A/N: Hi all! It feels like it's been forever since I posted anything now! ... which it probably has. I've been so busy with the holidays and University time just seems like a non-existent thing. Not to mention a huge bout of writer's block I've had. I blame planning and assessment... but hey ho.
I've a christmas one-shot for you here... I got majorly carried away with it, so I hope you don't mind. It's actually a culmination of two ideas I had... The first part of this actually being the original post-ep for 7x10 - but we went down a slightly different route for that one, and the second idea is one that hit me a few days ago and I wanted to really think about it before I put it onto word, so I hope it's okay.
And not to brag or anything - but ONE HUNDREDTH STORY! EEEEEEE!
Hope you guys enjoy this one.
- Laurzz
Manoeuvring around the avid customers, searching for the perfect gift, Danny and Lindsay Messer shared a smile. After being the brunt of numerous scrooge jokes, Mac had sent them packing three hours before their shifts had technically ended, giving them a plethora of time before they even had to think about picking Lucy up.
So rather than head home, tidy the apartment, catch up on paying the bills, making dinner and doing the things at the top of their to-do list, after working their case, they had decided to make a impromptu shopping trip.
With Lucy.
Their reasoning behind it was that they barely got to spend quality time with their daughter, and although neither of them voiced their concerns, both Danny and Lindsay felt that little girl slipping through their fingers. It seemed like two seconds since they were celebrating their first Christmas together as a couple, expecting Lucy... now, they were well on their way to celebrating their little girl's second Christmas, which had them thinking: where in the world had the time gone?
Lucy was nearly two. Two. Two years they'd had a little ray of sunshine filling their lives with happiness, and although they hadn't had the best of starts – they'd managed to build a foundation using what they had – which proved to actually be quite strong.
"Are we going to do presents this year?" Lindsay asked as she glanced over her shoulder as she looked through a rack of festive-wear. "We are, right?"
"What makes you think we wouldn't?"
"Just wondering," she shrugged. "I already sent Santa your present."
"Lindsay... it's the twenty-second of December. I should hope so!"
"And I've had it since the third of November." She grinned.
"What?" he implored. "No freakin' way. No way are you that organised, babe."
She let out a musical giggle as he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her, lifting up off the floor slightly. "I am," she cried. "And you'll never find it either."
"Why? Where is it?"
She tapped the side of her nose before turning in his arms. "Me to know, you to find out."
"Have you seriously already got it?"
She nodded.
"Can I have a clue?"
Pondering about the question for a few moments, Lindsay smirked before shaking her head. "Nope."
"Linds, babe, Montana... come on. You can't tell me you've got me a present and then not tell me what it is... not even a clue?"
"Nope." She giggled. "What do you think about this?"
"Gorgeous," he commented, smiling down at Lucy, holding a finger over his lips as he pulled a face. "Love the colour."
Nodding in agreement, Lindsay held the top up and decided that it would fit. "I'm ignoring you."
"I figured," Danny smirked down to his daughter who's little gloved hand was wrapped protectively in her father's. "Are you seriously not going to tell me?"
"Nope, no intentions of. Jo likes it though... I'll tell you that much."
"Whoa. Whoa... back it up. Jo knows?"
"Yeah," Lindsay giggled. "When we went on our bonding shopping trip she took it home for me."
"So... Jo knows what it is?"
"Oh yeah, she helped pick them."
"So there's more than one." Danny grinned as they weaved in and out of the floods of people around then.
"Yep."
"Okay well it's not what I think or hope it may be."
"What do you think it is?"
"What I asked for on my birthday?"
Rolling her eyes, Lindsay laughed as she forked off and picked up a shirt and tie gift-set. "What do you think of this for Flack?" she asked, holding up a baby blue themed tie and shirt set.
"The tie's too nice, right Luce?." He smirked before pulling Lindsay into his side with his free hand and pressed a kiss to her lips before grabbing an orange and green tie combo. "Uncle Flack would never wear that there. This however... this is more him."
"Baby, that's disgusting... put it down before people see it."
"But Montana, we want something that Flack's gonna wanna wear... blue – he won't wear blue."
"He wore blue last week."
"No, no... this is his true colour... it'd bring out his grey hair."
"Oh you're just screwing with me." She took the box from her husband and set it back down on the display. "I have it on good authority that he likes the ties I buy."
"How so?"
"He always wears them."
"You buy him lots of ties?"
"Two a year for six years." Lindsay smirked. At Danny's wondering expression, she explained. "He made fun of me the second time I bought him one... so I made a point of buying him one for every occasion ever since."
"Seriously?" Danny smirked. "How did I never notice that?"
"Too self involved?" Lindsay smirked.
"You know what," Danny smirked as he pulled Lindsay towards him and pushed her hair from her ear, allowing him to whisper to her. "You're kind of a bitch Lindsay Messer."
Standing on her tiptoes, Lindsay placed a hand on her husband's chest, bracing herself as she whispered in his. "Behind every bitch there's a man that made her that way," She stuck her tongue out. "You love me really."
"A lot actually." He smiled as he took hold of her free hand. "I love both my girls."
"We wub you too, Daddy!" Lucy giggled.
"Daddy, wanna take Lu over to the toy section, I think she's endured enough of Mommy shopping now... see if there's anything else she could maybe add to her list to Santa..."
"I think she's got enough on her Santa list Mommy." Danny scowled at his wife. "Santa's gotta take presents to other kids too, babe."
"Yeah, but I have it on good authority that Lucy is his favourite." Lindsay winked at her daughter.
Rolling his eyes, he shot one last look at his wife before letting his daughter tug him off in search of the toy department; one to which she knew well.
Skipping alongside of her father to keep up with his strides, Lucy merrily hummed a little tune to herself.
"What you singin' there peanut?"
"Wast Christmas."
"Last Christmas?" Danny implored in awe. "What?"
"Wast Christmas!" Lucy giggled as she pointed up to the ceiling to the speaker playing Wham's Last Christmas. "See!"
"How on earth do you know that song?"
"Mommy." She giggled. "Mommy plays it all the time."
"Even after Daddy banned Christmas carols?"
"She plays them even more afters you saided that!"
"Oohh, I need to talk to Santa, Mommy's naughty."
Stopping dead in her tracks, Danny found himself being tugged backwards with her little grasp. "Lu?"
"No," she whispered.
"Lucy? You're in the way... come on, this lady wants to get past us, what you stoppin' for?"
"You said you wanted Mommy on the naughty list... You want Mommy to get coal!" she sniffled.
"No, no." Danny shook his head as he guided his daughter to the side of the walk-way out of the way of the brutal Christmas shoppers. "I was kiddin' peanut. I didn't mean it."
Lucy narrowed her eyes at her father and crossed her arms over her chest, "Daddy time out."
"Daddy is not takin' a time out Lucy Messer." Danny said, desperately trying to hold back the laugh at his daughter's resemblance to Lindsay. It was like he was looking at a younger version of his wife as he got reprimanded. "Daddy's sorry and he'll email Santa tonight and explain to him that it was a mix up."
"I check!" she threatened. "I'll check Daddy."
"Well you can't check if I've got things in the email... we talk about you Lu and you can't be seein' what Santa says, it's top secret."
"You talk about me?" She gasped in awe.
"Every day. Santa checks in every night after you go to bed to make sure you were good all day and whether he needs to make sure his elves are still wrapping your presents."
"He checks every day?" Her eyes widened. "Really?"
"Without fail," Danny nodded. "And when he emails tonight I'll tell him you were extra good today."
"Can I pick out something to send to him?"
"Well Mommy said it was okay, so sure. Why not?"
"Yay!" The little girl jumped up and down before grabbing her father's hand and leading him back into the sea of Christmas shoppers.
Forking off to the left, Lucy held tightly to Danny's hand until she saw the cotton wool displays that indicated they'd reached Lucy's version of heaven: the toy section. In an instant, her little hand slipped through Danny's fingertips as her little snow-boots stuck to the muddy walkway from the remnants of the snow and slush from outside.
"Lucy, walk!" Danny lamely called after her, knowing his demands had fallen upon deaf ears.
"DADDY!" Her little voice distinctly called. "Baby all gone!" she cried as she pulled a box bigger than herself off the shelf. "Oh my gosh, look Daddy! Daddy, Look!"
Smiling at the box he'd wrapped just last night, Danny gasped in awe at the toy she thrust at him. "Wow!"
"Can I send this to Santa?"
"Meh, I dunno Lu, it doesn't look very exciting."
Lucy's little face dropped, "But Daddy, I love her. I love her very much."
"You met her two seconds ago, Lu."
"But I do." She nodded. "I love her."
"Well," he said crouching down to her level. "Can I tell you a secret?"
She nodded and placed the box on the floor as she cupped her hands around her ears, signalling for Danny to whisper his secret to her. "What Daddy?"
"Santa already told me he made his elves make you this."
Watching her reaction, Danny felt his heart race as her jaw dropped. He'd probably get murdered by his wife for spoiling the surprise, but just to see his daughter's reaction filled him with a child-like glee for Christmas that he hadn't felt in years.
"Really?" she whispered.
"Scouts honour," he nodded. "So let's pick something else out."
Nodding in agreement, Lucy watched as Danny lifted the box from the floor and placed it back on it's rightful place on the shelf. "How about a doodle ted?"
Shrugging, Lucy turned her attention away from the teddy Danny was holding up. "Meh."
"Meh?" He said to himself as he placed the teddy back on the shelf. "Okay then..."
He followed his daughter down the aisle, furrowing his brow when she stopped dramatically. "Lu?"
"That," she whispered, pointing ahead of them, "Daddy, I want to send Santa that."
Danny followed the path of her finger and as soon as his eyes settled on the sight of what his baby girl wanted, he felt his heart reside in his throat, and then drop all the way to his stomach.
She wanted a bike. Well, a Disney Princess tricycle with training wheels... but it was as good as a bike.
"You know what peanut, I don't think Santa will have enough room for that on his sleigh this year... maybe next year."
"But Daddy," she turned with tearful blue eyes. "Daddy, I really want a bike."
"Lu, Daddy's saying no, okay? Not this year."
Sniffling, Lucy nodded but went up to the model regardless. She ran her fingers over the pink handlebar and played with the tassels for a moment before turning on her heel and heading off in a completely different direction.
He knew that he had to be on his daughter's tail, but he had to take a second to breathe. Admittedly 2008 hadn't passed his mind for quite some time, but it was still something that panicked him. He'd never really thought about how he felt in Lucy asking for a bike, and it had been completely innocent; and really, considering, he'd coped well. On the outside at least. Inside, a part of him was dying.
Running his hand over his face, he let out a deep breath as he prepared himself to go find his daughter. Turning the corner, he made his way down the aisle and stopped dead in his tracks at the woman stood not two feet away from his daughter.
As if his conversation with his daughter hadn't just sent him back two years this... now... He didn't know what to do. Did he speak to her? Did he quietly slip away with Lucy? Did he make small talk? Did they... reminisce? He looked around – where was Lindsay?
"Danny?"
Swallowing, he somehow found his voice. "Rikki, hey."
"Oh my- wow, how are you?"
"I'm good... you?"
"I'm doing well, just visiting friends at the minute... one of them just had a baby so I figured I'd combine presents... what are you doing in the toy aisle."
Pointing at a wondering Lucy, he smiled.
"I Lucy," Lucy covered for her father.
"Lucy? What a beautiful name," she smiled before turning her attention to Danny. "Is she-"
"He's my daddy!" She exclaimed excitedly as she tackled her father's leg. Yet, despite the little girl's admission, Rikki looked to Danny for confirmation.
"She's my daughter." Danny nodded, a huge bolt of guilt striking his heart as Rikki looked at his beautiful baby girl – yet, she couldn't introduce Lucy to Ruben.
"I two!" Lucy broke the extremely awkward silence.
"You're two? Two whole years old? Wow!" Rikki exclaimed. "And you're so beautiful! Are you sure he's your Daddy, he's not that pretty..."
"He's my daddy... my mommy is pretty like me, right Daddy?"
"She sure is baby," Danny nodded.
"Santa's coming soon! Right Daddy, right? We were just looking at bikeys, but Daddy says no because Santa has no room on his sleigh, but maybe next year, right Daddy? Right?"
"We'll see peanut."
"How many more sleeps Daddy?" She asked.
"Three more sleeps," he answered.
"Three!" Lucy reiterated with three fingers held in the air to support her claim. "Is that for someone?" Lucy asked, pointing at the teddy held in Rikki's arms. "Do you have a baby like Daddy does?"
Danny closed his eyes desperate for the ground to transport both him and Lucy to Lindsay and erase this moment from his memory permanently. His worst nightmare ever was coming true. Here he was, shopping, Rikki, Lucy and Lindsay; all together, in one place. And the most predominate of the nightmare was the feeling of guilt firmly taking place in his gut.
Looking up, he spied Lindsay whom had a look of concern on her face. She stepped up her speed but approached cautiously. "Hi guys," She said, making her presence known.
Although she'd never met Rikki, she'd seen pictures. And Flack had described her in a moment of weakness when Lindsay had beat him down in trying to get some answers behind Danny's actions.
She flashed a huge and bright smile to her excited daughter before turning her attention to Rikki.
Danny felt the guilt and anxiety rise in the pit of his stomach. He'd made a stupid, stupid mistake a few years ago – and now, karma was kicking his ass royally for it. He swallowed and braced himself for what was about to come, and just before he could close his eyes, he saw his wife wrap her arms around Rikki Sandoval.
He blinked, once, twice, three times to make sure his contacts weren't in backwards. Was this really happening?
"Rikki, I'm sorry." He heard his wife say softly. "I'm really sorry for your loss. From what Danny told me, Ruben was a wonderful little boy."
Danny saw Rikki physically swallow and try to find words within her to supply Lindsay with a reply. "He was. He loved Danny..."
"And Danny loved him, didn't you babe."
Nodding pathetically, Danny stood silently.
"Lindsay," Rikki sighed, chewing her lip in contemplation. "This isn't the time nor the place but I just really want to say-"
"Don't worry about it," Lindsay shook her head. "A mistake is a mistake... you just have to live and learn."
"But-"
"There aren't any hard feelings on my part," She said softly, "Honestly... we all make mistakes and you've just got to sometimes take the lessons you learn with you."
Rikki nodded slowly, sporting a mixture of sorrow, guilt and relief on her face. Finally, she smiled and glanced down to Lucy whom was rifling through the display of Barbie's in the middle of Lindsay and Danny. "You have a beautiful daughter, she's absolutely adorable."
"Thanks," Lindsay smiled. "We like her, right peanut?"
"Yep," Lucy agreed but not really listening to the conversation at hand as she held Barbie and Ken's boxes inches apart and letting them engage in an extremely important conversation.
"See, adorable." Rikki laughed, gaining a giggle from Lindsay as she ruffled her daughter's blonde curls. "I better go," Rikki said finally, "Places to go, people to see. It was... it was nice to see you both."
"Yeah, you too." Lindsay smiled as she turned and looked over her shoulder to a still silent Danny.
"It was good to see you Rikki." Danny finally managed. "I'm glad you're doin' good."
"You too," she smiled. "And you, miss Lucy, it was lovely to meet you."
Lucy flashed a sweet smile over her shoulder before turning her attention back to Barbie and Ken.
"Have a lovely Christmas," Rikki smiled before turning on her heel and slipping into the foot traffic, attempting to navigate themselves around the store.
Within seconds of Rikki's depature, Danny turned to face his wife. "Linds, what... what was that?" he stammered. "You... she... I... what?"
Lindsay looked behind her as she watched Rikki disappear among the crowds. She then looked down to their daughter, happily giggling to herself inbetween her parents. Finally, after a few moments of steeling herself, Lindsay let out a breath. "I couldn't imagine what it would do to me if I lost her," She began, pointing down towards their daughter. "And to be honest I don't want to know what it feels like to have such a huge part of your heart gone. I can't even fathom what she must be going through."
"But..."
"I don't like some of the stuff she did Danny, but I can't hold it against her. Not after losing a child."
Danny blinked at his wife in awe.
"And I would like to think that if God forbid, the tables were turned, she would have done the same."
Danny was silent. No words that he could come up with would ever, ever compliment and add to the words and reasoning his wife had just given him.
"What did you expect, me to rag her to the floor by her hair in front of our daughter?"
"What? No! Of course not... I just, I... you're- I'm-"
"Spit it out Daddy," Lucy giggled from her spot on the floor.
Smiling softly, Lindsay closed the distance between the two of them and placed a kiss to his forehead. "It's okay. I get what you're trying to say... you can breathe now, it's over. I'm not upset, I'm not mad, and I know you're sorry baby, okay?"
And with that, she knelt next to her daughter, took the box containing Ken away from her and became a playmate in Lucy's little make-believe game.
In the last three minutes Danny realised that there were just some things that made him fall even more in love with his wife. He'd told himself that he loved her from the depths of his heart and with his entire soul – but she had just proven that there was something else within him that she'd been able to tap into. Her selflessness, sympathy, empathy, kind nature and her adoration for the daughter they shared together were just a few things that boiled to the surface within him.
The fact that she'd come to terms with what he'd done to her and had moved past that floored him – but the fact that their daughter gave her a new perspective was something that was undoubtedly going to take him some time to comprehend. He'd never, ever thought about it in the way that Lindsay had just outlined for him.
How and when she'd moved on from what happened, he'd never know, but he did know that he'd remember that moment forever. Not because his worst decision came face-to-face with his best decision but it was the moment that he realised he'd found the one person in the entire that loved him in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer – and for better for worse.
Kneeling next to his wife, he pressed a kiss to her cheek before reaching for a different Barbie doll and wiggled his way into the on-going conversation between Barbie and Ken. He smiled as he put on a high-pitched voice, instantly gaining him a giggle from both his wife and daughter.
"I think these here might be a good present to send to Santa," Lindsay said to Danny. "What do you think Daddy?"
"I like that idea... so long as Daddy can play Ken in future."
"Well, that's up to Lucy." Lindsay smiled. "What do you think Peanut, shall we take Barbie and Ken home?"
Blinking, Lucy gasped excitedly. She then bundled the dolls together and squeezed them tight; providing Lindsay with the answer she needed.
"Take that as a yes," Lindsay giggled as she stood and offered her husband a hand to help him up.
His fingers curled around her's perfectly, and she gave him a good tug in helping him to his feet, but instead of letting him go, she pulled him into a hug and the two shared a soft and loving kiss before Lindsay felt her slacks being tugged on by a little girl. As she pulled away, Danny let out a contented sigh. He'd always known in her he'd found his soul-mate, but he'd never had that moment for affirmation...
Until now.
There you have it guys, hope you liked it and it was worthy of my 100th story - thoughts and comments are muchly appreciated! Thanks for checking in with the latest. :)
And I'm sure I'll get something up before, but if not - Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to each and everyone of you - have a wonderful time however you decide to spend it :)