about the man I love."

"Am I now?" Mal's smile widened. "Do tell."

"Yes, you are." She replied, a deep glow of happiness coming from her as the long carried heaviness around her heart eased.

"No, I mean do tell… go one about my many fine qualities." He prompted her playfully.

"Oh, I see." A laugh spilled from her lips. "You're… manly and impulsive." She smiled, remembering earlier days.

His lips turned up in a crooked smile. "I am at that. Nice to see you finally noticed."

"Don't go getting a swelled head over it. I may just change my mind and run for the hills."

"I'd follow you."

"You didn't last time."

"I didn't know you were mine to chase." A long sigh was given and she wholly agreed with the sentiment. All that time wasted.

Gently she reached up to turn his face toward hers. Her eyes swept over his beloved features, still so torn up and beaten, wondering at the light she saw behind his eyes. A swell of pride surged within her, knowing she'd been the one to put it there. A pang went through her, now she had so much to lose… "Knowing how we get sometimes, I suppose it needs being said. Were I to leave again I would want you to follow me."

"Were you to leave I would chase after you in a manly and impulsive fashion. I hold onto what's mine."

"You lose things all the time." A pucker of a frown appeared between her brows. "You…" any further was silenced by his possessive kiss.

"I ain't letting you go again Inara. Best you make your peace with that."

"It's the only shred of peace I'm likely to have." She muttered, even as he head came to rest against his chest. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

A/N: So there we go, my first Firefly fic. What did you guys think? Maybe a little sappy, but I think it's a long time coming for these two.

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